Barbara Sher’s Idea Party

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How Does the Online Idea Party Work?

You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)

The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.

Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:

Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital

I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store

Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!

And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.

(Your first comment below has to be approved, so it may not display instantly depending on the time of the day. Once your email address is approved you can post instantly. If you want your own profile photo to show up beside your comments, instead of the cute little design, upload your photo on Gravatar.com and give them an hour or so to make it happen.)

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4,530 thoughts on “Barbara Sher’s Idea Party

  1. Hii Lovely people!!
    I am Mythri from India. I am a realism/hyperrealism artist who specializes in portraits. I have drawn many celebrities – mainly actors and cricketers. I would love to get the artwork autographed by the respective celebrity. I have tried to find ways, but unfortunately it is difficult to get in touch/meet due to security concerns.
    It is difficult to get my artwork noticed by the celebrity in social media too(due to high volume of content)
    Thank you for reading my wish 🙂

    • Dear Mythri,
      I think that the best way to get in contact with various celebrities is through their publicists, rather than through their fan bases. They get so much, as you say, high volume of content, that many of them have staffs of people who try to keep up with the overwhelming amount of fan mail and social media posts that arrive daily. If you are going to go at it in that manner, it needs to be in regards to what they are doing, and be work related, so when you are contacting someone like that, and, say, you are writing to them, tell them what part of their work you really like and why. And then try to make your request. Which may or may not be granted. But hey? Why not try?

  2. Hello wonderful people,
    I am so inspired by this beautiful resource and Barbara’s work.
    I have MANY BIGGGGGGGGGG ideas 🙂 and absolutely suffer with isolation so would love some help 🙂

    My wish is to have my own home (ideally build an environmentally friendly home)
    My obstacles have been that I haven’t worked for 9 years and rely on the government for my income.
    This summer I have the opportunity to stay somewhere for 4 months but after that don’t know – my wish is to find somewhere stable to live within the next 4 months so I can have somewhere safe to live that is my own.

    Thank you for your time to read my wish.
    Jess

    • Hello wonderful people,
      I am so inspired by this beautiful resource and Barbara’s work.
      I have MANY BIGGGGGGGGGG ideas 🙂 and absolutely suffer with isolation so would love some help 🙂

      My wish is to have my own home (ideally build an environmentally friendly home)
      My obstacles have been that I haven’t worked for 9 years and rely on the government for my income.
      This summer I have the opportunity to stay somewhere for 4 months but after that don’t know – my wish is to find somewhere stable to live within the next 4 months so I can have somewhere safe to live that is my own.
      I also feel called to say I have always practiced art, been to many art schools and write and sing my own music. My dream would be to earn a living from my creativity.
      The obstacle holding me back is having a number of learning difficulties and fear of exposing myself.
      Thank you for your time to read my wish.
      Jess

      • Dear Jess,
        I wrote the long comment to your first post, which is posted below, before I wrote this one.
        The components of life are the Physical, the Mental, the Emotional, and the Spiritual. Your spirituality is whatever you choose it to be–your relationship between yourself and the Creator. The emotional part of life is your relationship between yourself and others. The Mental part of your life is your Right Livelihood–that which you’re naturally talented at, love doing, lose track of time when you’re doing it because it’s fun or engrossing or both, and it engages your talents. The Physical part of life is 5 things: your health, which is foundational, for without that, you don’t have anything except perhaps monstrous medical bills; your home (and right now, that is most unstable for you); casual acquaintances, like neighbors, for instance; geographic location and whether you need to move or not; and whatever you have for survival income, which for you, at this time, is not much. And so even survival is difficult. I know, I’ve been there and done that!
        I, too, have some serious learning disorders, and, put together, make it almost impossible for me to learn computers or learn most things at the university level, for that matter. They are ADHD, a slow processing speed, which means that my brain doesn’t process things as fast as most people’s, which sometimes goes along with ADHD, and also, perhaps the worst case of dyscalculia known to man. Which keeps me from majoring in most any scientific discipline, and also keeps me out of most business schools, because an MBA requires calculus! Don’t even mention higher math to me! My brain just won’t go there! I was a music major in school at first, and then ended up with a B.A. in English, and enough teaching credentials and half of a master’s in library science to become a school librarian. By the time I was 38, I had 3 supposed lifetime careers destroyed–professional musician, school teacher, and freelance editor. I am verbally gifted and no good at all in math. That’s me. And yet, for 10 years, I had quite a career, that I carved out for myself, in real estate.
        In order to stabilize life and get from the dream stage to the doing stage, it takes steady work, in small steps, knowing that everything that you do is leading towards your higher goals. And, as Barbara Sher says, your survival job subsidizes the arts. In one of her books, and in her other writings, she lays out what a survival job is: Something without toxic bosses and co-workers, work that you can stand doing, and it doesn’t take up more than 40 hours a week, or else you won’t have time for your other work–your Right Livelihood. And, it pays well enough that you can keep a roof over your head, provide yourself with basic health insurance, provide yourself with food, and basic transportation. If it doesn’t do these things, then it’s not a “good enough job,” or a survival job.
        You will obviously have to get off of welfare by being working, in order to stabilize your housing situation and pursue your dreams of being an artist and a musician.
        I once lived on a small island, and although I was well educated, I knew that if I wanted to stay there, I was going to have to have immediate work, so I interviewed and got hired at one resort to clean cabins there, and interviewed at another resort to be a salad chef. I had neither cooked professionally nor cleaned professionally before, so I was “faking it until I made it,” but that’s what I did. Other Island jobs included working at a used bookstore, working in a pet store, being a breakfast cook (cooking skills are good survival skills!), being a professional baker, cleaning a bakery and a restaurant at night, and working in a B&B. I eventually founded my own house cleaning business, and built it up from zero to $30,000 in one year. There were a lot of wealthy people I worked for who needed their large homes cleaned.
        And so I was able to continue to live on the island for several years. Then it was time to move to New Mexico, where I re-established my cleaning business, until one day when I was horribly injured and couldn’t work anymore. Bedridden for 8 months and unable to walk, I was offered $435 a month disability, but who in heck can live on that?? Nobody!! So, I re-evaluated my talents, decided to pursue counseling to the hilt, which I knew I had talent in, went and got help filling out all the FAFSA forms for student aid, applied to 5 grad schools, got accepted at two of them, and went to one of them, beginning in 2009. The horrendous injury happened in 2005. By September 2006, I had landed a tutoring job at the community college level, and kept that job clear until I entered grad school, in January 2009. I was crippled and could only use handicap ramps and elevators. Going up and down stairs was absolutely impossible. And all through grad school, it remained this way. It stayed this way for 10 years.
        Since then, things have improved, and I now live on a second floor apartment, with steep stairs, and although they do provide a challenge, I manage to get up and down them somehow, and haul groceries up them. And, I’ve gone back to hiking in the mountains again, and car camping. There’s been lots and lots of physical therapy, or I wouldn’t be walking at all.
        There are Four Keys: 1.) To take care of the Physical part of life, and do that first, so that you will have stability, and a way forward to being able to develop your music and art goals, without the Welfare Office breathing down your neck about “making too much money,” and therefore, the benefits that you depend on, get suddenly jerked, and you get destroyed. Who needs that? Nobody!! Remember, the “Good Enough Job” subsidizes the arts.
        In addition to the jobs I held at the Island, I also did a 3rd job, which was a labor exchange, in which I burned piles of tree limbs and brush from a logging operation in exchange for a place to pitch my tent, when I was homeless, before I had enough money saved for an apartment. But not paying rent gave me the advantage of being able to save gobs of money for it. So that within 6 months, I had the $1,000 it took to get into an apartment.
        And the income to keep on affording it after that. 2.) Gratitude is the second Key. Gratitude and 3.) An action plan, in small, do-able weekly steps, that you keep on with, day to day, getting you more stability and the ability to be forward-thinking, and to see and recognize opportunity when it comes up, and also to create your own survival job, if no one will hire you. Look to be of service, somehow, to the community that you live in, and that way, you establish yourself and begin to build a niche for yourself, for if you have a service that others want, you will have customers, and can live on a small island, where the tourist economy goes dead in the winter. and 4.) Knowing that life isn’t linear. It’s a Circle, and the
        quadrants of the Great Wheel of Life are the Physical, the Mental (Right Livelihood), Emotional, and Spiritual, and they all work together, like the great turning of this Wheel. You are the Wheel and the Wheel is you. All parts of it are important, and the idea is to be in Balance, and building up the Physical part well enough that you are supporting yourself and subsidizing the arts. Then, you will be able to begin developing the art and music, and get into a Creators’ Support Group, so that the fear of exposing yourself fades, and you can start realizing your art and music dreams. So let’s see you put some stability under yourself, with income and housing, and then let’s see where you go from there.

    • Dear Jess,
      What is preventing you from working? Is it that you’re 65 or up and retired, or is it that you’re on Disability? And, are you in the U.S? Or elsewhere, and if so, where?
      Being on the “government dole” presents some pretty interesting problems, especially now, in a time of massive instability, particularly for anyone who is dependent upon the government. Who knows which way the chips are going to fall next? If you you were elsewhere than the U.S., the picture would be different.
      There are several ways to get property without having to pay an arm and a leg to get it, but “there ain’t any such thing as a free lunch,” and you’ll have to have some money to begin with. Or be able to create it.
      Which I’ve always done when jobs were scarce, or when there was massive discrimination in hiring, which I have had to face. And I made far more money working for myself than I ever did working for “The Man.” I have had major health challenges in my life more than once, which forced me onto Welfare, but, at some point, when I could work, I began working again and phoned up the Welfare Office and told them that I didn’t need them anymore. What a good feeling that was! It gets infinitely harder after 65–there are more barriers, and a person has to be really clever in order to surmount them, without destroying one’s benefits in the process.
      These things have to be addressed before we go on to talk about housing solutions, because, having been there, disability is the most fiendish, most difficult barrier to overcome so that some desired life changes can be made. And, if you’re under 65, in the U.S., at least, if you don’t work for a considerable period of time, then when you do retire, at, say, age 65, you will get very little to almost nothing in Social Security. You will really be suffering big time. I know someone whom this happened to. He didn’t work for a long time, and ended up with $200 per month in Social Security, and nothing from any other source.
      It gets very cold and snowy in the Rockies, where he lived, and wood was the only source of heat for his house. Only he couldn’t afford to buy the wood! And, by the time I knew him, he was too old, anymore, to even chop the wood.
      He ate a one-pot vegetable stew about once a day, and that was about all the food he could afford. It was horrible! My heart goes out to you if you’re on disability, but even then, if there’s any way at all to escape from that, then do it! I was forced into that place, due to severe injury, and I did it.
      Even if it’s a cob house that you build, (and these can be really nice), and you have friends helping you build it, you’re going to have to have some kind of money to begin with, and avoid getting your tail in the trap that my friend got into, when he got really old, up around 80. I bought him his wood one winter.
      Increasingly, anyone who rents to you is going to ask you to prove some sort of financial stability. And in most instances, be able to pass a background check. At least in the U.S., there are Section 8 apartments for elderly, age 62 and up, and disabled. A friend of mine with cancer was able to get into one of those complexes, even though she was only in her early 50’s. But first things first! We’ve got to get you stabilized first. And, as you correctly forsee, that means getting a roof over your head that you can call your own. The entire Section 8 program is under threat at this time. Otherwise, the only way to cut down on the rent is to have a roommate, and that doesn’t always work out. You have to be very expert at screening them in order to keep from having the violent deadbeats and drug addicts join you. I have typically asked for the last 3 employers and the last 3 landlords as references. And that works pretty well. You’ll have to devise your own screening questions to determine if they are on drugs or not.
      But in the meantime, and before that, how much money do you have saved up, and what are you doing to save it up now? Yes, this can be done, even on welfare, or while house sitting, so that you will be able to get into an apartment or onto a piece of land later on.
      There are so many variables that I can’t really speak with authority about much of this right now. Nor can I go far into your various housing options. I bought, fixed up, and sold real estate–both raw land and houses, for 10 years, had 9 successful closings in that time, and all real estate transactions were self financed. I made over half a million dollars doing this. So I know something about real estate. And housing options. I just saw on the internet an advertisement about an ecovillage that people were able to live in for $200 per month. But beware! Some alternative communities are worth joining, but all too often, they are drug-ridden hells, and practically no one works at anything, leaving even basic day-to day upkeep of the place sorely lacking, and tasks falling to one or two people, and with no clear agenda about the purpose of the alternative community. I’ve seen too many such places as this, and they are to be avoided, believe me!
      A good alternative community will have a purpose and will have some leadership and structure, so that everyone is housed and everyone has a job to do which benefits the community as a whole. And I could go on about that, but I won’t right now. The first thing is to get stabilized. While you are house sitting and not paying rent, be saving money any way you can. Not working is really putting a crimp in things. Is there any way to change that? If you can physically work, then that’s the first thing. Regardless of previous education and experience, be willing to take almost any kind of job, no matter how humble it is, and do it. When I was in that situation, I worked 3 part time jobs and I also house sat where I was living at the time. My wages, I was saving like mad. I only bought the simplest food and I had a car, so I bought gas for it as needed, and that was about all. No matter what your circumstances are, start right away by saving up 10% of your income, no matter how small, and no matter from where, and this gets skimmed off the top right away. This, you keep adding to, and it goes into a special fund, and you don’t touch it. It doesn’t exist. When I did this a number of years ago, I was also adding my total wages to it every two weeks from one of my part time jobs. In this way, from April when I began through August, I had $600 saved up, and it took me two more months, through October, until I had the necessary funds, $1,000, to get into an apartment. There might be other options, like getting a piece of land, but this would have no shelter upon it. I think the very first step is to stabilize yourself, and then think about your housing plans. Banks typically won’t lend money on raw land, and to typically get into an existing house, you’d have to put 10% to 20% of the sales price down, and you’d have financing on the rest of it. And you’d have closing costs to pay. But, now, we’re talking financial stability and we’re talking megabucks. There are various ways to get land, and possibly get a foreclosure–it takes a very savvy buyer’s agent who specializes in foreclosures for that. And then, there are ecovillages which will sometimes let people in, and there are ways, although there have been zoning issues around this, to get onto a piece of land and build some sort of alternative housing, like a cob house, for instance. Up in Alaska, there is very little zoning in places, and it is still possible to get land and build a cabin on it. But, a person would have to have pretty good building skills, and friends to help. I know of someone who has done this. Remember, though, it’s Alaska, and the winters are Really Tough, dark, and long. And prices of everything are fiendishly high. I could say a lot more about this, but for now, the first piece of this to work on is stability for you. Just socking all the money away that you can, so that you can get into a place by fall. It’s almost June now. Not much time. I don’t know how cold, wet, and dark it gets where you live. But you need a roof over your head. That’s first. And some income. Then, we start planning the rest!

      • Hi Mary Ann, thank you for your comments!
        I am wanting to give you more info but feel as this is public facing don’t feel comfortable.
        Is there a way to privately message?

        Thanks,
        Jess

          • Dear Patty,
            It’s OK with me if my email is shared with Jess. The details I know from my life experiences, of bumping and batting around the Earth, and of my 10 years of self-made real estate experiences, are rather many and large for this format, but might be helpful.

          • I Patty,
            I actually have reflected and have received what I have needed to from the amazing amount of information in the comments, thank you so so much!

    • Dear Jess,
      Patty Newbold has passed my email along to you, and I encourage you to reach out that way. I believe that there is much wisdom from life experience and business experience that may benefit you that I am willing to share with you.

  3. I wish I could transform abandoned industrial plants into creative hubs also some ruined children camps to make fun and interactive playgrounds. I m private enterpreneer ,experienced in structural design about 12 years ,managied engineering projects for USA and Europe markets for 5 years..
    Adore crafting: sew /crochet/ even made felt boots ones. the obstacle is no budjet to start

    • Then you need to start small, Luba. But you need to start by doing any part of this that you love.

      For example, you could start with a monthly Meet Up for other folks who are creative with fiber crafts. You can sell your crafts to begin affording to advertise creative gatherings where you make a profit, with your fiber crafting friends among your paying audience or your presenters.

      Or you could start by offering your structural design expertise to a non-profit organization that might later go in with you on a grant application. Don’t offer to be the designer. That’s too big a donation. But perhaps a reviewer, giving their board guidance on the plans being offered to them.

      Make connections or money at each step on the journey, and you’ll get there.

    • Dear Luba,
      I live in a fairly large city in the U.S.A. with an extensive system of parks. There are also county parks nearby. In my city, the Parks Department recently (within the last 5 years or so ago) did just that. They totally renovated a worn-down picnic area into a very fun and interactive kids’ playground. So, my suggestion is to forget about “the lack of a budget to start,” and try to begin by seeing if you can get hired–bring them your gifts of experience and expertise–see if you can get hired to design/build a playground somewhere. In addition to parks and recreation centers, there are certain communities within major cities undergoing community improvement projects. Like putting in community gardens and playground spaces. So, I would suggest going to county and city government officials–to councils, or local or regional governing bodies–to see what projects are in the proposal or planning stages, and what is scheduled to be built, and go from there. You may also wish to write up a proposal or design for a typical playground, so that, upon making an appointment to see the right people, you could present this, just as an example of what you can do. This could be presented to individuals, council members, or to an entire council, at one of their meetings, or to a board at their board meeting. It might turn them on. But I would assess the need, and the desire, by talking to people first. And then, the problem of a budget vanishes, because they love you and want you to work for them!
      As to the crafting, I love Patty Newbold’s suggestions for you. The more craft fairs you can enter with a variety of the best of your goods, the better, and it would be very helpful, if you aren’t already doing it, to join a crafter’s guild or group. There are knitting groups, quilting groups, and fiber arts groups. I even have a friend who is in a gourd group. They are all gourd artists who make the most amazing decorative objects out of gourds.
      Oh, and also, around here and in the next county, within the last 10 years or so, a number of Community Centers have been built. Since it rains a lot here, and for a lot of the year, these places provide indoor recreation, like basketball, for instance, and there are indoor classroom/meeting spaces, and I think there are indoor dance spaces too. These are meant to be community hubs where people can come to engage in a variety of activities. How did they get built? With government funds. Taxpayer dollars.
      I hope that these ideas are useful, and that you are able to turn something up.

  4. Hello Everyone here!

    I am Shweta, from India. I got to know about Barbara Sher through a friend of mine. I recently watched the youtube TEDX video – Isolation is the dream-killer, not your attitude and I was humbled by the work. And I immediately wanted to check out and connect with success team. But I didn’t. It was hard to be vocal about what I want. But then, I also wanted to do it. And after 2 weeks, here I am.
    I am an actor, writer and healthcare clown. I have written many songs in English for 4 years now. I want to make a single musical video. The language of the song is English.
    I have spoken to music producers here, but somehow I don’t move forward.
    My obstacle is the difficulty to believe in this project wholly. My inability in finding the right music producers and my inability to trust the people in the process. And finally the money to make it happen, but I also have some savings that I can pull out.
    That is where I am right now. Thank you for hearing!

    • Hi, Shweta, please join Stage32.com!

      It is a collaborative international platform for creatives. Join lounges, take classes, collaborate with people on the projects, take classes, etc.

      Talk to people about your project. Come to “introduce yourself” weekend.

      Best of luck!

      Natalya
      P.S. what is a “healthcare clown”? Are you in healthcare trying to transition into acting/music in general?

      • I had missed this. Sorry for writing this late. Thank you so much natalya. Will join stage32.
        In very short, Healthcare clowns work in hospitals aiming to provide relief and comfort in those tough environments.
        I have been an actor always, its been 3 years I also work as a healthcare clown now.

    • Dear Shweta,
      I think that somehow, any way that you can, getting into a Success Team will be vital to being able to move forward the way you want to. You’ll be able to get connections, clout, and there will be the weekly meetings as the “accountability factor,” and a built-in cheering section, which is what we all need when it seems like it is all steeply uphill. You’d be amazed at who knows who and who knows how to get what done in a Success Team. I’ve personally experienced this, and have seen others personally experience this. It’s really dynamite! That’s my best suggestion. If there are none in your area, Patty Newbold, our webmaster, has been running them on line from time to time.

      • We really need to find another Sher Success Teams Anywhere Leader in Europe! That time zone difference with India–9.5 hours in summer, 10.5 in winter–makes it hard to find two hours a week when we’re both awake.

    • Dear Shweta,
      There’s someone I know who’s in the film industry. He’s an American actor, musician, and multi-talented artist. He owns his own film production company, has been in many movies including at least one musical, and has directed more than one movie. In addition to his acting career, he goes on international tours across Europe with his rock band. In spite of his celebrity status, he is not immune to helping others. He has been known to do it. I think that it is a long shot, but that it may be possible to get in touch with him through his publicist, rather than any other avenue. Finding that person may be problematical, though. This multi- talented person is the American actor, Johnny Depp. If you can get through to his publicist, and they were helpful to you, you’d be hitting a gold mine of information.
      Another way, and somewhat quicker, is that I am affiliated with a theater group which every year produces musicals. I don’t know what they know about making music videos, however, because they do all their performances live. But I can ask. I will try to find out from them if they know anything.

      • This is actually a follow-up reply to Schweta. I did contact the theater producer, but she was of no help, directly. She did suggest to simply Google “How to make musical videos,” and thought that a lot of information would come up. I hope that helps. It may be a start, and be easier than getting through to Mr. Depp’s publicist, but I would still give it the long shot, because, as I say, it would likely be a gold mine of information, if you could. In between his acting career and his rock band performances, Johnny Depp gets dressed up in his Captain Jack Sparrow costume, and fully ready to play the part, goes into various children’s hospitals and entertains children, especially those with cancer. He says that if he can bring a smile, or maybe a giggle, to these children, it means everything to him. So, in his own way, he has been a health care clown. Because he sure teases and jokes around when he’s with the children. And they love it.
        So, it’s a long shot, but just maybe! And if it works, hey! But try the publicist, not the fan base. I think you’ll get lost in the furor if you go the fan route. Try to rise above it, if you can. He has starred in at least one musical, but has not produced any of his own, that I’m aware of. Still, a good fit, I think, if you could ever get through to him somehow.

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