How Does the Online Idea Party Work?
You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)
The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.
Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:
Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital
I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store
Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!
And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.
(Your first comment below has to be approved, so it may not display instantly depending on the time of the day. Once your email address is approved you can post instantly. If you want your own profile photo to show up beside your comments, instead of the cute little design, upload your photo on Gravatar.com and give them an hour or so to make it happen.)
My wish:
to be in a joyful, long term (like, rest of my life) romantic partnership
and to be a singer, recording original music and performing , and traveling sometimes
my obstacle:
lack of emotional capacity for commitment to a relationship like the one I want. Maybe.
And lacking determination, discipline, motivation and inspiration to do music in a consistent way.
I feel like I follow my highs and lows, and throw out relationships, ideas and projects when I am in my low dip…. so I have regret about giving up on things I’ve built up then thrown out when the going got tough or I hit a plateau…. and just “wasn’t feeling it anymore “. So I guess I feel like I haven’t built a long term or substantial relationship with a man or with music, or much else really, because of my flighty ness…. I’m scared if I stay when it isn’t fun anymore, that I’ll be stuck forever in unhappiness and so I need to get out!
Hey Katie,
I’m not so good at relationships, but I tend to think that if you’re doing what you love to do you’ll naturally attract like-minded people–romantic partners included.
As far as singing goes, have you put any samples of your voice up on the net yet? ReverbNation, Soundcloud, Myspace are good ones (though not many ppl use Myspace anymore.)
If you have a computer at home, you can record your voice using Audacity (a free software) or Garageband (much better and available on Mac computers for free.) All you need is a computer w/Internet access. Save the file as an mp3 to easily upload it onto a web site.
If you record an original song or even a part of a song you can upload it onto ReverbNation, for example, and find other musicians to add as “friends.” In fact, I’d like to add you, as I’m a musician and always looking to collaborate w/singers. (I’m not much of a singer myself.) If you set up a site on RN. let me know and I’ll add you as a friend.
Maybe putting one of your songs on the net will inspire you to work on musical projects. Also ppl on RN aren’t critical, so you’re not likely to get attacked by anyone (as on Youtube, for ex.) People are pretty supportive on RN.
Also if you like to write songs, maybe you could enter a songwriting competition. That’s temporary, doesn’t require a long-term commitment and might give you the excitement you’re looking for? I found these on a web search: JohnLennonSongwritingContest (JLSC), UnsignedOnly, IndieInternational, etc. (add the .com) They all seem to charge $30 per entry 🙁
Anyway, hope the above inspires you if only a little. Let me know if you set up an RN site.
Thanks. I did sign up for RN but never added any music or anything. I do have some music on sound cloud and some other sites from years ago. If you Google search my name you will even see a few videos of old school ‘performances’…. if you like my voice, I’m happy to collaborate with you
Hi Katie
You said one obstacle is “lack of emotional capacity for commitment to a relationship”
That’s probably not true. I expect you just haven’t found a suitable person to commit yourself to yet. Some people are lucky to find a good partner early in life without much effort, but many others have to try out a lot of duds and not-quite-rights before finding someone they want to stay with forever.
“I’m scared if I stay when it isn’t fun anymore, that I’ll be stuck forever in unhappiness and so I need to get out!”
Who says you should stay when you don’t want to any more?
If you had been together a long time, and most of it was good, and you hit a bad patch, it would probably be worth staying for a while and trying to solve the problems before giving up on the relationship, as long as it isn’t abusive. You should never put up with abuse.
But you seem to be talking about the fun disappearing after only a short time, when you have no serious commitments to each other like marriage or children or joint mortgages. Trust your feelings on this. If it isn’t fun any more, and there isn’t any reason that can be resolved e.g. illness or a stressful event, and you’re feeling trapped and unhappy, get out. It’s far better to be single than in a bad relationship.
And I agree with meri. Many people I know in successful relationships found their partners through mutual interests, so I expect that’s how you’ll find someone too. Social forms of dancing are particularly good for that, if you like dancing.
“And lacking determination, discipline, motivation and inspiration to do music in a consistent way.”
Very few normal human beings have the determination, discipline, motivation and inspiration to do anything in a consistent way entirely on their own. It sounds like what you need is some other people to do music with, who will expect you to be in certain places at certain times to do it with them. Barbara calls that structure and accountability.
There are many options for getting this, depending on your preferred musical genres, styles, places of performance etc., but here are a few suggestions:
Join a choir, or an amateur operatics group, or a musical theatre company, or a folk and blues club. Enrol for a course or classes or a series of workshops, or hire a private teacher or coach. Find some other singers or musicians to meet regularly for jam sessions. Find a backing musician or an electronic music wizard or a band that wants a singer to practice and experiment with.
Share a house or apartment with singers and musicians. Form an acapella singing duo or trio with friends. Teach people to sing or play. Help with a community music project. Sing around a campfire with scouts or guides. Go regularly to open mic nights, gigs, festivals, clubs, lectures, recitals, concerts, jam sessions, CD launchings etc. so people get to know you and expect you to be there. Offer to perform at them if appropriate. Find an older woman singer you admire who can be an informal mentor to you, and maybe you can help her with something in return. Get a small regular singing gig in a club or bar, or cafe, paid or unpaid, or do a regular busking spot in the street.
And find some music festivals to mark on your calendar for the next year or two and give yourself some good reasons to go travelling.
And of course online networking with musicians and singers and fans on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn etc.
“So I guess I feel like I haven’t built a long term or substantial relationship with a man or with music, or much else really, because of my flighty ness….” is it really flighty ness, or are you a Scanner who hates boredom and is always looking for something new to learn?
Hey. Thanks for all the ideas and feedback. You are piggybacking right about not funding the right person. I don’t feel like I’ve ever dated anyone who respected or understood me. And I’m not feeling too happy about that at the moment. I hope I can find someone like that!
As for singing. …I have met a few people in town and tried making music with them. It had been very awkward and didn’t seem to go anywhere but I’m gonna keep on giving it my best shot. Singing alone feels the easiest right now, but like you said, it makes it difficult when the isn’t someone else holding you accountable for anything to move forward with ideas.
Katie, it’s easy to get scared that a commitment will tie you to something awful or keep you from something better — if you just let relationships happen to you. But what if you had the skills to make them fun again, to take care of yourself through the rough patches (because one or both of you will surely get seriously ill or depressed or in a financial mess of the course of any relationship), to deal with your unmet needs, and to choose someone less likely to disappoint?
One of the difficulties of commitment phobia is that it leads you to rush into deep water quickly, which makes your chances of things going badly wrong a lot greater. After a few experiences like that, you start yo-yoing, racing out but then backtracking as quickly as you can, before the pain hits, never quite grasping that the pain hits because you rush out there, even when you’re with a great partner.
Hmmm… that sounds vaguely familiar.
Being able to choose someone who is less likely to disappoint sounds like a great skill! Is there really a way to do that?
Meri,
You deserve many replies. Yes, connections and where you live do make a difference, but hopefully there will be some good people out there who, even if they do not personally know how they can help will have friends who can and would help you.
I will say that coming from musicians (classical) I know that it is good to be open to crossing lines – good music that is really tight, with really musically gifted people, is just that.
Remember the three tenors? They opened people to the world of opera or at least gave them an appreciation for voices that are not only great, but musically powerful and well trained. So I would say that if possible, think of musical ideas that cannot be categorized, that are just beautiful because they are musically sound and draw people in.
Anyone out there with some great connections? Meri deserves some help.
Love, Faithy
Thanks Faithy! Your replies are always so insightful. I really appreciate it. 🙂 I think my lengthy post might have scared people away but I always have trouble keeping it short.
You are so right about music. I think one mistake I made in the past is that I was too focused on a specific genre of music. However, now I describe my style as “gypsy rock” because I incorporate a little bit of jazz/blues/Classical and everything from Mozart to George Gershwin to current indie and heavy metal influences. I studied Classical and Spanish Flamenco guitar. I love mixing styles of music. I have a wedding gig coming up and need to learn to play the songs they requested, so it’s a chance for me to increase my repertoire. I really like challenges like that. Also it’s a little bit of extra money.
I think I’m just feeling discouraged because there are so few opportunities where I live right now. I rarely perform publicly anymore, and I think I’m losing my skill at performing as a result. There just aren’t a lot of places to play out here & the locals aren’t interested in original music. I think I might need to just focus on moving out of here. I’ve been trying to get the money saved up for a couple years now, but I can’t seem to find a job that pays well, so I’m actually contemplating going to a homeless shelter for a while in the city of my choice because I don’t think I’m going to be able to get the $$ saved up to easily move. Right now, I can’t figure out whether I’m just crazy or just in the wrong city because I just don’t find people I can talk to at all out here. Perhaps being in another city with a better environment will open doors for me?
However, I’m also working on getting my ESL teaching certificate, so maybe my school will help me find a job in my city of choice too.
And I like to make videos, so I was thinking maybe some businesses in the area might pay me to make videos advertising their stores. One advantage to living in a poor city is that most of the big corporations have left, so there are lots of small, locally-owned businesses out here. I also found out about a flea market in my area and I’m going to try my luck again selling my handmade jewelry again, as well as other things I have that I don’t need. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to return to the big city again, and it might be too late for me to pursue these impractical artistic dreams but at least with a teaching certificate I can travel, and that would be fun.
If you do decide to move, and are looking for different options for living. …a homeless shelter is one option. There is also an really amazing website. .. WWOOF USA. … willing workers on organic farms. There are a lot of opportunities to do work trade for food and lodging….lots of different situations and you can meet people and learn new things while also pursuing your music. Some “farms” even are music or art focused.
Thanks. I’ll look into this again. The impression I’d gotten was that the most “glamorous” places are competitive and they have a waiting list, but I didn’t really apply after all so my impression may be wrong. Perhaps I’ll apply and just see what happens.
I’ve had problems earning money for a few years now, though, so it seems pretty hopeless. I’m not getting any younger… And it almost seems like it was just not meant to be for me. 🙁
There are so many farms to apply to! I’m not sure what town you live in, or what big city you want to be near, but there are tons of options on that site, so if you can’t find something right where you want to be, you could expand your range if you are flexible.
I definitely understand the feeling of hopelessness about money making. It can be really frustrating when you keep feeling like you are hitting some invisible wall. All I can do is encourage you to keep reading out like you are doing. …. Both online and just out in the world. People want to be inspired just as much as you do, and you are definitely someone who can inspire people around you, if you just keep sharing what you are doing and don’t stay too isolated.
OK, I’m finally going to post my wish/obstacle here. It may not be the right time, as I’m in a very negative frame of mind right now, but here goes. I’ll try to sound cheerful as I write this:
Wish: To earn a living and get recognition and appreciation from others doing what I love. I’m very, very creative. I’m a musician (electric and acoustic guitar/pop-rock), writer and actress. I’ve started making short films too. I made a documentary which aired at some cafes and on cable access, and some other short videos of events in my area as well as comedy videos. I love comedy!
I’ve written poetry, short stories, and other articles, including reviews of rock bands. I have a memoir I’ve written and am working on a book of guitar lessons as well as a collection of essays. (I’ll need to self-publish as agents/publishers aren’t interested due to my tiny platform. Size matters!) I’ve submitted short stories and articles to magazines that pay writers but never heard back. Guess I’ll have to get published some more for no money but the problem is…then I have no money. The wish is to earn money doing what I love and to not have to keep doing this stuff for free. (Only because the day job/good-enough job doesn’t exist anymore.)
I’ve always wanted to play in a rock band. I write my own songs, but it doesn’t need to even be my own band. I’d gladly play guitar in someone else’s band, playing someone else’s songs, but the obstacles, the obstacles…
I’d like to get more of my writing published and to get paid for it.
I’d always wanted to act in independent films but most of the roles are for very young women, so that’s why I’ve started making my own films. I cast myself in my own short films/videos, so I’m able to pursue acting that way, but, again, then I’m not making money. And it takes a lot of time, effort and money to make a film. (I’ve done it on a shoestring budget but it’s hard.)
Obstacles: I know I’m talented but I can’t seem to get others to support my work. I also don’t have money to invest and am struggling quite a bit financially, have been for years, and it’s making me crazy! (And yes, I mean that literally.)
In music, it’s mainly the gender issue. I admit, I wanted to play guitar because people told me, “Girls can’t play guitar,” just to be rebellious, so it’s partly my fault, but I really didn’t think being a female musician would hold me back. I thought rock music was supposed to be rebellious? But I’ve found over the years that it’s been impossible to make it as a woman in the music industry. Most musicians are male and it’s difficult to find the ones who will collaborate with me. (In the pop/rock world, women are “groupies” and men are the musicians, you see. Apparently, that’s not going to change? And I’m not flirty and can’t sleep my way to the top. I came from a very religious family, so I just wasn’t brought up that way, guys, sorry.) And, to make matters worse, I live in one of the most conservative cities in the country as well as one of the poorest in the nation. The economy here has always been poor even b4 the economic crash and if you’re an independent, career-oriented female who isn’t married by age 25, it’s just assumed you’re defective out here. I did live in a better area where there were lots of opportunities for me to pursue my dreams, but the economy got really bad there and cost of living was high, so I had to move out. (I was getting my writing published there as there were lots of small, locally-owned publications and lots of local events to write about. I was auditioning as an actress and performing regularly as a musician. I was earning money doing what I love–my goal!–but not enough money to comfortably live on. Consequently, I eventually ended up homeless.)
Also musicians I’ve talked to seem to judge me by how inexpensive my equipment is–my guitar, microphone, amp, etc., are not expensive but I can play really well (though this may also be a gender issue.) I can’t afford to buy more expensive, state-of-the-art equipment though. And I encountered a lot of nepotism within the entertainment industry and I’m not willing to sleep my way to the top. (Seriously, I lived in L.A., and I’m not joking about this.) Then there’s the age thing. “18-to-look-younger” is the popular term in Hollywood. I’ve already been told there’s an age limit for acting and for music, so I might as well give up. Yet I can play guitar extremely well and get paid occasionally for weddings and other events. I should give up because I’m over 30? One friend suggested I pay musicians to perform with me. That would certainly solve the gender/age-ism issue, but I don’t have the money right now. I suppose if I got a high-paying gig, I could pay them a percentage. But how to get the gig without the other musicians? I can’t find musicians in my area, in spite of having placed up ads at several music stores and online. (I did meet two who were very talented but they moved out to a bigger city where there were more opportunities.)
Currently, I get paid occasionally as a solo artist to play for weddings and other events, so I really have the talent. I have a web site and if anyone’s interested, I can send them the link.
I’m also a writer (in case you can’t tell by this long-winded post.) I’ve written a memoir and am working on a series of guitar lessons that I’ll self-publish. I write poetry, short stories, reviews of rock bands, and other articles. But again, I live in an area where opportunities are rare. Because I don’t have a “platform,” I need to start at small, local publications and there aren’t many of those out here. I did get published when I lived in the big city, was playing guitar and going to auditions for acting regularly there. But, again, I can’t afford to live there anymore.
Another strange obstacle I’m encountering is that I’ve become very political. After my experience with becoming homeless, I’ve become interested in economic inequality but I’m told that I shouldn’t express my political opinions because that might cause people to have another reason not to hire me–my age, my gender, now my politics! But since I’m a writer and filmmaker, I find it hard to remain silent about what I really think. And I think the quality of my writing is poor when I try to keep it mindless and apolitical. One more obstacle: because of my financial problems, I can’t afford health care I need and so I’m often in a lot of pain and it’s hard to get as much done as I’d like to because of it.
I’m not trying to whine or complain, but I have real obstacles. I’ve tried to overcome them but I keep running out of money in the process. Today, I went to an arts and crafts fair hoping to make some extra money. I spent this past week preparing for it, making handmade jewelry and hand-painted t-shirts. And I spent money buying the materials. After all that work, time and effort, I showed up and discovered that the few vendors who’d shown up had decided to pack up and leave. Only one potential customer had shown up in the first hour and it was obvious that the event hadn’t been promoted enough. (However, again, I live in an area that’s not very supportive of the arts in general anyhow, so perhaps there just wasn’t much interest.)
I have a part-time job right now but it doesn’t pay the bills. I seem to be “overqualified” for most of the service jobs that are out there these days. I need to find a way to earn a living doing what I love or at least something that I can do on a freelance basis because the jobs aren’t there for me. With my poor health and living in this dying city, I’ve started to think that maybe I just don’t fit into society, maybe even this world, anymore. I don’t find people I can talk to in this area.
Financially, I keep running around in circles, not knowing what to focus on. I can type 80 words-per-minute and thought I could maybe market myself as a virtual assistant? But it’s so hard to make money where I currently live that I think I need to earn money online getting customers who live in more prosperous areas. I also have a degree in English, so maybe I could teach English online? Or teach guitar lessons online? But how to get customers? Should I try to get paid for some of my writing? Maybe I should set up another etsy account? I didn’t have much luck the last time I tried but maybe this time I’ll get customers? I get so stressed over money that I can’t even think straight. There’s what I want/love to do and there’s my need for money. How do I bring those two things together? Maybe it’s impossible?
I wonder whether anyone’s interested in starting a brainstorming group via Skype? I really need some sort of emotional support, and I’m sure there are others also who feel this way. I’ve tried support groups b4 but ppl usually throw a lot of platitudes toward me. They just argue against all my obstacles as if I’m imagining them or as if I can just make them go away by pretending they aren’t there. Sorry, but that doesn’t work. Problems are like spoiled children–they can get a lot worse if you ignore them. A lot worse. I’m very open to real solutions though. I’m really very talented and have created a lot–a full-length screenplay, several short scripts, lots of comedy and documentary videos, a book, a partially-written book, poetry, short stories, etc., etc., and I’ve done this in spite of poor health.
But how do I produce the money?! Help!
Well, I’m not going to expect a response to this long rant. I apologize if it’s depressing. I’ll post it and forget about it and if someone responds, great. If not, well, no disappointment then. Thanks to anyone who has the time/energy to read through all of this, but I really couldn’t find a way to make it short.
Meri, in every one of the arenas you’ve mentioned, the secret to making money from your talents is platform: a place to perform where many will see and hear and read you. And there are some proven tips to build your platform quickly, but they take discipline.
First, you pick a niche, a well-defined group of people your talents are well-suited for, whose needs and preferences you understand.
Unless your income puts you in a place to do charitable work, pick a niche with a fairly sizable amount of disposable income, knowing you can give some of their money to your favorite charities once your own needs are taken care of.
Aside from money, the best niches are ones where the members talk to each other a lot or all get their news from the same sources.
An example of a niche would be women over 40 concerned with maintaining a healthy, fit body. Another would be 25 to 35 year olds who work on Wall St. — or single women in your country seeking to adopt children from other countries.
Second, or perhaps simultaneously, you look at all your talents and find a progression of them that would serve this group. You look at each of your talents and how it could serve this group and then how one talent could feed into the next.
For example, you might seek to entertain them through magazine articles, short stories, novels, music about their lives, and videos that make them sing along or laugh.
Or you decide you could write advertising and self-promotional copy for them and music for their videos and dream up items to help promote their cause or their talents.
Or you decide you want to reach them through workout music or music they can learn to play, sell e-books to them, run workshops for them, and put instructional videos online through a membership website so they can learn guitar or English as a foreign language or how to write better in English or how to get a good workout (but not all of these, just one).
And then you pick one talent to begin with, the one most likely to attract a repeat audience who would be ready to receive your other talents after a few months or years of enjoying the first one.
And then you decide if you have any talents you really feel driven to use that don’t fit into the plan. You treat them as a hobby for your spare time. You don’t ask them to make you any money. And if they will drive away anyone in your niche — such as political activity unrelated to their key interest or a form of music not likely to appeal to them, or local, in-person performances when your niche is national — you do these hobby activities under a pseudonym.
You start with one talent, and you experiment with how to reach your niche with it — local events, a blog, a web app, YouTube videos, Pinterest, Facebook, a how-to website, downloadable free e-books, teleclasses, live performances, etc. You keep what works and you toss what doesn’t, and if nothing’s working, you toss the niche and begin again. You have one goal at first: to create a reliable way to let people in your niche know when your next product or service becomes available. An email mailing list is great for this. But so is knowing where you can place ads and get a great response from them. And very important is giving them something interesting to talk about, so they tell other people about you and feel smart, helpful, or “in” for doing so.
You look for competitions likely to put your name and current talent in front of your niche. You look for others with related talents serving the same niche to cross-promote with. You look for band members or editors or support people who have a special affinity for your niche.
And you stay disciplined, building your platform (your ability to reach the same people again when you have new stuff to offer) around one talent until you have a decent income from it, and then you introduce the next talent as an add-on for the same audience (much as a very professional actress builds a great acting career, then writes children’s books between shows or begins singing in her films or adds political activism to her filming schedule).
Publishers and music labels will love you when you have a platform. And they can be very useful to you then, too, because they have a platform, too, but they don’t share it until your platform benefits them as much as theirs can benefit you. And this is when the geometric growth in your reach occurs, the point at which you have a shot at real money and real influence and a broader niche.
Discipline matters. One very well-defined niche. One of your talents. Toss a niche that’s not working for you. Build the platform quickly, even at the expense of other opportunities or ideas or audiences that crop up. Put all of those in a blank book and hang onto them, along with your plans for bringing all the rest of your talents to your winning niche.
It’s easier than it has ever been before, thanks to the internet, but this means you have lots more competition. You must be more purposeful and disciplined than they are.
Thanks Patty. This is very helpful. If you don’t mind, I’m going to print out your reply so I can review it. I think one obstacle I’ve found is that it can be time-consuming building up the platform, going on social networking sites, etc. And I like to spend a few hours a day practicing my guitar and writing. Also I had a stalker for a while and that caused me to stay off the Internet for a while. I do have a small platform as a musician that I can build on though. I get no support from the area where I currently live and most of my “friends” online are from other parts of the country or the world. I’m going to spend a bit of time digesting your helpful advice. Thanks again.
BTW, Patty, I like the idea of writing e-books or making video lessons. I’ve been working on a book of guitar lessons that I can make a series of videos for. I think I need to discipline myself to spend more time on that.
I know when I feel like I’m stuck or don’t have options, it feels very painful.
It sounds like you are amazing and creating tons of stuff!
It’s scary to feel like. … wow, I created all this and barely anyone will see it and no one will care and I’m going to just live in poverty and be a failure.
I don’t have any answers for you except just that I know you are OK and that your “failures” are important. What if you are meant to fail? What if nothing you want to happen, happens? Isn’t that ok? You are still amazing and your existence is important.
I hope to produce lots of work, like you are doing, because right now I’m feeling pretty low about my creative output. So that aspect of your story is inspiring to me. How do you do it? Does it take discipline? Do you have to force yourself to do it? Or is it natural?
Oh thanks, Katie. I feel as though I’m not doing enough. I have a lot of video footage that I hadn’t edited yet because my old computer keeps crashing on me. And I have a lot of songs to record but–same thing, my computer keeps crashing and I lose patience.
It’s a combination of discipline and inspiration. I get inspired to make videos, to write & play my guitar all the time but then I have to have the discipline to make myself do the work involved. For ex: I was walking down the street one day and saw a guy fixing his electric car. I was so inspired that someone in my city (a very conservative city) actually owned an electric car! I asked him if I cd interview him, he said yes, so we arranged a time to meet and I recorded a video interview of him talking abt his car. That was easy but the editing part isn’t.
Video editing takes a lot of time & I have an old computer that’s dying so not working very well, so I hadn’t finished the editing yet. So I have to discipline myself to do the editing w/I dread.
I’m keeping a notebook by the computer and recording what time I start editing, any problems I have with the computer, & how I solved them, etc., and what time I finish the editing that day. That way, I can get an idea of how long it takes to edit each video & wht I’ve accomplished.
I often make lists of things I need to do the next day then sometimes I’ll sit down and write down what I’m doing each day as I go throughout the day. I keep a pocket calendar and I’ll write “10a.m.-11a.m.–practiced guitar, 11:12:00 worked on my writing, 12-1pm-prepared & ate lunch, etc.”
I’m still working on this, but I find that when I write down what I’m doing I can look at it and see where I’m wasting my time. For example, I noticed that I overeat sometimes. I’ll spend time snacking (slacking really) when I should be working on a project. I think I use food as a crutch, the way some people use alcohol or drugs, except I’m only about 20 lbs overweight, so it’s not out of control, but it is a way that I avoid dealing with things that are difficult, like my temperamental computer or my worry over money. I’ve also noticed that I’ll waste time worrying abt things instead of just taking that time to do something.
Those things I noticed from writing down what I’m doing all day, keeping a sort of journal of my day.
It helps to be in a better environment too. I used to live in a city where there were lots of musicians, actors, writers, etc., and that inspired me because I saw a lot of ppl doing what I wanted to do.
Oh, Katie, one thing I just thought of along the above lines is that I’ve noticed that I like to write while sitting outside or in a park or a cafe. I think writing seems rather lonely sometimes, and I need connection with the outside world while I’m writing.
So perhaps that might work for you also to just find an environment that inspires you or makes it easier for you to discipline yourself to complete your projects.
Thanks. I definitely could use some new inspiring environment for creating. I usually just make up songs while I’m driving. I can see that being outside our at a cafe I like could help me, not just for inspiration, but also to connect with more people
I have absolutely no patience for messed up computers. So frustrating.
It might be worth looking into public computers available for video editing. Maybe at the library or at a community college computer lab.
I write these lines here at the Idea party blog, because I got the inspiration to write a guide book here. The creative process to develop my idea of writing this guide book came out of a combiantion of an excercise described in Hanging Out, which I would call “the 5-minutes a day excersise” and a hint by Barbara to read the blog of a guy called Al Tucher. I went to this blog and read a magic sentence that was something like:”If you wouldnt have the potential to write your own books, you would not read this blog.” I dont know why, but after Iread that I wrote down the title of a guide-book, which is : “99 ways to deal with the death of your parents”, and it tells the story of a kid whose parents died before reaching the age of 15 years.I started to write in February and I finished the first phase today, writing 99 chapters in a raw manuscript form, which means besides the chapters there is no structure, there is no format, its written in german and so on…..BUT it feels great. I managed to write 99 chapters that are very different in content and length.
And its first hand experience.
I let you know more soon, besides I love the bookclub, I do my excersises in the commuting train to my new good enough job.
Frank
I thought Faithy’s advice to be succinct and helpful in many situations. I’ve just used it to help align myself in some areas in order to move forward. Thanks :-)!
Da ich kein Englisch kann und die Online-Übersetzung nur ein zusammenhangloses Durcheinander hergab – oft völlig falsch übersetzt, konnte ich nur 3 Briefe verstehen und somit keine Angebote, Videos u.v.m. in Anspruch nehmen. Schade, da Sie die 1. Person in meinem Leben sind, die mein ADS- und Scanner-Herz sehr stark berührt hat – voller Freudentränen in der Urania in Berlin (2014). Ich habe mich nie zuvor so verstanden gefühlt! Danke. Internet habe ich noch nicht. Selbstbeherrschung, Achtsamkeit, Selbsterziehung, Ordnung und Struktur, das Erkennen von Unwichtigem und Aufgeben meiner unbewussten Vermeidungsstrategien sind für mich notwendige Voraussetzungen, um mit Internet mich nicht ständig zu verlieren und um Englisch lernen zu können. Es gibt also viel zu überwinden für mich; bis dahin nützen mir Ihre Englisch- Briefe nichts. 🙁 Viele liebe Grüße, Verena
Hey everybody. I just popped Verena’s comment into google translate and came up with this below:
Since I can not speak English and the online translation only an incoherent mess blazes – often translated completely wrong, I could understand only three letters and thus no offers, videos and more avail. Too bad, because you are the first person in my life that has touched very strong my ADS & Scanner heart – full of tears of joy in the Urania in Berlin (2014). I’ve never felt so understood! Thank you. I have not internet. Self-control, attentiveness, self-discipline, order and structure, the recognition of the unimportant and giving up my unconscious avoidance strategies are necessary prerequisites for me to work with Internet not to permanently lose me and English to be able to learn. There is so much to overcome for me; until then, do me your English letters nothing. 🙁 Best regards, Verena
Oh dear. Listen, Verena, I trained 60 German speaking coaches – some really good ones live in Berlin – and there are good German Success Team Leaders in Berlin, too.
If that last line really means “Your English writing does me no good” then tell me and I’ll find them for you!!
…………………….
I just copied the German version and sent it to one of my best coaches. She’s probably asleep right now, but she’ll get it in the morning and I best she answers it soon.
Hi,
I just wanted to comment on Jay’s post. It seems to me that Jay had a brilliant teacher, and that this framework that the teacher taught him to put his dreams into made it work really well.
Having such a framework, especially in research, must make everything that might seem overwhelming and a cause for procrastination melt away.
I have personally had a hard time seeing to the end goal when there was no mentor to help me see what the steps would be to get there. For instance, where do you get the huge wad of cash for your eco-center, village for gardeners, farm that makes sense when you are stuck in a city with no one you know that seems to want to help you get unstuck. Usually its because they are stuck too.
So fellow scanners, thanks for all the help, and let’s visualize the stuff we know in our hearts and minds is worthwhile. But, heck, there’s always time to dream. And don’t forget to take care of your health, as it is what fuels an upbeat attitude.
Love,
Faithy
Eva,
I appreciated what Orlanda said, would not have felt I could comment on my own, but I had been thinking that as well as that a bird in hand is worth two on the wing.
I fear you might be right… I am always chasing way too many birds (cf. Barbara’s chapter ‘I want too many things’ in ‘I Could Do Anything […]’). I find it hard to choose just one thing and stick to it.
It’s hard, though, to just do ‘one’ thing… I’m finding that just having a day job, or trying to find a better one, are in themselves ‘things’. Life feels pretty full already when you’re just doing those. I wonder sometimes if I shouldn’t just be braver and just go 100% for the thing I like most, and live off savings in the meantime and just believe that the money will come.
Thanks for commenting, I really appreciate it!
I would love a little help with my dream… I want to become a filmmaker. I love making films because I love telling a good story. In the past I’ve dabbled with novel-writing, drawing, painting, academia, teaching – all sorts of things which have an element of storytelling. I think film is really The One (I also think so because I did the exercises in Barbara’s book ‘I could do anything […]’ and filmmaking is what I identified as It. It’s the thing that makes me happiest.
Over the years I have made a few short films and they even turned out kind of good – I loved every second of the filming (so creative and fun!!… So many laughs!), and I loved sitting there afterwards editing them. I could literally sit for hours playing with the clips, and would look up and find that it’s 4 a.m. and that my legs hurt from sitting so long on the floor in the same position, and there is a very cold bit of toast on a plate next to me that someone brought me and that I completely forgot about. It’s something that absorbs me completely and I love it. Very different from other jobs I’ve had, where I’ve found myself watching the clock all day.
My goal is to make a short film a month (and then get them out there, to film festivals and on the internet). I’m finding this hard to do, 1) because I don’t seem to have had any good storyline ideas in ages (and the story is the most important bit), and 2) I’m feeling a bit shy about approaching people, even friends, to be in my films. When I first made short films, my friends and I were all students. Now that everyone has jobs, it seems wrong to ask them to give up their weekends to traipse about town with me in silly outfits (maybe I just don’t think my films are ‘worthy’ enough of being made… I don’t know…)
And 3), because filmmaking is one of those things that doesn’t make any money until… well, until it does, I have been spending a lot of my time applying for day jobs, as well as working in my current day job (which does not pay the bills particularly well, hence the need to keep looking for another one).
This year, an exciting thing is happening in my life: I have been offered some money to write a book. Enough to live on for a year or so. This means I will have a bit more freedom with how I structure my time. I’m thinking of writing the book from Monday to Wednesday, and the rest of the time… be a filmmaker!
But I know that I’m not very good at motivating myself and sticking to things. No one makes you do your dream… I’ve been in situations before where I had a flexible schedule and loads of time, and I just ended up wasting it very pleasantly, having fun or just watching TV. I don’t want to do this. I want to make things happen for me. I could use a success team. Please help.
Hi there,
I admire your spunk! I used to work in the film business so I get your love of it. A few questions.
1. Why a film a month? What’s the hurry?
2. What about asking juniour college acting students or even seniour high school drama club students to be in your films? I would have LOVED being asked to be in someone’s film, just for the practise.
3. Why are you doing all of this alone?
Regarding the book AND the films, I read once, if you chase two rabbits you get none.
Good luck 🙂
Hi! Thanks for the comment! Really appreciate any insights/ questions/ anything, really!
About your questions:
1) I once read that Shane Meadows (self-taught, director of ‘This is England’ amongst other things) said in an interview that he started off by doing a film a month, and it helped him improve. At the moment I don’t really have any targets, and I wonder if maybe these would help me!
2) That’s a very good idea – I have considered getting University students to act in my films; I know that there would be some who would be delighted to do this. (I guess I’m a bit scared of the logistics of working with strangers where i’m only used to working with friends and family, but i can see that it would be fun.)
3) Why alone – don’t know, really. I guess it’s one thing caressing your silly little project by yourself, and quite another telling others about it and getting them to work with you on it. I’ve joined a local filmmakers’ meet-up, which takes place once a month, and an actors’ workshop, and I’m speaking to some of these people about maybe collaborating on a short project together (and they sound keen…)
‘chase two rabbits, get none’ – I think you may be right; in fact, i am always chasing impossible numbers of rabbits (I love quite a few things – singing, painting, acting, writing) and so far I haven’t ‘caught’ any rabbits. I do wonder if I should just stick to the writing, and do that properly. (But maybe films sometimes on a weekend?…)
Thanks again for posting!
Hi Eva,
Your film-making dream sounds wonderful and it sounds too as though you have the enthusiasm and motivation to succeed with it, so the very best of luck go with you.
I don’t know much about film-making, but I have written one or two published books, a couple of which were commissioned and also a lengthy PhD thesis which I never sought to have published.
Like you, if I’m not under pressure to earn money or have someone breathing down my neck, I tend to play around and find plenty of things to do other than write. I’m a scanner too and, much as I love to write, there are always lots of alternatives, and many things to do that suddenly become more important when I actually have to write.
My PhD supervisor taught me to be as disciplined about planning a writing project as I should be if I were planning a lengthy journey. His method was to set out my objectives in relation to the audience I was writing for, then to write a short summary of what I wanted to do. I was then to do a bit of research and work that summary up into a more detailed outline. With the outline, I broke the work up into chapter headings with brief outlines of what topic I planned for each chapter and an overview of how they would hang together. Then I had to assess roughly how long I would need to research and draft each chapter and we synchronised dates in our diaries (even for 3 years ahead!) when I would submit each chapter and we would meet to discuss it.
All this was done on paper before I was even allowed to get into the proper research and provided a road map for the project. I am eternally grateful to my supervisor for making me do this and stick to it because I’d have given up long before the end otherwise. Of course the whole thing changed and developed during the course of the 4 years or so I was researching and drafting, and the updated framework was modified out of all recognition. Having that original framework and its updated versions to refer to, however, kept me grounded, with my original goals in mind, and kept me believing there was an attainable end in sight.
I’ve applied that method to all my later writing projects and, although I’ve found it hard having to be my own supervisor and meet my own deadlines for producing draft chapters, the thought that I couldn’t let down the person who was paying me to do it kept me up to the mark. If someone is paying you, you have to be professional, and meeting your deadlines even if you set them yourself is one of the of the most important standards for a professional writer, I think.
If you think something like this method might help, but aren’t confident of producing chapters to your deadlines, you could appoint a paid or unpaid ‘reader’ to keep you up to your commitments. A Success Team would certainly help if you have one near you, or wanted to start your own.
You don’t say what kind of book you’re going to write. There are a lot of books around giving advice about planning and writing a book with various methods, some good some not so. You might find one or other of them helpful. I have a ton of them and, there are other writers on here who I’m sure could give you recommendations if you wanted to provide a bit more detail about where you’re headed.
All the best – and above all enjoy yourself! Writing is meant to be fun too.
Jay
Jay – I think this may be one of the most important things I have read in months- it all comes back to structure, right? This is exactly what I needed to hear right now! Thanks 🙂
Yes, you just stated your own solution. A Success Team would definitely help. Can you find one near you, by looking on Barbara’s list, or would you have to invent the wheel somehow?
Meri,
I appreciate what you are saying, because career counselors are invested in this “system of things” and not trained to think outside the box. At least, not completely outside of the box. I believe many people are really scared about both the economic situation and the lack of trustworthiness of the political and so-called spiritual side of those who influence societal control to a profound extent.
To be honest, this is a sign of a deeply troubling situation, where no real tangible help makes sense from a viewpoint not rooted in societal norms. The answers, in the long term, require a moral and spiritually based consideration. If you see the design of life from an artistic and scientific viewpoint that I am expressing a need for, beyond the present, beyond this era, this age, this human dilemma and get to the roots we all come from, the picture has a practical frame.
I am not meaning to be preachy. But look at where the human race is. Many years of protracted push and shove, malevolent manipulation by sophisticated and unethical individuals who collectively call themselves corporations to avoid punishment for criminal acts. This, my fellow humans, my fellow wanderers and scanners, is what we find ourselves trying to deal with.
You are always going to struggle “against the grain, against the wind, against the overwhelming tide” of people with an agenda that is ultimately unsustainable. Try something that considers a greater force beyond our complete understanding, but NOT beyond our comprehension if we look at it from a viewpoint way beyond our limited time here on earth.
OK, I will get off my platform. Enjoy the simple beauties in life – As Georgia Okeefe said, nobody sees a flower, really. Let’s enjoy the profound beauty found in flowers, nautilus, the patterns found in nature from all sides.
Love,
Faithy
Hi Faith. I just saw your reply today–nearly a month later! It was very interesting and insightful, so I really appreciate it. Yes, I think these are really scary times here in the US and perhaps other parts of the world as well. And I suppose it is hard to give advice in this economic climate. But some of these career “experts” will try to tell you that the economy doesn’t matter, that you can still make money, etc., yet they have no practical advice to give as to how to do that when everyone around you seems to have no money to spend.
I’m struggling a lot financially right now and have been trying for years to start my own business or earn a living as a freelancer maybe. But when I’ve gone to career counselors/coaches, I’ve just gotten a lot of motivational, positive thinking thrown at me rather than practical advice. If they have no practical advice to offer then perhaps they should call themselves motivational speakers and drop the career coach/counselor label. It’s not helpful for someone to encourage me to visualize my ideal life then not give me ideas on how to achieve that. It only makes my current life seem worse when I keep comparing it to how I’d like things to be.
OK, what I meant by the above is that a lot of career coaches believe in positive thinking, i.e., that we can “manifest” our reality, so they encourage people to keep focusing on how they’d like their lives to be. Problem with that is if you are very far away from your dreams it can be painful to imagine a better life. It’s like being a poor kid living in a poor neighborhood. If everyone around you is also poor, you may not notice how poor you are. But if you go into a wealthy neighborhood and start telling yourself you’d like that affluence then your poverty becomes painful. And how would you go from rags to riches? Is it even possible?
But if you never venture out of that poor neighborhood and just keep surrounded with others who are poor you’ll never feel the sadness of knowing how bad off you are compared to other people.
Again, if someone wants to show you specific, practical ways you can get out of poverty, then that’s great. But most career coaches I’ve met don’t do that. They’re really good at talking about being positive, visualizing a better life, etc., but then they don’t know what to say when no one shows up to buy your handmade jewelry or all the agents you write to reject your book, for example.
The reason I check out this blog is that Ms. Sher seems to offer more practical advice which I appreciate. However, my financial situation is so bad that I don’t think there’s hope for me. Not now anyway.
Once upon a time I was a freelance photographer, my camera broke, I had to sell roses on the street (in winter) to pay for its repair, and for my rent and food. I am a feet on the ground, head in the clouds kind’a girl. So when pressed to the wall I ask myself, what can I do right now to move my life forward (even if it’s only by inches). Public libraries are FREE. I just read a book, Small Moves, Big Changes. I have taught myself to focus on one thing at a time, pay rent, or buy food, save money, see friends (for moral support), spend time with people with are better off than I am (most people :-). Little by little, slowly slowly, things get better. The universe rewards a fighter. I also listen to motivational postings on youtube when I am feeling REALLY LOW :-). A film prof of mine once said you need 2 out of these 3 things for success. 1. Skill/talent 2. Luck 3. Determination. Regardless where it all leads, you’ll have your self respect. If you don’t keep trying, you’ll have nothing :-).