Hanging Out


Hanging Out Registration Re-Opens in April 2023

Hanging Out will be the jewel in the crown of Barbara’s Club. To be honest, I think it’s going to be the jewel in the crown of my lifetime’s work. That’s what it feels like. —Barbara Sher, 2012

Barbara called this members-only program Hanging Out, because she wanted it to be like those wonderful moments just hanging out together at her retreats and weekend workshops. Patty Newbold will be your guide now that Barbara is no longer with us.

Registration Re-Opens April 6, 2023
$197 for a full year

Barbara put together her most beloved ideas and stories and wrote her best stuff ever for Hanging Out. This was bigger than writing another book. It was a huge job, but every minute was a labor of love for her. And with this program she gives you videos from her retreats and workshops, loads of audio, new interactive stuff and other amazing things we can’t describe here or we’ll go on forever. All this in addition to the exercises that made a big difference to you in the past.

After almost a year HO is still my favourite thing on the internet and in my inbox. So many things I could just read over and over and find something each time. The world didn’t change but I’m different in it. -JD

I’m excited about this exercise. I’ve printed it out to work on over the weekend. Barbara, I look forward to working it through and circling back. You’re a gemstone! -A Hanging Out member in Week 38

Once you’re a member, the rest will be easy. Every week, three times a week, via email, I’ll send you some very special things to read, watch and do. They’re not what you expect, I’m pretty sure of that. As much as you may like my books, what you’re going to find in Hanging Out is very new and very different. You’ll want to make comments, compare notes and talk to the other members of Hanging Out, and that’s exactly what happens here. It changes the whole experience into something entirely new, something most of us are missing and need as much as vitamins and sunshine. The effect on most members has been profound.

Registration Re-Opens April 6, 2023
$197 for a full year


You can’t get Hanging Out all at once like a book that ends up on that pile of books you plan to read, and you can’t stick it back on your bookshelf and forget what your life is supposed to be. Barbara learned too much about what’s important for us humans to take that kind of chance.

You’ll receive emails from her every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a year, announcing the day’s video, audio message, Identity Exercise, Reality Series success story or Brain Candy she prepared for you. Barbara’s Director of Sher Success Teams and WriteSpeak Coach, Patty Newbold, will be reading and responding to your online comments. You’ll also be able to read Barbara’s replies to comments from our first eight years of Hanging Out.

Hanging out has really developed clarity in my life. One thing that I love about you Barbara is that you never tell anyone to just try harder and you don’t shame in any way. You support and encourage which is so very rare. You make sense of the non-sense. This group has provided something wonderful for me. Even the subtle messages are always very powerful. —Michelle

So what is it?

It’s easier to say what it’s not. Hanging Out is not a how-to course or a motivation program. I sometimes think it’s designed for people who have worked too hard and forgot what it’s like to wake up in a goal-free world full of fresh, stimulating ideas, fun and camaraderie.

I’ll always have courses for you on Barbara’s Club so you can find your dreams and achieve your goals, but Hanging Out is not about goal achievement. Instead, it’s more like what one member called “a profound and delicious form of Identity Rehab.”

I absolutely love the idea of Barbara’s Club being integrated into the everyday world—nothing to leave behind—and a consistent source of inspiration. Thank you! —Victoria, by email

If you join us here, Barbara’s emails and online messages will be popping into your life briefly, happily and relentlessly, over and over, waking up your senses, making you laugh and go exploring and, most important of all, helping you remember who you are and how good life is supposed to be.

You’ll receive emails from Barbara every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a year, announcing the day’s video, audio message, Identity Exercise, Reality Series success story or Brain Candy she prepared for you. Barbara’s Director of Sher Success Teams and WriteSpeak Coach, Patty Newbold, will be reading and responding to your online comments. You’ll also be able to read Barbara’s replies to comments from our first eight years of Hanging Out, before she passed away.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for creating Hanging Out with Barbara. There have been so many “favorite” posts. One that stands out is your description of how you decorated your apartment with all the glorious references to color. I wanted to sink into one of your armchairs and absorb it all. Finding our originality. Yes. Discovering ways to express it. Yes. Realizing that time is short and excuses long. Yes. Boxing up all our should, would and could and relaxing into today, into now, into this moment. Yes. Finding that joy is the reward for allowing oneself to just be who you are. Yes. So many wonderful lessons I have learned, relearned, and unlearned this year…What I have learned this year has changed my life. For that I am eternally grateful. – A Hanging Out Member at the end of the year

No risk – full refund if you cancel your subscription within the first 30 days

30 day money back guarantee$197 for a full year

OR pay by the month – $24 per month

Registration Re-Opens on April 6, 2023


Buying a membership for someone else? Purchase a gift certificate. Good for a full year of Hanging Out at the then-current price whenever your recipient registers, which must be during an open registration period.

Purchase a gift certificate
$197 for a full year membership gift certificate

Pay $197 for a gift certificate to Hanging Out with PayPal or Stripe

Gift certificate mailed within 48 hours. Contact webmaster@barbarasclub.com if you do not receive yours.

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856 thoughts on “Hanging Out

  1. Hi Patty, I went through part of Hanging Out a few years ago. I wasn’t able to stay with it. I think we get lifetime access to Hanging Out if we paid previously. Is that true? I don’t seem to be able to access the course. I am logged in, just can’t locate a link to access Hanging Out. Will you give me instructions for accessing Hanging Out?

    Also, is it possible to get back on the email prompt list? That would help me stay active this time.

    Thanks a billion!
    Terri

    • Terri, while you are logged in, click on Hanging Out in the menu bar. This should take you to a list of links to the messages from Barbara and to a button to purchase the emails for just $12. If it does not work as promised, please write to me at webmaster@barbarasclub.com

  2. Beware glittering generalities. This being said: What seems appealing about Barbara Sher’s TED talk, beyond the mere condemnation of ubiquitous forced good cheer, is the promise of collaboration in actual mutual assistance. Attempt whereof such as can actually get one expelled from typical online support groups! Although some of the anecdotes do seem farfetched.

    Find my own group concept on my website.

    • They DO seem farfetched, but they all happened. It is amazing how many wishes we all have the power to make come true for others. At one of my Idea Parties, I had a bunch of artists and a corporate training facilitator. When one of the artists said she simply could not get good photos of her textured paintings to enter art shows, it was the corporate training facilitator who whipped out the business card of the photographer responsible for several of his wife’s paintings appearing in Architectural Digest, as well art shows.

      Unlike Ronnie’s team, not many Idea Parties turn into the group painting someone’s apartment or throwing parties to find a wife for that same member, but they do result in great ideas, critically important contacts, needed information, and even donated equipment or supplies.

      • But Hanging Out is not an Idea Party. It’s an amazing form of writing that Barbara explored to get us peeling away the layers of who we really are. She included audios and videos on Mondays that set a tone for the week, a brief message to think about. On Wednesdays, she shares fascinating but simple exercises to uncover what makes us tick and what we’re here to share with others. And she mixes these up with stories of people who took really surprising routes to doing what they love, so that we stop trying to plot a way to leap from here to there before we even really know what there looks like. Then on Fridays, she delights us with Brain Candy, topics and stories and musicians and interactive websites that surprised her into recognizing more about what she loved. I think these get the most comments of all, because they really do light little candle flames deep inside and spur us to pursue more.

    • If you are on the Barbara Sher Newsletter mailing list, we will send you a reminder. You can join right on the page, under her photo.

  3. I stumbled upon one of Barbara’s YouTube videos this morning. A Message From The Universe, for sure. 😉 I have ordered a couple of books, and would now LOVE to join Hanging Out! Sadly, this a “bad moment” for me to spend this money, but I WILL have that worked out before April … Could you email me a reminder when registration opens? Thank you for keeping this alive!

  4. Barbara: I know just how you feel. I’ve been encouraged to feel good about my various interests and lack of sustained focus by Barbara Sher’s description of (I believe I have the right name) scanners. When I realized there were more people out there like me, I didn’t feel so alone. Patty, I appreciated your comment about the bees. That’s a good mental picture for me to hold. What if our purpose is to do little things that have ripple effects for others? What if we came here to hold loving energy for others and occasionally step on stage for just a moment to help someone’s life plot propelled forward or take that much needed rest. Appreciating all of the opportunities to bring joy to the world through little acts of kindness when all the drama is swirling around us is no small contribution. Please know that you are not alone and are appreciated. You should hear the angels and other nonphysical beings rejoice in all the parts you play! Please stay connected with this group and be an active member. It will help- guaranteed!

  5. Dearest Barbara,
    Please Help! I am a lost 70 year old woman who has yet to discover who I am and what my purpose is. One minute I think I know what my purpose is and the next minute I’m not motivated. I love encouraging others, I love art. I love making encouragement cards, I have a voice for singing, but does not always feel motivated to sing because of self conscieness and not using that gift on a regular basis. I like painting from time to time, I like writing but I never stick with anything to pursue any of the dreams in my heart. In the last 50 years of my life, I am only existing. I have never had much encouragement from others and feel like I need a family of encouragers. I know I have a lot of catching up to do, but I don’t know where to begin and even when I begin something, somewhere along the way I lose intrest. I am a loner and feel discouraged all the time. I could use a lot of love and some
    encouragement and help right now. I desire to be fulfilled before I close my
    eyes here on this earth. Please help. I feel like a Jack of All Trades and master at none.

    • Cherrrie, as Barbara used to say, no one says “bad bee!” when a bee tires of the nectar in one flower and moves to the next. Instead of trying to find that one purpose or interest, enjoy them all. Schedule time to do each of them every week. Maybe once a month or once a quarter for some of them. At 70, you probably have more free time than you did earlier in life. You can bloom now.

      Make those encouragement cards and take them to local gift shops. When you find the right shop, you’ll get lots of encouragement to continue them. Until then, instead of putting everything on the line every time you contact a store, give yourself a rejection goal: no matter what happens, you need to keep calling or dropping in until you get 3 rejections for the day. It’s actually more fun that way, and the folks who say “yes” will show up, but knowing that you’re not done when the do somehow changes everything about putting your work out there for people who need it.

      Sing. Sing at home, while you’re painting or washing the floor while your body remembers what fun it is. Then find people who need music so much that they won’t even think of criticizing (like children or those with dementia or those who feel silly singing alone) and sing for them. Soon, you’ll see what Barbara would tell all of her writing and public speaking students: if you’re thinking about how you look or sound, you’re paying attention to the wrong person, like a chef who refuses to feed a starving man until he earns his first Michelin star. Your talent for singing was given to you for all those people who need to hear music, not to make you look or sound special or better.

      And write. Write letters you would send to your niece if you had a niece and she had problems you now know the answers to at 70. Write them on pretty paper and tie them with a gorgeous bow, until you have enough of them to create a very special book that will do for others what Barbara has done for us.

      Make it OK to paint from time to time. You could keep an easel set up with some paints in airtight containers, so when the time comes, you can start painting right away and stop again until the next time you feel like painting, leaving that unfinished canvas on display to reminder you how much you enjoy it. Or you could sign up for painting classes and paint for a few weeks with other people, then put it away, knowing you don’t need to get any better at something that brings you joy. You just need to remember to do it.

      So many of us who were inspired by Barbara are Jacks of All Trades and masters of none. It’s a lifestyle, a fine one. We bring things to other people and projects that masters don’t. Self-publishing is a thing in large part because Steve Jobs remembered enjoying his calligraphy classes when trying to figure out what personal computers should do. Now we can all produce printed materials that used to take specialists. And what master of car design would ever have imagined that cars would compete on their ability to play musical recordings in 2023? Where would we be in this pandemic with only masters of how to teach, heal, entertain, and sell food in a non-pandemic world? It’s the Jacks of All Trades who are bringing together the masters to work on unexpected solutions for very different times.

      • I feel as if I found kindred spirits here being as I often am reminded of this quote when I am able to help friends with unique solutions to problems because I am able to tie together disparate ideas, but it’s in the quote full version which I am reminded.

        “A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one”

        I came across Barbara’s TedTalk and thought that I should look into the groups that she was involved in a bit. She had such a warm and wholesome energy. That, as well as Barbara saying that she was from the “old school” reminded me or my grandmother. They will both be dearly missed and often thought of fondly, I’m sure.

        I’ve had a real rough time of it for many, many years now and lately have been working on beginning a new chapter of my life. I felt it is long overdue and know that I have so much that I can offer to those I love and care for, and to the world being as that I believe that the path to true happiness and fulfillment is through helping others. Barbara inspired me to find a place to declare my wish and obstacle to the universe, even if it is something that the universe would have me do myself, I just felt that I should put that energy out there and write it to express my will to begin to make progress. My wish is kind of dual-natured in the sense that itself is an obstacle for many other things I would like to do in my life like go back to school and find somewhere where I can begin to be of service to others. So, my wish is that my life would greatly benefit in so many ways, from health to socializing in general, if my teeth were fixed. After that, the world better watch out for Mike because it’s not going to know what hit it.

        I would go a bit more into my situation and the history of it but this post is quite long; so, I will end it here. I hope things are well for y’all and getting even better. Please send prayers and/or good vibes my way. I could really use it. 8)

        • Mike, is there a school of dentistry near you? Most of them welcome messed-up teeth (as learning experiences), do the work on a sliding scale (with the top end a lot lower than most dentists and endodontists), and do excellent work because the student dentists discuss the work with their professors first, take their time, and have every step checked by one or more faculty members.

    • Hi Cherrie!
      When I read your post I saw a very interesting woman who loves: art, encouraging others, and making encouraging cards. She also enjoys singing and she likes to paint from time to time and she also enjoys writing. Enjoying what we enjoy in life is a great gift to ourselves and to others.

      You said you had not found your purpose.
      You are an encourager, that is huge! You send out love and optimism to others. That is a beautiful, wonderful and special gift the world desperately needs! Keep it up!

      I also recognized that you noted one “need”, a family of encouragers. And that you “could use a lot of love.”
      I would love to see you find a group of positive people who could encourage you on a regular basis.
      There are groups for everyone. I walked into a writers group years ago and we are still meeting. The meeting itself is as important as the writing.
      You sound like a creative, interesting, loving person. I would love for you to “find your people”. A group who are positive and supportive to you. You deserve that.
      I hope you will look for creative groups in your area. There is Meetup.com, it has a list every type of group you can imagine.
      If you want to sell your cards, a creative place is ESTY on the internet. A friend of mine sells a lot of items on it.
      Good luck. Please keep posting so we know how you are doing!

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