How Does the Online Idea Party Work?
You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)
The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.
Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:
Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital
I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store
Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!
And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.
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Hi everyone,
Just recently someone recommended me to read one of Barbara’s books which showed me for the first time how the life of scanners look. And I could relate to the cycling scanner I yhink thats what she called it.
Anyway I found it interesting when she said to find your nectar. I kind of struggle to identify what fuels me and was hoping I may find help here to learn more how I can find out what my nectar is.
I guess my wish is to know what fuels me to keep me going. To find the red thread that makes me me. My obstacle is that I just can’t seem to see it. I see parts of me here and there but dont know how to connect them. What Im good at or the thing that makes me.
Any ideas how to approach it?
Thank for your help.
Sue
Dear Sue,
Yes, here are a few ideas.
I didn’t know when I was a kid that I was a Scanner. But I do now. Back then, Barbara Sher hadn’t started publishing anything yet in those days, either. But all I knew, all too painfully well, when I was a teenager, was that I was a multi-talented, multi-interest person, but the pieces never seemed to ever fit. It was painful. I called the pieces “shards of a broken mirror,” for that is how it felt. My family loved the outdoors, and every weekend, practically, we were going to the mountains. I live in Western Washington State, and we have some of the most glorious mountains in the world, with lots of trails in them. I am also a musician, and by high school, I was an up-and-coming young prize winning violist. So let’s say, my family and I go out on the mountains for a 9 day wilderness expedition. And then, we get back to town and my viola playing stinks because I haven’t been practicing in 9 days. Shards of a broken mirror! Nothing I did ever seemed to fit together with anything else! All I felt like was an unhappy loser.
What I’ve discovered are some ways to begin to break that suffering, suffocating feeling.
This is one of Barbara Sher’s exercises. Get out a piece of notebook paper, or do this in a notebook. Number the page, on the left-hand side, 1-25. Now, for each number, write down something you like to do. These things don’t have to be major or earth shaking. They just have to be things that you like to do. 25 of them??? Yes! I don’t care if you have to write “scratching when it itches.” Put down 25 of them. I have made a shorter list of 10, and my list looks something like this: Music. Walking. Going to the mountains. Storytelling. Going to the beach.
Visiting a beautiful botanical garden. Talking on the phone to a friend.
Reading fiction. Reading children’s picture books. Making beautiful abstract drawings. That’s 10 of them. They are active things, not passive things. That’s important. So I didn’t put “Watching You Tube Videos” or “watching sports.” That doesn’t count. This is a list of you doing things. And there are more than this. Write spontaneously and just as quickly as you can, as ideas occur to you. What about the ones you already have? What are the “parts of you here and there?” Those are probably important parts.
As you go through this list, you’ll probably begin to discover patterns, or relationships between certain things. I discovered that, besides my ongoing love of nature, that I had an artistic thread running through me that I didn’t know was there before.
Right Livelihood is what you love doing, that you’re naturally talented at, that you lose track of time when you’re doing it because it’s fun, or engrossing, or both. You don’t necessarily have to get paid for it, but you’re doing it because you love it. Being a writer or a poet is one of these; being an amateur musician is another. You do it because your heart is in it.
An important piece is that we need to be actively doing things and not sitting around and watching other people do them.
There is a very powerful exercise from Barbara Sher in her book, “Wishcraft, How to Get What You Really Want.” It is the exercise in which you describe your Ideal Day. This isn’t an ideal vacation day. It’s an ideal lifestyle/work day. Imagine that you had all the money in the world and that money was no object or concern at all, and neither was talent. You had all talents and skills that you can imagine, and the money to do anything with that you could ever want.
So you start writing–this’ll take several pages in a notebook–your ideal day. In the juciest detail that you can possibly write it in. When you first open your eyes in the morning, what are the surroundings like where you are? Are you with someone? Who? What are they like? Then, you get up. Describe, in detail, what breakfast is like. And, then, getting dressed and going to work. Or do you go out at all? And does the person who you’re with? Or not? If you’re going to work, what is that like? How do you get there? Are you driving in? In what? What is the workplace like? And what sort of work is it? How does the first half of your work day proceed? (Or are you working at night instead? A torch singer in a cabaret would. So would many actors and musicians. )
What happens at your first 4-hour break–on a daytime work day, a lunch beak. What do you eat? Where do you eat? Are you meeting anyone for lunch? Who, and why? Are you collaborating on a project?What’s that? What’s the second half of your work day like? And, at quitting time, before you go home, is there any particularly luscious or yummy food that you pick up to take home for dinner? Are there wonderful things growing on your property that you can gather and bring in for dinner? What is your property, land and dwelling, like? Do you have a pet or pets? If so, what kind? What are their names? How does dinner go? What happens after dinner as you begin to wind your day down? If you have a partner, do you engage in any special things before bed? (This can be sensual, but must be kept clean!) And then, finally, you go to bed, and go to sleep. Do not spare any details.
After you’ve written all this, then go back through it and analyze this. Ask yourself, “What are the things in the Ideal Day that are essential, optional but desirable, and frills? Make 3 headings in your notebook, and list all the elements. Then, having done this, analyze it again, and ask yourself, “Of the essential elements, which ones of these are in my life already?” Some? All? None?
. . . . . Guess who has just discovered what she really wants.
The work begins to get the essential elements into your life as soon as possible. Barbara’s book for Scanners, “Refuse to Choose,” helps to show you how to put the pieces of a varied Scanner’s life together. Things like travel versus working, for instance.
I also very much believe a couple of things: That everyone of us has about half a dozen talents instead of just one or zero like we think we have. And your talents are what you’re naturally good at that you love doing. The other thing that I very much believe is that it is necessary to find your purpose. I happen to be part Native American, and we have a very longstanding tradition, going back thousands of years, called the Vision Quest. This used to just be for young men, but now, it’s for anyone, because there are so many more opportunities for women at this time. The Vision Quest is not a camping trip. It is a rigor. It takes about a year to properly prepare, and it takes the guidance of a Medicine Person, or a group that expertly and exclusively guides people on Vision Quests. The seeker goes into a remote wild area, with only enough clothing to keep warm at night and rain gear in case of a thunder storm, and their journal and some pens. And maybe bug juice. And TP. And that’s all. They won’t see another person, and they will be fasting, drinking water, but taking in no food, for up to 4 days and 4 nights. And all the time, they will be fasting and praying, and crying for
Vision. It is always about how to help the people, and never just for oneself. Very powerful and surprising things come about from Vision Quests, that you wouldn’t ever be likely to find out about otherwise. And the Vision that comes, that has to do with your Purpose, your Destiny. your Calling, your life’s work. The wisdom I hear from most Western writers is to discover your talents and then work according to those. But, in my experience and the experience of many of my ancestors, that’s all fine and good, but your Purpose may be something much, much more, entirely. These are the things I know. It is necessary to find one’s talents as a first step. And you do this by paying attention to what you love doing. And you do that by paying attention to what do you like? So, prepare for the world to begin to open up to you like a beautiful flower!
Hi Mary Ann,
Thank you for your detailed answer and tips on how to approach it. Much appreciated.
I’ve done the first exercise and listed 25 things. I list them hear and my thoughts as I still struggle a bit with it.
1. Read fiction books especially with magical content/story
2. Sewing random home decor items and learn how to do then
3. Learn new quilting techniques
4. Learn some cricut techniques
5. Eating yummy dinner (fancy or simple) eating it not cooking it lol
6. Eating sweet dessert
7. Day dreaming. I know technical not physily doing anything but I do it often and I love it. Maybe sort of meditation to me.
8. Trying to ways on how to organize myself
9. Drinking a cup of coffee
10. Walking through a beautiful tended garden (someone else created it i just walk through and admire lol)
11. Learning a language just for fun. A few phrased and words. Im not hood at it but its fun.
12. Learning about mindset and tools and test what works for me
13. Going for a walk with the dog
14. Meeting friends and chat
15. Board games ( often need so.eone else to start it but I love it once Im at it)
16. Puzzles (occasionally. Love the wooden unidragon puzzles)
17. Listening to stories from other people what they did and feel myself i to their life)
18. Sketching, doodling random things
19. Discover and test flat paints a new techniques that ive just discovered. Can’t wait to start that one lol
20. Quick and easy sewing projects with pattern or without. Pattern must be simple to follow.
21. Sleeping
22. Pet the dog and cuddle
23. Writing little journal entries
24. Taking long showers
25. Discovering the world through my daughter’s eyes
Ive adjusted a few things from my original list. And I also felt like I needed to add something that I enjoy doing with my daughter. However, I do struggle with that as its always about what we have to do and what life pulls us in to do.
3 major areas stick out to me.
1. Develop my creative outlet
2. Learning about mindset tools
3. Nature outdoors
I’m just curious if you read through them what are your thoughts? Maybe there is something I cant see?
I haven’t done the visualization exercise excise yet. As I know I can visualize myself i to anything but in real life its often a different feel.
So im careful with that. Lol
I thought I would love to be a personal assistant when I got out of school. Ive studied, worked only office jobs even though it was hard for me at times to find jobs, I traveled abroad to learn English properly even studied 2 other languages although its not easy for me. Just to finally work in that job and realizing I dont like it. Im done with it.
Could also be it was just the thrill to prove myself I can do it. Im not sure.
I tried to build up a srwing business not very successful mind you as it always felt im doing stuff I dont like.
While im writing this im wonderi g if I should just drop the monetization dn simply just explore about creativity and share that journey. Maybe through the eyes of my daughter and me. Hmmmm…. but I do have some courses already ready to go. Maybe I just keep them up??
Develop my creative outlet and learning about mindset tools that triggers something in me. But whatbif I go down the same rabit hole as with the office work? Somehow I thi k that time and energy was all wasted. Maybe it wasn’t. I did end up being able to speak and write in English fluently and now living abroad with my Australian husband (im German).
Oh I dont know…..
Dear Suzanne,
The things that immediately stick out in my reading of your list are the learning of languages, the sewing, and the sketching and drawing, and all of these stick out at me for the same reasons, which helps to shed light on things–I’m absolutely no good at any of these. It seems to me that Europeans are generally more fluent in several languages than Americans, but I think that could also be because of a greater emphasis on learning them in your academic curriculum, perhaps. Anyhow, learning another language is something that I struggle and struggle and struggle with.
I studied Latin for 6 years and then, in college, 2 years of immersion French. We were only speaking French from day one. I became so fluent that at one point, I was dreaming in French, but I always had to struggle with it. As to my sewing, I have had to spend three years in school learning how to make garments from patterns, but Yikes! I’m an absolute klutz! I’m one of these people who sticks myself with the needle 4 or 5 times trying to sew on a button, and my mending looks like chicken tracks, and usually doesn’t hold together very well. I Hate Sewing! I’m just no good at it, and would never take it up as a hobby or fun thing.
And my art? Oh, Horrors! I have no art talent whatsoever. My art hasn’t improved any since the first grade. That is why I’m a photographer instead.
So what does this prove? You’re talented in art, and I am not. You’re talented in sewing, and even speak of quilting projects, and I am absolutely no good at it whatsoever, and I hate it, to boot!
And you even mention learning languages for fun, and I can’t imagine doing such a thing. Doing it at all is such a struggle. Even when the alphabet is mostly the same. Yikes!
So what that proves is that you have talent in these three areas–and this is something which makes you unique.
And that is valuable information. When we do what we love doing, and are naturally good at, and we lose track of time when we’re doing it because it’s fun, engrossing, or both, we are engaging in our Right Livelihood, whether we are getting paid for it or not.
So those are some good clues.
My own talent list looks like this:
Musician
Writer
Storyteller (I have performed at some storytelling festivals
and have organized storytelling events and performed at open mic nights)
Public speaker–I speak on Native American beliefs and ways of life, and the Native American prophecies, and related topics.
Life coach, mentor
Psychotherapist
Photographer, specializing in wilderness scenic photography and close-ups of wildflowers.
Psychic Reader
A whole bunch of outdoor skills, from being a four-season hiker, backpacker, cross-country skiier, and mountaineer.
But your talent list is different because you are uniquely you.
I think it begins with identifying our talents. And those are the things that we love doing, not watching other people do, but doing ourselves. And we lose track of time when we’re doing it because it’s fun.
In the Ideal Day exercise, when we pretend that we have all the money in the world and that money is not a problem, then, in doing that, we’re putting the “monetization” aside, and also imagining what it would be like to be in a life that we have created that is just the way we would like it to be. Every Essential, Optional but Desirable, and Frill in there.
Studying courses . . . . hmmmm! This sounds like work to me. It sounds like a grind. Unless it’s something that I’ve always been wanting to learn–like taking a pottery class, for instance. Or learning how to weave tule mats out of reeds. Or some very advanced music studies to improve my viola or violin technique. Or some digital photography classes.
It’s what I love doing. What I have the talent for. What I want to explore. What will brighten my life.
I really don’t think there are “rabbit holes” when we’re doing what we’re talented at that we love. I don’t think anything is ever wasted. We’re always learning something. The only cautionary note is to not hang in too long at any job that is boring you to death or is a very toxic work environment. But coping with that, and getting out of it, that’s a subject for another night. Our talents are God-given, and we were born with them. It’s our destiny to express them as fully and as wonderfully as possible during the course of our lifetimes.
Once we have discovered our talents, then we work to discover our purpose. And the strange thing is, the purpose and the talents fit together like a hand in a glove, once we learn what they are and are working to express them fully.
So, take on the Ideal Day exercise, and throw precaution to the winds. Remember, money is no object, you have all the skills in the world, and you have designed your wonderful life to be just as you want it. So Go For It! And see what happens!
I want to own an acre or more of redwood forest land that I can live on and build my home and workshop grow fruit trees before I turn 18, without property taxes or utilities. I want to be off grid. My obstacle is that Im to young to buy land and I dont have enough money to do so.
Dear Azariah Sigh,
I don’t know if it varies from state to state, and I’m up here in Washington State, but around here, you have to be 21 years old in order to legally sign a contract, and that includes buying real estate. I don’t know for sure about California, but I think there’s a good chance it is the same. I bought, fixed up, and sold real estate for 10 years and also parked out raw land, and in that time, besides making a considerable amount of money at it, I learned quite a bit about real estate, which is just about as good here as anywhere, and I did this in Colorado as well as Washington State.
You are creating obstacles for yourself if you think you can own land and build on it without property taxes. However, this is a generalization, and so the proper people to investigate this with would be the county assessor’s office of the county within the state (presumably California) that you want to reside in. Once in a while, and for certain categories of people, there are tax exemptions; also tax reductions are worth investigating.
As you may imagine, fruit trees take lots of light. And you won’t find that in the depths of a redwood forest. So the land would have to come with an existing meadow or clearing for however many fruit trees you intend to have. And fruit trees take irrigation, and that takes power, generated somehow. I’m not saying it’s an impossibility, but I’m just pointing out the practical nature of things that would have to be solved if you are to have your dream the way you like it.
You will also have to provide for your water, and there are several ways you can cope with this. You can haul your water, and if you do, you are going to have to learn a method of keeping it from going green on you so that it doesn’t become polluted from being stored in its container too long. You don’t want it to become polluted with algae, for then, it is no longer drinkable, nor can the container be salvaged at that point, at least to the best of my knowledge. There is a non-toxic way to treat hauled and stored water so it won’t go green on you.
The other way is to sink a well. Most wells these days have to be drilled, and this involves the “powers that be” again, and the obtaining of permits. Any time you have a well, there is also the consideration, in case of a permanent dwelling, as to whether you are going to be permitted to have a 5 gallon sawdust bucket for a toilet, or a composting toilet (and I’ve seen some dreadful examples of these that don’t work, and the stench and the mess are unbearable!) and/or the county, or the place where your land is situated may require you to have a flush toilet and a septic system. This happened to my Dad once, when he thought he could just be off grid. The local government required him to put in a flush toilet, a septic tank, and a drain field, and he did all that work himself, building the septic tank out of concrete blocks which he cemented together. Remarkably rather like building the Egyptian pyramids, only on a miniature scale.
Some acres are long skinny acres, and with the requirements of a well and a septic system, plus road easements, for you will have to have at least a driveway onto the property, there are certain required setbacks between the well and the road, setbacks between the well and the easements, if any, and the well and the septic system. The well has to be uphill from the septic system, including the septic drain field, for obvious reasons. And the land has to pass a perk test. Setbacks vary from 25 feet to 50 feet from the well to these other things, so this makes a long skinny acre, say 50-60 feet wide and up to 100-150 feet long, unbuildable. I know some people who are living part time in a yurt on a long skinny acre like that, but it is registered with the county as recreational property and isn’t considered to be their full time address. And the lot is one of these long skinny unbuildable acres. When you go to buy land, always know where the survey markers are, and get a survey if there isn’t any. There should be one recorded with the county. You will also have to know if there are any existing easements or encroachments, and you will want title insurance to absolutely insure that there is no cloud on the title. Your land sale can’t close without a clear title. An alternative to the typical septic system and drain field is the Mound System. The disadvantage to these systems is that they don’t last more than 10 years, typically, until they blow out and “die” and then you suddenly find out that your toilet no longer flushes, one fine morning.
I would urge against mound systems entirely. They are a very poor deal.
Then, you have the very business of three more things: The business of wanting to build within a redwood forest, when people have been struggling for decades to preserve what little redwood forest is left.
I am not familiar with California state laws regarding being able to build within redwood forests; all I know is that people down there are trying to get redwood logging stopped any way they can. Your option to go ahead would be to find a place already built within redwood country that someone was trying to sell, rather than doing a fresh build, but you would then probably be looking at an existing structure without the features you want. It’s difficult to convince people to let you live permanently off grid. More and more people are doing it, but in some areas, county officials can be quite adamantinely opposed. And it will be very difficult to budge them. Particularly in an area where they are not eager, or possibly even willing, to allow a person to drop trees to clear land for a dwelling, and assorted other reasons to not have trees in certain places upon the property.
There are some other things to consider, and one of them has to do with ownership, period. And this brings up the question of citizenship. If you are a U.S. citizen, great. If not, sometimes, other countries will allow non-citizens to buy and own property, and they don’t even have to have permanent residency status. It works that way in Canada. But I don’t know what the rules, regulations, and requirements are in the U.S.
All I do know is that the climate in this country towards immigrants is much harsher than it has ever been. I’m not saying this is impossible, but be forewarned that this is something to look into thoroughly before you get to assuming that you can just by land, unless you are a U.S. citizen.
And now to the business of money. It is possible to buy and develop raw land without a lot of money. If the county or the local government is forcing you to put in a flush toilet and a septic system, then you are going to have to run water to your property, from the nearest hookup to the nearest local source, and this can be very expensive, because the cost of running the line in the ditch, and doing the ditching, is going to be extravagant. How extravagant? You’ll need to check on this, locally.
Seldom will banks or other lending institutions lend money on raw land.
You will need to be looking for a situation where the owner is carrying the contract. You work out a written contract between yourself and the seller, and you pay the seller a certain payment every month, plus interest. This happens all the time in the real estate business. In some parts of the country, it is possible to put $1,000 down and then make monthly payments. I know of a person who did this, but not in California. After that contract was generated, he could start building on his land, to his liking, and was not forced, as my Dad was, to have a flush toilet. For his toilet, he simply dug an outhouse hole, 6 feet deep, which is the typical depth, and built his outhouse around and on top of it. And skipped all the business of septic systems. And lives in an off-grid cabin. In Alaska. There are some areas up there with no property taxes, but I don’t know of any place else in the U.S. where this is the case.
So, it seems, the money is the least of your worries. Typically, a down payment on a property is going to be around 10% of the total of the asking price, and sometimes 20%. That depends on what kind of a contract you can work out with the seller.
In buying an already built place, there are many more considerations than I can go into here; all I will say is always, always, always get a home inspection when you go to buy a property with a dwelling on it, and be ready to pay any closing costs, since there will be no loans possible.
There are ways to get around being 18. The age of majority varies in certain states. You will have to begin by checking locally where you intend to live to see what they say. I know of someone who graduated from high school and immediately began doing just about what you want to do. And it was legal and successful. You will need to check locally on this, as your first step.
Lots of great, practical information there, Mary Ann. Thanks for helping Azariah.
Im looking for a piece of land 7000$ or under or someone who wants to give away their land. I dont want to make payments. I have savings. Im not worried about the other things related to building. My obstacle now is finding that land or land owners.
Dear Azairah Singh,
You might get a piece of land for $7,000 or under. I just have no idea where. A few years ago, up here in Washington State, some friends of mine (the ones who are living in a yurt) bought their long, skinny, unbuildable acre with no water on it for $35,000.
I think your best step, at this point, would be to start researching the real estate market in the actual county or counties in which you decide that you want to reside–the counties that are within redwood country. Dig around (no pun intended!) and locate sources of listings for raw land. Sometimes, great bargains can be obtained for land that is being sold for back taxes. That is land in which the owner failed to pay the taxes, and so the property has been seized and it can be had fairly cheaply that way. The taxes owed would have to be paid to clear the title, and the title has to be clear, or the sale won’t close.
The only way that I have ever heard of anyone “giving away their land” is through an inheritance. My mother died, and I got 5 pieces of property that way.
It wasn’t easy, and before I got it, everything had to go through a probate attorney. There were attorney fees to pay. But I ended up with some properties that I could do something with. Let’s face it–there are a lot of foreclosures these days and, like I’ve said, land going for back taxes too. But real estate is a valuable commodity, and you can inherit it, if you are in line to do so, or get it cheaply, but nobody is going to just “give away” their land. The best thing you can do right now is to educate yourself about the markets in the counties in which you wish to reside, and then, also visit the county courthouses of those counties, and learn what they have going for back taxes. You’ll be dealing directly with the seller, and cash deals are not unheard of. Properties, these days, are being outbid furiously–that is, as soon as a property is listed, buyers are bidding above one another to try to get the property. That’s what’s been going on. So don’t expect to offer way, way, less than the asking price. It’s time to find out what asking prices there are, and research the back taxes market, where stupendous bargains can be found. And as I have already warned, do not Ever buy anything sight unseen. You’ll need to visit the land, walk the property, get the survey, know where the survey markers are, know that there are no encroachments, know what easements (including power line easements) that might be there, and be 100% sure that the mineral rights and water rights come with the land. And that you can do what you want to do and build on it, before you put down a penny on it. You don’t want to buy a property and then find out that a gas or oil company comes and says, “We are going to start drilling for oil on your property next week!” Or, finding out that you have no water rights, including not being able to put in a well, or have the county officials telling you that you can’t build whatever you want to build or not build, or do what you want or don’t want. You want to know that you can do as you intend to before you ever put down one penny–
and these things are never guaranteed. Learn to know what the survey terms like “NE quarter of the SW quarter of Section 8, Township 16” means, and learn how to read survey maps. Everything west of the Mississippi in the U.S. is surveyed on the grid pattern of townships, ranges, and sections. Get to know all this. Buying a piece of raw land requires research. Lots of research, before hand. The place to check for “tax repo” properties are at the county courthouses of the counties where you intend to live. You will need to go there, because a lot of their records are at the courthouse. This is what I know.
I would like land in Santa Cruz, Del Norte Or Humboldt Thank you for the survey advice and rights advice. I will definitely keep that in mind. If anyone who has a piece of land like I described is reading this though dont hesitate to contact me. I may be able to get around my age by paying cash and recieving the property as a gift.
Dear Patty,
Well, when Mom died, I ended up with 5 pieces of real estate, one raw land and 2 others with houses on them, and one with a beach cabin on it, plus a 40-acre parcel that had been part of my grandpa’s homestead. (Everything west of the Mississippi is surveyed into Ranges, Townships, and Sections, in a grid pattern. East of the Mississippi, it’s all by what they call Meets and Bounds.) And on and on this went, buying, fixing, and selling real estate for the next 8 years or so. I was never an agent or a broker. You don’t have to be if you own it first. Some things I had a realtor help me sell and some things I sold myself. And I learned a whole heap. I refer to that time, between 1987 and 1995, as my “real estate tycoon” years. I never had any brothers or sisters, so I was the sole inheritor, and the properties, all except for one house, were all in a shambles. Dad had died a few years before Mom got cancer and died, so the fact that things were in pretty bad shape really wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t possibly have worked on things, the way they were.
And I’m happy to apply my knowledge whenever and wherever I can.
Mary Ann, you have lived such a full and varied life! We’re always so glad when you share what you’ve learned with folks encountering an obstacle.
This is a reply to Patty, not me. The reply button was not below Patty’s comment.
Thanks so much, Patty. This work warms my soul!
Hi everyone my name is Belén and I’m 22 years old and I’m from Spain,Valencia. Last month I discovered Barbara Sher by her TED Talk and I was really touched by her message.
The thing about my dream, is that I’m not sure what it is or maybe I lost direction, I don’t wanna tell my whole life overall because I know there’s no much to do, I’m on my own. Okay, I’ll get to the point, I’m the middle child of a family (without dad) whose mother has ELA and we don’t have anyone in the house who brings monetary support. I’m able to eat-buy food, products and clothes thanks to a university scholarship that will end this December and yeah after I get my University Degree (in January) I might be able to find a job (I’m still trying to find a job outside my studies). All my teen years I’ve been taking care of my mom and that’s why I don’t have experience in any job, so it’s more hard to find a job, besides the fact that I live in a town where you need a car if you wanna work on the city (right now I’m trying to obtain a license car).
I quite know what I love to do(I really love to do art, create designs of clothes, I also sing in soprano since I was 5 years old), but I don’t know if that is correlated to my dream, but I find it difficult to concentrate/organize since I have to take care of my mom and the house, I have little free time for me besides studying. I’ve already reached to the medical centers and organizations of ELA and no one was able to do much of a help.That’s why I think that maybe I don’t know my dream but I’d love to be independent before I’m 30, have a work that pays my needs and be able to hire someone who takes care of my mom, and if it’s possible have a house for my mom in a calm place for her.
I know I’m asking for too much, I just wanna know if what I’m thinking is too crazy to come true or if you know someone who was in a similar case and was able to endure it, or any suggestion you have, I’d love to hear about that. Thank you for reading my message!
Hi, Belén! Congratulations on making it through college with so many responsibilities at home. For those in the US, ELA is Spanish for ALS, aka Lou Gehrig’s Disease. Your mother needs a LOT of help.
And so do you. It’s very hard to dream while juggling so much, but I trust that in time, your dreams will make themselves known. Barbara talked a lot about getting a “good enough job” if you’re an artist or a singer. That’s a job that pays enough without taking all of your time and energy. It’s a “subsidy to the arts” that allows you to explore them in your free time, without needing to pay your bills from your artistic abilities immediately.
You can make lots of money as an artist, a clothing designer, or a singer, but only after you put in lots of underpaid hours. And you won’t find any spare hours for this until you and your mother have a place to live and food to eat.
Consider exploring jobs at places that understand your mother’s needs and how they affect you: rehab centers, hospitals, high end progressive care communities. Or perhaps companies that manufacture or sell healthcare devices (such sales pay better than most sales jobs).
Take advantage of your university before you leave: ask every faculty member, every advisor, and the placement office for help choosing a good-paying job with defined hours and a low to average level of stress. Ask them to help identify jobs, employers, and your top qualifications for those jobs. Most really want to help a student who asks for help.
When any interviewer asks you about work experience, be ready to tell them your roles in organizing the work of your household, providing care (childcare and home healthcare) that you’d be paid nicely for elsewhere if you weren’t needed so badly at home. You have valuable experiences, and you understand work ethic and duty and loyalty, and you have shown you can learn whatever is needed of you, which is what they’re really looking for when they ask about work experience.
When they ask you about where you see yourself in five or ten years, tell them you expect to be earning enough to provide a caretaker for your mother and a home of your own in five years and a great career with lots of room to grow and learn in ten years.
Wishing you the best. And thrilled that you’re already thinking longer term. Life offers plenty of years to do all of the things you love, including singing and designing and making sure your mother can live without your personal caretaking.
hi everyone 🙂
I picked up painting in 2020 when i was in a difficult place and i wanted to get good at something that i was objectively bad at. ive gotten so much better over the years of sporadic effort. ive started posting my art on instagram now to put it out in the world. most of my work is inspired by other artists. however, since i started posting a month ago, i have gotten so so many good ideas! i am a trekker who treks the himalayas (india) every year. one of my ideas is to paint the mountains i saw and loved and felt on the trek. i believe it would be super good and make people feel things, impacting in a positive way. i have been wanting to sell my paintings and start an art print club here in india (every month i send out an art print of my original art, a little letter from me, and maybe another small cute sticker or bookmark or something; for a small fee of INR 350). honestly, i would love some reassurance for this hehe. and if i were to really reach for it – maybe someone to help me set up a website (idk if its asking for a lot). oh! im so very glad to even put this idea out there and have people see it! i have a masters in finance (i trade indian equities for a living) so businesses have always been my thing. now combing business and art and trekking and maybe even my running and dancing at some point feels so very good to even say out loud. thanks for reading! and let me know if you want to join me in this in some way? thanks!
https://www.instagram.com/kowsalyasubbiah?igsh=Z2xtNnUwOTd2M245&utm_source=qr
my instagram
https://www.instagram.com/kowsalyasubbiah?igsh=Z2xtNnUwOTd2M245&utm_source=qr
my instagram
Hello , my wish is to run a fashion and art bussness . My obstacle is my mental health ;anhedonia and memory loss of skills i learnt in fashion school. Can i still run a successful business without feeling creative ?
Let me elaborate a little,i have been desiring to do fashion since 2015, and even went fashion school, but when i graduated i had a mental health episode that totally messed my mind and sense of identity even as a creative. I have gotten back to painting but i dont have the confidence to make anything.ideas dont come easily to me, but i still want to live my dream.
Tell us more, Christabel, about what excites you about running such a business. If you think you’d really enjoy providing an environment for and supervising other creatives, this takes you in one direction. If you can picture yourself being the person who convinces buyers to choose products from your company’s designs or to commission bespoke ones for their customers, that’s another direction. If you are hoping to restore your abilities to be the company’s principal designer, that’s a third.
For any of them, from my personal experience, your first steps should include working for a smaller company in the same space, whether that’s fashion design or home goods or some other design market. Volunteer for everything. Try things you might fail at and see what happens. Learn from every person you can in one or two companies. It’s a lot harder to get knocked off track while you’re building a business if you’ve seen the challenges we don’t see from the outside before they hit you.
Working for another business is also a very good way to start meeting all the different types of people you will need to succeed in business, whether to hire them, get referrals from them, or just to learn what to look for in your employees. Is it good to have an artsy accountant or a numbers-driven one who pushes you? Do artists make better supervisors of artists or do HR or business school grads?
Whatever you do, take it one small step at a time. I’ll be talking about this at 3:05 pm EDT at Saturday’s free Dare to Soar Telesummit, https://barbarasclub.com/telesummit/
Dear Christabel,
Years ago, I had a career as a professional symphony musician, and these days, I still play. It’s a very common thing to not feel like practicing, even if you’re trying to play when practicing as if you’re performing, and you’re doing everything to try to make performance better. A very common thing indeed! But I did it anyway, and on my most “reluctant” days, the playing, after I’d played for an hour or more, actually improved my mood.
I am a psychotherapist, so I am well aware of anhedonia, and in my own life, I have had to learn how to work to overcome anhedonia. It can be done, but isn’t easy, and involves a “layered approach” to creating good experiences. Or, for example, pulling the weeds and mowing the lawn, working hard to make it look nice, and then having a picnic with family on that same lawn, later in the day. You do the things first, and then you may feel reward because you’ve worked hard to create the right environment for the pleasurable activity to occur. The feeling of reward is experienced after all is done.
So, I think the short answer is yes, you can still run a successful business without feeling creative. I did that over and over again as a professional musician. The other thing is that Barbara said that you can pursue and achieve your goals even if you’re in a rotten mood. You don’t have to be “happy” or “believe in yourself” first in order to get to your goals. You just keep on doing it, with support, and watch what happens! I have been working with her stuff since 1987, and I have found out that this is really true. It takes putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how you feel, and the reward is felt later.
Hello all! Really all I keep thinking about day in and day out is getting fit and healthy again and traveling to new territory I have not been to before.
My Obstacles. I have children and a husband. Before I had my second I was really fit and young looking. Now I am sluggish, cranky, tired, unmotivated. I have a three year old. I noticed when I work out I am more tired. I want to sleep and I am cranky. I don’t workout now so I can save my energy for my children, tending to the house and spending time with my husband. I also work over night on-call so if I workout I am dreading the night. Basically my obstacle is fatigue. I really value my sleep.
My obstacle to travel is money. I want to travel at least 4x a year. When I started my family that has died down soooo much and I lost myself in caring for my babies and hubby. My husband wants to travel with me, but he makes less than I do at the moment. I don’t want to leave him behind with a crazy cute little three year old and the other two boys, because I want to make the memories with him! I also want my kids to come twice a year with us to outside travel. We all have our passports, we just need the money. We can make the time. I have no problem pulling my kids out of school to travel for a few days. Afterall, it is educational.
Thank you all 🙂
Hi, Lily! What kind of work do you do working on call? Nursing? Perhaps a source of your fatigue is from disruption of the circadian rhythm and the ensuing problems? Have you spoken to a Naturopathic/Functional/Integrative provider to do a workup of your fatigue?
Also, I don’t know if traveling is within the US of outside. If you wish to take your family and can pull kid out of school, how about renting an RV and getting a remote nursing job you can do on the road?
Dear Lily,
Some considerations:
Children and a husband should not be obstacles; after all, they are your loved ones. When I was very small, in fact, from the age of 11 months old onward, my parents, who loved hiking and backpacking in the mountains, took me on these outings all the time. It was a bit unusual, but that’s because my parents were unusual. They were both Forest Service employees who had spent their summers working in the mountains as fire lookouts, and so when I came along, they were determined that having a baby wasn’t going to keep them out of the woods. So I came along, potty chair and all, 8 miles in to a mountain lake, backpacking. They took me everywhere.
If you have a three year old, and you also work nights on call, you are bound to be burning the candle at all 16 ends! When do you sleep? And is sleep constantly disrupted? How is your sleep hygiene? Is it any wonder that you feel tired, cranky, unmotivated. Sleep isn’t optional. Sooner than later, you’re going to drive yourself into serious health complications with this kind of a lifestyle. It isn’t sustainable, long range. It sounds like it isn’t even sustainable, short range. The fatigue is a definite sign that your exhausted body is screaming at you to change course, or stop. It seems that you are reaching a dangerous point.
If you work out, you’re dreading the night. Why? Because then, you become incredibly exhausted? Your health is everything. It is Number One. Without your health, you have nothing. How do I know? I’ve been there. I used to think I was made of steel and could take on the work of 10 men. Until I had a stroke, and was forced to stop. My life unraveled, and I went from riches to rags. I wound up unable to work at all, and I lost my farm and I ended up on welfare, and even homeless, and finally regained my footing.
And your body is sending you alarm bells.
Besides your health being Number One, your family is, collectively, number 1 A. Believe me, the very first thing is your health, and right next to it, them. So please, on Bended Knee, find a way to restructure your life and quit killing yourself.
I know this sounds harsh, but it’s real. I was dumb enough to do this to myself twice. The first result it produced was a stroke. It is possible to see the brain damage on my MRI. The second time, I was working 3 jobs and working from 4:30 a.m. until 11:00 p.m., 7 days a week. The results produced a heart attack.
I wasn’t able to work after that for quite awhile, and then when I had recovered, I had to modify my life and quit working insane hours. I simply couldn’t any more.
As to the travel, you simply need to stabilize your life and your health first. Because travel, no matter what kind and where, is stressful in its own right. What kind of travel and where? Jetting off to distant lands, and then going around on excursion busses, cruises, and seeing all the sights and hitting the clubs and the shows? Or traveling in your own country, camping out? Without the RV?
I have traveled a lot, but have only jetted off to distant lands a few times. And I know how to travel on a broken shoestring budget. I drive my own car, I pack specific foods that require little to no refrigeration, I use a tent and I stay in State Parks and Forest Service campgrounds.
With the tent, I don’t even have to pay hookup fees. State Parks have good bathrooms, and most of them have showers. Food can be very simple. So my expenses are gasoline and camp fees. I also go into dispersed camping, which is free.
So travel not need be expensive, even with kids. But you mention passports, so it looks like you want to go abroad, and this may well mean jetting off to distant lands.
But it’s time to work smarter, not harder. You can’t afford to ignore those alarm bells any longer. I thought I could get away with it until the two times when I suddenly collapsed. And we don’t want that, do we?
I was somewhat fatigued, but my body wasn’t giving me as many signs as yours is.
So here’s what I think. Lifestyle change and the resulting health protection are Number One goal. And then, after that, you can make some goals to travel cheaply and domestically, taking in much of the natural beauty that surrounds you. You will be making memories together, guaranteed. And it will be adventuresome to be able to hear an owl in the night, to see a fox, to wake up to the calls of mourning doves, and not have to pay the exhorbitant camping fees that come along with camping inside of something bigger than a bus and putting up your dish antenna so you can watch TV.
And at least some of your wanderlust will be satisfied. I know of a young family that does travel abroad with 2 little kids. They stacked up the rewards points from credit cards and used those to greatly reduce airline fare. They kept the cards paid off every month. When they traveled, they stayed in B&B’s instead of the more expensive accommodations. It saved them a ton, and they still went as a whole family on their travels together. As to pulling kids out of school, well, you may run into legal problems that way, but I know that there are instances of it being done. But I think the very first thing is your health, and then possibly some very simple, very low cost travel plans, and, once your health is more stabilized, make some longer range travel plans, say a couple of years out, to use those passports. Is there a way that your husband can work not harder, but smarter, as well? Sometimes, it is a matter of adding value to your work, so that, for instance, one grows from being a janitor to being a computer wizard, and starts one’s own successful business, or builds several income streams, including passive income. You can do this and still be independent enough to travel. This is what I see.
I think you misunderstood my post. This only changed since I had my last son. I am on call overnight and it is very easy. I get enough sleep, but still seem tired. I notice when my toddler is not with me I have more energy. My toddler has so much energy. Too much stimulation makes me very tired ans cranky. Why I moved from NYC over 30 years ago. I am very healthy otherwise. You told me to find a way to change, but this is my way by posting here. I just heard a lot of lecture from you instead of ideas. My health is stable. I never referred to my health being poor. I eat well, get enough sleep, I just reserve my energy because I know my toddler with two other boys and husband is another type of stimulation combination I am not use to.
I think you misunderstood my post. This only changed since I had my last son. I am on call overnight and it is very easy. I get enough sleep, but still seem tired. I notice when my toddler is not with me I have more energy. My toddler has so much energy. Too much stimulation makes me very tired ans cranky. Why I moved from NYC over 30 years ago. I am very healthy otherwise. You told me to find a way to change, but this is my way by posting here. I just heard a lot of lecture from you instead of ideas. My health is stable. I never referred to my health being poor. I eat well, get enough sleep, I just reserve my energy becau7se I know my toddler with two other boys and husband is another type of stimulation combination I am not use to. Also, I said my obstacle is fatigue. My husband and children are wonderful, I just feel lousy when I am too stimulated with noise and touch.
Dear Lily,
I’m sticking to my guns. I felt exactly as you do–that I was made of steel and could do anything, and that there was nothing wrong with me, and kept on ignoring or minimizing the fatigue, until the night when the restaurant that I had been working in suddenly turned grey, spun madly around, and I wound up on the floor. Of course, it was me experiencing all this. I had been working and sleeping in split shifts. I was a breakfast cook there, so I came into work at about 4 or 4:30 a.m. to begin my shift and left at 10:30 to go home and crash. Then, I reported in at 4 to another restaurant and a bakery, which I cleaned, and finished that up around 8:30. Then I went up the street to the first restaurant, where I’d been a breakfast cook, and proceeded to clean that place, and would be through, usually, by around 12:30 in the morning. Then I could go home for about 3 hours of sleep. Then I would get up again, go to restaurant number 1, and repeat the whole business over again, 7 days a week.
And, amazingly enough, I shoved my collapsing episode under the rug, went right on pretending that everything was fine, until a heart attack decked me a few months later. And forced me to not work at all for awhile, and then I was forced to reassess and redesign my life.
The fatigue you’re experiencing, and the crabbiness that tends to accompany it, and that could be related to it, is a definite bodily signal that something is off. It’s your body’s warning.
Previously, when I had the stroke, the summer before that, I had been working to restore an old farm that I had bought sight unseen (never a good thing to do!) I had to collect and consolidate 4 tons of junk that had been dumped there, and had to hire a guy with a truck to help me haul it all off to the dump. And then, it was necessary to get the wood up for the winter. I was told that it would take 5 cords. A nearby logger sold me one of his chainsaws, and taught me how to use it. So I proceeded to buck, haul, and split 5 cords of ponderosa pine. The average large tree will come to about a cord. I was laboring in hot weather, ranging from the 90’s to the triple digits every day. The chimney to the farmhouse also needed fixing, and was mortared on the outside with micaceous Gneiss. The guy who was the mason for that job was the same guy as the logger. He wanted me to help him split some of the stones in half, and so I did. I later found out that it was easier to split that stone than it was to split the dry ponderosa. I have experienced splitting different kinds of wood, having lived in the country for over 20 years, where the only heat we had was wood heat, and dry ponderosa turns out to be one of the most difficult types wood to split. Some people don’t know this, but a cord is a stack of wood that’s 4 feet high, 4 feet wide, and 8 feet long.
One day, when I was splitting the final rounds, there was one piece that just didn’t want to split. I had turned the top of that ponderosa into a toothbrush, trying to split it. No matter what I did, even if I raised the axe over my head, jumped off the ground, and came down with an enormous whack, that thing just wouldn’t split! Finally, along came a visitor to the farm who asked me what I was up to. I showed him. He borrowed the axe and finished off the job. I was relieved, and the whole 5 cords was finished. What I didn’t know was that I was just about “finished.” It was after Labor
Day, into the fall of the year, before I finally finished all of these tasks. And then, in October, Whammo! The stroke hit. I had a balloon payment due on the farm in February, and I couldn’t make it, because I was disabled from the stroke and couldn’t work at all. I lost the farm and went from riches to rags and into welfare.
I have not misunderstood your post. Not at all. Because I can relate, and from my heart, to someone who seems to be very stressed and is reacting to her fatigue the way I was, twice, immediately prior to the times when my health crashed, life threateningly.
So please, on Bended Knee, don’t do that. Don’t keep ignoring the fact that your body is giving you red flags. I did, and it nearly cost me my life–twice. What I’m saying is, restructure your life before you’re forced to. Or before you don’t even have a chance at a life anymore. We don’t want that. And as I’ve said, money is not the issue. I didn’t just give you “lecture.” I gave you a strong warning, and I also gave you a way out about travel. I said I know this couple with 2 little kids who accumulated the rewards points from credit cards to be able to go jetting off to different parts of the world, and they paid off the cards every month, so no debt. This way, they were able to afford greatly reduced air fares and go as a family of 4. They stayed in B&B’s instead of more expensive accommodations and were able to enjoy traveling to at least a couple of destinations a year this way. So there’s a way to do it. And I spoke about suggested ways to work smarter instead of just harder, gaining skills and increasing one’s value in the workplace. All of these are good things, and not just “lecture.” I also spoke about how to travel very cheaply, and still really enjoy it and make lots of good memories. There’s good in that too, and not just “lecture.” I probably would have reacted the same way, gotten mad and told someone off, if I had been confronted when I was a cook and a restaurant cleaner, about my work schedule and work habits. But no one confronted me. I had a rageaholic disposition in those days, which I’ve learned to tame somewhat, since, and my basic attitude was that the best defense is a good offense. And I wasn’t afraid to use it.
But I have offered you heartfelt advice, which comes from experience. Working on call at night and being up in the day to keep up with a 3 year old means that the candle is being burnt at several ends, as I was doing when I was sleeping in split shifts, and running long on 3 hours of sleep. So please don’t act like I did, and get mad and ignore my heartfelt advice. Your body is waving red flags at you, and your life could depend on it, seriously!
Hi Lily,
You said your obstacles for traveling are basically fatigue and money. Here’s what came into my mind:
fatigue: I perceive fatigue as the nervous system saying “Hello, I feel threatened!” (for example by too much stimulation, demands, etc.). What helps me with this are things like mindfulness meditation 20-40 min. (even if I really don’t like it but it helps), somatic tracking (e.g. somatic tracking for fatigue on youtube) and pacing my energy (like you already do). Mind body stuff, nervous system regulation. For worse cases programs like the one by Gupta or alike programs can help.
Also I’m a fan of acceptance that energy resources are limited.
Maybe you can find a way to be ok with not being fit for the moment? Sounds like you already do a lot. Maybe the right time will come again sometime later. If you feel a shift like this could be helpful for you.
money: I know there are couples who do housesitting together. I think maybe this is possible as a family too. There are websites for housesitting which often includes taking care of the house owners pets as well. But it’s free accommodation in several places in the world.
Also maybe it’s possible for a family as well to get free accommodation for a bit of work like you can find possibilities on workaway for example.
And there are websites where you can exchange homes for the holiday.
Take care and good luck!
Hello, my name is Necie and my Wish is to host wellness tea parties and paint/journaling parties and turn this into a business.
Tea and art are more than just hobbies—they’re part of my soul’s ritual for healing, connection, and creativity. Tea offers me a moment of calm in a chaotic world. It’s my daily ceremony of self-care, a quiet invitation to breathe, reflect, and be present. Each cup carries warmth, intention, and a story.
Art, on the other hand, is my voice without words. Through design, color, and creativity, I express emotion, tell stories, and create pieces that uplift, soothe, or inspire. Whether it’s a journal page, a digital print, or a serene tea-themed scene, I pour love into everything I create.
Together, tea and art allow me to blend comfort with creativity—ritual with expression. They are how I nurture both myself and others, offering beauty, peace, and inspiration with every brushstroke and every brew.
Whom I want to serve:
• Women, primarily ages 30–65+
• Often caregivers, older workers, or professionals in transition
• Living with chronic illness (e.g., fibromyalgia, autoimmune conditions)
• Feeling emotionally, spiritually, or physically exhausted
• Seeking hope, healing, and empowerment
• Interested in faith-based, mindful, or creative tools for wellness
What They Crave:
• A sense of calm, purpose, and connection
• Gentle self-care rituals (like tea and art)
• Encouragement and support during career shifts, grief, or health struggles
• Creative outlets: journaling, reflection, art, faith-based printables
• Safe spaces and communities that understand them
I need feedback on getting sponsors and donations of art and tea supplies. Also, my Wish is to develop this community.
Events will be held a local community center quarterly.
Necie, if you have a tea shop in your area (one that sells a variety of teas), ask them to sponsor you. They would either show up and serve tea (while letting your customers know about their teas) or let you use their shop (if it has tables and chairs) and teas for the event.
For art supplies, there are crafts store chains going out of business now or closing stores. You may be able to buy supplies from them at a great discount if you can travel to them.
Thank you for this response! We will look into house sitting.
I was wondering if I should just relax and not worry about being fit right now and just enjoy the kids and hang with hubby. Maybe, my mind is having a hard time switching the priorities when it comes to working out. My body is already say “no way.”
Thank you!
I also suggest you look at the Workaway website. It’s not like you’re doing super hard physical labor trust me. I have done work away before and stayed in some really beautiful expensive homes and maybe out with their website couple hours a day pulling some weeds, maybe planted some seeds in the garden. Quite often you get your own very nice bedroom and they feed you. I stayed at a work away where a man was there with his two boys and it was absolutely delightful. There’s no charge at all. Good luck you sound really smart! I too get overstimulated and drained very quickly around very energetic children so you’re not alone you’re just hypersensitive perhaps to your environment. I think you’re doing everything in a great way right now!
Hi, Necie.
Your idea sounds wonderful.
One idea for supplies is to find a Reuse store. Where people have given away art supplies, and the Reuse art center is selling it extremely cheaply, because their whole point is to save the environment from paint etc. in a landfill. For example, there is a store called Remainders Creative Reuse in Pasadena, Ca. Looking them up might give you some key words to research places that are near to you.
When you get to the point of having your supplies, and you are looking for participants, I have few ideas for you:
* Meetup, of course. If you create your own group, it will cost you about $200 per year, which is a small amount to spend on marketing.
* You can post events on other people’s Meetup groups, if they are interested in your event. Groups who might be interested might be about:
meditation
spirituality
empowerment
healing
personal growth
creativity
*Groupon: people are definitely looking for fun things to do there, and there is a health and wellness section of Groupon where you can specify that your event is for healing.
*Chiropractors offices. Really, some Chiropractors are into the emotional healing part of wellness, especially those who practice Kinesiology ( I worked in one such office for 10 years.) They may have a place to advertise in their offices. That might be a stretch, but this thought might lead you to other thoughts of the type of places you could collaborate with, and offer you painting events as an amenity to their business. Many such offices also call themselves “Wellness Centers”, so you can look those up to make contacts in their offices, local to you. My office, years ago, periodically held “Wellness Fairs”, where they sampled their various healing modalities, and gave out free treatments. They might allow you to do a presentation there, so people can be aware of what you have to offer.
I hope this gives you some ideas to go for!
A lot of 55 and older living communities ( I mean physical locations where they have housing in a closed community) – have all kinds of activities that their residents can sign up for. Some of these events are available for outsiders to attend. For example I have been to a drum circle held at one of these communities, and they met each week. Some of the members of the drum circle group had been going for years.
This is Awesome because you are absolutely right a lot of these senior facilities look for activities and when I worked with a home health agency’s the doctors whom owned it I traveled extensively with them creating events and experiences.
Totally forgot about it. I am good at planning events for others and need to focus on my needs.
I used to advertise on Meetup for live events and was stalked by a participant husband for months and after that stopped using it out of fear.
I love all ideas shared and have been in a rut since starting a new job that has created so much stress in my life.
Thanks so very much!!!
Hi Michele, I reached out on NextDoor asking my neighbors for help finding space to rent and a physical therapy business owner wants to work with me. I plan to hold the first event in September which is Chronic Pain Awareness Month.
Now I need to price the art supplies and negotiate rate with physical therapist. A mom on NextDoor wants to attend and bring her daughter.
I was thinking I could ask the owner to speak and would handle the tea party and paint event and speak on fibromyalgia and the importance of movement.
Will also ask local tea business to join me and feature some tea geared towards wellness.
WOW this is all coming together so fast and my prayers were answered. Will also do a press release to showcase both our respective businesses.
I want it to be fun, functional and meet new people and repeat monthly.
Have to figure out how to price the event.
Congratulations! I applaud your efforts!
Necie, another place to find participants might be non-denominational spiritual centers. If you speak to the director, they may allow you to advertise there – especially if you offer an event there, free – except for the price of art supplies, to their members. Or free, if you want to consider the price of paint part of your marketing expenses. Perhaps you could focus on the women’s group.
I also wonder if rehab centers would like to hire you as an amenity to what they are already offering their patients?
And Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous might be interested in advertising for you, because what you are offering sounds like an awesome outlet for someone healing from addiction.
Will f/u on this.
More ideas: I imagine that there might be some sort of art therapy certificate that you can earn through an accredited school, then you can take your expertise and intuition to all kinds of places who would hire you as an art therapist. Rehab centers, mental hospitals, senior living spaces, perhaps places of healing for people who have survived abuse, even prisons.
Hi Michele.
In the US some states require you to have a Masters Degree in Art Therapy to call yourself an art therapist .
My degree is Communications and have a certificate in wellness and life coaching. I have to call myself something different.
Dear Necie,
I bet you could do this more than quarterly, if you want. Art supplies? Omigod, you wouldn’t believe the number of places that are closing their doors in these hard times. Hopefully, you live close enough to (or perhaps in) a metropolitan area that you can get to them. A big craft store just closed here in my city, called Hobby Lobby. Nothing left of it. And it’s been around for a long time. How to make the art supplies affordable: Right away, set up what I call a “slush fund.” Into this separate fund, you deposit 10% of any and every form of income that crosses your palm, no matter how big or small, and you do this First and Foremost, before you even pay the rent! I mean this! You’ll be surprised at how fast this fund grows.
Go to a tearoom and create a partnership with them, in which you help them advertise and promote any specialty teas that they may have, and they help you by providing space for your events. You may even be able to convince them to carry some of your more medicinal or unusual teas that they don’t have. And, this sounds so lovely, so wonderful, that I really do think it merits having it a lot more often than quarterly. More like monthly at the very minimum. One artist I have known who started some seminars involving art and encouraging women’s creativity became so popular that in short order, she had to sign women up for her workshops well in advance, and she wound up doing things with them weekly for 8 week sessions. You are very right to imagine that women are craving this stuff. I think they really are! It just sounds beautiful to me. Even if I’m not an artist, by a long shot. But don’t try to have it at a community center. Go to the venue that matches what you do. And make a deal with them. I bet they’ll love it too, instead of seeing it as competition. You want to arrange a kind of an “I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine” proposition, and I think they’d go for it! It might really help put them on the map!
Hi Mary Ann
I reached out on NextDoor asking my neighbors for help finding space to rent and a physical therapy business owner wants to work with me. I plan to hold the first event in September which is Chronic Pain Awareness Month.
Now I need to price the art supplies and negotiate rate with physical therapist. A mom on NextDoor wants to attend and bring her daughter.
I was thinking I could ask the owner to speak and would handle the tea party and paint event and speak on fibromyalgia and the importance of movement.
Will also ask local tea business to join me and feature some tea geared towards wellness.
WOW this is all coming together so fast and my prayers were answered. Will also do a press release to showcase both our respective businesses.
I want it to be fun, functional and meet new people and repeat monthly.
Have to figure out how to price the event.
I am so happy that it’s coming together!
So am I and had the opportunity to meet via phone with the business owner.
More brainstorming: There are support groups for new female entrepreneurs on Meetup, and probably other places to get you started in your business.
Plus there are networking and referral groups to join, such as BNI. There are a lot of them. In the past, their structure was “if you scratch my back, Ill scratch yours” with regards to referrals; where they would tell their business contacts about your business and refer them to you, while you did the same for them. Perhaps there are structures that are different, where they can introduce you to other people in related fields who can share ideas or provide further contacts for you to make.
Your business model also reminds me of somatic therapy, since it involves taking action for a therapeutic effect. You may want to do an “informational interview” with a somatic therapist, to ask how their business came to fruition and what they had to go through to become successful. They may even want to collaborate with you, and refer patients or clients.
Will do and have reached out to some.