How Does the Online Idea Party Work?
You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)
The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.
Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:
Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital
I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store
Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!
And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.
(Your first comment below has to be approved, so it may not display instantly depending on the time of the day. Once your email address is approved you can post instantly. If you want your own profile photo to show up beside your comments, instead of the cute little design, upload your photo on Gravatar.com and give them an hour or so to make it happen.)
Hello Sara,
regarding meeting locals I had good experiences with couchsurfing.com.
It’s not only for sleeping at peoples places. There are also people who offer to only meet for a coffe and/or show you around the area they live in. I did this for tourists in the past and I met locals in other countries that way when I traveled. You get to see places that way that otherwise you propably won’t see. It helps to go to the page in advance to look if there are people in the traveled area you would like to meet with.
Also in case you don’t live at shore, for my feeling of savety it helped to inform myself how to deal with riptides just in case.
Have a good time!
Hello dear friends,
In April I planned a 7 day trip to an Italian Island. It is my first travel by myself to a place that I don’t know and know nobody.
I will go to a small authentic italian village in the mountains near the shores.
It is a place with rocks and beaches and some little villages, far away from the touristic beachsides. The place is kind of touristic, but I guess mostly hikers/mountaineering and other activities. The hotel that I stay in is a little guesthouse, known by hikers and cyclers.
My goal is to retraite, meet local people, train my hiking skils, get fitter loose weight, learn the local foods (I love cooking), and learn customs from the local people (their routines and habits) and most of all I want to RELAX live in the know and come what may…
Well… the departure date is coming closer and I feel scared
How am I going to navigate off track when walking alone?
How do I get genuine in touch with locals?
How do I drive through the mountains, I never really done that and it terrifies me
What if I get Isolated there, I am scared to just go and eat somewhere alone (At home that makes me feel sad and lonely,I do not want that on my vacation, or be a “tough girl”on my vacation
What if the trails to hike are to difficult.
Will the little nature beaches be safe enough to go swimming
I can go on like this and as the date comes closer I get more scared and don’t know what to do, any advice from you to prepare sufficiently and on how to mingle?
Hi,
How fun! I have traveled quite a bit by myself over the years. I found that I was rarely alone on these trips-it turns out that other travelers or locals appear when you need company. Just be open to conversations and laughter and opportunities to see something new–even if it wasn’t your original plan for the day! Those unplanned opportunities tended to be my best days on every trip. Also, eating alone in a different country didn’t ever seem as lonely–people tend to like talking to travelers, so I would think I was going out to eat alone, and lo and behold, I’d make a new friend and plans for the next day! The trip sounds amazing–have a great time!
A friend of mine is just back from a two-week solo trip around Italy. She had a grand time.
Relax. Things may not go as expected (they seldom do in unfamiliar countries), but if you stay calm, you’ll come home with marvelous memories and a new sense of your own strengths. That said, here are a few tips to help.
Let the guesthouse proprietor know that you want to meet locals. In a small village, everyone knows everyone and knows who’s an extravert and who’s an introvert.
When you visit a restaurant, let the host know you would love to eat with anyone else traveling alone or any locals who might welcome a tourist at their table.
If the trails are too difficult to hike, turn around and find a beach to walk on.
Before you go, check which mobile providers sell SIM cards at the airport where you will arrive. Then check their coverage maps for the village and hiking areas. If they all have coverage, your phone’s GPS will still work when it chooses a roaming service for you. If only one does, buy a one-week package from them at the airport and swap SIMs if you lose coverage on your home SIM card. Or, if your phone uses eSIMs, you can sign up in advance and use both.
I have no idea what mountain driving is like there, but I expect your guesthouse proprietor can get you a taxi for a day trip into the mountains.
Dear Sara,
You’ve got about 6 goals or more for 7 days, and it seems like you’ve planned to cram more into 7 days than you could possibly do in 7 weeks! I have traveled nationally and overseas It appears that you are letting your fears outweigh the joy of going. And if I were to provide you with practical answers to each of your fears, so that they were “solved,” you’d come up with 10 more! I’m not trying to put you down here, I’m just being observant. So, instead of me giving you the answers, I’m going to ask you to come up with your own answers to each of your fear issues. Your brain keeps calamatizing and catastrophizing all the time.
To travel, you will have to give up the notion that there is a monster, human or animal, behind every bush, and a rattlesnake hiding under every bush. And you do this by stepping out in spite of the fear, and by letting your very actions be the cure–you’ll discover that there isn’t a rattlesnake under every bush. Let what you experience there prove to you that it isn’t as scary as you think it is! Adapt a sense of willingness that says, “I want to go exploring” a particular place or attraction, or scene, and then begin exploring, putting one foot in front of the other, one wondering eye ahead of the other, letting your soul become infused with beauty and wonder every step of the way.
As far as mingling and making close contact with the local populace is concerned, my experience, when I went to Hawaii was concerned, that even though I wanted to learn about the ancient ways of the Kahunas, and the ancient spiritual side of the culture, so does every other tourist. And they plain don’t get to. It does not hurt to ask about certain aspects of the culture, or certain things that you may be interested in, but don’t always expect to be rewarded with an entirely open and outgoing response. Those who live in heavily touristed areas, as I have, know that their local culture and customs are not always for public view.
However, when I was traveling in Hawaii, to several islands, I met up with some other travelers on Kuai, and we stuck together for several days. We even traveled together to the Big Island of Hawaii, and went to several places that they knew that I might have passed up otherwise. My companions were a couple. The man was Hawaiian and the woman was from Southern California. He was willing to show me the way Hawaiians typically make prayers by wrapping a Ti leaf around a stone and placing it as an offering in the corner or the wall of a Heieau, their outdoor sacred structure. These are found in various places.
That was good. So, in your travels, you may find others who are going in the same direction you want to go in, and won’t mind having you join them at all. This isn’t too uncommon. As far as making meaningful contact with the locals goes, how good is your Italian? Not a requirement though, I guess, because English is pretty widely spoken throughout Europe, and European schools take the learning of languages, including English, fairly seriously.
As far as driving goes, do they drive on the right or the left side of the road in Italy? Find out. Rental car contracts have rules written into them about doing things like staying on the pavement and not venturing off the beaten track onto dirt roads and muddy dirt tracks full of potholes. They won’t want you to be doing those kinds of things. Just go about 20-35 mph–fairly slow–on mountain roads that have steep grades, sharp curves, and switchbacks, and stay in your lane, and you should be OK; stick to any posted speed limits, and go with the flow.
When traveling abroad in the UK, I got my money changed into their currency before I left home in the U.S, and had some U.S dollars on me to cover contingencies in the U.S. while I was still there, too. And I became appraised of the fact that Scotland has its own currency, distinct from England. And, I had money in traveler’s checks, British currency, and I wore a money belt. If I needed to access it, I would find a bathroom, go in there, get in one of the stalls, and then, once I was in with the door shut, that’s when I would access more money if I needed it. I only took out no more than 50 pounds or so at a time, and certainly not more than 100 pounds, so that no one would ever see me sorting through or flashing large amounts of cash to make purchases, or even paying for rooms as I traveled. But you won’t be traveling for weeks like I did, and moving from one country into another, so it’s easier. In any case, don’t ever let anyone know you are carrying cash in large amounts. At the places I stayed, which were mostly B&B’s, I tried local cousines, and took advantage of local fruit stands and open air markets, buying sack lunch type food. while strolling, or sitting on the grass, or on a big rock. Sometimes, I just ate in the car, in Hawaii.
Just doing what came naturally, and of course, being fastidious about not leaving any litter behind at all.
So now, a test: Start dismantling the fear by catching yourself when you start catastrophizing and calamatizing, and stop, and start generating answers to your own fearful questions. Example: “What if the trails are too difficult?” Well, so, what if? What would you say? What would you do? Hint: Do Not say, “Push on in spite of the risk and the fear.” You don’t want to end up with broken bones or other injuries. Never, ever hike or climb beyond your ability. Fear serves a useful purpose, at times. And, are the beaches safe? I dunno. It depends on how many sharks there are in the water, I guess. In Hawaii, there was a beach where it was shallow and sandy and inviting, but there were signs with shark warnings posted, so I didn’t go in the water. In fact, I never went in the water at all in Hawaii. Too scared of the sharks!
Travel tip: If you must carry anything where you go, make sure it has a thick strap that goes over your shoulder and across your chest. This way, you’re a lot less likely be a target for purse snatch. And walk in comfortable, flat shoes that will hold up well, and let you go comfortably for quite some distance, maybe a mile or two at the least, and that provide good arch support and ankle support, like sneakers do. And walk strongly, with purpose.
Mingle? Forget it! Tourists always stick out like a sore thumb to the locals. I’ve been a local who lived in a very touristy area, and even worked in the tourist industry, and have even been a park ranger. So I know this. Just get used to the idea that you will stick out, and that’s OK, and maybe you’ll meet some entertaining hosts where you stay or meet others who are traveling, as I did, and have fun along the way.
It seems that all this fear sources from a place of deep trauma from the past. This has been held onto forever, and perhaps grappled with at times, to try to deal with it, and this trip represents a challenge to this “fixed reality.” Is there any way that you can possibly work with a therapist who specializes in the treatment of trauma before you embark on your trip? This might pay dividends. Most therapists would only have you challenging your own individual fear statements, one by one, but this doesn’t go deep enough, because the calamatizing, catastrophizing mind doesn’t stop reeling and inventing more things to be afraid of. That’s how it works. If it’s stationary, we’re afraid of it. And if it moves, we’re afraid of it. And all the what iff’s that might be! A good trauma therapist can help with this.
And what I’d have you do in the meantime is, every time you start Calamatizing and catastrophizing, Stop! And go into a Peaceful Scene, one that you invent in advance. This is your personal Safe and Beautiful Space, and the only requirement is that it must engage all the senses, in your imagination. Example: One of my Special Peaceful Spaces is an imaginary space….I am by a river, lying there in the sand, on a warm summer’s night. There’s a campfire going, and it’s such a warm and beautiful night that I don’t need to put my tent up. I’m in the sleeping bag, a safe distance from the fire. I can hear the river water moving gently over the rocks. I can see the campfire, and I’m gazing up at the stars. The cottonwood trees by the river are all exuding sweet scents into the night air, the way they really do at night. The sand beneath me is so nice and soft, and it cradles my body perfectly. And a beautiful bright blue star is rising over a timbered ridge to the East. That is one of my safe spaces. So I always have that. And I can go to it and be in it any time, to relax, and just be. Every sense is involved, except taste. So, another challenge: In your own imagination, invent at least one safe space. And it has to engage the five senses. And if you want to know God, then know Nature, and you will know God.
One of the goals you mentioned is important–Relax. Relax and Enjoy.
Explore, with wonder. At the end of each day, ask yourself, “What did I see that was beautiful today? What did I taste that was beautiful? What did I smell that was beautiful? What did I hear that was beautiful?
What did I touch that was beautiful? Fill your mind with beauty. You’re in the right part of the world for it! Blessings!
Dear Sara,
You’ve got about 6 goals or more for 7 days, and it seems like you’ve planned to cram more into 7 days than you could possibly do in 7 weeks! I have traveled nationally and overseas It appears that you are letting your fears outweigh the joy of going. And if I were to provide you with practical answers to each of your fears, so that they were “solved,” you’d come up with 10 more! I’m not trying to put you down here, I’m just being observant. So, instead of me giving you the answers, I’m going to ask you to come up with your own answers to each of your fear issues. Your brain keeps calamatizing and catastrophizing all the time.
To travel, you will have to give up the notion that there is a monster, human or animal, behind every bush, and a rattlesnake hiding under every bush. And you do this by stepping out in spite of the fear, and by letting your very actions be the cure–you’ll discover that there isn’t a rattlesnake under every bush. Let what you experience there prove to you that it isn’t as scary as you think it is! Adapt a sense of willingness that says, “I want to go exploring” a particular place or attraction, or scene, and then begin exploring, putting one foot in front of the other, one wondering eye ahead of the other, letting your soul become infused with beauty and wonder every step of the way.
As far as mingling and making close contact with the local populace is concerned, my experience, when I went to Hawaii was concerned, that even though I wanted to learn about the ancient ways of the Kahunas, and the ancient spiritual side of the culture, so does every other tourist. And they plain don’t get to. It does not hurt to ask about certain aspects of the culture, or certain things that you may be interested in, but don’t always expect to be rewarded with an entirely open and outgoing response. Those who live in heavily touristed areas, as I have, know that their local culture and customs are not always for public view.
However, when I was traveling in Hawaii, to several islands, I met up with some other travelers on Kuai, and we stuck together for several days. We even traveled together to the Big Island of Hawaii, and went to several places that they knew that I might have passed up otherwise. My companions were a couple. The man was Hawaiian and the woman was from Southern California. He was willing to show me the way Hawaiians typically make prayers by wrapping a Ti leaf around a stone and placing it as an offering in the corner or the wall of a Heieau, their outdoor sacred structure. These are found in various places.
That was good. So, in your travels, you may find others who are going in the same direction you want to go in, and won’t mind having you join them at all. This isn’t too uncommon. As far as making meaningful contact with the locals goes, how good is your Italian? Not a requirement though, I guess, because English is pretty widely spoken throughout Europe, and European schools take the learning of languages, including English, fairly seriously.
As far as driving goes, do they drive on the right or the left side of the road in Italy? Find out. Rental car contracts have rules written into them about doing things like staying on the pavement and not venturing off the beaten track onto dirt roads and muddy dirt tracks full of potholes. They won’t want you to be doing those kinds of things. Just go about 20-35 mph–fairly slow–on mountain roads that have steep grades, sharp curves, and switchbacks, and stay in your lane, and you should be OK; stick to any posted speed limits, and go with the flow.
When traveling abroad in the UK, I got my money changed into their currency before I left home in the U.S, and had some U.S dollars on me to cover contingencies in the U.S. while I was still there, too. And I became appraised of the fact that Scotland has its own currency, distinct from England. And, I had money in traveler’s checks, British currency, and I wore a money belt. If I needed to access it, I would find a bathroom, go in there, get in one of the stalls, and then, once I was in with the door shut, that’s when I would access more money if I needed it. I only took out no more than 50 pounds or so at a time, and certainly not more than 100 pounds, so that no one would ever see me sorting through or flashing large amounts of cash to make purchases, or even paying for rooms as I traveled. But you won’t be traveling for weeks like I did, and moving from one country into another, so it’s easier. In any case, don’t ever let anyone know you are carrying cash in large amounts. At the places I stayed, which were mostly B&B’s, I tried local cousines, and took advantage of local fruit stands and open air markets, buying sack lunch type food. while strolling, or sitting on the grass, or on a big rock. Sometimes, I just ate in the car, in Hawaii.
Just doing what came naturally, and of course, being fastidious about not leaving any litter behind at all.
So now, a test: Start dismantling the fear by catching yourself when you start catastrophizing and calamatizing, and stop, and start generating answers to your own fearful questions. Example: “What if the trails are too difficult?” Well, so, what if? What would you say? What would you do? Hint: Do Not say, “Push on in spite of the risk and the fear.” You don’t want to end up with broken bones or other injuries. Never, ever hike or climb beyond your ability. Fear serves a useful purpose, at times. And, are the beaches safe? I dunno. It depends on how many sharks there are in the water, I guess. In Hawaii, there was a beach where it was shallow and sandy and inviting, but there were signs with shark warnings posted, so I didn’t go in the water. In fact, I never went in the water at all in Hawaii. Too scared of the sharks!
Travel tip: If you must carry anything where you go, make sure it has a thick strap that goes over your shoulder and across your chest. This way, you’re a lot less likely be a target for purse snatch. And walk in comfortable, flat shoes that will hold up well, and let you go comfortably for quite some distance, maybe a mile or two at the least, and that provide good arch support and ankle support, like sneakers do. And walk strongly, with purpose.
Mingle? Forget it! Tourists always stick out like a sore thumb to the locals. I’ve been a local who lived in a very touristy area, and even worked in the tourist industry, and have even been a park ranger. So I know this. Just get used to the idea that you will stick out, and that’s OK, and maybe you’ll meet some entertaining hosts where you stay or meet others who are traveling, as I did, and have fun along the way.
It seems that all this fear sources from a place of deep trauma from the past. This has been held onto forever, and perhaps grappled with at times, to try to deal with it, and this trip represents a challenge to this “fixed reality.” Is there any way that you can possibly work with a therapist who specializes in the treatment of trauma before you embark on your trip? This might pay dividends. Most therapists would only have you challenging your own individual fear statements, one by one, but this doesn’t go deep enough, because the calamatizing, catastrophizing mind doesn’t stop reeling and inventing more things to be afraid of. That’s how it works. If it’s stationary, we’re afraid of it. And if it moves, we’re afraid of it. And all the what iff’s that might be! A good trauma therapist can help with this.
And what I’d have you do in the meantime is, every time you start Calamatizing and catastrophizing, Stop! And go into a Peaceful Scene, one that you invent in advance. This is your personal Safe and Beautiful Space, and the only requirement is that it must engage all the senses, in your imagination. Example: One of my Special Peaceful Spaces is an imaginary space….I am by a river, lying there in the sand, on a warm summer’s night. There’s a campfire going, and it’s such a warm and beautiful night that I don’t need to put my tent up. I’m in the sleeping bag, a safe distance from the fire. I can hear the river water moving gently over the rocks. I can see the campfire, and I’m gazing up at the stars. The cottonwood trees by the river are all exuding sweet scents into the night air, the way they really do at night. The sand beneath me is so nice and soft, and it cradles my body perfectly. And a beautiful bright blue star is rising over a timbered ridge to the East. That is one of my safe spaces. So I always have that. And I can go to it and be in it any time, to relax, and just be. Every sense is involved, except taste. So, another challenge: In your own imagination, invent at least one safe space. And it has to engage the five senses. And if you want to know God, then know Nature, and you will know God.
One of the goals you mentioned is important–Relax. Relax and Enjoy.
Explore, with wonder. At the end of each day, ask yourself, “What did I see that was beautiful today? What did I taste that was beautiful? What did I smell that was beautiful? What did I hear that was beautiful?
What did I touch that was beautiful? Fill your mind with beauty. You’re in the right part of the world for it! Blessings!
Dear Sara,
You’ve got about 6 goals or more for 7 days, and it seems like you’ve planned to cram more into 7 days than you could possibly do in 7 weeks! I have traveled nationally and overseas It appears that you are letting your fears outweigh the joy of going. And if I were to provide you with practical answers to each of your fears, so that they were “solved,” you’d come up with 10 more! I’m not trying to put you down here, I’m just being observant. So, instead of me giving you the answers, I’m going to ask you to come up with your own answers to each of your fear issues. Your brain keeps calamatizing and catastrophizing all the time.
To travel, you will have to give up the notion that there is a monster, human or animal, behind every bush, and a rattlesnake hiding under every bush. And you do this by stepping out in spite of the fear, and by letting your very actions be the cure–you’ll discover that there isn’t a rattlesnake under every bush. Let what you experience there prove to you that it isn’t as scary as you think it is! Adapt a sense of willingness that says, “I want to go exploring” a particular place or attraction, or scene, and then begin exploring, putting one foot in front of the other, one wondering eye ahead of the other, letting your soul become infused with beauty and wonder every step of the way.
As far as mingling and making close contact with the local populace is concerned, my experience, when I went to Hawaii was concerned, that even though I wanted to learn about the ancient ways of the Kahunas, and the ancient spiritual side of the culture, so does every other tourist. And they plain don’t get to. It does not hurt to ask about certain aspects of the culture, or certain things that you may be interested in, but don’t always expect to be rewarded with an entirely open and outgoing response. Those who live in heavily touristed areas, as I have, know that their local culture and customs are not always for public view.
However, when I was traveling in Hawaii, to several islands, I met up with some other travelers on Kuai, and we stuck together for several days. We even traveled together to the Big Island of Hawaii, and went to several places that they knew that I might have passed up otherwise. My companions were a couple. The man was Hawaiian and the woman was from Southern California. He was willing to show me the way Hawaiians typically make prayers by wrapping a Ti leaf around a stone and placing it as an offering in the corner or the wall of a Heieau, their outdoor sacred structure. These are found in various places.
That was good. So, in your travels, you may find others who are going in the same direction you want to go in, and won’t mind having you join them at all. This isn’t too uncommon. As far as making meaningful contact with the locals goes, how good is your Italian? Not a requirement though, I guess, because English is pretty widely spoken throughout Europe, and European schools take the learning of languages, including English, fairly seriously.
As far as driving goes, do they drive on the right or the left side of the road in Italy? Find out. Rental car contracts have rules written into them about doing things like staying on the pavement and not venturing off the beaten track onto dirt roads and muddy dirt tracks full of potholes. They won’t want you to be doing those kinds of things. Just go about 20-35 mph–fairly slow–on mountain roads that have steep grades, sharp curves, and switchbacks, and stay in your lane, and you should be OK; stick to any posted speed limits, and go with the flow.
When traveling abroad in the UK, I got my money changed into their currency before I left home in the U.S, and had some U.S dollars on me to cover contingencies in the U.S. while I was still there, too. And I became appraised of the fact that Scotland has its own currency, distinct from England. And, I had money in traveler’s checks, British currency, and I wore a money belt. If I needed to access it, I would find a bathroom, go in there, get in one of the stalls, and then, once I was in with the door shut, that’s when I would access more money if I needed it. I only took out no more than 50 pounds or so at a time, and certainly not more than 100 pounds, so that no one would ever see me sorting through or flashing large amounts of cash to make purchases, or even paying for rooms as I traveled. But you won’t be traveling for weeks like I did, and moving from one country into another, so it’s easier. In any case, don’t ever let anyone know you are carrying cash in large amounts. At the places I stayed, which were mostly B&B’s, I tried local cousines, and took advantage of local fruit stands and open air markets, buying sack lunch type food. while strolling, or sitting on the grass, or on a big rock. Sometimes, I just ate in the car, in Hawaii.
Just doing what came naturally, and of course, being fastidious about not leaving any litter behind at all.
So now, a test: Start dismantling the fear by catching yourself when you start catastrophizing and calamatizing, and stop, and start generating answers to your own fearful questions. Example: “What if the trails are too difficult?” Well, so, what if? What would you say? What would you do? Hint: Do Not say, “Push on in spite of the risk and the fear.” You don’t want to end up with broken bones or other injuries. Never, ever hike or climb beyond your ability. Fear serves a useful purpose, at times. And, are the beaches safe? I dunno. It depends on how many sharks there are in the water, I guess. In Hawaii, there was a beach where it was shallow and sandy and inviting, but there were signs with shark warnings posted, so I didn’t go in the water. In fact, I never went in the water at all in Hawaii. Too scared of the sharks!
Travel tip: If you must carry anything where you go, make sure it has a thick strap that goes over your shoulder and across your chest. This way, you’re a lot less likely be a target for purse snatch. And walk in comfortable, flat shoes that will hold up well, and let you go comfortably for quite some distance, maybe a mile or two at the least, and that provide good arch support and ankle support, like sneakers do. And walk strongly, with purpose.
Mingle? Forget it! Tourists always stick out like a sore thumb to the locals. I’ve been a local who lived in a very touristy area, and even worked in the tourist industry, and have even been a park ranger. So I know this. Just get used to the idea that you will stick out, and that’s OK, and maybe you’ll meet some entertaining hosts where you stay or meet others who are traveling, as I did, and have fun along the way.
It seems that all this fear sources from a place of deep trauma from the past. This has been held onto forever, and perhaps grappled with at times, to try to deal with it, and this trip represents a challenge to this “fixed reality.” Is there any way that you can possibly work with a therapist who specializes in the treatment of trauma before you embark on your trip? This might pay dividends. Most therapists would only have you challenging your own individual fear statements, one by one, but this doesn’t go deep enough, because the calamatizing, catastrophizing mind doesn’t stop reeling and inventing more things to be afraid of. That’s how it works. If it’s stationary, we’re afraid of it. And if it moves, we’re afraid of it. And all the what iff’s that might be! A good trauma therapist can help with this.
And what I’d have you do in the meantime is, every time you start Calamatizing and catastrophizing, Stop! And go into a Peaceful Scene, one that you invent in advance. This is your personal Safe and Beautiful Space, and the only requirement is that it must engage all the senses, in your imagination. Example: One of my Special Peaceful Spaces is an imaginary space….I am by a river, lying there in the sand, on a warm summer’s night. There’s a campfire going, and it’s such a warm and beautiful night that I don’t need to put my tent up. I’m in the sleeping bag, a safe distance from the fire. I can hear the river water moving gently over the rocks. I can see the campfire, and I’m gazing up at the stars. The cottonwood trees by the river are all exuding sweet scents into the night air, the way they really do at night. The sand beneath me is so nice and soft, and it cradles my body perfectly. And a beautiful bright blue star is rising over a timbered ridge to the East. That is one of my safe spaces. So I always have that. And I can go to it and be in it any time, to relax, and just be. Every sense is involved, except taste. So, another challenge: In your own imagination, invent at least one safe space. And it has to engage the five senses. And if you want to know God, then know Nature, and you will know God.
One of the goals you mentioned is important–Relax. Relax and Enjoy.
Explore, with wonder. At the end of each day, ask yourself, “What did I see that was beautiful today? What did I taste that was beautiful? What did I smell that was beautiful? What did I hear that was beautiful?
What did I touch that was beautiful? Fill your mind with beauty. You’re in the right part of the world for it! Blessings!
Dear Sara,
You’ve got about 6 goals or more for 7 days, and it seems like you’ve planned to cram more into 7 days than you could possibly do in 7 weeks! I have traveled nationally and overseas It appears that you are letting your fears outweigh the joy of going. And if I were to provide you with practical answers to each of your fears, so that they were “solved,” you’d come up with 10 more! I’m not trying to put you down here, I’m just being observant. So, instead of me giving you the answers, I’m going to ask you to come up with your own answers to each of your fear issues. Your brain keeps calamatizing and catastrophizing all the time.
To travel, you will have to give up the notion that there is a monster, human or animal, behind every bush, and a rattlesnake hiding under every bush. And you do this by stepping out in spite of the fear, and by letting your very actions be the cure–you’ll discover that there isn’t a rattlesnake under every bush. Let what you experience there prove to you that it isn’t as scary as you think it is! Adapt a sense of willingness that says, “I want to go exploring” a particular place or attraction, or scene, and then begin exploring, putting one foot in front of the other, one wondering eye ahead of the other, letting your soul become infused with beauty and wonder every step of the way.
As far as mingling and making close contact with the local populace is concerned, my experience, when I went to Hawaii was concerned, that even though I wanted to learn about the ancient ways of the Kahunas, and the ancient spiritual side of the culture, so does every other tourist. And they plain don’t get to. It does not hurt to ask about certain aspects of the culture, or certain things that you may be interested in, but don’t always expect to be rewarded with an entirely open and outgoing response. Those who live in heavily touristed areas, as I have, know that their local culture and customs are not always for public view.
However, when I was traveling in Hawaii, to several islands, I met up with some other travelers on Kuai, and we stuck together for several days. We even traveled together to the Big Island of Hawaii, and went to several places that they knew that I might have passed up otherwise. My companions were a couple. The man was Hawaiian and the woman was from Southern California. He was willing to show me the way Hawaiians typically make prayers by wrapping a Ti leaf around a stone and placing it as an offering in the corner or the wall of a Heieau, their outdoor sacred structure. These are found in various places.
That was good. So, in your travels, you may find others who are going in the same direction you want to go in, and won’t mind having you join them at all. This isn’t too uncommon. As far as making meaningful contact with the locals goes, how good is your Italian? Not a requirement though, I guess, because English is pretty widely spoken throughout Europe, and European schools take the learning of languages, including English, fairly seriously.
As far as driving goes, do they drive on the right or the left side of the road in Italy? Find out. Rental car contracts have rules written into them about doing things like staying on the pavement and not venturing off the beaten track onto dirt roads and muddy dirt tracks full of potholes. They won’t want you to be doing those kinds of things. Just go about 20-35 mph–fairly slow–on mountain roads that have steep grades, sharp curves, and switchbacks, and stay in your lane, and you should be OK; stick to any posted speed limits, and go with the flow.
When traveling abroad in the UK, I got my money changed into their currency before I left home in the U.S, and had some U.S dollars on me to cover contingencies in the U.S. while I was still there, too. And I became appraised of the fact that Scotland has its own currency, distinct from England. And, I had money in traveler’s checks, British currency, and I wore a money belt. If I needed to access it, I would find a bathroom, go in there, get in one of the stalls, and then, once I was in with the door shut, that’s when I would access more money if I needed it. I only took out no more than 50 pounds or so at a time, and certainly not more than 100 pounds, so that no one would ever see me sorting through or flashing large amounts of cash to make purchases, or even paying for rooms as I traveled. But you won’t be traveling for weeks like I did, and moving from one country into another, so it’s easier. In any case, don’t ever let anyone know you are carrying cash in large amounts. At the places I stayed, which were mostly B&B’s, I tried local cousines, and took advantage of local fruit stands and open air markets, buying sack lunch type food. while strolling, or sitting on the grass, or on a big rock. Sometimes, I just ate in the car, in Hawaii.
Just doing what came naturally, and of course, being fastidious about not leaving any litter behind at all.
So now, a test: Start dismantling the fear by catching yourself when you start catastrophizing and calamatizing, and stop, and start generating answers to your own fearful questions. Example: “What if the trails are too difficult?” Well, so, what if? What would you say? What would you do? Hint: Do Not say, “Push on in spite of the risk and the fear.” You don’t want to end up with broken bones or other injuries. Never, ever hike or climb beyond your ability. Fear serves a useful purpose, at times. And, are the beaches safe? I dunno. It depends on how many sharks there are in the water, I guess. In Hawaii, there was a beach where it was shallow and sandy and inviting, but there were signs with shark warnings posted, so I didn’t go in the water. In fact, I never went in the water at all in Hawaii. Too scared of the sharks!
Travel tip: If you must carry anything where you go, make sure it has a thick strap that goes over your shoulder and across your chest. This way, you’re a lot less likely be a target for purse snatch. And walk in comfortable, flat shoes that will hold up well, and let you go comfortably for quite some distance, maybe a mile or two at the least, and that provide good arch support and ankle support, like sneakers do. And walk strongly, with purpose.
Mingle? Forget it! Tourists always stick out like a sore thumb to the locals. I’ve been a local who lived in a very touristy area, and even worked in the tourist industry, and have even been a park ranger. So I know this. Just get used to the idea that you will stick out, and that’s OK, and maybe you’ll meet some entertaining hosts where you stay or meet others who are traveling, as I did, and have fun along the way.
It seems that all this fear sources from a place of deep trauma from the past. This has been held onto forever, and perhaps grappled with at times, to try to deal with it, and this trip represents a challenge to this “fixed reality.” Is there any way that you can possibly work with a therapist who specializes in the treatment of trauma before you embark on your trip? This might pay dividends. Most therapists would only have you challenging your own individual fear statements, one by one, but this doesn’t go deep enough, because the calamatizing, catastrophizing mind doesn’t stop reeling and inventing more things to be afraid of. That’s how it works. If it’s stationary, we’re afraid of it. And if it moves, we’re afraid of it. And all the what iff’s that might be! A good trauma therapist can help with this.
And what I’d have you do in the meantime is, every time you start Calamatizing and catastrophizing, Stop! And go into a Peaceful Scene, one that you invent in advance. This is your personal Safe and Beautiful Space, and the only requirement is that it must engage all the senses, in your imagination. Example: One of my Special Peaceful Spaces is an imaginary space….I am by a river, lying there in the sand, on a warm summer’s night. There’s a campfire going, and it’s such a warm and beautiful night that I don’t need to put my tent up. I’m in the sleeping bag, a safe distance from the fire. I can hear the river water moving gently over the rocks. I can see the campfire, and I’m gazing up at the stars. The cottonwood trees by the river are all exuding sweet scents into the night air, the way they really do at night. The sand beneath me is so nice and soft, and it cradles my body perfectly. And a beautiful bright blue star is rising over a timbered ridge to the East. That is one of my safe spaces. So I always have that. And I can go to it and be in it any time, to relax, and just be. Every sense is involved, except taste. So, another challenge: In your own imagination, invent at least one safe space. And it has to engage the five senses. And if you want to know God, then know Nature, and you will know God.
One of the goals you mentioned is important–Relax. Relax and Enjoy.
Explore, with wonder. At the end of each day, ask yourself, “What did I see that was beautiful today? What did I taste that was beautiful? What did I smell that was beautiful? What did I hear that was beautiful?
What did I touch that was beautiful? Fill your mind with beauty. You’re in the right part of the world for it! Blessings!
Hello Sara,
regarding meeting locals I had good experiences with couchsurfing.com.
It’s not only for sleeping at peoples places. There are also people who offer to only meet for a coffe and/or show you around the area they live in. I did this for tourists in the past and I met locals in other countries that way when I traveled. You get to see places that way that otherwise you propably won’t see. It helps to go to the page in advance to look if there are people in the traveled area you would like to meet with.
Also in case you don’t live at shore, for my feeling of savety it helped to inform myself how to deal with riptides just in case.
Have a good time!
I love Barbara Sher’s work. Thanks for being here for us. I want to do a TED talk on an important advocacy topic to spread information about something important. I’ve been researching things, and I think to get chosen for it, I need to do more of the actual work that helps people in this area (which is my real goal anyway). I’ve started giving talks on the subject locally and entered a speech contest. I also have a curriculum for a course written by prominent psychologists that I’ve been given permission to utilize. I have written part of a second course that I’d like to offer. My idea is to offer them for free with a creative marketing strategy which I have planned out. My hope is that it gets the word out about this topic to tens of thousands of people. My challenge is 3-fold. One, my current business seems to keep hitting bumps this year–really, it’s one thing after another or I’ve gotten yet another cold or flu! I’m trying very hard to just make sure I still have a business 9 months from now to support me and my son. Two, I’m scared. Three, the anti-thoughts– do I have a right to try to do advocacy work when my job is to support my family? Who am I to think I can be the change? Plus, do I really want to do this? Maybe I should relax a little (or look for a stable job) and stop trying to save the world–maybe life is just too short to fight so hard (I know these are limiting beliefs that I’m trying very hard to shake, but they’re sticky like burrs!) Thanks for your support.
Hi Lisa,
I believe that you are on the right track, even if it does not feel like it from your perspective.
The fears, limiting beliefs, bumps on your path are experiences that are honing you into the person that can transmute your dreams into reality.
These “negative” experiences if integrated will become everything that you need ( the wisdom, the intuitive hits, the synchronicities) to get to your goal. That’s why they are there.
They feel daunting, overwhelming and insurmountable at first and so our first reaction is to run away from them, make them a mistake, see them as something that shouldn’t be there. When we take this path all we get is more bumps, more resistance and more suffering. Through this experience we realise that running away from them is not the way. ( We are here to learn so mistakes, detours are a natural part of life.)
That’s when we change directions and instead of resisting the bumps, the fears we turn towards them. As we turn towards them we start understanding, in a very intimate way, parts of us that we were not aware of, suddenly we get more wisdom, the path to the wanted starts clearing out and becoming an adventure etc.
How to get there?
I create content explaining how to make this shift. Who knows, it may be what you are looking for.
In today’s video – which will be posted in two hours from now – I explain how to deal with resistance. There are also other videos that may interest you.
The link : https://youtu.be/acG1Qgt-XIc?si=RJeEnaaxjiomMyCS
Take care,
Almaz
Thank you. I appreciate your thoughts.
The video was great. Wonderful insights!
I am so glad. Thank you for letting me know.
Dear Lisa,
I’ve read your email concerning your lists of fears and concerns about getting to do a TED talk, and about doing advocacy work.
You said that one thing that’s happening is getting continuous colds and flus. And that’s what my life was like every fall and winter, until the day that I went to a naturopathic physician for a second opinion on some surgery that the mainstream medical establishment said I needed. There are two kinds of naturopaths–naturopaths and naturopathic physicians. The naturopathic physicians go to 4 years of medical school, and specialize in nutrition, which is an elective in the training of MD’s. Imagine not knowing anything about nutrition and being a doctor!
I went to this naturopathic physician for a second opinion, and that was 46 years ago. She said, “Keep a diet diary and get back to me in two weeks.” Two weeks later, when she read my diet diary, she was horrified. She pointed her finger in my face, shook it at me, and said, “If you keep eating like this, you’ll be dead in a year!” I was 32 at the time, and had no desire to be dead in a year. She really laid it on the line to me, and this is what she said: “You’ve got to quit eating sugar in all forms, and you’ll have to become a label reader because it comes up in everything–peanut butter, dressings, sauces, even soup–and this includes high fructose corn syrup. All sugar must be abolished from your diet. You must also completely avoid foods containing additives and preservatives, especially the nitrates and nitrites in meat, and you must not eat anything deep fried. You must quit eating anything to do with white flour–white pasta, biscuits, bread, muffins, and desserts of any type. Only whole grains from now on. And you must begin to eat at least 2 pounds of vegetables per day. And you won’t get there by stacking lettuce leaves up to the ceiling.”
I hated these things, but I immediately began implementing what she said. It was December. The results were dramatic. As soon as I eliminated my intake of sugar, my colds, flus, and bronchitis stopped. And winter after winter since, I stay healthy! I found out that sugar is a major immune destroyer and a known carcinogen! There was an article published in the medical journal Lancet which said that sugar is a known carcinogen. And it is highly addictive, and it is said that the addiction is harder to break than an addiction to cocaine!
So my first question and challenge to you is, what are you eating?
It needs to be what my physician told me, years ago. The typical American diet is a health-destroying diet. I think you’ll begin to experience profound results.
Barbara Sher would think that the “anti-thoughts” were wonderful. Wonderful?? Yes! “Ahh, good!” She’d say. “Your Resistance is out in the open! You’ve smoked it out, and now, it’s time to start dealing with it!” One of the main things is that you can’t save the world, nor any part of it. I have given many speaking engagements and I am a psychotherapist and a life coach now. The most you can hope to accomplish is to put your word out there and then you’ll have done the best that you can. It is a common misconception that it’s possible to “make” people do things, or say things, or think things, when, in reality, we can’t make anyone do, think, or say anything. At the most, we can put our word out there, and some of them will ignore us, some of them will accept us but do nothing, some will really appreciate us but do little, and a few will really pay attention to what we have to share and really want to get involved. That’s reality.
As an Eder now, I have had to commit to investing passion and excitement in every phase of my life. And, I think that applies, no matter what stage of life you’re at. So, don’t talk yourself out of doing the speaking. The advocacy work is something you must be passionate about, or you wouldn’t be doing it. Don’t ever settle for a drab, disappearing, humdrum life, and if you have something passionate to do, for heavens sake, embrace it and go for it! You can’t change the world, but you can surely put the word out there, and if enough people gravitate to it, some change may come about, depending on what it is. I don’t know what it takes to get chosen for doing a TED talk, but you seem to be headed in the right direction. Go for it, and the rest of the pieces will fall into place. I’m certain. And let us know when the TED talk will be, so we can watch it!
Thank you very much! I will start with nutrition and then just keep putting one foot after another.
hi
i want to move into wellness or holistic tourism.
(I am not a spa or superficial provider or yoga or cacao provider. ) i provide a results based service that can be very life-enhancing with how the symptoms are reduced. and providing and new leash on life, extension of career or simply more freedom in general.
i may be interested in offereing in Costa rica with a brick and mortar clinic where i can integrate easily
i am not a dr but a massage therapist and in between the doctors and the yoga teachers so sometimes its difficult to find my place in terms of who is my tribe.
but my services are in demand just that many don’t know there is a cure but i am sure that we can work on that too.
I am just wondering if i should just call the hotels since all the posts on social platfroms are not serious.
i am just looking to expand my mind and to bring ease and joy in my journey too.
ty
i am also wondering if there is a list of operators in this industry.
Dear j,
After some thought, it appears to me that the best way to advance your healing practice is to advance yourself in several ways into a different healing career, and this for several reasons. And there are some strong warnings and caveats that need to be paid close attention to.
When anyone starts saying the word “cure,” I immediately become mightily skeptical. I was once at a physicians’ conference, and I was the only non-physician in the room. So I was like the fly on the wall, listening without giving input. They all, every one of them, admitted that they don’t know how to cure anything. They admitted that it was a great mystery as to how patients got well. “We don’t know how to cure anything, from cancer to the common cold,” they said. So they had gathered at this retreat center for the weekend to explore into alternative, holistic methods of medicine.
There are physical therapists who do wonders in terms of restoring people to functioning when they’ve had injuries or things that limit range of motion, and the treatments provide lasting results. There are naturopathic physicians, who use many holistic approaches, including diet modifications, in their treatment procedures. And there is a great difference between a naturopathic physician and a naturopath. A naturopathic physician goes to medical school for 4 years, and can do what an MD does, except surgery, and has had specialized training in nutrition. In medical school, nutrition is an elective, and many MD’s choose not to take it! Can you imagine?? Yikes! Nutrition is so fundamental to the ways our bodies function–or not!
There are herbalists in the United States, and up in Canada, herb doctors. Within the New Age movement, there are Reiki practitioners and other types of body workers who provide various modalities of energy work.
Upon thought, it seems that a massage practice alone may well be too limiting for what you really want to do, since I’m getting that you want to ensure a results-oriented practice that brings about significant changes for a client’s life. I really think this is going to involve an upgrade into another healing profession.
At least in the U.S., the laws governing the practice of any of the healing professions are very stringent. I, for instance, know a lot about ethnobotany, but if I try to apply my knowledge to cure cancer, epilepsy, or just a bad sprained or dislocated ankle, or even the common cold, I could be hauled away in handcuffs for practicing medicine without a license. In other words, in practicing any kind of treatment upon anyone, the laws are very stringent, and this also means not “expanding” your massage therapy practice beyond it’s typical boundaries and limits of what you are licensed to do. So the way to improve and expand, it seems, is to spread your wings and advance into the next profession that you choose to advance into, which best fits the definition of what you want your practice to accomplish.
I have no idea what the laws are like in Costa Rica; all I know is that such laws (and licensures) are in place to protect clients from people who are charlatans, and who can inflict more harm than good upon people.
Another thing–Is English your second language? Is Spanish your first language, and so is that part of the attraction to Costa Rica?
It would behoove you to bone up on the English language, by taking at least a couple of years of immersion English courses offered at the college level which involve grammar, spelling, punctuation, pronunciation, and reading. For a successful health care practitioner needs to be very fluent in English, these days, regardless of the country in which they practice. Colonialism? Yes, unfortunately so! But, no matter what the circumstances, English has pretty much become a universal world-wide language, and a high degree of proficiency in it is required for the health care professions. The transitions you need to make to rise up will not be easy. There is no easy way out to making such advancements. But if you truly believe in and have passion for becoming the kind of provider who can produce lasting results for clients, you will embrace the difficulties and forge ahead, expanding and gaining in competencies all the way. In this country, we have funding for anyone wanting to advance their career. I don’t know what opportunities like that exist in Costa Rica. It would be very important to investigate and compare, and see which country offers you the best possible options for funding your education, and advancements into the next level of your life. An ambitious undertaking? Yes! But, with the passion and the drive, you would have the means to pursue things to the hilt. And the financial support to do so. Remember, there is never an easy way out! But stir up the fires of passion for the work, and you’ll achieve and even exceed your dreams.
hi ty i already provide results with acupressure and reflexology and energy and massage. not sure what u understood…will keep reading to open my mind to more ty. joanna
Dear James,
Reading between the lines, it seems that you’ve been stuck in the Muck for a very long time, first on the battlefield, and also, on this side of life, grunging along at work that depresses you, that you have to force yourself to tolerate.
So, the questions become these: What do you like doing? Not for a job, but what do you like doing, in your time off. What do you love? Let’s abolish this notion of skills. That’s a kind of a rotten, stinky notion, when it comes to discovering “what makes your socks go up and down.” I have been an entrepreneur for about 30 or 40 years, and so I’m good at accounting. And I’ve also been a professional cook and a professional baker. I’m good at these things. And I’m good at mopping floors. But, I don’t love doing any of them. In fact, I Hate Accounting! AGGGHHH! But I’m good at it.
What you love doing, that you’re good at (talented at) is what I call your right livelihood. Whether you get paid for it or not, especially at first.
Me, I love nature. I always have, very much, and it soothes my soul as nothing else does. I live in Washington State, which has some of the most magnificent mountains in the world. So the way that pans out for me is that I happen to be good at photography. That’s one of my talents. So I do wilderness photography and close-ups of wildflowers. I’m also a musician. And a writer. And a speaker.
And a professional storyteller–storytelling is almost considered a lost art these days. And a counselor–I hold a master’s degree and a professional license as a psychotherapist.
Oh, and then, I get really excited about astrophysics. Don’t ask me why; I just do! The pictures that the Hubble telescope and the other one, that goes way out into outer space, are utterly fascinating. This is a fascination that I haven’t developed and am not likely to. And I’m a reader. Always reading and reading. Stuff that I want to read.
None of these things came to me through the work world. They all came at various times in my life, and some of them came when I was little. The love of nature has always been with me. I learned to read music when I was 5 years old, but piano lessons were no good. Wrong instrument. I couldn’t make any progress on the piano. But, beginning in the 4th grade, I got a chance to learn to play the viola, and WOW! That really took me places!
I was reading at genius level–at the 6th grade level by the 2nd grade. And I read all the fairy tales and folklore that I could get my grubby little hands on. By the time I was about 10 or so, I had read all the fairy tales in our branch library, and was hungering for more! Sometimes, I think that maybe I would have been an astrophysicist, or an astronaut. The business of becoming a storyteller (another talent) just was an extension of all the reading I’d been doing. When I was a kid, the other neighbor kids and I were always making up stories and acting them out, and even costuming for them, sometimes. I would assign roles to the other kids, and we would develop the plot lines from there. (Cecil B. DeMille, move over! Here I come!)
There’s passion behind everything that I ever did. It’s not ever totally possible to explain in words where the excitement, the love, ever came from, in words. And that’s where the talents lie, I’m convinced, in all of us. And what’s more, I am totally convinced that people have about half a dozen talents, instead of one or zero like they think they have. So . . . not when you’re at work, but on your time off, what do you like doing? What do you love? Can you say, without quite knowing why, that you’re attracted to something, the way that I’m drawn to astrophysics? I am also fascinated by ancient cultures. And by geology. I’m a rock nut. And a shell nut. I live by the beach and can’t come back from the beach without rocks and shells in my pockets. And, get me in a rock shop, and you can’t get me out of there for 3 1/2 hours! I’m running my hands through the big bin of tumbled and polished stones, mostly agates and picture jasper, as if they were rare diamonds and emeralds and rubies. Of course, I love those too!
And it just is that way. I don’t know why.
The important piece is that all this came to me during my childhood or during the spare time of my life. Yes, I can cook and bake, and I’m good at it, but that’s not where my passions are. Those are skills, and something that would be good survival work, as long as Covid weren’t shutting the restaurants down, the way it did. I didn’t discover my talents in speaking until midlife, and counseling about the same time.
So, I hope that by sharing all this, it gives you some idea of where talents and passions lie. “Flow” happens when you are doing something that you love, and you lose track of time when you’re doing it, because it’s fun or because it’s really engrossing.
Barbara Sher had an exercise that was a good one for awakening one to life, to oneself, and it is this: Get out an 8 1/2 x 11 piece of paper, and number down the left hand side, 1 to 25. At the top of the page, put the heading, “25 Things I like to do” For me, the list ranges from cross country skiing to astrophysics, to doing road trips, but you get to make your own list. And I don’t care if you have to write, “scratching when it itches,” as Barbara put it, but develop your list! When you write, try to go as fast as you can, without putting tons of thought into it. This ought to be a fairly spontaneous exercise.
A final word: My front door is a bulletin board. There are many signs up there, and quotes. One of Barbara Sher’s is, “How you see yourself should not be your focus. I’d like to talk you (and everyone else on the planet) out of spending time on self mind- control, and just concentrate on the “work” of doing what you love.
One more thing: Get ahold of Barbara’s book, “Wishcraft, How to Get What You Really Want,” and pay particular attention to the Ideal Day exercise. But try the list of 25 things first, and begin implementing these. I hope that this has helped.
i really appreciated what u wrote and it inspired me. thank you again.
i will write that list of 25 but perhaps also a micro version of which aspect i love of what i love.
I created a sound machine that plays frequencies to balance chakras and promote natural healing, including but not limited to mental health, mood, calm, balance, pain management, sleep, anxiety, ptsd, autism, etc.
I’m on Amazon, I have a website. I’d like to get into stores and also find affiliate marketing. How can I affordably get this product out to people who are looking for wellness through sound? I’ve also recorded a bunch of videos, started an instagram and tiktok. I tried ppc on amazon but don’t know how to optomize so I’m hiring someone from upwork. Any suggestions? I would be grateful.
i would say to find your bottleneck. you have a product, and maybe a target audience. do you know what’s the most immediate obstacle in front of you? i would guess its your audience, and not being super highly defined such that they are biting like hungry fish bc the bait is 100% what they eat. check out hormozi, he has a step by step from zero ideas all the way up. free courses.
https://www.acquisition.com/training/offers
A lot of yoga studios have products for sale in their lobbies and the people who attend yoga are probably the same people who would be interested in your product. Maybe start with local yoga studios or other like minded places and see if they would put your product there.
Dear Tiffany,
There are Reiki Masters and others who do sound bathing as part of their holistic treatments. I know this, because I am affiliated with a metaphysical store that also offers what they call “Reiki Share,” where people come together to share Reiki treatments and to get into discussion afterwards. And there is a long hallway, with little offices off of it on either side, where massage therapists and other healers do their work. I would say to locate places like this in your area and hobnob–go to, interact with, participate in programs, become a part of the scene, in as many places as you can. And, of course, have plenty of business cars to distribute, and also, develop a description about your machine that can be handed to people. Are you interested in wholesaling or retailing your product? My idea is, the more you rub elbows with the right interested parties, the more they will get to know you, and by extension, your product. This is no longer the time for cutthroat competition. The day of the lone wolf is over. So, as long as you are hobnobbing, go about learning, in as friendly a manner as possible, how they market things. Hopefully, they will be willing to help with marketing advice. I have known a woman who uses gongs and singing bowls to achieve somewhat similar results. She worked her day job very intensely, Monday through Thursday, and then, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, was her time for working with the gongs and singing bowls. If you get into the metaphysical community, you will find that you will be able to discover and get into all sorts of metaphysical fairs, or psychic fairs. These aren’t just for psychic readers, but vendors also, and people vend all sorts of things. They also have healing sessions going on right there. So this could be a way to be able to give hands-on demonstrations about how your machine works, and to meet people who are interested. The fairs are not just little things, either. There are some mighty big expos in the New Age/Psychic/Metaphysical movement. I really think that the electronic marketing only goes so far, and doesn’t work as well as print media and advertising used to. and is no substitute for really getting out there in person, getting involved with the fairs, and the expos, and really doing the legwork. I hope this has helped, at least a little.
hi ty for this
I am part of a community that also teaches how to take ur mess to message which i found very liberating and useful. I was seeking too on how my pain would alchemize… this is truly helpful
and not the least…
the only reason there is a pearl and that chemicals causes these pearls to form
IS BECAUSE OF PAIN.
ty for ur note again.
I need help teasing out my one thing. My flow state. I call it a pearl. A beautiful thing that an oyster spends years producing – something gorgeous and precious to present as a present. to contribute. I feel like I’m wasting time on insignificant stuff that will not compound or accrete into a pearl. I am reading ‘if only i knew what it was’.
I think the path to my pearl is something in the constellation of these words.
trail guide, strategy, traction, accuracy of progress, correctness. teacher, mentor. designer,
Here’s an anecdote that I think holds a key. I was in baghdad fighting a war. we had one higher headquarters doing our things in one way for a while, then changed out to a different headquarters. they initially said, things stay the same, then changed a week or so later. (I understand with maturity that its a defensiveness, and resistance to change that drove my reaction, a threat to my competence, but i think what bubbled up is interesting) i remember screaming to myself, IF YOU WANNA BE IN CHARGE, THEN BE IN CHARGE. pick a thing and stick with it. we are literally fighting a war here, and have no time to deal with your wiffle waffle of changing your mind. (while at the same time recognizing authority and we followed orders) The feeling i have now, many years later, is around competence, traction, and worthiness of effort. in my head it sounds like this – we are literally lethal. we can do anything. we don’t wanna be lead by incompetence, I’m not willing to do all this effort of truly critical lethality for a wishy washy mess of a boss. do better. I can literally do anything, if only i knew what it was.
And in an act of oversharing, another. i know where my resistance is. my mother set the wrong message for me. she communicated and demonstrated that anyone who enjoyed their life was evil. happiness cannot be earned or deserved. any temporary joy was to be purchased not with service to others, but specifically, self deprecating doormat sacrifice and painful giving. joy is selfish, evil, and injurious to others (who don’t recognize or appreciate the sacrifice anyhow) so now as i endeavor to even find my pearl, I am hampered by this bullshit.
maybe one more – i like watch internals, motorcycles and handguns. for me the common item is the mechanism that harnesses their energy by spartan, tight, small, effective brilliant engineering marvels that transfers that power out to a controlled, powerful output. effective. accurate, controlled, correct.
how can i know what actions are in that zone? what skills, jobs, hobbies are the ones that do build the pearl? is it joy? Is my indicator the units of time spent in ‘flow’ and joy?
What will be different once I have the scent of the trail? Once I have convinced myself that I’m on the correct path. fucking everything. i have so much self doubt over this apprehension to choose a path. fomo, or hesitation, or the general feeling of spinning my wheels has got me stuck in life. to know that the path im on is mine would mean all my obstacles are MINE. mine to actually work on and care about. not bullshit at work that i need to motivate myself to care about.
(more for me than you is yet another footnote – this feeling of no traction is something i have screamed to my therapist about. the deep frustration with life and everyone i interact with feels like this. I’m a trained pilot. I’m in a cockpit. i see the button that says engine start. i hit it but the blinkers come on. the blinker button does the landing gear. nothing works. 100% of the labels are wrong. and more frustrating, is that sometimes they do work. which might seem like a start, but is only more insultingly depressing when they aren’t repeatable, and don’t do what they say when i reach for them a second time. i hate this muck. this mud i’m floundering in)
how can i convince myself – and my mothers poor advice – that i am on a path i like to get to somewhere i love, with joy?
ok people. what’s the job for me. its gotta be self employed. clearly i lack office culture. please please gimmie your stream of consciousness response here. please forward my ramblings to someone who might whiteboard it all out and actually see the constellation i can’t.
James, I’ve been self-employed most of my long life, but I am incredibly thankful for all that I learned while working as an employee in a small business, learning from the four owners, before I went out on my own. I highly recommend it, if you can find the right people, doing work you find valuable.
I am also thankful that I took time out from my business to have frequent lunches with other self-employed people in my line of work. It’s way too easy to stagnate without new ideas to challenge some of our great ones.
And I heard a great tip at an Idea Party for someone self-employed in a consulting type job who wanted to increase his sales a lot: hang out with people who love selling.
Barbara Sher often said that there were four big emotions: fear, sadness, anger, and joy, and each of us works hard to avoid feeling one of them. When people asked her how anyone could want to avoid joy, there was always a chorus of people raised by mothers (or fathers) like yours. So, you might want to get curious about which one you’re avoiding, and go enjoy the one she couldn’t.