How Does the Online Idea Party Work?
You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)
The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.
Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:
Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital
I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store
Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!
And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.
(Your first comment below has to be approved, so it may not display instantly depending on the time of the day. Once your email address is approved you can post instantly. If you want your own profile photo to show up beside your comments, instead of the cute little design, upload your photo on Gravatar.com and give them an hour or so to make it happen.)
So, the first thing that seems intriguing (and I do have much more defined (sort of) dreams, however in the beginning Barbara’s hanging out seems like something I need right now because I am not living life, sort of dying a slow death at 64. I remember Barbara’s book from the 70’s (?) or later. I liked in then. I am on disability and housing subsidy so money is a big issue-and an even bigger one when I contemplate my dreams because I am not allowed to HAVE money for them in order to achieve them and just paid a huge price for accepting a large financial gift to make one of them come true. The idea of not having anything to look forward feels me with dread. So my first “goal” is to be able to do “Hanging Out With Barbara” but money is the obstacle right now. There ya go! 😉
Start a “gofundme” campaign to raise the amount needed and send it to friends and ask them to share it. You could be honest about your challenges of living without any purpose, that you really want to contribute to the world in a substantial way, you are trying to figure out how to do this with your disability and are asking for help in getting the resources. You could start a blog on a free blogging site about your journey and give the web address so those who contribute can keep up with your journey. And I strongly suggest a huge helping of gratitude even in the midst of pain and suffering (especially in your online presence – like the blog) because people like to help those who are grateful rather than those who complain. Hope that helps!
I wish to have a trip around the world. It’s one of my biggest wishes. At seems not so difficult to achieve. But I can’t find enough brave, money and support for it.
I feel that just after this trip I can start doing something very inspiring for me and for others..
My obstacles:
– I need a man-partner for this trip
– I need money
– I need be brave
Why do you need a man partner for this trip?
And we can help you be brave! You sound young? You can do this! You can even do this alone, potentially depending on your reasons for needing a man. This is VERY doable. Don’t give up on this one!
Well, if you get the right person in the first wish, you might not need the others. 🙂 What are some ways to meet the right person to travel with? (Is that all you want him for? Or are you looking for a relationship? Either way is okay, just let us know.) 🙂
Alina,
My daughter did this when she was 20 and had her 21st birthday in Cambodia. As her mother, this was very scary for me, so while you will be able to find courage and money, the support might be a bit harder to find, especially if you’re young.
Courage: Take some baby steps to get started and each baby step will help you get braver to take the big trip: Get a passport. Once you have it, you will want to use it. Make an itinerary of your entire trip with the travel dates and everything. Figure out what it is that you want to see and do and how it will fit into the plan. Make a budget – having the real money numbers in front of you might help you see this is not much of an obstacle. Build up your brave muscle: Do something brave that has nothing to do with travel. Go rock climbing, spend a weekend camping alone, anything that will help you know yourself better. You’ll start realizing you are braver than you thought and pretty soon, what was hard to imagine doing will be what you do next. Follow people on IG who are doing what you want to do, make friends wih them and ask for advice. IG can be a wonderful resource if you take the time to cultivate relationships there.
Money: Look into work/travel opportunities like woofers (WWOOF) that you can take part in and work part-time while you’re traveling. Also look for internships and similar programs that will accept people with no college education, you just need to be willing to work hard for part of your stay (non-profit ranches, horse preserves, bird sanctuaries are some examples). These programs also offer a more stable live-in situation once you get to the country, so you won’t be alone. You’ll meet other people wanting to travel to additional countries and you might be able to find travel partners this way. Try http://www.windcrossconservancy.org/Volunteer/index.html
Support: Start talking to all of your friends about your dream. Most likely, there will be at least one other person who wants to do this, too. If you can’t find a man to travel with, consider traveling with another woman.
My daughter travelled with two men through Europe for 6 weeks to start out, but spent the rest of the trip by herself (6 months total). Once she got to each country, there were plenty of other travellers to team up with. She made new friends from all over the world.
I wish to be a life coach and own my own practice counselling and helping others as well as tutoring individuals. Along side that I want to write books and have them published.
Obstacles: I have no money, am a single mother and have a very small social circle.
When starting a new career, the traditional way it goes is usually:
1. pay for courses and learn about your field
2. participate/do stuff for free
3. make money on your profession
However, nowadays it is much easier to get going for free, and skip step 1.
This is what I would suggest:
1. You want to be a life coach. That is very broad. Write down a few keywords to specify what you are most interested in.
2. Google those keywords and learn about them. Watch youtube videos, read articles, join discussion forums and discuss these topics until you have a basic understanding for them.
3. Join meetup.com or any other social platform you prefer. You can also join or start facebook groups for life coaching. Tell people you are willing to coach them for free (you will gain valuable experience for free). This will also help you to build your social circle.
4. As you gain more experience, start writing your book. Because you now have some hands-on experience, you will know what to write.
5. When the book is finished, you can crowd-fund the publishing of your book through kickstarter, indiegogo or a similar platform.
6. Once your book has been published, you will have gained credibility. At this point, you should be able to earn money from counselling.
I hope this helps. Let me know how it works out for you. 🙂
I wish I could be more productive and have other artists around me who understand where I’m coming from and want to help each other. Or maybe someone else in my life who can help me organise my chaotic brain, and I can support them in turn (um, a soul mate haha).
Obstacles: I’m an art student but my fellow students seem too engrossed in their own work. Everyone else seems to know what they want to express and how. There’s no communication between us and it doesn’t seem like they need it.
I seem to suffer from depression, for every 2 or 3 days I spend feeling alive and productive I spend another 4 feeling intense psychic pain and unable to do ANYTHING but stay home and cry. Sometimes I draw and write poetry but it all seems too cheesy, and I can’t use that type of thing for school.
My “main” work, videos, are already deemed too personal and not very well received by teachers. Probably because they’re a little sexist.
Also I can’t afford a shrink, so that’s out of the question.
A few more details:
I’ve moved around two months ago to this new town, I’ve attended three art schools in total. So a different school every year, last year because I did a study abroad program, this year because I’ve changed schools. I’m in Italy and art schools are very Old World and disorganised.
I’ve moved a lot all my life so I get antsy staying too long in one place, but I’d like to try putting down roots…
Hi Emalia
First of all have you tried finding other liked-minded people by joining any online artists’ communities? One that springs to mind is http://www.deviantart.com, but if you Google you’ll find others. I’m sure there are also groups and pages on Faceboook connected with your artistic and other interests.
If your brain seems chaotic, and you have more varied interests than most other people, you probably have a Scanner personality, which Barbara Sher writes and talks about a lot, e.g. in her book Refuse to Choose, and in various videos on YouTube. You might find them very helpful. You can probably get the book from a library.
I know some art students are very single minded and self-motivated, but there are probably others in your class who only seem that way on the outside, and are probably longing for friendship as much as you are. But it can be hard to break the ice, especially if you are shy or introverted.
I suggest you start by complimenting people about their work. Things like – “I love the colours you used there”, or “I like the way you did that”, or “that’s a very interesting concept”, or “that reminds me of [name of famous artist] did they influence you?”
It’s also good to ask people for help and advice. Maybe say, “I’m having difficulty with this, and you’re so good at it, can you show me how?” Or if there was an art program on TV, or an exhibition nearby, ask them if they saw it, and what did they think of it. Ask what they thought of a particular lecture or class, or who their favourite or least favourite teacher is etc. etc.
Also make a point of going to exhibition openings of students from your school or other artists in your area. You might get some free snacks and wine, and you can usually talk to the artists and other people about their work, and gradually make some friends.
Does your school have any clubs or societies for different interests? Maybe you could join some of them. Social dance clubs are good if you like dancing. Maybe salsa or disco or folk dancing. It’s one of the best remedies for depression.
If you like writing, how about starting an email newsletter for your school class or department? Or an arts blog? You could interview arty people, and promote and review arty events etc.
If you feel depressed more at this time of year than in the summer, and you’re not living in a place that stays sunny all year, it might help to take some high dose vitamin D supplements (but not from cod liver oil because it contains a lot of vitamin A which can also make you depressed.)
You need to keep on doing all those things you like doing, but it doesn’t all need to be for school. You can hide them in a drawer and only show them to close friends, or post them anonymously on a blog, or have your own YouTube channel. Keep your personal creations away from people who will dislike or misunderstand them. Do some other work specially for school to get you through the course. Once you are qualified you can do any kind of art you want to.
From your name I’m guessing that you’re a woman, so I’m surprised that you say your videos are a little sexist. Or do you mean that they are feminist, and your teachers don’t like them because they are men? I don’t see why being personal should be a problem as a lot of famous art is very personal. But if your teachers don’t like it, maybe you need to produce two streams of art, one just for your own satisfaction and another for school approval.
We’re not psychiatrists here so I don’t know if we can help with your psychic pain and sadness, but tell us some more about it. What are you thinking about when you have those feelings? Do you do a lot of ruminating about your failings and things that went wrong in your life? Are you feeling sadness and pain when you should be feeling angry?
Lots of women have difficulty expressing anger because we’ve been taught to suppress it. There’s also a lot of pressure in our culture nowadays to always be positive, which I think can be harmful. if that could be part of your problem, try reading this chapter in Wishcraft about the power of negative thinking http://wishcraft.com/wishcraft_ch5.pdf
I wish my student loan debt was gone (over $100,000!).
I only make $40k/year and live in Chicago. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease almost two years ago and have only been in remission for 6 months. I NEED good healthcare and low stress and have stayed in my job (that I hate) while I was trying to stabilize my health and now am in the aftermath and have no idea what my next direction, but at EVERY turn, the amount of money I have to pay in minimums on my loans is like 1/3rd of my income. I get nowhere with my debt and it keeps me from exploring and doing all kinds of things. I have no idea how to pay it off fast. I am great with money. I have no other debt other than my loans and I hate feeling like a slave because of them. I have an income problem, not a money management problem. And I have so many weird work experiences and degrees and new interests that I have no idea how to handle any of it. I am not qualified for a job that would pay lots, so I could pay them off fast. It’s a viscious cycle. I don’t know what to do.
Hi Kelsey
I was fortunate that I didn’t need any student loans, due to the times and places that I did my two degrees in, but I know student loans are a huge problem nowadays for many people, especially in the USA. And Crohns can be very nasty too, so I’m glad you’ve got that under control.
I’m not American so I don’t know of any specific solutions for your debts, apart from campaigning for the politicians to do something about it. I think if you’re able to pay your minimum repayments on 1/3 of your income, and live without increasing your debts on the other 2/3, you are doing better than a lot of people, but that’s probably no comfort to you.
Two sentences really jumped out at me from your post. “I get nowhere with my debt and it keeps me from exploring and doing all kinds of things.” and “I have so many weird work experiences and degrees and new interests that I have no idea how to handle any of it.”
Those make me think you are the kind of person Barbara Sher wrote about in her book “Refuse to Choose” i.e. people with many different interests (like me and many of the people who come to this site). She calls us Scanners because we are always scanning the horizon looking for something new and interesting.
So I think you need to read that book. I can’t promise it will solve your debt problem, but it will teach you how to handle all the variety and weirdness, and how to explore and do everything you love without having to earn lots of money and get more degrees, and how to develop a career and lifestyle that suits your personality and experiences.
Thanks for the response. I sort of half-assed read it a year or so ago and I picked it up again only to read today the part in the beginning when Barbara describes who is NOT a scanner and goes on to discuss depression. She gives an example of someone that thought they were a scanner, but realized they knew the one thing they wanted to do all along, but fear and depression kept them from doing so. I don’t feel I have that ONE thing, but I suffer from depression and anxiety.
When I re-read that passage this morning, I remembered why I couldn’t get into the book much…because that section made me feel even more lost. I can’t answer the question of depression vs. just being a scanner. Am I depressed because I am a scanner that won’t let myself be how I really am or am I depressed and crippled from that? So much about scanners rings true to me and some doesn’t. I don’t feel like I fit ANYWHERE.
http://www.studentloanborrowerassistance.org/bankruptcy/
Dear friends,
I’ve read some of the comments here, and it’s comforting to see you all daring to dream, struggling with familiar obstacles, helping each other with such kindly answers.
Maybe the Online Idea Party is supposed to be a well-lubricated, question-answer-who’s-next-process. I am slow and thorough with a tangled web of desires. I’ve carefully worked through the first three chapters of _Wishcraft_, and finding that chapter 4 (coming up with goals based on these fuzzy dreams) is much more of a challenge.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to start out with a long flood of wants and difficulties without some confidence that I can help other people here. My first wish is to get in touch with splendid, unjudgmental, sympathetic people–so that we make friends and give each other joy. Yes, we’ve all heard the Introvert Story many times.
I know we’re all busy. But if there’s a way for me to give and receive value with you, that would be really amazing. Thank you for answering.
Hi Andrew,
There doesn’t seem to be a lot going on here right now. Probably the holidays keeping everyone busy. I hear you about the “Introvert Story”. I like to tell people that I am an introvert with extrovert tendencies but I really just an introvert.
I’ve read all of Barbara’s books and attended several of her online book clubs, which by the way, were wonderful and very powerful. I wish you good luck with Wishcraft. It’s been a while since I’ve read that one.
My obstacle is, I know what I want to do, I just can’t get myself to take action and do it consistently.
Darlene
Thank you for your kind answer, Darlene. It feels so good to be understood.
Though not sufficient, vivid daydreaming may help ignite a fire of eagerness. Or it may help to find the smallest step you could possibly take, something so small it does itself. (If it’s difficult to get up two hours earlier every day, maybe five minutes earlier is easier?)
Barbara writes, “Isolation is the dream killer”… Maybe that’s especially something for us introverts to ponder. If you aren’t already there, I suggest you join the very supportive community at the Barbara Sher Forums (boards.barbarasher.com). You could start by quickly introducing yourself at “New users post here first”: http://boards.barbarasher.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=18985
Darlene, I hope to see your dreams come true somehow… Best wishes.
I stumbled across this link for the Online Idea Party today. I took part in a 8 week Sucess Team this summer and part of it was throwing an Idea Party. I loved it! And what an amazing resource!! I had the idea of creating a 24/7 Idea Party group on Facebook and inviting all of my friends. But is there one that exists already here?And how active is it? I want it to be a really engaged group of people that are actively throwing out ideas to one another, as wishes & obstacles come up in their lives. Thanks in advance. 🙂
I’m fairly new here, but I have found it helpful. Activity seems off and on. I think a Facebook success team with your friends is a good idea. People love to conglomerate there to share their successes and their problems, why not tap into all that joint brainpower for problem solving?
I totally agree and that is why I created my groups. Live Your Dream Team has just started and I’m really looking forward to, like you say Julie, ‘ a really engaged group of people that are actively throwing out ideas to one another, as wishes & obstacles come up in their lives.’. That’s exactly what this group has been created for. I’d love to have you aboard and everyone interested are welcome. https://www.facebook.com/groups/139388109740795/
forgot to post I would like some help from a Success Team.
I want to go back to isa in a warm climate and help people understand how not to get alzheimer’s disease. I would like some help of a success team.
Hi Ann. Your first wish first. Where are you living now that’s too cold for you? What kind of warm climate do you want? Mediterranean warm? Tropical warm? Desert warm? Do you have any preferred parts of the world? Idea parties work better if you tell us your obstacles as well as your wishes. So what are the obstacles preventing you just packing some stuff in a bag and moving to a warmer place next week, or next month?
Oh, and what’s isa? I though it might be typo, but maybe it has a meaning that I don’t know.
I want to go back to isa in a warm climate and help people understand how not to get alzheimer’s disease.