Barbara Sher’s Idea Party

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How Does the Online Idea Party Work?

You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)

The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.

Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:

Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital

I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store

Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!

And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.

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4,554 thoughts on “Barbara Sher’s Idea Party

      • Take short detours from your work to do something you really enjoy a lot. Keep an open box near your feet and whenever you wish you could do something else, something that’s not investments, at a time when you must continue to work, write down what you’d love to do on a card and toss it into the box. It’s called a ‘Lost and Found for wishes, dreams and happy distractions.’ When you need a detour, bend down and search the cards until you find one that makes you smile. Do that for an hour, a day, however much time you can. Then return to your plan.

    • Alix,
      Are you sure that’s what you want to do? “concentration’, ‘on a path’…..not hearing a lot of joy- passion in that….maybe there is. Just curious….
      I ‘ get’ the boredom thing. Struggle with that myself.
      I Like the ‘wishes box’ idea. Also, I’ve found that combining interesting tasks with boring ones helps. i.e. organizing office- boring. Interesting- listening to my previously recorded interviews. So the interesting ‘trumps’ the boring….but the boring gets done…(:

  1. Hi Lauren, I find your dream pretty clear on what you want to do with your life. Most people do have questions and trubles regarding money. As Robert Kyiosaki would say: “That’s something they don’t teach in school.” I recommend you check out the RichDadWorld.com for free financial education. Like you say, you don’t want to look back in 10 years and wish you’d gotten started earlier. Good luck.

    • Thanks for the tip! I will check out that website.

      I guess my main fear is that I will change my mind and find a new dream but be stuck with this big undertaking. I know it will be a struggle to balance taking it slow to make sure it’s what I want with not really doing anything at all.

      In the past I have wanted to go back to grad school and it’s scary to abandon that dream, even though I think I have decided it’s probably not what I want/need.

      How do you go forward with a big dream if you can’t be sure your future self will still want it?

      • Don’t worry Lauren, most likely your dream will ‘morph’. I’ve spent 7 yrs working on a radio show that I thought I was going to turn into a wonderful book! Well, while browsing through a used book store recently I found such a book ( (radio interviews with well known people) and guess what. It was kinda boring…. So now I don’t aspire to do that after all- but there are other exciting things and I don’t regret what I’ve done ‘towards’ the dream so far a bit!

      • Lauren,

        I love that you’re reaching out to people to get more ideas. That’s such a sensible approach and so in line with Barbara’s philosophy: “Isolation is the dream killer.”

        And how wonderful to already connect with someone here who has done the very same thing!

        Which leads me to wonder – wouldn’t it be a great idea to find a group of people like that who could give you advice, mentor you, and perhaps let you work with / for some of them to get a preview of what it would be like? I suspect the scanner in you would be happy to gather such a wealth of knowledge! There must be an association of Bed and Breakfast owners or Retreat owners that you could join!

        And, as far as passion goes, I’m 64 years old and have found that most of my dreams came true by doing a little something every day, even on days when I was in a lousy mood and felt far from passionate. Just showing up every day, day after day and plodding forward got me there – sometimes in surprising ways.

        Of course I also believe in the values of reading, researching, networking, being generous, curious and thankful, too.

        So hang in there. And find out as much as you can.

        Barbara always says there’s no dream you can’t have – not the part(s) that are really important to you.

        Best of luck!

    • Hi Lauren, What I’ve found out is that you need to have PASSION for your dream, it gives you energy to go on. Here’s something that I think can help you, quoted from The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John Maxwell: “I come across a piece called ‘Dream Big’… captures what it takes to follow your dreams.
      ‘If there were ever a time to dare,
      To make a difference,
      To embark on something worth doing,
      It is now.
      Not for any grand cause, necessarily-
      But for something that tugs at your heart,
      Something that’s your aspiration,
      Something that’s your dream.
      You owe it to yourself to make your days here count.
      Have fun.
      Dig deep.
      Stretch.
      Dream big.
      Know, though, that things worth doing seldom come easy.
      There will be good days.
      And there will be bad days.
      There will be times when you want to turn around,
      Pack it up, and call it quits.
      Those times tell you that you are pushing yourself,
      That you are not afraid to learn by trying.’
      Taking the steps necessary to live your dreams and do what you want to do will cost you. You will have to work hard. You will have to make sacrifices. You will have to keep learning and growing and changing. Are you willing to pay that price? I certainly hope you are. But know this: Most people aren’t.

      I strongly recommend you take the time to learn and grown WHILE you go forward with your passion for a dream.

  2. I am 25 years old and at a turning point in my life. I have every possibility before me and I am constrained only by my student loans (and general lack of money) and the fact that my husband is entering grad school in Seattle so we’ll be there for at least 2 years (though we will more than likely settle down there).

    My dream is to own and operate a “retreat center/urban farm/community school/bed & breakfast/whatever” fairly close to an urban area. I would need a fairly large piece of land with multiple buildings on it and the ability to renovate said buildings or build new ones.

    My challenge is (obviously) that I don’t have enough money by a long, long shot to purchase land and that it’s a humongous undertaking that would take a huge amount of energy and time and it would basically become my whole life. Which then begs the question: what if I change my mind?

    I am starting small to see if I would be happy long-term with such a venture, so I am going to start holding “soirees” at my house and inviting my friends, family and community to learn something new from a guest speaker once a month or so.

    I am also considering making an outbuilding at our home into a guest bedroom and listing it on Airbnb.com. These seem like reasonable steps, but then I know I’m going to hit the wall of reality.

    I am definitely a Scanner and starting something new is exactly what I need- but the follow-through is scary. I don’t want to look back in 10 years and wish I’d gotten started earlier.

    I’m looking for any suggestions, words of encouragement/discouragement, bright ideas, etc. Let ‘er rip!

    • That sounds like a really good first step to test the waters Lauren. I have such a retreat center and it is growing with a life of its own now. Started by myself and partner who passed away, it has morphed quite a bit. As I stay open to these changes and love the new possibilities, it seems to feel right. You can’t go too slow in growing something like this, in my experience.
      As a scanner myself, the changes keep it interesting!

      • Wow! It’s great to hear that from someone who has fulfilled a similar dream. I’d love to hear more about your retreat! Also nice to hear that it’s OK to go slow. Not usually how I operate but I guess life determines that, not me.

        • Once you feel more confident from your monthly gatherings, turn it into biweekly, then weekly, then rent a space for a 3-day or weekend retreat on the off season to hold such a paid event.
          Is it making money to pay for it self and you? If not, how would it be sustainable?
          I don’t want to scare you off your dream, but sustainable in the long term, you may need to partner up with someone wanting to do a piece of it. Husband in Grad school, and you with student loans? How do you pay as you go, besides profitability?
          Sometimes a dream is fun until it becomes work that MUST be done, because somebody has to keep that going. And that sounds like a multitude of things (I know what I’m talking about, I had a restaurant, and not enough time to list here what goes into that, all the skill sets, this would be similar.)
          Get a game plan together and let it grow organically into something more, and like minded people will come to you and may be excited to work together.

          • I think you are absolutely right about getting a partner eventually. Your idea of hosting a 3-day retreat is very enticing. That’s one of the steps between where I am now and where I want to be that I hadn’t thought of on my own!

            I have a lot of transitions happening in my life right now and I need to see where some of them lead. I will continue to have the dream and work on it, but not feel rushed and let it happen organically!

  3. I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
    Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store

  4. i’ve just recently been diagnosised with a mental health disability. my wish is to understand myself better , love myself better so as to build a life of stability. Stability means having more than enough money to own a home, a car because i live in rural canada, to meet my optimal nutritional needs, to support two wonderful doggie companions, to do each day what my health and heart deems to be the right thing to do, which means no other determined schedules like 9=5 jobs, to address my health concerns with the newest and best treatments, drugs, therapy available whereever it is in the world, to travel to wonderful places in order to enrich my daily life, to pursue my creative desire to become a reknowned film maker and to have enough ease in which to enjoy all the moments i am given in this life time with frends and family.

    • oops i forgot to put my obstacle here:
      well i currently have a couple of battles brewing..one with a disabilty claim in which i have lawyers fighting the good battle and the other a divorce which another good lawyer is battling the details for me. currently i have such uncertainty in my life at least until the two legal battles are done that i feel somewhat stymied to move forward. the other biggy too is that i continue to try to get my health into some sort of stable place in order to move forward. so my biggest obstacle right now is stability.

      • That’s a lot to go through Jane! Have you thought about finding groups you can join to get support? Remember to take time to be good to yourself. Divorce its tough! I went through one years ago. Maybe you can find some meet up groups with folks trying to build their health. Wishing you the best, and health and healing!

          • i also find that if i have something to hope around like this idea club i can still stay connected to what i want in my life while i wade through the muck

        • i wish that i could take my ideas about writing, specifically writing a blog or something on a daily basis or a colum like ann landers where i answer peoples questions about career, education job planning

          and then i wish i could design household designs for a store like ikea

          • thanks so much kris for the prompting this is great help
            well around the first one….setting up an ann landers column where people send in emails or letters to the newspaper asking specific questions….well i just dont know where to start? the other obstable is of course that i have yet to stabilize in regards to my disability…

            the second is first of all…my overall health is still a key factor finding a stability point from which to build towards these ideas…

            and the obstable is how does one get to be a designer for a store like ikea..? big obstable
            thanks again

          • Jane-
            Here’s some ideas from google (: regarding a career as an IKEA designer
            http://www.ikea.com/ms/en_US/the_ikea_story/working_at_ikea/#

            Advice columnists info
            http://www.ehow.com/how_6708304_write-advice-columns.html

            http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/books/2012/10/dear-sugar-and-the-history-of-the-advice-column.html

            Interesting info….

            I once did a Radio interview with a fellow that was largely responsible for the success of Readers Digest and many other very successful companies. He had earned many millions of dollars for these companies. He also struggled with a hidden emotional disorder during these years and said many times during the Interview with me was that what kept him going during those very busy and successful years was staying busy and the support of friends. I hope that you get all of the support that you need to get through this difficult time in your life.

  5. Wish: to make amazing pieces of different things for specific needs, like: planning avocation stations or add-ons to turn some existing piece of furniture into one, or a special apron to be used in painting (with multiple well-thought-of pockets and sockets), and also plan events, stories, music videos… Well, I’m happy as long as I get to plan things (and I’d really, really like to make my living out of that), of many different sort – give me a problem and I’ll come up with something useful for you. And somewhere there I’d also like to write a book.

    Obstacle: 1. I can’t get started, even writing things down seems impossible half of the time. When I’m home I usually get nothing done, it’s elsewhere where most of ideas come to mind easily 2. There are no certain themes in these ‘bright ideas’ I get, so it’s hard to think of any job or place I could try to apply to.

    As for my main motivators, 1. I like planning something unusual (but very useful/practical) things and 2. I love making people amazed (as a result for number 1.)

    Now, let’s have a chat! ^^

    • Hi Eija,
      I’m not sure why the pieces of your story seem to take me on a path toward special education or helping people with disAbilities find ways to solve practical problems of design and function. Can you volunteer at a classroom to see if inspiration strikes? I know music therapy, sensory exploration, art, and just learning to interact with the rest of the planet is a problem for many people that is begging for creative inputs! And yes, there is an adoring community of amazed people saying, wow, you did that?? You can give your ideas away or partner with someone to take them to the next level (i.e. royalty income!!)
      Let us know.
      So many people detest planning that I am confident someone can appreciate your talents and pay you to have fun.
      Wedding planner?
      cruise ship activity director?
      Museum curator/ exhibit design?

      BTW…try to use a cell phone with a voice recording feature and email yourself the inspiration de jour or take pix and send them to yourself.

      I don’t know if Fiverr (yup with 2 r’s) exists but something like it surely does. you can hire -for $5 -someone to transcribe your voice notes or offer your service to someone on a one time event to see if you like it.

      • I got to say that I’m stunned. I’ve never even thought of that kind of possibility! Helping people to make their living place more easy to function with would certainly give me lots of planning chances, and every single thing would end up being unique (just the way I want it!) since we’re all different and have different needs.

        Thank you for your input, Susan!

        • Have you looked into Occupational Therapy? Much of an OT’s work involves coming up with literal plans for folks with all manner of disabilities to function better on a daily basis. This includes designing products for a specific individual’s needs (like the painting apron).

    • I know nothing about this personally, but “party planner” comes to mind. Several years ago, a friend in the Washington,DC area told me about a woman there who made a very good living as a party planner. Coming up with all kinds of wonderful ideas, but to meet the practical needs of whoever is throwing the party. . . . Just something to explore. Hope it helps a bit.

      • I have thought of some event/wedding planning business, yes – I’ve already make several different plans for my wedding (although he haven’t even popped the question yet ^^) and enjoyed it greatly. I’m just a bit afraid that there isn’t much need for it in my small town (at least not for all year around).

        I also tend to have really grand plans and I’m scared to tell them to anyone since they might just think I’m some crazy woman ^^’

        Hmm… Maybe I could start small and offer myself to help in some events/projects coming up this year.

        • volunteer planning is always appreciated, and you do a good job, someone will ask you for more. Volunteer with a school, a business association, senior center, etc… and have some cards printed up and a REALISTIC Paid price for your services in case someone asks.

          for ideas of making things, try EdisonNation.com to enter a contest or two, if you find the right fit. Also http://www.quirky.com/ may connect you with others and give you an outlet.

          • Thank you Marj for those awesome links! And also for other advices. I’m starting to get excited with ideas already.

  6. just starting with this site. I need help with career direction even though I am on the threshold of the second half of my life! I have two loves, massage threrapy and teaching (children), I am fully qualified in both. problem is I can’t seem to build a career in either. I find myself doing course after course and fast running out of funds, and getting no where. I have a few hundred dollars to my name which will need to be used soon for continuing ed. Help!!!

    • Building a career and keeping up with continuing education has always been expensive and without guarantee whether you work for someone else or start your own business. In my business, you can build a career part-time. You can increase your income gradually while working at massage therapy and/or teaching and making plans for travel, retirement, and other things you would enjoy.

  7. Well,just lost my job and the money is running out,so,want to ask for help.i want to approach the”movers and the shakers “for their help in finding work(not necessarily a job!),but I chicken out.

  8. W
    Want to travel. US and Europe for now.Maybe live video broadcast Authors/Speakers and/or record in the places I travel to.
    O
    10 yr old that so far ‘hates’ traveling. Thinks a trip to Santa Barbara ( 1 HR) is a LONG way!
    House that needs lots of remodeling work and sprucing ie ‘should’ work on that for the summer…..
    money
    feels ‘frivolous’ (:

    • Used some up Barbara’s ‘break things down into steps-flow chart’ techniques for getting the “I hate to travel 10 yr old” t want to go traveling with me and look at the list he came up with!!!
      LA ZOO
      City walk
      LA
      LA live show
      Whale watching
      Medieval Times
      Disneyland
      Cruise
      Monterrey Bay Aquarium
      Santa Cruz Boardwalk
      LA Tar pits Dino Museum
      Calif. Missions
      Knotts Berry Farm
      wow! that’s a switch. I also figured out it might just be more fun to do some ‘fun’ traveling and NOT combine it with work. When I thought about it, most of the traveling he’s done so far has been when we combined it with work. No wonder he had that attitude. I will try and get some barter going for the Radio Show for tickets and stuff- but that get’s done BEFORE we go. I love this stuff- it’s truly magic!

      • well done – we all just need to take time to thoughtfully problem-solve, especially with our kids. thanks for the inspiration!

        • I just took my teen kids on a trip to Calif this past January and DIDNT combine with work, or bring my computer… and that was probably a vacation for them on its own. Didn’t take a bunch of calls in the car either, which helped. We had a good time and they enjoyed the drive as we made many stops. The drive on 101 and Hearst Castle is amazing, even for a 10 yr old, the tour is short enough and it mostly takes place outside which is gorgeous. We found great hotels on priceline with swimming pools in all price ranges and they liked that too. There is so much to find online now, it really helps with trip planning. I used Trip Advisor and Yelp mostly.
          Oh – and Lego land? Has he been to lego land? Anyway, my boys loved it when they were that age, not as cool as Disneyland of course, and nearly as expensive.

          • Thanks Marj!
            Hearst Castle is on the list. Monterrey Bay Aquarium next week. I am finding it very interesting that my obstacle to travel….’assuming my kid didn’t want to…has vanished.’ It was really more a matter of communication. Of course he wouldn’t want to travel with parents that are preoccupied with work. And yes, lego land is marvelous- we’ve been there several times and he loves it. And the funniest thing- recently he created a video with him singing and green screened the Eiffel tower in behind him. Oh and has announced he’d like to go to England for the Minecraft Conference. So my ‘kid that won’t travel obstacle’ has morphed into how can I get most of this travel bartered via the radio show….really starting to get the concept that obstacles are not really obstacles at all……
            And congrats for your trip with teens! Sounded like fun.

  9. Hi there. I have a Ph.D. in the history of religions, which is a field that is facing severe budget cuts in different countries. I am already halfway through life, and live abroad, where I am slowing creating a career as a free-lance university instructor and consultant.
    Wish: To write plays and get them produced.
    Obstacle: My mother tongue is English. The country where I live has a different national language. I speak that language, and there are three English-language theaters here, but they seem to focus on the “classics,” and I cannot write well enough in my second language. I am considering moving to one of the cities that has an English-language theater.
    Wish: To act, and otherwise be involved in the theater.
    Obstacle: I am already middle-aged, and this country has a lot of age limitations. The main place to learn acting is not in private theaters, but at the university.
    Wish: To teach.
    Obstacle: I am sick of adjunct teaching, and there are few jobs in the field — history of religions — in which I got my doctoral degree here (or elsewhere). I could move home, but at least I found a niche for work. What I want to do is somehow move into studying religion and ecology, and work with different religious communities to help them formulate an environmental doctrine and practice using their own religious resources. I am not sure I could create my own position here doing that. My idea is, say, something along the lines of the Alliance for Religion and Conservation, or an intercultural project here on “Climate Protection in Our Own Hands.”
    Wish: To have a life partner.
    Obstacle: I live in a small university town, where 1/5 of the population is between the ages of 19 and 23. I know very few people my own age.
    I guess I am unsure whether to stay in this country, where at least I have some work, or to move back state-side, where I currently have nothing, or somewhere else. Or maybe stay here, but move to a different city. Difficult, because I just got my degree a year ago, and had to move a lot between countries for the research, and here in this little town, at least I know some people. I guess I need to see about networking in these other cities, see if I can get to know people and make connections in what I want to do. But how to do anything at all in theater here remains a mystery to me.
    Well, this is quite long, and I thank anyone who has read this far!

      • Hi there, well your situation seems exciting to me even though you may feel stuck. To be a creative person living in Germany, at a time of your life where you feel compelled to pursue your dreams, what a blessing.

        I think you can find a lot of solutions through online sources and visiting larger cities occasionally in Germany that offer more of what you need, and through workshops. You could start by asking the Expat community living there for resources (http://www.expatica.com/de/main.html); find or start a Meetup group for others interested in all topics you’ve listed — and work opportunities too (http://www.meetup.com/cities/de/).

        Then there are many online sources for studying acting and writing. A dear friend of mine is studying screenwriting at UCLA though she’s located in Colorado, they have students all over the world participate in classes through video conferencing. You’ll need to search online through Google for exactly what you would like to do.

        Then if you’re interested in regularly releasing your work in the German language, you could hire a low cost outsource translation service. Good for you, go for it!

      • Dear Mehitable – you’ve had a great success here with people sharing ideas with you ! What are you thinking now? Please give the folks who are helping you out some feedback to make us want to continue the idea party!
        best
        M

    • Hello, It sounds like a unique opportunity you have there. I understand Germans pay a tax either to the Lutheran Church or maybe to the Catholic Church. Kirkenstauer I think it’s called. So I suspect there is money to work with religious communities to develop ecologic policies. Certainly more there than in the U.S. I know Germany is more “green” than we are with recycling programs and widespread refusal to allow GMO crops to be grown or imported there. You are indeed lucky to speak a second language and to live in Europe at such a unique time. I once was friends with a college classmate, Kyle Baker, who worked in Germany and later France. He got a Rotary Scholarship to study music, opera, there in 1988 and later attended school in South Carolina to
      get a degree in international business. Sadly, we lost touch. I think I did not accomplish enough or achieve. Being a professor’s son, he may have been very into the meritocrat thing. I also once had a mobility teacher who moved to Germany in the late 1980s and married her boyfriend, Wolfgang. I bet you could organize tours for Americans to visit religious communities in Germany. I know Hildagard van Bingen was recently proclaimed a saint and may be promoted now as the patroness of Germany. Her monastery is or was on an island in the Rhine, if memory serves. Americans might enjoy a religious-themed tour instead of whatever kinds of tours are offered at the present time. You might even meet Mr. Right that way. I’d come if I could afford it. I’d love to find out how blind people in Germany have it today and if the medical doctors are really as good as I have
      heard. Best of luck.

    • my two cents for the idea party: Sounds like you had a very important goal (the PhD) that you have attained, and that it drove you to arrange your life to accomplish it. Sounds like you might be in that in-between place where achieving a long-sought after goal can be anti-climatic. That might be worth asking yourself about… perhaps you are in that natural mode of creating your next goal – involving the theatre in your life.

      It also may be worth considering that all of one’s interests do _not_ have to be included in your “paid work” or a traditional job. You likely have worked very hard and, additionally, in some amount are fortunate to have built paid work in your PhD interest area. There are many of us who take paid work to make a living. The interests have to be pursued off work time. It may not be easy/possible/realistic to get paid a living wage to pursue all of your interests. I think Barbara Sher writes about this in her Scanners book – one can get a job to pay the bills, and pursue interest outside of that. Worth considering..

      Best of luck – m

    • Dear Mehitable,
      Sounds very interesting what you are doing!
      A few ideas for you-
      Perhaps you could start your own theater group? Maybe you could write the plays with the themes that you talk about. My sister in law started a group teaching middle school kids theater, they put on a play each session and she really enjoyed it.
      Could you offer some of your work in some kind of online format? Perhaps reach out to ‘Unity’ churches in the U.S. once you get your ‘climate protection in our own hands’ curriculum written. They are often open to creative ideas and new projects.
      ps- that’s sounds like a really interesting field of study- looking forward to hearing about how things go for you!

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