How Does the Online Idea Party Work?
You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)
The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.
Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:
Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital
I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store
Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!
And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.
(Your first comment below has to be approved, so it may not display instantly depending on the time of the day. Once your email address is approved you can post instantly. If you want your own profile photo to show up beside your comments, instead of the cute little design, upload your photo on Gravatar.com and give them an hour or so to make it happen.)
Dream: To get married.
Obstacles: Where/How to meet someone? I’m 38 years old and as most of my friends/colleagues are partnered up, I don’t go out as much as I used to or meet as many new people.
I’ve tried online dating many times and singles nights but it never comes to much. I never seem to meet anyone where there’s a mutual attraction. I think a lot of the problem comes from the fact that as an introvert, I also prefer quite solitary activities (e.g., yoga, reading, piano) so am not even that interested in going to loads of social events. I also have an intense dislike of small talk, so I actually hate the idea of dating loads of people I don’t like in the hope that I’ll find someone I do. Or going out with someone I’m not that interested in, in the hope that we’ll eventually get on.
Apart from completely changing my personality (not possible or desirable), I’m not sure what else I can do. I’ve come a long way in accepting my quieter personality so to try to become an extrovert would seem to be undoing all my ‘inner work’. Besides, there are plenty of introverted and shy people who have partners so I really don’t think it’s necessary to change in that way.
Any ideas will be gratefully received!
You need to meet a lot of people to find the one for you. And the folks who share your love of solitary activities don’t tend to show up at social events. But they will show up in yoga classes, at piano performances, in book stores (readings and signings might work well), and in libraries. The trick is to learn how to approach the other people there as they finish up whatever they’re doing.
One very successful method I’ve seen is one I call the Larry method, because that’s the name of the man I ran into multiple times using it. He always had a question ready to ask. Nothing about politics or religion or sex, but something people can discuss without rancor. It was always an open-ended question, one that requires more than a yes or no answer, so that he could ask a follow-up question about the answer. And he always had ready his own answer in case anyone turned the question back around on him.
If a woman answered his question and didn’t treat him with disdain (he looked and dressed like Larry of the Three Stooges), he would stop the conversation just as it took off. He’d say, “I’m hoping to say hello to everyone at this event, so would you mind if I followed up with you by telephone? I’m really enjoying our conversation.” And he’d walk out with more phone numbers than any other man in the room.
If you did this, you could pretty much skip small talk and awkward first dates. Make the question something of significance to you. Follow up only with the people whose answers interest you. And see if you hit it off by phone (but now, instead of like online dating, it’s after observing the person in the flesh at an event that matters to you) before you suggest getting together for a brief conversation over ice cream or coffee or after an event you’d both enjoy.
OR keep using online dating and singles nights, but learn to turn small talk into more significant talk instead of walking away from it. Brainstorm a list of questions to ask in reply to banal statements or questions. E.g., Q: Do you think it will rain? A: I hope it will; are any of your musical instruments affected by humidity like this? Q: Where did you grow up? A: In a small town in Kentucky. What’s your favorite way to enjoy yourself when you’re in a small town without movie theaters and concert halls and yoga classes? Etc. Remember: it’s a good thing to drive off the folks who don’t think what’s important to you is important; it frees up time to meet people you’ll actually find worthy of becoming your life partner. And the ones who like your questions are not only good options for you, but very likely grateful to you for freeing them to talk about what matters to them without fear of rejection.
DREAM: I would like to live and work in Italy for a while, immersed in the culture and history and getting to know the people. I’ve considered teaching English as a Foreign Language there. I’ve explored some programs online like Language Corps.
OBSTACLES:
1) how I’ll afford to pay for the training and living and save for retirement. I’m 54 years old and single.
2) Leaving my mom and sister. I’m Power of Attorney for my elderly mom . My sister would be upset if I left her alone to do all of the worrying and taking care of mom.
3) I have two dogs that I must take with me.
4) I have a home that I am still paying on and want to hang onto.
Hi Carolyn. With all your commitments at home, I suggest you start by going to Italy for short periods during vacation time, maybe adding some unpaid leave to it.
That doesn’t mean you have to go as a superficial tourist. You can do short term volunteering with these organisations, where you work a few hours a day for your hosts in return for accommodation and (usually) food. You can get deeply immersed in the culture in a short time that way, especially if you keep going back to the same place.
http://www.workaway.info
http://www.helpx.net/
http://www.wwoof.it/en/
Or you can stay with local people through couch surfing
http://www.hospitalityclub.org/
http://www.couchsurfing.com/
Another possibility is home exchange with an Italian person or family who wants to visit your country. There are several websites for this. Here’s a link to one of them.
http://www.intervac-homeexchange.com/
During the time you are away, you could hire a home care worker to help your sister, or your mom could stay in a respite care home.
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/caregiving/respite-care.htm
And get a dog-sitter for your dogs, or find them a good boarding kennel.
During the times you are at home, you could keep in touch with Italian culture by hosting Italian couch surfers or students learning English.
Eventually your situation will change, and you’ll find ways of staying there for longer periods if you still want to.
Dream: I’d like to have my backyard revamped. I would like to have a water feature in the yard so I can hear the sounds of water. We live a few blocks from the ocean, next to a Navy base. If we were to get high enough, there are no obstacles (except a few trees) to see the ocean. I would like to have a second story deck in the backyard, so we would be able to watch the ships go in and out of the area. I want to be able to go outside in the morning with a cup of coffee and watch the sunrise and the ocean. And in the evening, I’d like to see the ocean and sip on a glass of champagne or wine. Heaven!
Obstacles:
– No funds to make this happen.
– If we did have the $$, we would need to have extra funds for our increased property taxes.
– I’ve had this dream for about six or seven years now. We have even had a couple of bids from landscape designers but each bid was way beyond our budget.
Sounds marvelous, Sally!
Do any schools near you teach construction and want a project?
Do you have any special skills you could trade for construction or engineering help?
Is there a room on the second floor you could add openable windows to and achieve the same results as a deck?
Thank you for your response, Patty. I really appreciate your suggestions.
I’m going to look into schools that may teach construction. Instinctively, I want to say no, there aren’t any schools nearby, but I’m going to research it before making a judgement.
I retired a year ago. I used to work at an aerospace company organizing special events and exhibits around the world. I’m not sure folks in the construction field would want those skills, but I could organize a very nice office party or award ceremony for them. 🙂
We don’t have a second floor on the house. It’s a one story. We did look into having a second story added with a deck. But it was beyond our budget.
Thank you again for your suggestions.
Do you know anyone who could design it for you in exchange for something you could do for them? Like a swap? Also do you know about WWOOFING – if there were parts of the build that you don’t need a professional builder for having a WOOFER stay might help (especially if your renovation is eco / sustainable in some way someone might want to get learn all about that).
Thank you for the response, Jade.
See my response above on my skills. I have a design in mind, it’s the actual construction that we aren’t currently able to afford.
I’m not familiar with WWOOFING. What is it? Have you used a WOOFER?
Thank you again!
How tall is the house and what kind of roof does it have? Could you install a balcony or French balcony high enough to get a view? Or what about a viewing deck on the roof?
Thank you for your response, Skannie.
Our house is a one story. It has a Spanish tile roof. I also thought about the possibility of a deck on the roof, but my husband said it would be too difficult because of the tile roof.
Thank you again!
im 19 years old, currently going to college in ct. i have always had a love for cars and working on them. my dream is to one day become a race car driver, even if it just means bringing a decent car ti my local race track and participating in some scca events. my curent obstacles include raising enough money, and finding a craigslist seller who isnt trying to charge an arm and a leg for an old car with over 200,000 miles on it already.
Hi Jordan. i see no-one has answered you yet, so I’ll give you a few ideas.
Start hanging out at local race tracks, practice tracks, race driving schools or race-car repair places, talking to the staff and offering to help out. You’ll probably just be fetching and carrying to start with, but when they get to know how interested you are they might let you do some repairs and test out the cars. If you’re good they’ll probably let you race them too. Maybe there’ll even be a part-time job there. And you’ll have your ear to the ground about any good cheap cars for sale.
You could get together with a group of people with the same interest and buy a car together. Or maybe just find a group of fans with some money who’d like to own a car as a syndicate so they can watch it, and you could be their driver.
Perhaps you could start a car racing society at your college and it could buy a car. Maybe organise some fund-raising events for it.
You could start a free blog about car racing. Go to wordpress.com or Blogger. You could write reports of races, post videos, do interviews with drivers and other racing people, give car repair and maintenance tips, discuss driving techniques, race safety, info about types of cars for racing and what to look for when buying one, comparisons of tracks and driving schools etc. etc. When it gets known, you could probably make some money by advertising products and schools and races. But the main benefit to you would be that it gets you very deep into the world of car racing, and making lots of contacts who will be pleased to get some publicity, and will give you the opportunity to drive cars.
What I Want: I want to be a writer. I’ve written poetry, short stories, journalistic pieces, children’s books, comic book scripts and TV/Film treatments, short stories, and memoirs.
I’m looking for writing courses in Connecticut. I’m looking for someone to edit my work. And looking to learn more about publishing. Any kind of work in the areas that I am strong in would be wonderful.
I’m currently an art teacher and I’m unhappy working at my school. I live in CT and don’t seem to have connections.
I want to work less hours but am worried about insurance since I have significant health issues and need to have coverage.
I need money to pay rent and expenses so I can work less hours to devote to my writing career.
I don’t have any professional writing connections or support.
Dear Ronnie,
maybe you are already a professional writer with your personal stile?
Did you ever publish what you have written?
The symbol on your pic touched my soul.
What does it mean?
Hope you will soon be able to live your dreams.
Kind regards,
Melanie
Ronnie, it sounds like you’re already a writer to me! You just want to do a course to get some feedback and formality to it all I guess. I’m a freelance editor and proofreader so I know a little about publishing and it’s not that tricky really, it depends on how far you want to take things. Do you have any favourite authors who are still around that you admire? What do they do? Do they have their own websites and social media accounts? Is it worth following them and seeing how they work too? I’m not in the USA but Europe, so don’t have all the answers, but happy to help where I can and offer some support. 🙂
Hi everyone,
My ideal day would start very early in the morning in my geodesic dome house in the mountains. In my writing loft I write my humor column, social essays, and a book I’ve had ideas on for a long time. After my workout, I head down to my plane with my female partner and Eco design crew. We travel to impoverished villages around the world to work with and learn from local people so as to design and solve problems that produce clean water and ecological ways for the area to prosper.
When we return from the trip I spend mornings writing stories about the places I’ve been to as well as the humor column. I tap dance with my troupe and sing with an acapella group later on in the day. In combination, the two groups put on performances around the country. I read widely and voraciously in the evening. We often get visitor friends from around the world at that time as well, brainstorming, joking, and planning new projects.
Obstacles:
1) I hate to sit down and write, but I love my writings when done. They are the only things that truly fuel my life.
2) I have no money to do any of this.
3) I’m 63 years old
4) I’m only OK at tap, and have zero singing experience
5) I’ve written humorous and editorial type essays, off and on, for years…mostly off, publishing only a couple editorials and almost two humor pieces along the way. That is a 30-year stretch of time.
6) I’ve done the carpentry/plumbing etc. trades as a handyman for way too long, and my latest job is just ending. I have no prospects for future income.
7) I’m in Arizona when the heat is just picking up. I cannot take one more summer of 115-degree temperatures.
8) I have my stuff in storage in San Diego where I lived for a long time. The cost of living is too high there now. I want to move my stuff to Montana but the moving van costs are high, and I’ve no job lined up there.
9) I really want to be near a school for access to fascinating courses on history, ecology, society, etc. and people interested in my dreams. (Missoula, Mt seems to have what I need, but the economy is not great there now. I’d go wherever that place might be.)
10) I’m exhausted from this life I’ve lived.
Thanks for any comments you might have,
Mark
Hi Mark,
A good start might be to talk to a job finder (can’t think of the proper term- employment office?) in Missoula before you rule it out.
You can look around for local choirs to get comfortable singing in groups, they are usually happy to accept everyone I believe, no matter how much experience or talent you think you have.
You might check out Eco Art, to get connected with innovators wanting to change the world. Even if you’re not interested in the art aspect, that can break you in to that world.
Annette,
Thanks so much for your really good ideas. I just found your email, then checked out a bit of EcoArtProject and it sounds like a good place to contact. I’ve checked online for some work in Missoula, but an actual employment office seems like a much more effective approach. And choirs…yes, they too will be very good venues for learning to sing with groups.
Your email helps a lot.
Thanks,
Mark
Hi Mark,
This sounds a little out-of-left-field, but you might consider moving to Christchurch, New Zealand where they are trying to recruit (even from overseas) tradesmen/supervisors to help in the 2011 earthquake reconstruction. Tradespeople even get extra preference for immigration. Eco-minded country, helpful neighborly culture. And scenery that can out-do even Missoula. (Oh, and they have universities in Christchurch!)
The New Zealand immigration website has links to Work In and Work Here, websites that connect employers to immigrant candidates.
Hi Holda,
Anything way-out-of-left-field is really what I want. I love the idea of New Zealand! I checked out the immigration website but didn’t yet find work I think I’d be qualified for. I plan next to give a phone call and see if I might be overlooking something or if there are other possibilities.
And universities to boot?
Thanks for your great ideas,
Mark
Hi. I am retired and widowed just to put me in perspective before my request. I make a special hot fudge sauce for my grandchildren. My grandson recently said Gram you should sell this stuff. So I looked into a “rent a commercial kitchen”. Food produced in CT must go through a commercial kitchen. First, I would have to take a class in food safety, pay to join the kitchen and pay for time used plus storage if need refrigeration (since I don’t know ph of sauce I don’t know if I do). Phew! Plus I would have to produce, package and sell food myself. I think I have a good product, aka grandkids, and I could use the extra income but I was overwhelmed by the amount of money, work and physical labor involved. Anyone have any ideas on how to bring a product to local markets other than doing everything yourself?
Jan, maybe you could team up with someone who’s already done all that. Like a home-industry owner stuck without an exciting new product.
Good idea, Doret. Anybody want to suggest names of people who might already be in the same business and looking for something new and interesting? (And a nice lawyer for the little guy to make sure our friend – or anyone who makes fudge that good! – is legally protected. It would also be interesting to find some literature (books? biographies?) about people who started out this small and how they grew.
Suggestions would be very useful. I’m lousy at searching for things on the internet and I’m not even sure what to search for, but I’m going to jump right in anyway. Nothing warms my heart like a talented little guy, especially when we’re talking about chocolate anything.
(I wonder what kind of licensing one needs to send such things as fudge to friends – for pay. Maybe some kind of private club? After all, Jan might only need 100 customers, if they were consistent about ordering (the way I am with coffee beans for instance) and paid a $50 monthly fee so Jan wouldn’t have to spend money on advertising or worry about how good business would be next month.)
I have a friend in CT who has a candy store calle IT! Candies. Her name is Karen Massi and the site is: haveyoutriedityet.com
If you reach out to her she can give you some pointers. I designed her logo and character mascot and if you mention my name, Ronn, and that I gave you her info she might be willing to help with all the details.
Thank you Ronnie. I will reach out to her. And thank you Barbara for making the plea on my behalf.
Hey everyone,
I’ve always wanted to be an actress. I live in between London and Canterbury at the moment, but was born and raised in South Africa. I have tried to get acting jobs, have been to workshops and auditions for tv adverts in South Africa, but I’ve never gotten any callbacks. I know that I can act, because I did my grade 8 Speech and Drama exams with Trinity College London without help from a teacher and got a Distinction.
So here are my obstacles:
– I don’t have a university degree, and haven’t been to drama school. I’d love to but I can’t afford it.
– I have had some really pointless experiences with trying to get into the industry, and I don’t want to make the same mistakes again.
– I’m really, really scared that I’ll just spend the rest of my life chasing this, or living below the line. I’m really sensitive, so I don’t think I could handle being a starving artist.
So there it is. I would like to point out that I don’t mind doing a runner job or helping with sets because I can paint, and I’m not too stupid. I just want to be involved, because it’s one of the only things in my life where I feel like I really belong.
Any help is appreciated.
Thanks
Hi Charise
No, being a starving artist isn’t a good idea. A better plan is to get a reasonably pleasant job to pay your bills, if you don’t have one already, and start pursuing your acting interest in your free time. Then if you find it leads to some paid acting work, you can quit your job or cut down the hours.
There is a long tradition of amateur theatre in England, so that would probably be the best way to start getting some of what you love, and finding a bunch of people you belong with.
Between London and Canterbury must be some part of Kent. So here are three sites with info about amateur drama groups and theatre companies in Kent :
http://kentamdram.wix.com/kentamdram#!meetthegroups/cjg9
http://www.amateurtheatredirectory.co.uk/amateur-dramatics-groups/general-theatre/kent/list.html
http://www.kentdrama.org.uk/
If you like film work you could also get together with people who want to make videos for YouTube. Maybe film or media students, or a small company making training videos.
Hi Josué. Sounds like a great dream, and I hope you achieve it.
I’m not sure how you’re planning to combine WWOOFing with doing a course of study at a university. Won’t they expect you to attend lectures, and do assignments, and maybe pass some exams?
The information I’ve found is that you can stay in the Schengen area of Europe without a visa for 90 days of any 180-day period. That means a maximum of 3 months there and then 3 months outside the area.
Here is a list of Schengen area countries http://www.schengenvisainfo.com/schengen-visa-countries-list/
These European countries are not in the Schengen area, but have their own individual requirements for visa-free entry for Mexicans:
United Kingdom – Visa not required – 6 months
Ireland – Visa not required – 90 days
Albania – Visa not required – 90 days
Bosnia and Herzegovina – Visa not required – 90 days
Bulgaria – Visa not required – 90 days within 180 days
Croatia – Visa not required – 90 days within 180 days
Macedonia – Visa not required – 90 days
Montenegro – Visa not required – 90 days
Romania – Visa not required – 90 days within 180 days
Serbia – Visa not required – 90 days
Cyprus – Visa not required – 90 days within 180 days
So I think you could arrange your WWOOFING to alternate between Schengen and non-Schengen countries for as long as you want. You’ll probably need to have a passport that’s valid for at least 3 months beyond the date you expect to leave Europe, and you might need to prove you have sufficient money to support yourself during your stay.
You could also spend some time in non-European countries e.g.
Georgia – Visa not required – 360 days
Morocco – Visa not required – 3 months
Turkey – eVisa – Free for 30 days
But of course, don’t rely on my information. You need to check the correct and up-to-date situation for each country on their official government websites, or.by contacting their embassies.
DREAM: I want to do WOOFING (working in organic farms for shelter and food) in Europe for a year, travelling from country to country every couple of weeks or months.
OBSTACLE: However, I’m Mexican and therefore need a Visa to be able to stay more than 3 months. Not sure what to do 🙁
I’m currently applying to a French university and if I get accepted I will be able to achieve this dream… If not, well, that’s the biggest obstacle.
Hi Josué. Did you see my reply to you? For some reason it got posted separately instead of here under your post.