How Does the Online Idea Party Work?
You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)
The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.
Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:
Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital
I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store
Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!
And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.
(Your first comment below has to be approved, so it may not display instantly depending on the time of the day. Once your email address is approved you can post instantly. If you want your own profile photo to show up beside your comments, instead of the cute little design, upload your photo on Gravatar.com and give them an hour or so to make it happen.)
I stumbled on an interview by Babara yesterday. I didn’t know I had it on my ipod. I am completely immersed in this and I want more. I already downloaded samples of all her books on the iBook store and I will buy them once I’m done with reading the samples. I want more!
My wife (25 years) continually says “Get a Job, ANY job, then later you can do what you want”. So anytime I try and step out to do a little something new that I would like to do as a new hobby or maybe as a new career, she puts me down with verbal attacks on my “dumb ideas”. She has a great fear of poverty so wants all money to pay the bills. Hiding my activity and spending from her destroys my self-confidence so much, when I do have free time to work on my project, I become paralyzed with fear and immobilized with depression. I literally can’t drag myself out of bed. I calmly observe this cycle repeating itself, but don’t know how to break out of it. Suggestions?
David, you and your wife need a Third Alternative. That’s one that gives you the satisfaction of change and whatever else you seek from a hobby while simultaneously managing her fear of poverty. It might be a bank account you build up that is reserved only for recovering from an unexpected loss of money or income. It might be what Barbara calls a “good enough job,” one with a regular, predictable paycheck that leaves you enough energy to explore your hobbies or other careers after work and on weekends. (If you’re on call or come home with responsibilities on your shoulders or the work exhausts you, it’s not a good enough job.)
The important part of a Third Alternative is that you find it together, starting with one of you jumping the net and announcing that you want and intend to give your spouse what he or she wants, but you need more information on what that is, because he or she is proposing a way of getting it that you cannot live with.
There’s more about Third Alternatives for married couples on my assumelove.com blog and more about how to try those new things that interest you without risking your income in Barbara’s book, I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was.
Patty, Thanks for your fast response! It is a perfect answer. I like the idea of a Just Good Enough job versus the perfect long-term career with no income interruptions. Neither of us have either one. I have read your blog on Third Alternatives. I appreciate your thoughtfulness.
I wish that my art (which depicts specific pieces of music) would get commissioned by some of the world’s most famous musicians such as Yo Yo Ma and then be exhibited in MoMA with a live concert by the musicians. Even without the concert, I wish to see my art exhibited in a major modern art museum in NYC and to be in high demand and of high value.
What are you doing now to exhibit and share your work Julie?
Just throw these thoughts out, instead of trying to hard to organize. Would like to go to Europe again, initially see where I lived and worked. Explore other countries, more importantly find venues to converse and discuss ideas and culture.
Leave behind the chronic loneliness of a lifetime, given to me as a child. It’s another one of those “chicken and the egg” paradoxical challenges to overcome. After gathering a nucleus of friends, find a lady to start spending some regular time with.
Sounds like a plan to do one step at a time, Anthony. Any obstacle between you and the first step?
Plenty of of obstacles, I am like a Phoenix rising from my ashes. Moved two thousand miles not quite two years ago. From South Central Texas to New England, Boston Metro. Am semi retired military veteran, been working at landing a part time position. Struggling week to week to integrate into my new world and create/collect/find my “village”. Was in the “homeless” category for two years. The objectives gave earlier are the ones that I have clarity about. It’s the dotted lines between here and there that are sketchy. So, the “positive”; health is fair, have good vehicle, a lease on my “abode” & Sister and a few friends!
My wish is to figure out what to be when I “grow up.” I suppose that’s why many of us are here. I have a feeling it’s some creative pursuit, but really, I just don’t know. I’m not even quite sure what to ask here.
Let me catch you up—the story’s not too special:
I transferred between 6-7 colleges, 3-4 majors before getting a BA in Humanities. Journalism was square one (what I was told I should do), then fine arts, art history, and museum studies. I ended in humanities because frankly, I needed a the degree in order to get an okay job that paid the bills.
Right now I’m nearly 30 and work in the realm of HR, personal branding, and career services. I can do it, I feel good when I help people, but it’s certainly not my forever thing. That I can tell you.
As a teen, you pricked my finger and any number of projects can rushing out. I created clothing, wrote constantly, made jewelry, collages, played an instrument, and, and, and… Holding it in would have been as impossible as a trapping a Taco Bell Fart 🙂
I’ve been journaling, sketching, and taking photos here and there. It’s wonderful. I think I’m ready to take it to the next level and I’m just not quite sure what that looks like. Simply flexing the muscle on my own no longer feels sufficient. I need my ass whipped a little!
Do I hire a coach? Take a course?
Where / how do I pick a good one?
This creativity stuff feels so hugely important right now, like a gateway that, if unlocked, will open me up to myself and improve every other thing I do. Even the boring HR stuff.
Wow, Erica! I loved reading what you wrote. Your enthusiasm comes through loud and clear! (And your humor and creativity, too.)
I’m sure a couch would help, but I sense you’d like to do a little more exploring first? How about writing down ten things you’d find were fun to learn more about, real fast, without editing the list and then go online and see if there are workshops over the coming months in your area on any or all of the topics.
Even things that are in a nearby state can be okay, if you can take 3-day weekends to attend. I expect you’ll be reinvigorated and learn quickly what you want to do again and what you’ll drop.
Spring and summer are wonderful times to explore. And when you hit find your people / your creativity, you’ll fill more of your waking moments exploring those topics further – and have some new friends from the workshops to stay in touch with.
I hope you’ll keep us posted here!
Jennifer
P.S. Have you considered joining Barbara’s Hanging Out club? It gives you a year of gentle tidbits to help you rediscover who you are, in a warm and supportive atmosphere. At the very least, you should go to Youtube and find some of her videos and listen. She’s a master at helping you identify your dreams – and get them!
P.P.S. LOL – I meant to say “coach”, not “couch”!
Although reclining on a couch and day-dreaming might be good, too!
I rarely ever comment on anything here, but your enthusiasm and humour just made me laugh out loud and smile. Without even thinking about it too much, off the top of my head I was thinking why not share your feelings about exploring ways to be creative? Share a weekly post on youtube. Make it as humourous as you seem to be. Explore learning how to play an intrument, creative clothing ideas, decorating, who knows what you might come up with, and where this could lead. Good luck to you, the world needs more laughter.
Hi Erica. if you haven’t yet read Barbara Sher’s book Refuse to Choose I think you would find it very helpful. It’s about how people with multiple interests can manage their lives and do everything they love, including all the creative stuff. You don’t actually have to pick just one thing to be when you grow up.
Hi Erica,
I totally relate to your hunger to unleash your creativity. I had spurts of creative periods but then got busy doing the work that paid well, work which I was passionate about at one point but then became unfulfilling when it lacked a big enough creative outlet. I finally just started doing what I love to do creatively, which is make art, and started to share it with others (mostly on Facebook) and sure enough one thing led to another and my work started selling and getting commissioned. So my advice to you is to dive into your creative loves and just keeping doing it and sharing it and things might start happening. Seeking out a coach could also be really helpfu. I happen to be a certified professional coach focused on helping people with a creative itch thrive. So feel free to reach out if that is of interest to you.
I find myself beginning to help others more, but I don’t like writing like this, although I admire friends like Dr Maria who in spite of her very busy life still manages to write to help others. After two years of being on Hanging Out with Barbara, and 2 of her 3 book clubs, while for me writing back and forth is not my cup of tea, it has changed my life. With Barbara’s books, she saved my life, realizing that I am a scanner and don’t have to believe or accept that there is something wrong with me, plus at 64 instead of sitting around thinking my life is over. I can live as many days as I can as ideal days. An exercise from 30 years ago from Wishcraft which also changed the direction of my life.
What accelerated the process for me is the live interactions, where I had the chance to talk to Barbara and other Barbara fans like on the resistance seminars; do you want to be a coach phone conferences; the second year of hanging out with Barbara included a phone get together and finally to fly to Germany from California to meet her in person in one of her last public appearances has been a life changing event.
I worked as an engineer for 31 years ( a better than good enough job.) and did my passion of Dream Inc “helping people achieve their dreams” with family, friends and coworkers. Even any person, on a train, boat, or plane that would engage me in conversation would get my normal comment when the topic of what do I do came up. I said that I traveled all over the world but that my favorite place was Hawaii. In my work, I was there over two dozen times and I lived in Waikiki for a year, coincidently that was in 1985 when I read Wishcraft. Then, if they said “I have always wanted to go to Hawaii someday”. I would say “then, why don’t you go” Thus, would begin the Dream Inc dialogue.
My wish is to be able to talk with fellow scanners on Skype or by phone. I hate posting and typing confusing messages which could be said 10 times faster vocally and you can hear a chuckle, a strain in someone’s voice, a tear, maybe for many of you writing is what you like. I have done this for 2 years and I know that Barbara says we should minimize what we don’t enjoy doing and maximize what we do love. I have been told by a friend in other circles that “I have a “calling” for calling. ( on the phone). I love it. So if any of you can come up with some way to do these things more vocally and less “texting like”. I would appreciate it.
Jim Chandler
Since you prefer the spoken word, would Skype not be a good software package? I’m kinda the opposite. Especially at first meeting someone, I prefer the protection of email. Interesting. Best
David,
Thank you for your comment, I am not suggesting that every should h have to talk. Obviously, many people do like this method and there is good reason to be cautious. However, I am suggesting that for me to enjoy and benefit more from and more be able participate. This was just my wish and I am looking for ways to deal with the obstacles. Very similar to the way that people have looked for ways to help people that are deaf. I am a very audio person in my learning style, that being said, I again just appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me.
Sincerely,
Jim Chandler
Hey Jim: what exactly is the obstacle? and what have you tried already? Is there something like meet-up for telephone? If not, someone should invent it! 🙂 Or would meetings in person (for example through meet-up) be also ok? Maybe you could offer to give a talk about scannerdom somewhere and then talk to people afterwards. Or about some topic (or rather combination of topics) which attract scanners. You have experienced so much! There was the idea in hanging out about doing “soirees” (or sth like that). Or maybe there is some scanner meet-up somewhere near you (I think that this topic is getting more attention lately) where you can go and chat to people: then you wouldn’t have to organize the meeting yourself. Or go to talks about scanner-friendly topics or given by prominent people you have identified as scanners: they might attract the right people and then you can mingle and have your fun. I was just thinking of interdisciplinary research centers where philosophers, neuroscientists, linguists etc. for example get together. They have sometimes talks or events for the broad public which are probably scanner friendly. This brings me to webinars & co. Maybe you could offer webinars? Or visit courses like at coursera? I have no idea if they include phone interaction but maybe it is worth it to take a look.
Sorry if many or all of the ideas above don’t fit very well what you are looking for. I was just letting my mind wander.
I think someone ran scanner meet up soirees in London for a long while and they had different guest speakers each time. Why not offer something similar and then follow with a discussion or Q&A with participants afterwards? Could be fun and social!
Looking for best practice and great life!
That’s a very cryptic statement Theresa. Best practice in what? And what does a great life for you look like? What do you need to make your life great that you don’t have already?
I wish I could work independently here in Berlin (Germany), however, my business model for this is still quite fuzzy and my self esteem (courage) appears to be rather low, currently.
What do you suggest to do?
Thanks for your ideas and impulses.
Matthew
Hi,
Please know, you can do whatever you set out to do. If I think I can, I can. If I think I can’t, guess what?
If your plan is fuzzy. Try breaking it down into small steps. Write it all down. Discuss with a friend. This will solidify your plan as well. Perhaps you can be accountable to your friend. By a certain day you will implement step one. Then by another day, you implement step two. And so forth.
As you do each step, your confidence will increase. You will be able to share with others how you did it and how you took the steps after breaking it down. This will build your confidence as well. Your friends will see your successes and praise you for your success. You will become a confident and successful entrepreneur!!
It’s up to you. Only you can make it happen and you can!
All the very best! Go for it.
yes Lorraine, thanks a lot for a feedback that supports to activities I am about to do: a. work with my beliefs (which are rather dragging me down? which are helpful and need to be stressed more in the future?), b. come up with specific activities that drive me more towards my dreams and visions.
It is great to receive virtual support here.
We all have to thank Barbara a great deal for having provided this forum!
I would suggest that you design the smallest and easiest unit you can imagine that contains the core of what you want to do (meaning the part that you like) and that you try it at first with friends. That will give you the motivation to get started. Ask them to give you feedback (especially what they like, that will give you courage) and build upon that to design the next step, which is just a small step forward. And so, little by little, construct your bridge to the future.
Hi Matthew. I suggest you start with the most simple of business models, which is really answering two questions:
1) what can I sell? It could be a thing, a service or a performance.
2) how can I get someone to buy it?
If you’re a scanner there might be lots of answers to both questions, so start by picking something fairly small and relatively easy for you to do. If you can’t decide between several possibilities, tell us about them and we’ll try to help you some more.
My wish is to be a Muse for prominent people who are already accomplished A type living in their heads and yet want inspiration to reach their dream of doing something to make a difference and leave a legacy. I wish to work with very wealthy people who have the ability to change many lives when they open their hearts and senses. I WISH to travel the world inspiring and guiding geniuses to live their authentic lives and make their dreams come true. I wish to be very selective in whom I choose to work with. I wish to be inspiring because I play and have retained my childlike qualities. I WISH to be paid extremely well. I wish to build my clientele base to where I have clients on waiting list. I WISH to work with a few people who will make a huge change on the planet and not work with the masses. I WISH to work with a partner and then open a certified program for Muses. I wish to have many muses that we match up with clients around the world.
OBSTACLES
I live in a very rural town where the mean income is well fare.
Surrounded by possibly one or two people in this community that could be potential clients.
My money is not at a place where I can place adds in magazines to attract clients.
My clients generally do not have a social media presence
Because most of my clients will want a non disclosure agreement they generally don’t do referrals or testimonials
Building credibility so some of the concierge or luxury lifestyle companies would partner and refer us out to their clients and how to make contact with them.
What to include on a website to make it attractive to our client and yet keep it very mysterious and personalized
Do I need to develop rates or allow my abundance to come by allowing them to set the fee ask for gifts
Keeping motivated to keep going even though the clients aren’t here now because I have attracted them here and there in the past and then I stop for some reason
I am not consistent I know this is my souls journey because it uses all my gifts and I get scared to really play full out and build the life I feel I am called to
Thank you Barbara and all those who choose to assist me with my wishes and calling
Your wish sounds fun! Maybe one possibility is to approach those people indirectly (like through some kind of assistance job) and then once you are “inside” to let them experience the kind of muse you are or want to become. I guess they could recommend you to their friends who are also prominents (I cannot imagine that you would be “hired” other than by word of mouth anyway).
There is also the idea of moderating a kind of success team where you offer prominents to meet other prominents and you are there in the background. It could be virtual. No idea how you get it organized but I think Jack Canfield recommends this idea in his book “success principles”. The atractivity at first doesn’t come through you but through the other prominent guests. Then you could “show off” your talent and build upon that.
What about getting some kind of job (or to volunteer) in a place that organizes talks by prominents? This way you would get many contacts!
Erica,
I apologize for the late reply. For some reason I haven’t been getting your replies via email…must be going to junk. Anyway, congrats on the new job! That is awesome. I’m so happy for you!
Thank you for all the links. I will check them all out today. You’ve been so helpful!
Jane