Hi All.
It’s Wednesday and the beginning of some new stuff:
Now we shift in Hanging Out, but just a little. We started out your Identity Exercises by focusing on senses and feelings, avoiding completely the pressure we all feel regarding achievement . You might call that the ‘Waking Up’ element in Hanging Out with Barbara Sher.
Then you took a look at your own history, or ‘Who You Are.’ (Well, you played a bit with the notion that there were lots of options about who you might have been; just loosened up your thinking about who you became. (With the Lying Game Family.)
We won’t let go of either the Waking Up or Who You Are elements. They’ll be showing up for the whole year, because you must always be reminded that, first before all, you are alive, and one of a kind.
Now I’d like to start looking at stories about some people who used interesting ways to get what they wanted. This is what I call ‘The Reality Series,’ because, when it comes to systems (like Hanging Out with me) that claim they’ll help you design a great life, talk is cheap.
The question to ask is this: Did anyone real Hang Out with me (or my work) and actually achieve a good life as a result?
They did, and they wrote me letters. (Thousands of them!) You’ll be seeing one or two from time to time.
Today’s letter is the first. It’s about someone who read one of my books or came to one of my workshops and decided to stop waiting for credentials or training. Instead, she just started where she was.
It’s fun to read. The letters I get are always full of feeling and often, fun. In addition, I’m hoping her description of how she got the work she loved will give you some ideas you can use. I’ve given you an exercise so you can really give her method some thought. Try it out.
So, here’s today’s Identity Exercise. It’s in two parts:
First, read this letter I got recently.
Then write the same letter, but replace it with something you’d like to do. Don’t worry about how it turns out and don’t demand that the result is your ‘dream job.’ In fact, write as many of these letters as you like. Their purpose is only to see what new kind of thinking you come up with:
Hi Barbara
I decided to take your advice and started doing my dream job informally, without pay.
Just for fun, I started a program at my kids’ school that focused on the talents of the mothers. Once a month, a mom would share her unique talent with the other mothers. It allowed the moms to see what others did in their “spare time” and helped them see the many possible careers there were available to stay-at-home Moms. I was absolutely floored by all the talented women! Many wanted to work part-time, but were unsure of how to start, or afraid to take the plunge. Some of the women came to me and asked me if I would teach them how to get started.
So I taught an informal class on how to work from home. This evolved into a class at our University. From there, doors just seemed to open up! It has been very exciting and fulfilling! I now get to use my analytical skills (strategic planning) with a group (primarily stay-at-home Moms) that I relate to. I have individual clients who need help figuring out how to work from home, as well as businesses who would like to help their company and employees benefit from “working-from-home” arrangements. I get to travel to conduct seminars, but most importantly, I get to work from home too!
KJ, Des Moines, IA
Now, pretend the same thing happened to you and rewrite her letter, but replace her words with something that interests you. Try to write fast, without thinking too much. See where the story takes you. (You can do this exercise a number of times, using a different story each time.)
For example:
Just for fun, I started a program at my local community center / hospital day room / office in the lunchroom / church / film dept of a local college that focused on the talents / hobbies / dreams / math skills of the members / visitors / co-workers / parents of school kids / film students, etc.
See what you come up with.
Can’t wait to see your comments.
David -Sorry for the delay in answering. I work all day on Mon and Tues. Time crunch.
Re: Your question about making a miracle happen-the oncologist’s words. What did he mean?
He meant that he had never seen a tumor shrink down to nothing like mine did. I had advanced cancer-a big tumor was sticking out of the middle of my chest-you could see it.
Most of his patient’s do not have all that much success with chemo. In the beginning, he predicted that after chemo-he would have to operate to take out thee tumor. I would have a big hole there and they would have to take a skin graft from my leg to patch it. Stop! Bad visual! I said-How can I get better with that picture now in my mind. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THIS! I will do my thing-you do yours. My thing-mind-body-spirit-above all=PEACE OF MIND-NO PERFECTION!
I noticed that you said that the new age folks made you feel bad-that you are not doing things perfectly. Run don’t walk to the nearest exit when you hear that. That thinking can make you sick. You will beat yourself up for not being PERFECT. It is an act of self abuse against your inner child. That thinking can stress your immune system-send cortisol through your body-and slow down your white blood cells trying to defend you.
Those New Age folks have never been sick. Watch them the next time they get a gall stone attack. They will be squealing like pigs!
Having said that-I did use visuals and self hypnosis. That sounds like a contradiction. But like is a mystery. It does not fit into the either/or categories. Think-both/and not either/or-transcend the categories and include the best from both.
No perfection/
We do have clinical studies that with biofeedback-a person can influence the body down to a single cell.
Those cells are listening to your inner force-so be good to yourself.
So-hear is the visual I used 2 times a day-15 minutes- for about 5 months:
*I did progressive relaxation to relax
* I did this to a CD of drumming-to kick my brain waves into alpha.
*I first was floating on blue water. I drifted to a lotus pad.
*The pad carried me into the sky-up to the clouds.
*I entered a cloud cave.
*I was stretched out on a crystal healing table.
*A medicine woman came in to heal me. Dancers were dancing to the drums behind her.
* She put her hands over the tumor spot.
*I then saw millions of white wolves-my white blood killer cells – coming out of my bones and racing to the tumor to destroy it.
*I saw each individual cancer cell.
*The wolves tore into the cells. They were howling.. They had such a great time.
*There was no doubt who would win.
*After 15 minutes-I had a battlefield of dead cells.
*These cells must be removed -in reality-they can make you sick.
*I bought a freight train into the area. An old fashioned bucket brigade passes buckets filled with dead cells down the line and into the cars.
*I sent the train down to my kidneys and liver where the cells were dumped out of my body thru a chute.
*I went back to the tumor area and a healing light cleaned up everything.
*I saw very healthy tissue -no cancer.
*Last scene-I saw myself in the future-very healthy-living with joy and peace of mind -and helping others live and find peace of mind.
This is what I tell people I mentor. At first my goal was to cure myself physically. That was not correct. That sets me up for failure and self abuse. What if I couldn’t cure the cancer? That would jus become another reason to attack myself. “You scred up again. I knew it. You are a loser.” No-the goal must be peace of mind and living a life of. Contentment. That can be guaranteed if you start saying yes to yourself. That is-healing the spirit. And-you just might get a cure as a side effect. You can win even if you die. Even if you don’t cure the body-you can heal and win.
That is the real meaning of conquering cancer-peace of mind-finding out how to live a life-like St Bernard.
This is very interesting. I am impressed. I need to stay on a schedule and do some sort of visualizations too
Donna Jackson Nakazawa discusses some of these approaches in a 2013 book, The Last Best Cure. She got herself to a better place and is pain-free from having had several auto-immune diseases. I think she said she knew that if she went back to old habbits her pain would return. I recall her describing it as healed, but not cured, meaning her autoimmune stuff is sort of in remission. Interesting. Whenever I try to play my Brain Sync delta wave music, I get jittery. Maybe trying to play it for 60 minutes at a time is too much. I once read about a guy, I think his name is David Demar, and he turned the genetic code into 4 music notes.
Yes Wen I love everything you are saying. I’m back to work after 2 1/2 days off due to pain. And I’m in the New Age group of folks, but I also agree that trying to fix it, cure it, be perfect is damaging. Also the “you did this to yourself” thing.
Although if you look at it from another angle sometimes there are some things you did yourself … or at least I can say I did myself – had I quit instead of moving the boxes, had I left the job earlier, had I not taken the shuttle, little decisions that likely would have had a tremendously different outcome but I didn’t listen to my knowing that it was time to move on and I stayed out of fear.
Likewise I do what you are talking about, and spend a great deal of time in meditation and appreciations. There were times when I had to live with other people and it was really hard to find anything to appreciate, and also find any time to just have *quiet* to just BE WITH MYSELF. but definitely the more I find to appreciate the more things come my way TO appreciate.
Eric, I’m wanting to add also I’m feeling rather blah and on the depressed side of things today. The last 2 1/2 days of suffering and lying in bed and being in the dark and out of the sunshine hasn’t been good for my spirit, and I have to make a concerted effort to pep myself back up. It would be *very* easy for me to make decisions that would continue to leave me feeling blah.
Perhaps you have been in blah so long you don’t know how to find your way out? Just being able to sit up enough to look out the window into sunshine and trees is nice.
I know there have been many years I spent feeling depressed and miserable, and not being able to find my way out. I did not jump from there to here in one go, it was a lot of little steps, but you have to start with the steps.
We can’t do it for you, it’s an inner journey. Action leads to momentum, starting is the key, starting anywhere, do something.
Athena-Sorry you have been down the last few days. But -you are the best example that Eric and others could have! Sometimes you are up-sometimes you are down. That is why it is dangerous to wait until you feel better to act. You demonstrate this in your daily posts. What an example for Eric and others.
I believe. That in order to get well-you must treat that inner child self really well. The NewAgers love to have us beat up that inner child.That inner child can’t heal when we are constantly saying-“You screwed up again. I knew it. You must be defective.”
The inner child can heal when we do what we love-learn to say no to just doing things to please others-and stop demanding perfection from that child.
Love your focus on gratitude and meditation.
I have been a student of Sri Aurobindo for many years.
I agree with you. It is an inside job. The goal isn’t a physical cure. The goal is living your best life. That is -the healing of mind-body-spirit. And -just maybe-a physical cure will be a side effect of that healing.
Love your list. Eric will be trying it out!
Athena,
I’m trying stuff, often get done and say “there is something missing”
Have you or Barbara Sher looked at Tim Kelley on passion/love ? There could be what I am missing.
I am not familiar with Tim Kelly but I CAN say that when I feel like there is something missing, really, it is that I am not expressing my authentic self.
The last several months I’ve been increasingly getting on an f it roll – I shaved my legs because, as a woman, in this society it is expected of me. But it HURTS SO BAD. I stopped. I got all “duded up” with appropriate skinny clothes and makeup and appropriate ornamentation, but IT HURT. So I stopped. I HURT a LOT. I stopped pretending I do not and acknowledge where and how I am.
When I STOPPED pretending I was FINE when I WAS NOT, and was HONEST, then EVERYTHING changed.
My sole biggest mistake since my injury was pretending to be OK when I am not. When I did that I ALWAYS felt alone, I ALWAYS felt like something was missing, I ALWAYS wanted someone to love me just as I am …
But when I am just honestly myself – then my whole world changed.
Athena,
That is what I am lacking – authentic self – what you really love, why, purpose – What Tim Kelley states. Looking in and out for answers
Eric you are missing the point … when you are your authentic self it all falls into place.
And I am saying it even can be little – I have been learning how to grow ginger and have been having problems with tippyness and ants and clearing out ants I found cockroaches. This is not earth shattering but the amount of people following me due to this ginger growing process is mind blowing.
Honestly – all things I can do, am capable of, and people are focused on this.
Johanna-
Thanks for helping create the space to share. Love this group. Yes-Achterberg was one of my mentors. But I used her first book-Re: Rituals and shamanic healing.
I had a vision for months during the treatment. I was surrounded my shaman.
After healing-I was sent to Mexico to my job. It was a total mistake. I work in fighting insurance companies in the US. But a Mexican governmental organization asked us to go to Mexico City to study their Social Security system. I speak Spanish. I was sent. Ugh! Day after day listening to government officials. Then one day they took us to the mountains to attend a farm worker union meeting. Ugh! But it turned out to be a Mexican government sponsored curandero conference way out in a field in the middle of nowhere.
I found myself surrounded by shaman who had come out of the mountains and jungles-and who traveled for days-to attend. I got to meet Mexico’s top shaman/curanderos-about 100 of them. They all wore their regalia. I was treated by many of them. A woman curandera hit my face with green leaves and sucked on my neck! Chupandome.
How strange. I had that vision. Never planned it. And ended up surrounded by shaman!
Thanks again for your words of support.
Athena-Thanks so much for the info. You provide great details. I think that the web guy was talking about some restrictions on selling if you didn’t self host. If that doen’t ring a bell with you-I bet there are no restrictions on selling things through Facebook or the hosted deals -wordpress.
Thanks again. Really helpful info.
Myabe he’s talking about a country other than USA? Like I said, I know what’s OK here, but not elsewhere.
Eric-
Yikes! What a wonderful list! How creative!
When is the last time you did any of the items on that list?
Wen,
I have a lot of ‘music in me. I do not want to let it fade away. I have tried many of them now, but I do not get the spark, intrinsic pull, nor drive… and the important essence that goes with it to bring joy and wellness to others.
What do I really truly want? I am at a loss. Hoping the community here can help.
David-
I will post a longer answer to your question tomorrow morning. But just wanted.to mention that I fight insurance companies and HMOs for a living. If you have any problems with the medical industrial complex-I love your term -let me know.
LOL Wen maybe you could have helped me! I applied for disability numerous times and was denied, and I couldn’t get unemployment because I couldn’t work because I was disabled. I couldn’t get the treatment I needed because I didn’t have money to pay, and after using up all my savings had to move in with anyone who would take me just to survive – which did NOT help my healing, but did keep me alive. I couldn’t even get food stamps. I couldn’t get a lawyer because I wasn’t seeing a doctor because I had no money to pay for a doctor therefore stopped going to appointments – and my doctor labeled me “permanent & stationary disabled” meaning they believed there was nothing more that they could do for me and told me not to come back.
I may be too far beyond anything now to get any kind of help, but having help sure would have made a difference!!
Athena- Glad to help. Yes-I know the routine. You can’t go to the doctor because you don’t have the money. But you can’t win your SS Disability case because you have no doc records to submit. Soc Security turns around and says-“If you didn’t go to the doc-you must not have been very sick.”
That is a sad story about trying to navigate the benefits maze-and moving in with those folks. Not sure where you are in the process. So-let’s start in the beginning:
*Permanent and stationary is a Worker’s Compensation Ins term.
Did you file for worker’s comp? This was a work injury?
*If so-when?
*You would then normally get an award-money-once the docs file the permanent and stationary-meaning you won’t get better with more treatment.
*at that point-you would have applied for SS DISABILITY.
*When did you file$
*Problem is -you can’t win the case without doctor’s records showing repeated-on going visits. There was no way to win.
*Re Medicaid. Just because the refuse you on the first try doesn’t mean that you can’t try to tweak things to win. Sometimes you can-sometimes you can’t.
*As you can see -these cases are quite complex. I help cancer patients and other navigate this crazy system.
*Do you have insurance right now. To do anything-you have to set up a paper trail of doctor’s visits.-a history of being treated.
Depending on your income and state -you should be eligible for Medicaid or the new ACA-Obamacare.
Let me know the answers to the above questions. Then-we can see if there are any possibilities for you with regard to the government benefits programs.
Also-do you get SNAP-Food Stamps?
I was injured in August 2001. My last regular doctor visits ended somewhere around 2004 / 2005 when my doctors declared me P&S (which, also by the way, is the last time I had any prescribed pain medications, which has been very annoying the last decade).
I did get a settlement and used that very small amount up in just a few months while trying to build some kind of business for myself so I didn’t have to go back to work and shoes and pantyhose and driving and noise. I had a *very* hard time with follow through – I learned a lot but made little profit.
I first applied for disability around the time my doctors labeled me P&S. I have been applied and been denied about 6 times. The appointments are horrible – the one that had me deciding it would be my last had me on the floor whimpering in a corner, the doctor and nurse had to carry me out to the waiting room, where I spent 4 hours vomiting into a trash can, and I was denied. Each disability appointment takes me about 45 days to recover from. After that, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it again.
The cost and suffering was just so high, I felt my time was better spent trying to keep up with my stretches and exercises, and do what I could do to build a very part time home business. THAT is something I have control over.
I would have been in the recovery room longer but I was about at the last minute before rush hour from San Francisco, and I knew that I would be very dangerous, likely killing myself or someone else, if I drove because I had little motor control, was still throwing up, and was half-blind from pain.
I was unable to qualify for food stamps in California but did qualify for a brief time when I moved to Florida. I have been very good about increasing my income these last few years so they terminated my benefits once I earned a certain income point.
Now I am self-employed and my income varies wildly. This month I haven’t been paid since December 6, other months I have made as much as $1,400 a week.While that money was good I couldn’t sustain what that job required – and the client hasn’t the funds to pay me now anyway. I was regularly breaking down into tears from the fairly normal but beyond my physical limitations workload.
I no longer have the files for my medical treatment (I had been getting photocopies of every appointment, copies of every x-ray, MRI), but those are all lost to me now. I do have a database for all my workers’ comp appointments so it would be easy to at least show that, and I supposed doctors would still have records? All these years later maybe not.
Over the years when I’ve had money or been treated to an appointment I have seen other doctors, but not regularly.
LOL Talking about this I’m reminded of that scene in the Disney / Pixar movie The Incredibles where Bob aka Mr. Incredible is working for Insuracrare and is getting chewed out by his boss because he’s actually HELPING the customers.
Bob: “Aren’t we supposed to help our customers?”
Boss: Sullenly, “By law I am required to answer ‘yes’.”
🙂
Barbara -Re: Berkeley. That is funny-anti anti communists!
They were too rigid. Took themselves way too seriously. I was shocked to find out there was so much dancing and fun during the revolution in El Salvador and Nicaragua. The peasants would tell us that when the bombs aren’t falling -let’s dance! And they would come out of their hiding places in caves and dance with us. They were nomadic-fled the military and ran into the hills when they occupied their villages. They had. To muffle their babies when they cried in the night and gave out their location. Some mothers ended up killing their babies -while pressing them against their chest. But they still danced when the bombs weren’t falling. We could barely gather the energy to dance with them. We were traumatized just hearing their stories. But they forced us to dance. They carried instruments with them when they fled-a few violins, a bass, and a metate -a stone rolling pin to make tortillas.
So-I learned how to survive my own difficult times from they. Funny how that worked out. We went to El Salvador to help them-and they taught us how to survive any catastrophe.
The one basic rule they taught me -when the bombs stop falling-let’s dance!
That was my motto during my cancer treatment-and I made sure to do it every day.
As far as Berkeley goes, there were two major groups when I went to school there-the radicals and the peace, love, and good vibes folks. I was in the newer radical camp. We weren’t that rigid and even participated in all the psych groups, etc. But that camp really hated the non-political dope smoking group.
Yes-I had lots of training in radical stuff. Before Berkeley-I integrated Howard Univ. I am not Black. I thought it was a movement. But I was the only participant. I was the only White woman in all of my classes. They were way too conservative for me-even with Rap Brown and Stokely.
I had participated in CORE before that. I met MLK. Later-fled Berkeley and studied community organizing at UC Davis.
Studied corporate affiliation research and revolutions.
Then I went to study privately with Cesar Chavez. I lived in his home camp for a week and met with him daily. He lived in an old TB sanatorium in the mountains outside of Delano. He developed strategy with his national organizers there. One of his chief organizers left and started a more radical organization. He became my mentor.
So-all that prepared me to participate in the Central American revolutions as a human rights activist. I met Ortega in Nicaragua and interviewed guerrillas in the mountains of El Salvador. I was arrested and caught in bombings there many times. But I always remembered the motto the peasants taught me, “Let’s dance when the bombs aren’t falling.”
So I guess you could say that everything I learned about how to survive and thrive in the face of catastrophe-I learned from the guerillas/peasants in the war zone and from an owl named Wendall!
Hasta la victoria siempre!
Wen. You continue to amaze and inspire me. “Let’s dance when the bombs aren’t falling,” is an amazing motto and I may adopt it as my own. Still jealous you have an owl for a friend! 🙂
Athena, you are magnificent. And I agree with pretty much everything you say. (Probably everything, but I haven’t read it all yet.) What you’ve done and are advising is simply inspired. It’s a How To course with specific details. A person can actually go out and do what you have done. Well, they might need a coach to keep them on track, wouldn’t you say? Or a Success Team? Or both.
Right now, in Germany, I’m training coaches in that first step (When their clients can’t answer: What do I want?), but you should set up shop as that kind of coach yourself. Just keep answering questions, like you did here.
I get letters from people pretty regularly who say they don’t know what they want. The process you’ve described here is just super for many of them and I will happily refer them to you.
Barbara – your words touch me deeply. I cannot express the joy I feel reading your words!! You have inspired me greatly!!
Thank you!!
🙂
I am thinking of all the years I did not know what I wanted, who I am. I am aware of how good it feels to know myself. I LOVE helping people come back to that place of self-knowingness. 🙂
Life rocks being here! 🙂
Athena
You have what I need. That inspiration, love to do what you are doing. What do I want? like? It is a cloudy, disconnected stage I am in. Hope to find help here.
Eric – just go do stuff.
What do you like to do? model airplanes? do you like buffalos? How about the Lindy Hop?? Face painting? Tatoos?
As i mentioned elsewhere … Barbara Sher suggests a (badly parapharased) list; 1 – i hate this to 10 I’d do this for free. And do 8+
Yes this is where I started. Literally. My 8+ list was not waking up to an alarm. Clean fur free sheets. Warm socks out of the dryer.
I have too much zucchini, what do I do with it.
Seriously. It can be that simple.
Share with us! Are you OK waking up to an alarm? do you have the same, breakfast or does it vary? Do you garden? Play an instrument? work with wild animals? Chart the stars? Know what to do with opo? Tell us!
For some reason I am reminded of something that proves your point, Athena, even for people who really want to make bucks, and soon. I think it was Chris Guillebeau who wrote about an insanely successful (financially) website called something like “How to have a happy hamster”
I think he interviewed the owner in one of his early books (self-published) which were, incidentally, about things like How to fly almost free with frequent flyer miles. And other random subjects. Chris is doing just fine these days, incidentally. I’ll be speaking at his 2nd or 3rd event in Oregon next summer. I’ll come back with the details. Brain has had enough today and won’t remember any details.
Yes exactly! And that’s what a lot of people talk about with marketing your business … I know much of what you talk about, Barbara, is the point is to just play and have fun and explore your passions whether they are income opportunities or not. I choose to make my passions income opportunities so I have been learning about this.
I wrote the bulk of my cat book in 16 hours. I would have it done and out but between the emotions around it, limited functioning time, and the need to pay bills first, it’s not quite finished. (Although I’m sure I could put it out there imperfectly.)
I know a woman who has a “write a book in a weekend” program, and you really CAN write a book like that in a weekend – not War and Peace by any means, but a quick “informational sheet” so to speak about things you know very well.
Honestly, I want to buy the “How to have a happy hamster” book out of sheer curiosity!!
A thing that comes to mind also is: people are busy. Many people don’t have time to research this or that they are interested in. Many people, even if they know the answers, don’t write it down to share. If you write it down and share there are people who would gladly trade a couple bucks for quick solutions vs. trading hours / weeks / months researching & learning.
Athena,
I am doing stuff. The do for free is the tricky part and where you’re best authentic self is. Where the flow is.
I do not need an alarm, my breakfast varies. I garden. I feel stuck
ai ya you are stuck in the sticky mud of the La Brea Tar Pits … I know that place well.
OK – set up a website to blog about your passions.
Talk to us here about your passions.
Just … seriously … talk with us about anything. Seriously.
My garden created far more zucchini than I could handle, so I found and also created recipes around that.
Seriously … spaghetti at the wall …throw ALL of it out there …all your thoughts, desires, fears, worries, concerns … this is a safe place. Lay it on us … let us help you.
So .. breakfast … lately I’ve been craving eggs and bacon, but with my living space I cannot cook bacon.
Weekends – I love sleeping in,no alarms.
I have a crazy, but effective,way of making oatmeal with a variety of ingredients … but lately I substituted honey for sugar and it sucks, I hate it. As soon as I can I will go back to the original recipe.
Are these silly? Yes, but that is the point – do what pleases you.
Don’t worry about the money for now. LITERALLY people will phone you up and ask for your help.
Athena
People literally calling you and asking for help… That is the essence of it all – helping out others with what you know and having the joy of giving your gifts.
What do I really want? I hope to get some insight here. I feel like a kid in a candy store who says ” I don’t even know what I want to sample.”
Let it evolve over time.
Start investigating and sharing things you are interested in.
Just keep doing your “pay your bills job” and do other things, lunch, breaks, evenings, weekends.
I will be honest… I worked a day job I hated. I TRIED to get other work… long story short I found out my client company was PLEASED with my work, therefore I was never allowed the option to work at another company despite my daily calls to PLEASE move me elsewhere.
Turns out months I spent BEGGING to be moved, being told there were no jobs available.Which was a lie.
So … six months desperately looking for another job. Employer says “do this or you’re fired”. Since I had spent 6+ months looking for a job and found none ( though it was an account manager at a temp agency deciding my future despite my needs, wants, desires. abilities) I did the “do this or else” job – not realizing it would affect the next 70 years of my life. Had I known, I would have gladly let them fire me.)
Yes, this is miserable, but THAT IS THE POINT. DO NOT DO THAT.
I would trade pain for scouring the streets for recyclables or making m money off pizza delivery tips. I am grateful I can work just barely 6 hours in a day, but most people work 9 including lunch, entrepreneurs work 12 or more. I used to work 20+.
Just … do what you love, and do it as often as possible.
“…not realizing it would affect the next 70 years of my life.”
Are you already 95? Or you mean you’re expecting to be, maybe. Or a typo? (I’d love to know someone with your creative energy who’s 95. In fact, I hope to *be* someone with almost that much creative energy at 95.) 🙂
““…not realizing it would affect the next 70 years of my life.”
Are you already 95? Or you mean you’re expecting to be, maybe. Or a typo? (I’d love to know someone with your creative energy who’s 95. In fact, I hope to *be* someone with almost that much creative energy at 95.) :-)”
Well, my family lives to be well over 100, and as my injury happened in my early 30s and doctors said I would be this way for life, going by their determination I can only assume 70 more years.
But I’m working to change that!!!
But yes, also my fathers side of the family continues to be quite active and creative even into their 100s. 🙂
It is from them I need the balance of left brain / right brain: plumbers, administrators, professors, inventors by day, glass blowers, musicians, sailors. chefs, artesians by night. 🙂
Oh My Gosh. Never put that together before.
If I was in the hands of my father / father’s side of the family things would be so different. I should connect with them.
How could I have gone ’round the sun this many times and not seen that?
After I posted my last comment, I was thinking of my uncle who does glass blowing. He created a whole building, tribe, conglomeration, of people who work with fire based things. He calls it Hot Shops and is Omaha, Nebraska. Whether that’s glass blowing or bead making, or wrought iron creations or, well, anything with flame or torch, you can rent out studio space with him.
I’ve done some phenomenal (crazy and lopsided) pieces with him. I helped him create a humongous piece of work for a hospital.
LOL My dad would say “if it stands up and holds water it’s a success!!” Honestly, the sizes, shapes, dimensions of things was truly bizarre.
In his earlier days he was in the historic district. People, including the police, would come by, play music, sing, drink beer – and the beer bottles would be summarily and joyfully crashed into a bin … because the glass from that particular beer would create rainbow effects on blown glass pieces.
How many thousands of lives has he touched, I wonder?
Oh and I forgot to say he did that nights and weekends.
He had a regular ordinary job during the day. It’s so regular and ordinary honestly I cannot tell you what he does.
LOL Sometimes I wish we could edit … I was reading my comments … learning to glass blow sizes and shapes were bizarre. He got good at it and now,well for years has been able to do very finely crafted things.
Just lost in the time space dimension of mentally visiting my fathers side of the family, the professor chefs, the inventor macremaers, the plumber farmers, the nurse musicians, the administrator glass blowers.
LOL Wanting to add … my family goes on long and strong .. at 95 my grandfather (who paid bills by plumbing and farmed as a hobby, and who retired from plumbing decades ago) realized he couldn’t keep up with his cows so leases out his cows and land to a younger man. If he could he would still be out there with them.
Grandma still makes the best fruit pies you’d ever hope to eat, the fluffiest pie crusts. I cannot eat any pies but grandma’s. And they still polka every Sunday night. 🙂
I suppose all this is an example of how you don’t have to do anything earth shattering for your passions, but doing your passions has a beneficial ripple effect you cannot anticipate.
You’re missing the point, Eric. You really have to sit down and think about the small, homely things you do during your day, and actually give them H-Level numbers. You have to back up from the exalted stuff like ‘authentic’ and ‘flow.’
Athena is one of the lucky few who understands how important are the little things we overlook. She feels happy when she thinks about them. But you don’t think about them. Most of us don’t.
Give it a real try. Walk through your home with a pad and pencil in hand and let your eyes fall on anything – give it a grade, a number from ‘lousy’ or 1, to ‘really great’ or 9. Most people aren’t used to doing that.
Give it a try.
If it just doesn’t work for you – and sometimes, when you feel demoralized (aka ‘stuck’) it just doesn’t — tell us what you *are* doing that you love – that stuff you said you’re already doing.
Just forget the money for a moment. We’ll get back to that but it always has to come second. First, tell us what you were talking about, because I think you said you really enjoy the ‘stuff.’ Did I read that righ?
Eric -I agree with Athena and Barbara. You must put what you love into your life every day.
When I had cancer and was getting chemo-I could not go around doing big things/trips,etc. So I had to find ways to find joy daily-right in my own home or locally.
I made sure that no day was a chemo day or medical day. I see people scheduling all of their tests/treatment on the same day. It takes up the whole day and makes life miserable-not good for the immune system.
I refused. I scheduled surgery for 5 pm. I had an outpatient biopsy at 11am and then went out to a shopping center and park with a friend until 5pm. I was late for the surgery! But later-my oncologist said later-“You made a miracle happen.”
But that is how you make miracles happen. You find things that give you joy in your everyday life. And then you schedule time to do them.
I even insisted in wearing my headphones into the operating room. They said that I couldn’t have the surgery. Oh well. Of course they gave in. My music helped me get through it.
I also visit my friend Wendall at our local zoo-every day. She is an owl. She jumps up and down when she sees me and displays her wings. Then I go and do tricks with the goats.
I do this almost every day.
These are my highest score activities.
What did you love to do when you were a child-when you didn’t notice time passing. That might be your joy project-or some modified form of that.
Just have fun!
Answering Wise Wen, who finds time for important things, says hello to an owl every day who answers her with enthusiasm, and successfully wore a headset into surgery:
St. Bernard was a tormented soul, and he said something very tormented, but somehow the words are so beautiful that have lifted themselves out of his context and mean almost the opposite to me. First he said, “The scriptures have taught me how to live.” That’s just background for the sentence I love.
He went on to say, “Do you think it a small thing to know how to live?”
Well, I don’t think it’s a small thing. I sure don’t. St. Bernard and his fellow monks were trying to turn their backs on the simple joys of nature, very consciously. (That’s one of the reasons they were so tormented.)
But Wen says Hi to a friend of hers who’s an owl. And he says hello back.
There is much to learn here.
Wen. You continue to amaze me! I think its so great that you have an owl as a friend! I’m so jealous!!! Give Wendell a wave and play with the goats for me!!!
Wen,
“You find things that give you joy in your everyday life” I am stuck here.
As a child I explored, but never got that deep in areas which makes one an expert. Nothing clicked, which is what I am missing. I did jigsaw puzzles, math/word games, building things from Lego’s, drawing. song writing, bicycle riding, hiking.
Athena,
Inspiration. That is a missing piece of mine. Also the “why” I am getting stuck with. – writing or noticing things I like and MY personal why behind them. – the juice that keeps one going (The Hero’s Journey) that you and Barbara Sher have.
Eric don’t worry about the big thing or the thing right now. Honestly when I first did this it was a fair amount of thinking, pondering, work. The only thing I could light on was how much I love wearing warm fluffy sock right out of the dryer.
But start exploring, you will never get where you want to be if you don’t try.
Athena,
Passions? I know overthinking will not do me any good. I feel as though Barbara and I are to take a long plane ride or a full day together to figure what I love.
Read about Chris G. and his changing up the establishment. This is something that has been resurfacing with me – changing the establishment in some way.
Things that capture my eye are of a creative fit/organizational/product or not.
I absorb information quickly.
Ex: Jigsaw puzzles (can easily spot the pieces). Any math I took was easy. The higher math was more intense and got my mind moving.
Directions/procedures to do things, go places are second nature – write then down I know what to do/where to go 1st or 2nd time I do the procedures. A GPS? It’s wired in me.
I have some sharp, undeveloped high pattern/sound recognition as indicated above.
Good word usage Athena: Crave
Athena- I agree with Barbara. You have been there and really know what it takes to get out of the pit.
I love the details you are giving us on all the techie stuff. The autoresponder is so helpful. I like the idea of a more passive type of income-the auto classes.
I am going to see how I can use that one.
Eric,
I was taking algebra and geometry and doing computer programming in college when I was 6 years old. I learned “math tricks” which makes math easy, I can add and subtract all kinds of numbers in halves of second. In fact, when they tried to knock me out for surgery I was so “math adept” I got to zero well before the anesthesia kicked in! 🙂
Perhaps you can write these things down and share with others?
The thing I have learned over time is we minimize the things that come easily to us. But what comes easily to us is hard for others.
Share what you do here! All stuff.
I will begin:
I have created databases to track medical records and daily tasks.
I have created and use databases to track information for a cross-county research project.
I use Excel to sort and track logins, my cats’ weight, daily goals.
I use Word to track interesting informational articles including their html site.
I am reading about Buddhism and studying and implementing meditations.
I live with chickens, iguanas, geckos, peacocks, raccoons and rats – and am living in the Florida Keys – I am learning to grow food for myself in this very … um …. interesting environment.
In the Florida Keys it is typical to not have ovens, stoves, kitchens, even bathrooms, so I am learning to adapt. All my cooking is done on a 2 burner camp stove &/or a slow cooker. I am investigating cooking with a solar oven.
I have friends who do wood carving only with hand tools.
I know people who hand make paper and fabrics, and lovingly and to me magically put rich colorful pictures on fabrics.
We all have our unique gifts and our unique spin on things. Do not minimize that.
If you don’t know what your “thing” is right now I again say don’t worry about it, take it off like a coat, hang it up. Set it aside.
Go out, play, experience, do, be, explore, think, write, create, play, have fun.
Trust me, in time it will come! It always does! I have gone through this numerous times as I was lost and found my way to a new home.
Athena,
we are alike with the math. I also remember free hand drawing I did as a child. I am here to get my thing(s) out there to others. It is frustrating to just float along the surface and not do much.
I agree with you, Barbara. Athena has been fabulous this last few days. Inspiring and encouraging and endearingly honest. Ive just have to plan a trip to SF – gotta go to the Fog Fest and the Talk Like a Pirate contest.
Me too. When’s the foggy season? When I was in school in Berkeley it was pretty miserable from fall through spring and heavenly in the summer. (In those days, summer was like spring in the Bay Area. I hear that’s changed.)
Well, anywhere that holds fab sounding Festivals has to be better than post-xmas January in the UK…
Barbara-You just sent me into flashback mode!
I had a small room on the second floor on Dwight Way. If you stood in the right position, you could see the fog on the Berkeley Hills. Very peaceful -except for the nightly attacks on the Bank of America on Telegraph Ave.
Now I see another scene. The National Guard has taken over the town. I am being arrested and taken out to Santa Rita prison farm for participating in People’s Park. My mug shot was taken outside in the holding lot-the bank again. Reporters were there from all over the world. My mug shot got a full page in Paris Match. But I had to share the pic with the arresting cop. He looks quite perplexed-funny pic. Ok-now I have to calm down. That was exciting!
Wow, Wen. You were there when things got noisy. I was the last of the ‘Bohemians,’ just before the ‘Beats.’ Our political position was that we were anti-anti-communists. We didn’t like Communists at all. They were too rigid. But we knew our parents and right-wingers were always fools 🙂
I’m beginning to see where you got your fearlessness! You had practice!
Barbara, trying to reply to your post concerning Bohemians v. Beats. You seem to have gone during a Golden Age before it got wild. I’d have liked that time, I think. I don’t do wild so well. BTW, at that time at Berkeley, there was a blind law professor, I understand a bmoc, Jacobus Tenbrooke, red beard guy. Very lead-follow-or-get-out-of-the-way. Do you possibly recall ever observing him on the campus??? Just curious.
Wen, in a posting you told Eric about your surgery. Wow, you had surgery at 5:00 p.m.!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I’d want to get mine over early. I’d hate to not eat all day. I’d be so hungry. But I’m impressed how you handle the Industrial Medical Complex including ear phones. So you made a miracle happen. Do you mean in how you responded to your treatments?
I tried to assert myself with several specialists and was told not to call their cell phone — the kind office nurse had given it to me or I was sent a registered letter saying they were unable to help me or told to come as the last appointment because my case was complicated and it would take lots of time and other patients would be delayed. What about my being delayed late in the day because said doctor always ran late to start with and same doctor’s office closed and left me standing alone in the dark outside a building waiting for a ride to come which was late and me with no cell phone then. Luckily, for me, a lady was stopping by to pick up blood samples and made a call for me. I could go on. I wonder if concierge doctors treat paying customers so inconsiderately. And on and on.
🙂 FogFest is in September in Pacifica, California, it was September 27-28 in 2014. http://pacificcoastfogfest.com.
Talk Like A Pirate Contest is the July 4 weekend at Ripley’s Believe it Or Not Museum at Pier 39. I do not know if they are still doing that.
As mentioned, International Talk Like A Pirate Day is September 19. http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
And this is case in point … just go out there and PLAY. Who knew that in 2005, 2006, my silly list of silly local activities for my own amusement would benefit people around the world in 2015?
I PROMISE YOU people will come to you and ask for your expertise – just get out there and do stuff!!!
That is so cool. I did have visions of the FogFest being more about a celebration of all things Fog ( and weather – still looks good tho). And the Talk like a Pirate – def gotta do that. Reminds me of how (only a few yrs ago) I used to do fab themed parties for my friends. Last one I did was Battle of the Bands. I set up my home like a mini music fest. We had quizzes, everyone has to perform on kiddie music instruments. Such fun. Then the friendship group drifted apart ( various reasons: health, moving away etc etc) so. It done one since 2011. Miss doing it….
“Athena: what events at Stonehenge are you planning ( or were you joking?). I live pretty close to Stonehenge ( although I prefer Avebury. Have you ever been to the White Horse in Uffington? Very atmospheric. I spent a summer several years ago visiting all the white horses. Sometimes a bit tricky to find just the right spot to take good photos.’
No I’m not joking. I haven’t entirely fleshed out the idea yet but want to have spiritual experiences at spiritual hot spots around the world, Stone henge, or other henges, included. I want to include local spiritual practitioners to enhance the experience.
Oh you’ll have to do Glastonbury then. The Chalice Well and try to walk up the Tor
Ok I will!! I copied and pasted your comments into my “Stonehenge dream planning” document! 🙂
Now I live surrounded by the cobalt blue water and palm trees of a subtropical island … but for a couple decades I fell asleep to the sounds of crashing waves and the foghorn of a town south of San Francisco – it has taken me many years to get used to sleeping without the waves & foghorn! 🙂
What got you to move to Florida–I’m two states away to the west.
Well, since this is a place for growth from honesty I will tell you:
Honestly … I don’t know how to answer this in an uplifting way. I am open to suggestions.
The flippant answer is “it seemed like a good idea at the time”.
The medium answer is “my relationship brought me here”.
The in-depth answer is a lot more involved. 🙂 having lived in San Fransisco, and LA, and New York, having spent months driving around the country with my cats, experimenting with different living environments, I never thought I would land HERE of all places. After traveling round the continental US I found that the San Francisco Bay Area pretty much lined up with who I am.
The honest answer is much darker. I am open to putting an authentic but positive spin on it! 🙂 People ask me all the time but I don’t know what to say. The total truth isn’t pretty.
Well, perhaps, now, what is important is that you have seemed to enjoy Florida and it seems to be a place for you to grow. The Bay Area would have been interesting, but tackling that alone scares me or did when I actually once thought about moving away.
LOL! It actually has been hard to be honest, and has forced me to grow in unexpected directions.
San Francisco I know, love, have spent much of my life there. I am in famous pictures of the Flower Power Era even … (yes I know that dates me). This is truly weird and if I knew of the actualities of it (e.g you may have a non working toilet and a plumber may say he will show up “today” but not actually show up for a week, two, a month) I would have never moved here. Sometimes I still trip out I’m here with palm trees instead of living on a mountain range surrounded by redwood trees.
BUT I am in the isolation I need and am forced to ONLY build my business through online resources, not in person, so it is helping me grow that way, which is what I ultimately want – a business that exists and I can maintain if I’m on a sailboat on the ocean, going through the Panama Canal, taking Photo Safari pictures in Africa, creating events to take place in Stonehenge.
Athena: what events at Stonehenge are you planning ( or were you joking?). I live pretty close to Stonehenge ( although I prefer Avebury. Have you ever been to the White Horse in Uffington? Very atmospheric. I spent a summer several years ago visiting all the white horses. Sometimes a bit tricky to find just the right spot to take good photos.
Horses: Answering here as don’t see any more reply buttons after Alex’s horse message.
Alex:
the late British writer, Rosemary Suttcliffe wrote many historic young adult novels about early Britain. One is called Sun Horse, Moon Horse about the white horses. My favorite of her novels is Blood Feud about a British boy who ends up in Constantinople guarding the emperor.
Alex, no I’m not joking about doing events!
One time I laughed and said “wouldn’t it be cool if could travel the world and have other people pay for it?”
And then I stopped for a moment and realized I CAN do that. People are putting on workshops and events all around the world all the time.
I don’t want to get into too much detail (trust me, it will be phenomenally cool!), but also as I have difficulty driving 5 miles away for groceries, or 30 miles away to do something fun, I have to backburner that for now. It will happen when it’s time. I have *plenty* on my plate right now. 🙂
Ha! I guess I’m replying to things twice – there has been such a tremendous lot of activity here, and also with my work. I had responded mostly from my ipad while in bed, and I cannot delete or file emails there. And some things I couldn’t give adequate mental attention at the time.
So I’ve been going through everything and sorting it all out. 🙂
Barbara-Answer to quote from St. Bernard
That quote sums up my life’s journey in one sentence! And your words-wise women-are more important to me than you know. That was my Vision Quest goal.
Let me explain what I mean. Before starting chemo, I knew I needed a metaphor/a template to get through the chemo/radiation ordeal ahead. I refused to be a helpless patient relying on the expertise of the experts to
survive-a total loss of control. I refused to go through this without meaning.
The Native American Vision Quest was my metaphor for the cancer journey. They thought that I was just a helpless patient-but I saw myself on a Heroine’s Journey-a Vision Quest for Wisdom/Wholeness/How to Live A Life Journey.
I did prep for the treatment as one would to prep for the harsh desert walk.I converted every single treatment/chemo session-every moment of my life to the 3 phases of the Quest-Separation-Liminal/Walking the Desert/Dark Night phase and the Return-Bringing the vision back to the people.
A Quest to learn how to live a life.
I did many different things during my Wisdom Initiation.
I did visuals with my animal spirit guides 3 times a day-medicine wheel ceremonies in my living room in preparation for each ordeal-each trial. I set up spirit altars in the chemo room with Huichol shaman yarn painting. I named the radiation machine R2D2. I saw the radiant light of the Big Dipper coming thru the machine to heal me. I wore a medicine bag with my spirit helper fetishes inside-animals. I forced the nurses to participate with me in a ceremony to bless the rad machine with a feather. Every ordeal I converted into my wisdom quest. I walked the desert and climbed the mountain and cried out for a Vision. And the Vision came. The words of St Bernard sum it up in one sentence about learning to live a life being no small thing-a daily/homey life as Barbara says.
Now I am in the final phase -the Return=bringing the Vision back to the people. I visit my friend-an owl named Wendall-every day.
Wen,
what an inspiring, brave journey. Thank your for telling us.
In Jeanne Achterbergs “Rituals of Healing” is simliar advice, I always found that helpful. Gives you back your capacity to act.
Again, thank you.
That’s amazing, Wen. I think Wendell is your spirit guide! Keep us posted on your “Return.” I’m sure you have a lot to share and I’m looking forward to hearing about it.
Wow, that’s amazing, Wen. Fascinating way to deal with health issues, to help protect from the wonders of modern medicine.
Wen,
“who do you admire/inspires you?” comes up as clue to where ones passion/love/destiny
People (like Barbara) who were on the wrong path/or were always on the right path and continue to inspire for decades (they will not stop what they are doing).
Like to see what you have on Baby Angels. I am stuck.
Eric-
Here are some ideas to get you moving into action and to test the resistance/ block.
You just have to jump in and act-on anything-large or small. The answers come from action.
And-we all fear action into new territory.
That is usually what the resistance is about-the fear of the new.
So-test it out.
If you know what you love-you will then have to act. That could be really scary.
But Barbara does have tools to deal with that problem.
So if you are willing to act-here are ideas large and small:
*Most of the Sandy Hook families started non-profits.
*There is a playground project-building 20 playgrounds-one for each child.
*Catherine Violet Hubbard Animal Sanctuary -saves lives of animals.
*Sandy Hook Promise Foundation-gun legislation
*Ben’s Lighthouse-to build a more compassionate world.
*Project Linus – Security through blankets. They need donations of material.
*You probably don’t make quilts. But your drawings of angels/plants could be transferred to a piece of material that would make a square for the quilt. Or-you could make 26 drawings -a block for each victim.
*Or-you could do 26 acts of kindness and tweet each one.
*Get folks in your office to do one act of kindness in memory of the victims and then tweet that act.
*Or-you could set up a facebook page -blog about each act you do-get others to tweet their act.
*Or set up a permanent angel memorial at work .
*Set up a memorial in your yard-plants -angels.
*Draw angels-put drawings on T-shirts and sell them to raise money. Draw plants and put on T-shirts.
Well-you get the idea. Start to act and watch the resistance come-that little voice that tells you it is impossible. Then use Barbara’s tools to overcome the resistance.
Athena, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said: The thing I have learned over time is we minimize the things that come easily to us. But what comes easily to us is hard for others. I hope Eric does talk about that math when he was six and doing college maths.
Now, to find my easy and not minimize.
PS Are databases hard to make? I am told MSAccess is hard for blind people to learn. I had thought about making a database for my book collection, I wanted to have title, author, annotation, narrator, book provider, and such in a d atabase and entries by month and year. I have a list of books going back to Dec 12 of 1986. I probably average about 150-200 books a year, not many really of worth, but it’s fun to read fiction and stuff. It passes the time for me as I can’t always get out and I see through the authors’ descriptions of nature, people, and such.
MSAccess is a great robust program, but it’s not easy to learn even for people with sight. 🙂 Can’t tell you how many times I wanted to throw my computer out the window during the learning process. 🙂
You might find Filemaker easier – it’s not a true relational database but it might suit your needs. That said, what you are describing is pretty easy, it would not take long to put together. In fact I may already have one now that I think about it … I created an Inventory database for a while I was logging all my books and movies.
The other thing I would ask is what your goal is in having a database, how having in a db vs. spreadsheet would be better.
Right now nothing I do is something I’m “dying” to do. But right now everything I do keeps me working, at home, on my on time, on my own schedule, so I can prioritize as necessary.
aWeber is an email auto responder company.
An autoresponder is where you have, for instance, a link on your page to “sign up for__” free report, recorded webinar, a 90 day automated weekly program. It’s either just “there” e.g. on your website or “tossed out” e.g. you post on facebook or twitter or something.
I also am really struggling because I have chronic pain up the wazoo which is so frustratingly erratic I cannot always effectively plan my days. Add chaos-generating people, and crises-offloading clients, and sometimes … well … I focus on other things I can do.
I also honestly can say nothing I am doing right now it is so compelling it just launches me out of bed.
But I CAN say I WORK AT HOME, ON MY OWN TIME, ON MY OWN SCHEDULE, AND I HAVE A WHOLE 24 HOUR DAY IN WHICH TO GET THINGS DONE including cuddling with my cats.
Honestly, right now I DO feel like I’m doing a mish mash of things to pay the bills … but there was a time I could not work at all. Then there was a time I could only work for a job and had no time for me. Now I work various income opportunities at home while I build to what I REALLY want to do, and carve out time, at least a few hours every week, to build that.
As I re-read your message I am reminded of the years I literally did not sleep at all, I am reminded of the years I could barely manage 60 minutes work in a 24 hour day ….
I also still want to create a business where I do not speak, where I have only 20 hours a week to devote to client fulfillment plus client engagement plus implementation plus learning because any more than that is too much for me … but I’m learning that is POSSIBLE. With all the tools available today, there is so much you can do! The insurmountable and expensive things I learned years ago are so easy now ….
I’m trying to get to 10 hours a week infrastructure and 10 hours a week client interaction … with no talking, and being in pjs at home.
I think when you start exploring your likes, your interests, you start creating word documents / blogs for things you are interested in you will find your underlying core – and as you are authentic you will attract others … and your story will help attract and also guide people who will then ask you for direction. I have found that time and again.
Hello, Athena: Very wise response you sent.
I can relate to your saying — nothing I do is something I am dying to do.
I am working on my journal in hopes to publish it. It may be self-publishing. I also am hoping a new law I heard about, dealing with Able accounts is passed so I can put money aside that won’t negatively impact some of my government benefits. I’d like to get a nice halftime job and be busy doing something relatively useful and interesting and have a little money and social interaction. But nothing chaotic or abusive.
I should probably look into this auto-responder thing. If I publish my journal, maybe I should connect it to a blog with occasional updates. I heard WordPress is very accessible now.
I am very sorry to hear of your chronic pain issues. That must be truly difficult and challenging. I hope it was not from an injury or disease and is strictly temporary!
Knowing your pain might flair makes it hard, I suspect, on some days, to get out of bed. I hope you can get a handle on the pain, treat it, find a diet that works for it, and get better while finding a good support group.
Cats are said to be nice therapeutic devices. I hope yours are. I, too, look at the 24-hour cycle as a canvas on which to get things done. It’s about 3:09 a.m. and I’ll probably go wash clothes in a minute. I’m up now so I might as well do something. My mind is clearest when I first get up.
May I inquire of you what you do workwise? What is it that your experience is in?
I do hope the following is very true: I think when you start exploring your likes, your interests, you start creating word documents / blogs for things you are interested in you will find your underlying core – and as you are authentic you will attract others … and your story will help attract and also guide people who will then ask you for direction. I have found that time and again.
Me direction—wow! I’d like.
Thanks.
🙂 David,
My experiences are many and varied – I’ve been a pizza flipper, a dragon painter, a computer consultant, a database designer, a house painter, a landscaper, a gardener, a business analyst, a nurse’s aide, I could go on. 😉 Right now I’m a bookkeeper, a data analyzer, and I am beginning my “launch your business, launch your life” thing.
So … if you are already on Facebook … first go in to all your Friends and mark them as Close Friends. Then go into your page and your posting and re-mark some of them as Public and some as for Close Friends depending on their content.
Then start writing content, sharing yourself. If you want to write a blog I like GoDaddy for domain name registration and FatCow for web hosting and using WordPress for developing content. I have also read a lot about publishing books … Amazon has a free eBook, I have another book I use for reference but cannot find at the moment.
Honestly, we all have our own unique gifts, talents, spin on things. We can communicate in a way to a group of people that others cannot. What I am sharing here isn’t new, isn’t some brilliant thing by me, but something I learned from other people and implemented for myself.
Just start doing baby steps with what you are interested in and honestly your world will transform! I have seen this with myself and also with my clients. YES it can be as simple as going to a chocolate festival. Just do what you love, do what you like .. if you don’t know how that can impact the world, be a business, don’t worry about that right now, just explore yourself.
Just going to the local farmers market when I lived in Los Angeles County … I got food for free, I learned about new foods like opo and how to use cactus, I learned about different types of avocado, and I got beet greens for free so I learned recipes to use them. I got to understand how to use jalapenos when I do not like hot or spicy food. I learned seasons and how to pick food and recipes accordingly. I learned the difference in spinach types, and growing my own food I learned the value of Sputnick Arugula, I learned that baby spinach and …”grown up” spinach are actually two different types of spinach.
These are things I am interested in and can share with others – what are you interested in and can share with others?
Athena-Are there any restrictions on selling a course or a product in any of the formats you mentioned? In other words-if you do not self host?
Someone told me there were-but can’t remember what they said.
Wen, I’m not really clear on your question.
I don’t know about laws in other countries and if this varies, but you can sell other people’s programs and products. There’s a couple ways to go about this.
With an Affiliate Program, you can sell someone else’s product and services and get a fee when people purchase. I know many coaches who have this, and I will be setting one up for myself – you want to talk me up and send a new client my way, I’m happy to compensate you for that! 🙂
Another way is for instance with Amazon – you can for free set up an affiliate program, and then you can create links in your websites & stuff. One reason my blogs have been slow going out is I’ve been looking up products & services and creating “track back” hyperlinks.
Another way to do this is to connect with someone who believes in you and has a great mail list, and give them a percentage. As I’ve been signing up with various people, coaches, etc. over the years it’s been interesting how suddenly three people will email me about “this cool person with an awesome program” and it’s the same cool person with the same cool program. 🙂
You can have paid book studies using someone else’s book.
The biggest thing is ALWAYS GIVE CREDIT. Don’t take something as your own that was created by someone else.
When it comes to social media, 20-30% “sales pitch” compared to information and also sharing about yourself tends to work pretty well.
I’m not really sure what you mean by self hosting … the only thing that comes to mind for that is web hosting … and really if you go with something like WordPress it’s best to get hosted vs. free because you have far more options and flexibility.
Also I will through out there that there are options like book publishing on demand and Disc On Demand so you don’t have to buy a lot of stock, you can order a book or disc when the purchase is made. Also I have learned that if you do in person workshops or events it’s good to have actual physical items people can purchase right there and then.
I hope that answers your question, if it did not please clarify and I will be happy to try to answer!
The authentic self. That is what I am missing. This would put me more in touch with my list of things I would do (love). “what you love is what you are gifted at” as Barbara Sher so greatly indicates. I do not see myself as a scanner. I do understand things quickly, sometimes that I do not even notice. I’m looking for my variety of authenticity. I do have the stuck part with “what do I do next?” Taking up space is a boring listless feeling. Hope you and others may help.
I have responded in other ways without seeing this, so perhaps I have covered it …. but I would suggest writing down what you enjoy doing and see what commonalities they have.
As Barbara Sher has indicated we are not actually interested in EVERYTHING.
I would also just suggest getting out there and contributing in all the ways you can be useful and see what happens.
I don’t know your interests but I could ask questions of and contribute to vegan eating, low carb eating, gardening, permaculture, just to name a few … Just get out there and start sharing your knowledge and see what happens.
I keep thinking on your post ….
Do that list.
Start doing EVERYTHING that you enjoy.
This is how my life changed. It sounds so simple but is so empowering.
I started with fog festivals, and chocolate festivals, mushroom festivals, garlic festivals, clean sheet days, cat snugglies, chocolate festivals and “talk like a pirate” contests … honestly … it builds in miraculous ways … just go out there and do it.
Don’t worry about your “thing” right now – do your list, and go out and start exploring. Do what you are inspired to do.
Athena, I love your comments: “I started with fog festivals, and chocolate festivals, mushroom festivals, garlic festivals, clean sheet days, cat snugglies, chocolate festivals and “talk like a pirate” contests … honestly … it builds in miraculous ways … just go out there and do it.”
What on earth are fog festivals?? And where do they happen? And talk like a pirate contests – how do you throw them out and who finds them??
🙂 LOL!
Alex, I used to live near San Fransisco where it is foggy, and a small town south of there had a yearly fog festival. Really it was a street fair, but it sounded so much better to call it Fog Fest, right? And have it during that time of the year when it tends to be more foggy, therefore most nearby towns don’t have street fairs? 🙂
Honestly I found these things by going out and doing it. Take San Francisco as an example … I’m off to Pier 39 and there’s banners for the new Disney Family Museum. I have lunch at a nearby restaurant and there’s magazines with local events. I go to the Aquarium and there’s flyers for other places, other events. At Pier 39 there’s flyers for the Talk Like a Pirate Contest at Ripley’s “Believe it or Not”. Then there’s the Crab Festival where it lasts a whole month and events migrate through districts in San Francisco: an Italian spin on it in North Beach, a Chinese take on it in Chinatown.
(BTW, September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.)
In the book The Artist’s Way they talk about having a “play date” with yourself, spent 1-2 hours once a week, doing something fun, just for you, by yourself. So every year I put events on my calendar to do. Some are constant (e.g. zoo, botanical gardens) but can shift for new things I find out about (International Chalk Festival, Talk like a Pirate contest).
As I find things to do I have created a list, and each year I go through them and put new dates on my calendar … when is this year’s Fog Fest? When is Ghiradelli Square doing their chocolate festival? Granted, those are San Fransisco examples and I’m now in Key West, so coming up is the International Food & Wine Festival, the Rangnar Relay, the Stone Crab festival.
And honestly, I usually found out about these AFTER the fact, so I just sucked it up, made a list, and now I have a list of local events month by month.
But the thing is when you go out there, when you start doing it, whatever “IT” is, it just builds on itself.
I went to the Chalk Festival and gained a client. I went to the Eco-Fest and did the 5k, had a conversation with a lady, and inspired her with my story to increase her physical activity. She has booths at most local events so periodically I have a chance to check in with her.
When I go out I’m always wearing my Vibram Five Finger Shoes and if it’s hot, a red floppy hat – people recognize me by my shoes &/or my hat, and stop to talk to me.
In terms of finding things – you can use newspapers, every city or town has papers with events. Or you can find the newspapers’ websites. I find it’s usually a conglomeration … not all newspapers or websites list all events. Sometimes I find out about events from talking to artists I see at different festivals, or getting on their mail lists. Also the various cities’ Chamber of Commerce websites may have activities listed the newspapers do not. But over time, if you make a list, you will add to it and find new things. (If you put it in Excel you can Filter by Month, if you create a column for month.)
Did you know you can sleep with the sharks in the San Francisco aquarium? Or watch the animals enjoy their pumpkins every Halloween at the zoo? I also like off beat things – did you know there’s a Barbie Museum in San Jose, California? Or a Banana Museum in Los Angeles? Or a Concrete Museum in Marin County, California? Or a Gin Mill Museum in East Texas?
Just writing of these things literally thrill me to my core, I’m getting fun vibrations in my body!
The thing is just find things you like to do and DO them. Doesn’t matter what they are. Just go out there and start expressing and playing with your authentic self.
Oh and coming up in March is the Annual Conch Blowing Contest … 🙂
LOL!!
I’m going back though my emails – the thing is if you want to get unstuck you have to get started doing something on the “I like this” vs “I don’t like that” end of the spectrum. It can be anything – model airplanes, singing in the shower, cooking, researching string theory, making balloon animals.
The other thing I was thinking earlier was about Barbara’s Refuse to Choose book. There is an exercise in there to find what your “payment” is, your juice.
For instance I have learned a lot of things out of necessity … e.g. to work my way up from a file clerk to a business analyst I needed a variety of computer skills. Some “juice” for me in that was more money, more autonomy. But the REAL juice in that was to help my coworkers. Whether that was teaching them to use Filters in Excel or how to to Tables in Word, up to more complex things, seeing that Ah-Ha! light up their faces is very juicy for me. Every office job I was ever on I was helping problem solve for my co-workers, making their lives and their jobs easier and more fun.
I really like helping people. I really like putting my knowledge and skills and hard-earned experience into play to simplify things for other people. I really like sharing that so that they don’t have to spend all the frustrating time I did in figuring it out.
Get Barbara’s Refuse To Choose book and read it, and do the exercises. If Barbara does another RTC book study then sign up for it.
Even if you don’t think you are a Scanner, there are exercises in there that can help you.
Eric,
“Athena, I do need the support. I am stuck on what I like to do (the essence part is important) I see that with many: Barbara Sher as a great example.
This is the area (purpose, mission) that fills the heart and won’t let go. I have gotten bored with the things I did like for that above reason.”
Many things come to mind with that – is it that you really do not know what you like to do? Or you don’t know if you have a one thing you can focus on as a business / reason / purpose / mission statement? Is it that you feel you have to exclusively settle on one tiny little pocket of your interests?
When I didn’t know what I enjoyed doing (my family refused to allow me to engage in it so long I got totally disconnected), I used Barbara’s idea of making a list of everything I do and mark it from 1 to 10, with 1 being, paraphrased, I totally hate this, to 10 I’d do this all day whether I got paid or not! She recommended only doing 8 and above.
I have found that to work really well! Even though it seemed inconsequential – maybe it’s a lazy Sunday lounging in my fur-free freshly washed clean sheets, or going to a chocolate festival – those things led to more things and more things that over not that long of a time changed my life.
I’ve listed these in other places, but some of my 8+ are: snuggling with my cat, days I don’t have to wake to an alarm, warm socks right out of the dryer. When I lived on boats, hearing the waves lap against the hull, or the fish feeding off the growth on the hull. Scratching a manatee. Standing looking at the cobalt blue water and seeing I live on a tropical island full of palm trees and blue bountiful waters. Feeding the chickens in my yard. Hanging out with the peacocks next door. Growing a garden, the love, attention, care of that, the planning, the caretaking, the deliciousness of eating from it. Experimenting with new foods, new recipes. I could go on.
If it’s you don’t have your “one thing”, well that’s the problem with us Scanners! That held me up for many, many years. The idea of having just one place that was my niche, my focus, my business, that made me nuts. I felt like I would die a slow death if I committed to just one narrow thing. I need variety.
As I’ve been growing my business I’ve learned there are a few different blog types, but fundamentally there’s the expert – they’re known for a single thing, the type that interviews other people, the type that shares other people’s information … the glorious thing I learned about is the Lifestyle Blog, where you get to just be yourself and write about whatever. That was a totally transformative concept for me.
After I learned that, I decided to wholly, unabashedly, be myself, and just do what inspired me. And with being able to put categories on blogs, people can find anything they’re most interested in and I can continue to write about what interests me. Also with other programs and methodologies you can create mail lists for people interested in various things … I’m working on an Elder Cat Care Book at the same time I’m starting a 90 Day Launch Your Business program at the same time I’m blogging about fun activities around my area.
What I discovered is when you put yourself authentically out there, and are real, it WORKS. People feel your authenticity.
Also, as I have mentioned elsewhere, I have been trying to figure out my “thing” for some years now, but as I’ve just been going out there being myself, I’m getting very interesting responses and requests – and I’m following up on those. People are actually contacting me out of the blue to ask to hire me for things! That I did not anticipate, like this grow your business thing.
About being bored – yes that does happen. The cool thing is with autoresponders (I use aweber) and easy to use “landing pages” (I use LeadPages), you can just “set it and forget it”. Yeah, you need to tweak your words to get something compelling, but once you get it down, you can just periodically throw stuff out there (Hootsuite can also be useful for that!) and people can do whole 90 day or year long programs while you’re barely involved at all and off doing something else,
Also many people decide to regroup and change directions in their life and careers after a while, I have seen that time and again over the last 15 years – whatever you decide today you do not have to commit to for life.
The other thing has to do with “essence” – what are the characteristics of what you are thinking of? For me it all comes down to grounding, personal empowerment, and divine self expression.
I’m interested in nature, parks, wildlife, gardening, food as medicine, recipes, cooking, spiritual studies, business studies, developing my spiritual life, developing my business life, developing my personal life, my cats, a healthy life for me, for them, going out and having fun, exploring what this world has to offer, exercise, fitness.
I could go on about all the details of all the things I enjoy, want, plan – but it all comes back to grounding, personal empowerment, and divine self expression. Maybe make a list of what things you like and see what commonalities they have?
I hope I did not overwhelm you.
And I hope that helps. -)
What is an aweber autoresponder?
I worry there isnothing I am “crazy” to do. There are things I’dl ike to do, but nothing anymore that I am dying! to do. Things I’d like to try. Maybe, I have learned to detach somewhat because things usually flop somehow for me or because I am a bit lazy and just want to get through the day not hurting to badly and not being exhausted. I’m working on a new food plan and hope it helps. I need to read that Willpower book, too, to see if mine is broken somehow.
The aWeber autoresponder is a way to automatically send emails to people. So for instance, I am writing a blog about chronic pain. I am also writing a blog about cat care. I can differentiate people who are interested in chronic pain from the people interested in cats in aWeber, and I can send different information to each.
Right now I’m developing a 90 Day Step by Step Launch your Business program, and with aWeber I can set it so that each week it sends out the new assignment.
Once I get this whole “launch my business” thing down, I don’t want to keep talking about it, I want to move on to the next thing … but I can keep SHARING the information … I can use automated tools to help me get the word out about materials I already have written up without having to be actively involved on a regular basis.
David, I would really like to hear more about what’s going on … I’ve talked with people who have no passion because they haven’t seen dreams come true and they’re afraid to try. I’ve also been in a position to fear to dream because due to massive pain I could not act on them. I’ve also spent many years being “different” so I thought I was wrong or bad somehow. And living in the Florida Keys it’s as if I’m from another planet. 🙂 No one understands me here.
But that’s OK, I’ve learned to accept myself, but a lot of that came from the support of this environment. WE WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND SUCCEED.
So share your story, share yourself, and let us help inspire you!
Believe me – I spent literally 2 years not sleeping due to massive pain. I spent about 8 years in bed, 2 years in a wheelchair, still I often use my cane. I have had days I could not bathe or eat. Showering twice a week was a massive task. But I PROMISE YOU, you CAN do something to start shifting into inspired, powerful, massive gear and direction.
Here are some things I started with:
I had a fluffy garden so I would spend maybe 10 minutes outside pulling weeds.
I would go to the local farmers’ market and find a new-to-me food, write it down, look up recipes, and put it on next weeks’ shopping list.
I was home with time – I could do online research, find things, for people who were too busy or at work and could not look things up.
I could experiment with food, gardening techniques.
I watched SO MUCH TV jeez I could write TV reviews … and I noticed color patterns … crime dramas tend to be more dark, blue and black, love stories tend to be more white, red, and bright.
But the biggest thing I keep saying is make your list of things you do, do the things you enjoy most, and just go out there and DO them. It sounds so simple but it really is transformative.
And I DO understand if you are not physically able to actually go out there and do things, I have been there, but share with us and we can help you problem solve.
Even if you don’t know your passion right now, just start doing SOMETHING that is on the more fun side than the less fun side … do you like watching sailboat races? Playing the guitar? Going to live concerts? Tasting different beer? Trying new recipes? Working on cars? There has to be *something* that is on the “more fun” side of things.
My family rejected who I am – it took me years of hard work to find myself again. I started, honestly, with going to fog festivals and finding new recipes for zucchini. Oh and wearing clean warm socks right out of the dryer! 🙂
That seems unrelated to anything, but by just starting with those “silly” baby steps really I changed my life. I have met amazing people, I have had my own booths at events, I have expanded my eating beyond zucchini to things I never thought I would eat, things I never thought I would eat raw, and things I never heard of before. And I’m sharing what I learned with other people. That is helping them.
Just go out there and do anything that sounds remotely “fun”, happy, joyful, interesting, something that attracts your attention. I PROMISE YOU doing small steps like this will reconnect you with your passion, with your fuel, and will help you discover what unique gifts and talents you have to share with others, and what will launch you out of bed in the morning.
Athena – That is the exact right advice to overcome any problem!
I used it myself to heal from cancer. And I use it now to help other cancer patients heal. All that joy has an amazing ability to boost the immune system.
But-you are right. Many won’t event try.
I always ask this first: The fairy godmother is coming in 5 minutes and she won’t be back.
She will grant any wish-what you have always wanted to do. What is it? Many people can’t answer that -or won’t try. I then ask them what they loved to do when they were children? It could be playing in the mud -or playing cowboys. I then ask what part of that they liked. One patient said that she loved horses.Then-put that into your day for 15 minutes to start. Then the Resistance comes. I can’t-too sick. Ok -find a horse to pet everyday. I can’t. Ok-go buy books on horses and read them daily.
Once they start-they want to do it all the time. But the problem is in the Starting-as Patty says.
Love your info on aWeber. That is perfect for scanners.
I will have more questions about that soon. You have given me some new ideas. Thanks!
Yes, Wen, that’s right!
And even if you can’t have a horse, or pet a horse, or get a book about horses, IMAGINE petting a horse, being on a horse.
Imagination is an amazing thing – the brain cannot differentiate between fiction and reality, it’s all real. So imagining petting a horse, feeling the fur, the lean, strong muscles, the wuffing, the breath on your hands, the head butting, can be as real as if you’re actually doing it.
And that’s one thing I’ve learned about chronic pain – I have a lot of time to lie still and imagine things. The more you do it, the better you get at it!
Tip: involve all senses: sight, smell, sound, touch. Yep, even imagine the horse manure smell. 🙂
I am adding things to my schedule. I go shopping tomorrow with a person who is helping me cook. I just joined Open2Study.com and am taking a web writing course. The website was recommended on here in connection with a recent post I received. I have taken a few things with Coursera.org but had some trouble with posting to forums.
I am very impressed you got through that much physical pain. May I inquire how you did it. Just knowing I will hurt after I am up for a time makes me dread getting up, hesitating to get up. I have to be careful about buying clothes, too tight and I hurt. I am never quite sure until I have worn the clothes a time and then I want another one in that style and they are out or the item is not made now — i.e. Silver Tab Levis. Drats! Shoes, too. Everything seems to connect to the pain issues.
I try not to think about it; that helps a bit and then it comes back. I feel like if I can’t meditate my pain away or positive think it away, I am a failure. It’s like a person with cancer being blamed for not curing himself/herself by using certain New Age strategies. You have not been cured because you haven’t tried hard enough or didn’t want it enough. Or you did not follow the rigid diet that you should have followed, think macrobiotic, or gluten-free or vegan. I worry I might be viewed as wanting to stay sick. I’m not sure why anyone would though.
What is a fluffy garden?
I do hope you are feeling better nowadays.
Was it a change in diet that helped you feel better — acupuncture, yoga, meditation?
I have more I can say later, but fundamentally I am in constant pain daily.
I am in less pain now than years ago – 2001 my life changed and the required doctors treatment made me far worse.
I am using the tools I learned years ago, and are ever so much easier now, to automate useful sharing. Honestly, I don’t want to leave my house, put on shoes, go to the grocery store. Honestly I don’t even want to SPEAK as it is so painful.
Much of my story I am sharing as best as I can due to pain issues bit by bit on my website http://www.thejoyfulshaman.com
I also know the new age thinking- I created this, I can wish it away, if I haven’t wished it away hard enough then bad me.
I prefer the concept of glancing attention, of play time. So .. so much time on the computer and I hurt and have to lie down .. well, awesome, that’s game time!! Let’s set up the game to “ping” when it’s time to rest. Let’s put on Netflix and watch a fave show and play a fave game and lie down and snuggle with cats and take a break!!
I mean AWESOME, right? Can’t lie down at jobs, can’t snuggle with furbabies, right?
I won’t lie, I’m not all peaches and cream about this. Some days are super hard. Some days I can’t get out of bed.
But I’m doing my best to use what I learned and create and sustain an income for myself.
By fluffy garden I mean that I had a square foot garden mapped out with pathways … the paths got trodden and hard, the planting areas weren’t stepped on and therefore over time were loose, fluffy.
Picking weeds from fluffy areas was super easy.
Pulling weeds from grass areas, walking places, was / is hard. I do not do that.
I have a lot I could share about this, but this honestly is one reason I am focusing on turning my passions into income generators.
I’m in so much pain today I could cry.
But I’m able to take the day off work, I’m barefoot (in clean fluffy socks!) and wearing just an oversized t-shirt. I cannot wear normal shoes, I cannot wear the expected normal clothes. I am in too much pain for that.
I worked my way into 30 hours work up to 12 hour days and it was horrible. It was a place I *could* be after my injury so in that sense it was glorious, but in the other sense, who wants to live in so much pain and misery like that? Working at home I can be in far less pain.
It’s a combination of things that got me better – my pain is higher now today because yesterday I had to drive 30 miles away and run errands.
In terms of getting better there are exercises I can do (a combination of various stretching and yoga poses) but my home is so tiny I do not have space to do most of them. But with the new year I am learning new things and I am putting my “therapeutic exercises” as a priority.
Honestly what I find best is: not carrying excess weight, eating as much raw food as I can, doing Network Chiropractic (with a good practitioner!), having massage regularly helps. Honestly I periodically need foot massage to help transition up my back pain. But I also have a few exercises I do from various books.
One concept I love is to redefine exercise as anything challenging to you. I got that from the Freedom From Back Pain book and I WISH I could give you the author but the book was stolen, and it’s out of print.
At the time I got the book years ago I was still trying to get that 30 minutes cardio … but it was so decimating. Instead, I turned it to my personal challenges. At the time I could barely manage showering every 4 days. So my goal was to shower 3 times a week. I had difficulty getting out of bed and feeding myself, so on alternate days I set a goal to make a sandwich.
In doing that I increased my physical activity and my strength. And through that I got myself up to biking and working regular jobs.
It still drives me nuts … I see friends running races, marathons, I want to do that. I can’t do that. Not yet.
BUT at the time I could not shower regularly I could barely manage 60 minutes on the computer over time in a 24 hour period. Now I am up to 6 hours. I need breaks, but 6 hours is better than 1! And I can sit through things longer than 5 – 7 minutes.
Meditation helps as well, I very much try to apply Echart Tolley’s concept of “I chose this so now what”. So … I chose this so how can I leverage this to my benefit? To the benefit of others?
I had the attention span of just 5 minutes at one point – an entire 11m30s Rugrats episode would leave me lost and confused. So I created databases and systems to help me remember, stay on track. I can offer those to others.
I have no desire to re-enter the workforce and deal with times, shoes, tight clothes, talking. So I am building a business where I can be at home in my oversized t-shirt and socks, and work, or lie down, whenever. I can help other people do that too.
I mean, even if you’re fully functional, wouldn’t it be fun to reduce your worktime from 40+ hours to 20, and spend the rest of your time playing, having fun with family, friends?
Athena,
WOW, I just read this article about the aWeber autoresponder and your response to David about doing things that are fun to get back to your unique self. The WOW is from what you are doing. You are a Hangout protégé.
I feel it is wrong to not use your gifts to give to the world (why I feel dissatisfied)
FL GA TX all have a pull of some sort. Live in the future maybe?
Eric I feel like in a way I know you so well – I spent years in a neutral void, wanting to be of purpose, of service, but not knowing what to do or feeling like what I wanted to do was so silly, so small, so stupid even, that it hardly seemed worth bothering with.
But it IS worth bothering with.
And I like what Barbara has shared … I am an artist, but after the age of 4 I was not allowed to do art until I went to college where I was ridiculed for being so juvenile in my talent. I have other similar issues that are more personal and cut more deeply that I will not share here.
I have a lot of anger around these things, a lot of resentment. And I can take that circle of resentment and expand it outside my unsupported and ridiculed passions into things like dealing with this chronic pain thing.
But as others have suggested, as I have suggested, you have to acknowledge that, see that, have a conversation with yourself about that, be that in your head or with pen and paper and sort it all out and make a choice NOW, TODAY, to do something different.
If you need to rage about it do so. If you need to shout and scream and hit a pillow with a bat then do so.
I know a woman who loves cleaning peoples dirty homes. I know a man who loves being a garbage pick up person. I know a man who loves cleaning dirty public toilets.
I cannot comprehend that because I do not enjoy any of those things but I feel ever so blessed that THEY DO.
Even if it’ts silly little things to start, just to anything that you feel inspired to do, or is in the least way of any kind of interest to you.
Life is like a gigantic puzzle – we each have our own unique shape that perfectly fits somewhere.
Athena,
“Even if it’ts silly little things to start, just to anything that you feel inspired to do, or is in the least way of any kind of interest to you.”
This is similar to ” if money were no object, what would you do?”
The answers come from the authentic true you (heart, soul)
I am doing things, no spark… do not like that (feels zombie like)
Some (a lot of my clairprescience has gone) That is my unique self: Ex. doing jigsaw puzzles quickly – that goes there, this goes there etc,
I was in charge of filing where I knew where 600+ files were located in the file room within 2 months,
knew Google hit gold when it first appeared in late 1990’s and would change the internet, saw the IPod was going to dominate and MS zune would flop.
If you have TRULY for 90 days, every day, done EVERYTHING that everyone has suggested here then consider going to a doctor for help with managing your brain chemicals.
There is no harm in that … if you had heart, or kidney, or pancreas issues you would seek remedies … if your brain has issues then seek remedies.
Honestly … as humans we are all biologic chemical experiments … if you are off, there’s no demeaning in seeking external things to balance yourself …
aka if you are depressed seek medication, there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe that’s exactly what you need to balance your brain out …
Alternatively:
No drugs/alcohol
Eat walnuts
Eat oatmeal
Add Celtic Sea Salt to every meal
Drink 8 oz San Pelligrino water 2-3 times a day
Eat omegas every day … be that plant or veg based, there are many, Omega 3, 6, 9