How Does the Online Idea Party Work?
You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)
The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.
Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:
Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital
I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store
Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!
And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.
(Your first comment below has to be approved, so it may not display instantly depending on the time of the day. Once your email address is approved you can post instantly. If you want your own profile photo to show up beside your comments, instead of the cute little design, upload your photo on Gravatar.com and give them an hour or so to make it happen.)
So I posted a problem here before which was not having a desk space to work on in my very small house and somebody posted a really good idea of getting a big tray or board and having sort of a movable desktop that I could move from room to room and work anywhere. Thank you so much to whomever it was that suggested it – I can’t find my original post – but I took your idea one step further and ordered a small workstation on wheels and I move it from room to room. I LOVE it and it is exactly what I needed! I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. It felt like it was that one thing – that magical thing that I knew that if I just had it that I’d be able to get started on my dreams of writing and eventually get back into acting. I’d have my last “tool” and I’d get in the zone. And so finally I have the desk and it is all set up and like I said I totally love it. However I still have a problem. I still have a paralyzing fear of starting to work on my dreams. I make a start and am in the zone for a day and then I get scared and run away. And I am only in the zone like one or two days a month. And I can’t seem to just pick up where I left off. I get caught up in the planning. Or the organizing. Or figuring out where I stopped last time. Or I get stumped by a problem and in frustration say what’s the use and give up. So it wasn’t the lack of desk after all. It’s just me and fear. My problem isn’t in the physical. It’s in the realm of the mental. I really really really need to conquer this fear. Or ignore it. Or feel it and have a freak out or a melt down and then get onto to business. Whatever will work to get beyond it. Because I know, I just know, that if I can not let fear stop me that I can be really really brilliant. I know that sounds so totally narcissistic, but I truly believe I can make some seriously awesome stuff. And even if I am wrong and it all sucks there is still the lingering pain of not doing it. Maybe some of you have experienced this as well – that not creating things – writing, painting, clothing designing, whatever your art is – when you are NOT creating it well it’s downright painful. Seriously painful. And sad and depressing. And when you ARE creating it – even if it isn’t any good – you feel healthy. And alive. And when you go for long periods at a time not doing it you get depressed. And your chest hurts. And you feel totally dead inside. Wow – I just re-read this and I sound like a total wack job, but I actually feel physical effects when I have all these ideas inside of me and I don’t let myself let them out. It is like letting them out is cathartic and keeping them in is cancerous. So for the sake of my health and sanity I need to get over this fear and vomit out all of my creations be they good or bad. Any ideas, Idea Party people? Does anyone else have the same pain as me? Has anyone had this super paralyzing fear of even getting started and found a way or ways to overcome it? If you did please oh please tell me how.
It’s called resistance. Barbara’s doing several telephone workshops on it soon. Look under “Courses” above. (http://barbarasclub.com/courses/ )
Perfect timing!
Thanks Jennifer! Yes I remember reading about resistance in Wishcraft. Ugh – I have so much of it. I also got an email about Barbara’s phone workshops. Yes totally great timing, isn’t it? I am going to see if I can get the hubby to be home with the kids during the Sept 14th workshop so I can have some privacy and if so I will sign up. Or if not then the later one. Thanks again!
I just signed up for the September 14th workshop! Yay!!!!
Dear dtg: Great! You’ll learn a lot! So glad you signed up.
I 3rd that Yay!
Dear dtg:
Yes, you betcha! You are not being a total “wack job” but you are describing the pain of not creating very, very eloquently! I am a musician–that’s my art form. And I suffer the same way. I am SO GLAD you had the courage to describe this so well. As to how to overcome it, Barbara just covered this in her latest resistance seminar on August 31. I know, now, what ‘s stopping me. I’m a classical musician–at least so far. A violist. And a sometime violinist. And I’ve played the harp a bit. Now, I know what the trouble is. I haven’t rooted it out yet, but now I know what the trouble is. I was highly talented, and became a Music major. On viola. And then, once a week, I had to go to the music studio of an absolutely tyrannical viola teacher for my private lesson “recital.” These sessions were AWFUL! He never taught me a thing! He would sit there and pound the rhythm out on the piano. And by God, you had better keep up. Or Else! On the second or third week of playing the same thing, he would intone, “That is much improved!” and then assign something even harder. There were pieces with impossible chords which made my knuckles hurt; it hurt because I had to contort my hand and fingers into such impossible positions trying to play them. There were horrible bowing patterns that he invented, which were not written on the page, and therefore were very confusing. All my life, I had been getting straight A’s in music in school, ever since 4th grade, but not with him, never! I absolutely dreaded walking into his studio. One day, la piece de resistance came. I had a huge load of books, my violin, and my viola, and I was on my way to my dreaded “lesson.” Because of the load I was carrying, I rode the elevator down from the main floor of the Music Building, instead of taking the stairs. When I got off the elevator, I could hear this same professor, all the way down the corridor, screaming and cursing at another viola student who was in “the torture chamber” for his “lesson.” Good God! God Help me!! And to think that I had to go in there next! The poor young man came stumbling out, and I went quaking and quivering in.
Nowadays, there wouldn’t have been any going in. I am much wiser, more courageous, and assertive than I was when I was 18. Or, for that matter, 20. Instead, I would have turned on my heel, books, musical instruments, and all, and gone straight back upstairs to the dean’s office, and would have immediately reported what had just happened. And then have been courageous enough through all the denials and weird avoidance trips, and manipulations to stand my ground, even if it meant getting kicked out of the Music School. But it’s useless to deal with could have’s, should have’s, and would have’s. That was then, and I was a very superobedient, shy, mousy person then. So I entered the torture trap for my “lesson.” Quaking with dread.
A short time later, I walked out the basement door of the Music School one rainy Friday afternoon, and I never looked back. By the following Monday morning, I was an English major instead, and I graduated with a B.A. in English.
After quitting the Music School, I was back in the building one afternoon; it was late, about 4:30, and the there were only 3 people in the corridor–me, a Music Theory professor, and Mr. Tyrant, who was walking with him and talking to him amicably. I was coming towards the two of them. I said, “Hello, professor ___________ and professor __________________.” They did nothing but raise their chins and their noses in the air and walk on by without a reply!
Then, I heard the Music Theory professor ask Mr. Tyrant, “Who was that?” Mr. Tyrant replied, “Oh, she was a very talented violist who withdrew from the Music School. I really don’t have any idea why she withdrew–she was such a talented musician!”
I wanted to scream and rant and rage and cry and weep and curse at him in front of his colleague, but of course, all I did was to go stumbling off down the hall, wretching and bawling, silently, so they wouldn’t hear me.
Now, who are/were your worst critics? Who maimed and bludgeoned you? Shy behavior like this, basically being afraid to crawl out from under our respective rocks and create, isn’t inborn. It’s acquired. We who have been maimed, bludgeoned, terrorized, and almost criticized to death, or who fear this, have to learn to stand up on our hind legs, grow fangs and claws, and ROAR! At the ones who destroyed us. Or who tried to. My viola, especially, and also to a strong degree, my violin, went away in their cases for 40 years and didn’t come out again, except on extremely rare occasions, until I got involved in Barbara’s HO group about a year and a half ago, or so. (May of last year.) Now, they do come out, but still not often enough. I have yet to roar at Mr. Tyrant. I need to spend an afternoon at it. There were some times during those awful years when I wanted to throw my viola in the fireplace when it was going. Or bash it to death on a tree. I’m glad I never did these things. I still need to roar at Mr. Tyrant, and have some serious tree bashing to do, while wearing protective padded gloves and safety goggles. I’ll have to go out in the woods, far from people, to do it, or they’ll think I’m a bear, and it’s hunting season!
My thesis is this: You didn’t get like this by magic or by some character flaw. It was Ground In. Acquired, somehow. I think it is very important for those of us who are artists to acknowledge it, say it, and own it, and then go do what we need to go do to our Tyrants. Safely, of course, without landing ourselves in jail!
Wow – what a great story! I’ve had a few teachers like that myself. Mostly math teachers. It didn’t help that I hated math either…
I’m chuckling, because not only do I hate math, but I’m no good at it, because of a serious learning disorder called dyscalculia. In my day, in school, it was unknown. But it was certainly the subject of much anguish, at home and in school, as I struggled with math, all the way through!
OMG – I always tell people I have a math learning disability which I call mathlexia. It might not be an actual disability – I might just really really suck at math but an example of my problem is say I have a double digit number and I am adding it to a another double digit number. I add the first column and get the answer. I go to the next column and figure out the answer but by the time I figure it out I’ve forgotten the answer to the first column.
Dear dtg,
I am replying here right beneath my own post, because there’s no reply button below yours. The math problems you are experiencing is probably dyscalculia, which is the term used to describe “mathlexia.” It is a real learning disorder, and it can be a great hindrance to life. How do I know? I have it. When I was in grad school, I made a promise to get tested by a psychologist (someone with a PhD who is specially trained and qualified to do psychological testing), and he found out what I had suspected all along–that I not only have dyscalculia, but 2 other serious learning disorders. My brain won’t go past 6th grade arithmetic, and anything past 3rd grade arithmetic, it struggles. The only way to find out is to find one of these people and get psychologically tested. I have no idea what the testing would cost–probably expensive. I got it done for free because I was in school. It can be debilitating–there are a couple of grad schools I would like to get into for a second master’s degree, an MBA, and I now know I’m not getting into them, because I know that there is such huge and complex math in the entrance exams that I would never in the world pass them. My brain won’t go there. I think it is good to know these things, because there are federal laws about discriminating against anyone with a disability, including a learning disability. It doesn’t just include physical disabilities. And reasonable accommodation has to be made, in the workplace and in academia. So I think it’s well worth looking into. Good luck!
Thanks Mary Ann. I just might look into getting tested. I never thought about the discrimination law angle. Plus it can save face a lot more when I have issues doing math in front of people and am embarrassed about it. And well – it could just make me feel better to know that I really DO have a problem. 🙂 BTW – I also can’t reply under your other post so I am posting here. Thanks again!
dtg said, “I add the first column and get the answer. I go to the next column and figure out the answer but by the time I figure it out I’ve forgotten the answer to the first column.”
You’re not supposed to remember it. You’re supposed to write it down like this:
http://www.mathsisfun.com/numbers/addition-column.html
(click the play buttons on the examples).
I was taught to carry over the tens below the bottom line instead of at the top, but it works out the same.
I suspect a lot of people think they suck at maths because they missed out on learning the fundamentals properly. Maybe they missed an important lesson due to absence, or had a bad or scary teacher. I remember one year when our teacher was a lovely French woman with a kindly twinkle in her eye, and I started enjoying maths and being quite good at it, especially algebra and calculus. But that all stopped the next year when they switched us back to the same old dragon who liked to make girls cry.
And I know that some people are whizzes at doing calculations in their heads, but maybe you’re making the mistake of confusing those kind of mental arithmetic skills with mathematical ability. I found out that they are not the same thing when I worked as a Saturday girl in a Woolworths shop in England. It was way back before self-service and automatic tills, and the money was still in pounds shillings and pence, and we had to stand behind the counter all day and add it all up in our heads.
I wasn’t much good at it, even though I was doing quite advanced maths at school. The regular shop girls, who did it every day, were much better at it than us grammar school girls, who were supposed to be so clever, and they weren’t shy about letting us know how superior they felt.
Welcome to Scanner Land. It was scary for me, at first. But Barbara recently reminded us that there will be time to do it all. Liberating to think about. No need to feel trapped any more.
I’ve written a novel, and have a literary and intelligent friend willing to read it and give me feedback. I have to send it to him, which I will do, but I’m anxious about it, and think I’m procrastinating a little. Several other people have read it in earlier incarnations, and I know it has both potential and flaws. And I have another novel part-way finished waiting for attention when I send this one off. I guess my issue is getting to work each day on writing, and getting stuff out. And somehow finding a way around/through my way of avoiding writing and submitting work. I create unnecessary disorder in my workspace, so that I have to deal with that instead of the writing or I get caught up in some kind of mental chaos. Meditation is good for me, but it’s still hard for me not to feel like I’m doing that instead of writing. I was thinking this morning that some kind of good app or community to help me settle down each day would help, and I ended up here. Thank you all.
Sounds to me like what is needed is to create some accountability here, so that you will have to report in weekly to a group that cares about your progress. Is there one of Barbara’s Success Teams in your area that you can join? These are life-changing, believe me, and are very good for this sort of thing. Is there any other way you can set up a support group similar? Or even a creative buddy? It helps when you have to report in to someone on a weekly basis about progress. Then stuff gets done!
Hi I’m Clare and I’m a scanner. Proud of it. It is freeing to finally know what I am, liberating, a little scary. I have so many interests and ideas, but somehow there is always reality and I need to work out how I can get out of a job I HATE and into a creative life that I LOVE.
Hmmmm . . . where is your free time? Can any time be freed up from this hated job to do some job hunting? Barbara has a book out called the Idea Book. Available, as of yesterday, on Amazon for $5.25 used, plus $3.99 shipping. It’s jam-packed with ideas about how to make money doing all sorts of things, from the mundane to the slightly wacky, and none of them are poisonous, as far as I know. What she calls “a good enough job” is a survival job that doesn’t load you down with so many hours that you have no time to even wiggle sideways, has no conditions or people that are poisonous, and that you can do reasonably well. This is so individual of a choice that I won’t list any types of jobs. But I think the Idea Book would be a good place to start, because before any successful job hunt, you have to get a grip on what sort of job you’re looking for. Not just any old job.
Hi Clare! Welcome. If you could join Hanging Out, you might benefit from Barbara’s wisdom on how to live a creative life without having to overturn your entire life first.
I’m wondering if there’s any way for you to practice creativity in your job? I’ve worked in many many jobs that didn’t intend for me to use any creativity, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t if I wanted to. I’m not sure if, when you say “creative” you mean artistic or if you mean being imaginative and original. If it’s the former, you’re right, it isn’t easy to make art in any job. But if you mean the latter, then you can always practice creativity, even if you’re a dishwasher. There are opportunities to innovate within the parametres of most jobs to create better, faster, cheaper, or bigger results. Even if you offer your ideas and your employer or manager shoots them down, you can still think of them while you’re doing the job, imagining how things could be improved, figuring out how to make the process or workflow less painful, perhaps, figuring out how to finish your work faster so you can have more free time to innovate. Perhaps that’s just a symptom of my own character that I can’t help innovating, looking for better solutions to everything, and admiring really well-designed solutions.
I don’t know what it’s like to have a job you hate, so you’d have to be more specific about why you hate it so much. Even the worst job I ever had (selling Canadian lottery ticket shares to Americans over the phone) offered the opportunity for me to learn something interesting: how to distinguish the various accents of the southern states. I purposely picked call sheets from the south-east so I could talk to all these people and listen for the speech pattern differences from Virginia to Texas. I was just starting to get an ear for it when the supervisor realised how crappy a salesperson I was—despite spending, on average, more time talking with prospects than anyone else—and moved me to the mail room. I actually made more money in the mail room, so it was better financially, and there was more socialising with the other workers, one of whom was a gothy art chick I became friends with and learned some interesting things about the local art scene.
I find as a Scanner, there’s not much I can’t take away from even the crappiest menial jobs. There are always things I didn’t know already and people who know interesting things I don’t.
What kinds of creative things do you enjoy, Clare? What does your creative life look like?
Hi,
Please don’t post this. I just want to understand if this is open for everybody or I need to be a member of the Hanging Out program.
Thank you
This is open for everybody, Rosana.
I’m a scanner of the most misunderstood type! I’m a High Speed Indecisive,and so I’m jumping on here to participate and give and get some help finally!
I love “finding gold” of course,and need some advise on ways to bring in income perhaps helping people chose a pet,and how to start cartooning,with a goal of producing income from it ASAP,in perhaps a goal of publishing in dog and cat magazines,with a particular breed,or breeds(multiple) focus.
I love antiquing,and want to move ASAP to a community I’ve chosen (Kettering,Ohio) where I can have access to better work opportunities and quality of life. I’m wanting it to be open to me rescuing pets to rehome,and have people who are smart who own the property that would allow that. I’m done with dumb people who don’t get me.
Can you possibly go to work for a pet rescue shelter and get some juice out of that situation? We even have horse rescue places here in New Mexico. And several pet rescue places within a 50-mile radius of here. I worked in a pet store for awhile and helped people choose pets. The same thing happens at a pet rescue center, or animal shelter. They’re always running full-page ads in the paper, showing the cutest pets, and encouraging people to adopt pets. They work all the time to “re-home” them, as you say, and they have a policy where they don’t euthanize pets, ever. They work to re-home them instead. I’m sure such place(s) must exist in Ohio.
Hi Alan,
2014 edition of What color Is Your parachute is out. It’s a brand new book every year.The answers are in there as to how to go about your job hunt!
Hi Jennifer, I love your suggestions . It means a lot to me. I am going to try all of them and post my progress . I just singed up less than a hour ago and am amazed how fast I am getting help. I am looking forward to help someone with their dreams. looking forward to everyones ideas and suggestions. Thank you so much.
🙂
I have a dream to work for a modular home company. These are the companies which make a prefab factory build homes. I only know 1 company near my city about 1 hour away driving in Northern California. They are few other ones but in southern california and the closest is 4 hours away from my city ( which are not as good as the one near my city). I like to be involve to bringing these type of homes to mass market. I have applied 3 times for three Sales positions in this company for Sales and got no respond back. I have visited the company and the factory where they build their home. I don’t know what to do getting my foot to the door. I am 43 years old , educated ( BA in business and management) over 5 years of experience in Real Estate and Mortgage business, and 15 years of experience in Sales and Marketing. I don’t waste time any more do jobs that kind of related to this business , I want start working on this industry now. The only things I don’t want to do is to move. Any ideas how can i get a job with my local companies? is my dream and is the only thing i think of when i get up every morning. Thank you.
Alan,
Have you considered joining a Modular Home Association for the purpose of networking? A quick search on Google yields:
http://www.modularhousing.com/index.html and
http://www.manufacturedhousing.org/default.asp
There may be others near to you in CA. Joining a group that has the same interests as you and perhaps volunteering is a good way to meet people who may ultimately help you.
A second thought is to do a people search on http://www.LinkedIn.com for people who work in the company that you would like to join. See what groups they belong to, and join those. Then perhaps you can do some research and pose an interesting question, or write an interesting article –
to get your name out there, and let people know of your passion.
Finally, there are numerous free websites (like weebly.com) and blogging websites where you could begin writing about all the cool things that this industry does, and what it means to you.
Then add the blogsite and the LinkedIn groups to your resume.
Go to their tradeshows. Ask questions, take people to lunch, follow up with emails telling them how much you enjoyed their speech, or your time together. DON’T ASK FOR A JOB. Just be enthusiastic and sincerely interested.
Doors will open. “If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck…” After a while you’ll just belong and people will remember you and want to help you.
Good luck and keep us posted!
BTW, I just did a Google search and found nine “modular prefab homes” companies in CA:
https://maps.google.com/maps?q=modular+prefab+homes+california&ie=UTF-8&ei=e6ESUt_1KMjwiwKjqID4DQ&ved=0CAoQ_AUoAg
Maybe there’s one or two new to you that you could apply to?
(After doing all of the above, of course!)
🙂
Great advice, Jennifer. I second this.
Yes to: Get into the webosphere and start blogging and hanging out at related forums. Develop a reputation for knowing a lot about the industry. Send links back to the company’s website. Plug them whenever you can.
Do you live in a prefab home? Blog about it! Show photos of what you’ve done with your place.
I’d also add, does this company have a website? Twitter feed? Facebook feed? Do you follow them? Do you retweet or respond to their messages and updates? If you don’t already, start doing so. Stalk them! I mean in a friendly and uncreepy way. haha.
“Like” and “Share” their posts.
Send interesting and relevant news back to them.
Ask them questions about their products.
Send them ideas.
Try to be helpful, but not pushy about it, and like Jennifer advised: DON’T ASK FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN.
If you’re being really helpful and have lots of valuable ideas and information to pass along, they should respond by following you, too, and perhaps asking you some questions back. Work towards being a prefab home evangelist online and they’ll soon want to hook up with you.
Well, that’s how I’d approach it. That is how I’m approaching it with a company I’m interested in working with. It doesn’t happen overnight. Which is why I’m still at my Good Enough job.
I don’t know if this is weird but I have heard of companies popping up selling though modular repurposed shipping container homes. I love those homes! What a wonder idea for affordable housing. Maybe take a look at alternative building solutions too?
I am in Canada and I hope your members are from all of the world.
They are, Hassan.