Hanging Out Registration Re-Opens in October 2024
Hanging Out will be the jewel in the crown of Barbara’s Club. To be honest, I think it’s going to be the jewel in the crown of my lifetime’s work. That’s what it feels like. —Barbara Sher, 2012
Barbara called this members-only program Hanging Out, because she wanted it to be like those wonderful moments just hanging out together at her retreats and weekend workshops. Patty Newbold will be your guide now that Barbara is no longer with us.
Registration Re-Opens October 3, 2024
$197 for a full year
Barbara put together her most beloved ideas and stories and wrote her best stuff ever for Hanging Out. This was bigger than writing another book. It was a huge job, but every minute was a labor of love for her. And with this program she gives you videos from her retreats and workshops, loads of audio, new interactive stuff and other amazing things we can’t describe here or we’ll go on forever. All this in addition to the exercises that made a big difference to you in the past.
After almost a year HO is still my favourite thing on the internet and in my inbox. So many things I could just read over and over and find something each time. The world didn’t change but I’m different in it. -JD
I’m excited about this exercise. I’ve printed it out to work on over the weekend. Barbara, I look forward to working it through and circling back. You’re a gemstone! -A Hanging Out member in Week 38
Once you’re a member, the rest will be easy. Every week, three times a week, via email, I’ll send you some very special things to read, watch and do. They’re not what you expect, I’m pretty sure of that. As much as you may like my books, what you’re going to find in Hanging Out is very new and very different. You’ll want to make comments, compare notes and talk to the other members of Hanging Out, and that’s exactly what happens here. It changes the whole experience into something entirely new, something most of us are missing and need as much as vitamins and sunshine. The effect on most members has been profound.
Registration Re-Opens October 3, 2024
$197 for a full year
You can’t get Hanging Out all at once like a book that ends up on that pile of books you plan to read, and you can’t stick it back on your bookshelf and forget what your life is supposed to be. Barbara learned too much about what’s important for us humans to take that kind of chance.
You’ll receive emails from her every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a year, announcing the day’s video, audio message, Identity Exercise, Reality Series success story or Brain Candy she prepared for you. Barbara’s Director of Sher Success Teams and WriteSpeak Coach, Patty Newbold, will be reading and responding to your online comments. You’ll also be able to read Barbara’s replies to comments from our first eight years of Hanging Out.
Hanging out has really developed clarity in my life. One thing that I love about you Barbara is that you never tell anyone to just try harder and you don’t shame in any way. You support and encourage which is so very rare. You make sense of the non-sense. This group has provided something wonderful for me. Even the subtle messages are always very powerful. —Michelle
So what is it?
It’s easier to say what it’s not. Hanging Out is not a how-to course or a motivation program. I sometimes think it’s designed for people who have worked too hard and forgot what it’s like to wake up in a goal-free world full of fresh, stimulating ideas, fun and camaraderie.
I’ll always have courses for you on Barbara’s Club so you can find your dreams and achieve your goals, but Hanging Out is not about goal achievement. Instead, it’s more like what one member called “a profound and delicious form of Identity Rehab.”
I absolutely love the idea of Barbara’s Club being integrated into the everyday world—nothing to leave behind—and a consistent source of inspiration. Thank you! —Victoria, by email
If you join us here, Barbara’s emails and online messages will be popping into your life briefly, happily and relentlessly, over and over, waking up your senses, making you laugh and go exploring and, most important of all, helping you remember who you are and how good life is supposed to be.
You’ll receive emails from Barbara every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a year, announcing the day’s video, audio message, Identity Exercise, Reality Series success story or Brain Candy she prepared for you. Barbara’s Director of Sher Success Teams and WriteSpeak Coach, Patty Newbold, will be reading and responding to your online comments. You’ll also be able to read Barbara’s replies to comments from our first eight years of Hanging Out, before she passed away.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for creating Hanging Out with Barbara. There have been so many “favorite” posts. One that stands out is your description of how you decorated your apartment with all the glorious references to color. I wanted to sink into one of your armchairs and absorb it all. Finding our originality. Yes. Discovering ways to express it. Yes. Realizing that time is short and excuses long. Yes. Boxing up all our should, would and could and relaxing into today, into now, into this moment. Yes. Finding that joy is the reward for allowing oneself to just be who you are. Yes. So many wonderful lessons I have learned, relearned, and unlearned this year…What I have learned this year has changed my life. For that I am eternally grateful. – A Hanging Out Member at the end of the year
No risk – full refund if you cancel your subscription within the first 30 days
$197 for a full year
OR pay by the month – $24 per month
Contact webmaster@barbarasclub.com if you encountered any problems with payment or if you didn’t receive a “Thank You! And Welcome to Hanging Out” email within an hour after paying.
Registration Re-Opens on October 3, 2024
Purchase a gift certificate
$197 for a full year membership gift certificate
Gift certificate mailed within 48 hours. Contact webmaster@barbarasclub.com if you do not receive yours.
How come I have to wait until March to join the club??
Respectfully, Janie
Because you would be receiving each of Barbara’s messages a week or more after the others do, for the entire year, and the discussions take place on the message pages. We found that people who did not receive them at the same time as others enjoyed the program a lot less than those who were part of a large group.
Welcome all!
Glad to see you here! We’ve got a few bugs to iron out but we’ll be up and running beautifully very soon! And I’ll be answering very soon as well.
Glad you’re here. Hanging Out is a program unlike any of my others, or any of my books. It’s what I call a ‘goal-free zone.’ Everything slows down here and you won’t get anything time-consuming to do. If you’ve got a need for fast action, please don’t send messages here, just write me or Patty right away and we’ll get you into the right place!!
I’m heading for a plane, well, more than one, so I might not be here for a day or two but you’ll be seeing me soon. I love to read your comments!
Any idea when the site will be available to access?
thank you!
It is available now. I have sent you an email about it. Anyone else having trouble logging in should write to webmaster@barbarasclub.com for assistance.
Hi again HO, and again thanks for this group!
Thanks Barbara and Patty for the suggestions to protect myself from taking the criticism personally, and for the suggestions on what to plan to do when I’ve reached my goal.
While I’m planning on the ideas that I’ll collect stories from my vengeful coworkers for my memoir (and to plan to segue to a new situation in just 365 short working days and I have all the non-working days off ), currently I’m trying to counter a low score on my PA, to try to make sure I make it.
For the 2013-2014 reporting period, we were asked to create independent SMART goals on areas to work on to be judged on for our annual PA — along with the standard PA areas. While I was focusing on improving my Project Management and Business Systems Analysis tools and techniques – like BPMN and UML flowcharts”, my supervisor gave me D’s in the other areas (relationships with coworkers) — for not receiving ALL positive feedback from all my colleagues. She said there should be “no criticism.” That is absurd, and how do I fix that?
You can’t please everyone all the time, and you can’t make everyone like you. All I can do is my best and strive for excellence, which I always do. I’m thinking of including a good quote, such as this, regarding that: “You can’t please everyone, but I’ve always felt you cannot ultimately lose if you give everything you try 110%. You’ll always learn something useful, even from a failure, that can be applied to the next challenge or project.” – Mark Ryan http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/please_everyone.html#UJrFqFB2LZgkjhWe.99
Karin
Hi Karin,
I remember you mentioned having a higher-up rate you, instead of just your immediate supervisor. Has that worked and/or will that be happening? Also, do any of the standard goals have anything in their wording that gives you some space, such as wording like: “generally gets along with co-workers”? Some of those non-SMART objectives are easier to hang people on, since they aren’t specific. Going on the offensive will likely get the hackles up, but I’m sure those goals do not state “always gets along with all colleagues”, which puts the burden of proof on her to explain why she interprets it that way. Also, is she using the same standards for your colleagues? Probably not, but that might give you a place were you can make some inroads, especially if someone else is going to look at your ratings. Also, is this the first you are hearing of it? Since it sounds like this is the end of your performance period, it should not be, so that may give you another angle from which to approach it. And, has the objective changed from last year and are you doing worse than last year? If you performed the same last year and the standard has not changed, she needs to explain why your rating is different than last year. One suggestion made to me was to have people put their reasoning on paper (via e-mail frequently works), so you have it documented when you talk to higher ups about it. And it then usually looks completely unreasonable even to the person trying to enforce it. I’m sure others will have better ideas. Hang in there!
Karin,
My boss just told me that I have the BEST rapport with the students of any teacher she has ever seen, but she could only give me an average rating this year on this lesson because I did not specifically statensomething I knew about a student during the lesson. Like I should have stated, “Rosie, how was your horse? ” in the middle of the lesson. She also said that every single student was engaged during the lesson,
but she could only give me an average because the students did not get choices during the lesson. I am not the best teacher, but I know I am rally treat at rapport and engagement ………sigh
Hi Barbara
Really looking forward to ‘Hanging Out’ with you for the next year. Timing couldn’t be better (although in some ways its a little preemptive – more on that later). I’m going thru a fairly big ‘life transition’ and have been looking for ways to break through to a more positive, more fulfilling life. I’ve been reading your books and participating in the odd webinar etc (and have various notebooks filled in from book exercises).
As I said timing couldn’t be better but a tad early in some ways. I’ve been dealing with my mothers deteriorating ill health (and subsequent move to a Care Home (her: v reluctantly (‘wheres my independence gone” she regularly angrily says)). Also having to sell her home to pay hugely expensive fees – crossing lots of fingers that it could be wrapped up by Xmas. This all takes a lot of my time and energy but the only positive thing that has happened to me over the last 6 months is that I’ve given up booze (totally). And am feeling loads better as a consequence. Sorry – is this the type of ‘intro post’ I need to put up or will it all ‘come out in the wash’ (lots of cliches there!)
So – signed up to HO because NOW its time to do it for me…..
I’m so sorry that I didn’t see this until today, Alex. Karla is going through the same thing. I’ll get back to you in a moment when I figure out how public any of the comments here in the public hangingout comment page, and whether it’s possible to move them to a more private place.
Hi there!
I am signed up and really, really hoping this forum will help me with tools to reinvent what I do for a living and for my life which I seriously need to update/change.
In the past year or so, I worked through “what color is your parachute” by Dick Bolles (very difficult book to follow but did the exercises) I think Barbara’s books have helped me much, much more so than Bolles. I am presently going through “Refuse to choose” have read “If I only knew what I want to do” and “WishCraft”.
I am really hoping this forum will help bring all the information home where I can start making some good choices to act in a new direction as I have been basically in the same position, doing the same job in sales (working from home over the phone) for over ten years at the same company. I really need to something different as my brain is/has gotten pretty fried from the the work and there is not another position in the company that I want to do.
Working from home has it’s perks but is very isolating and I really dislike sitting on my butt for nine hours a day chained to a phone. I would love to have a combination of working from home and interacting with people outside of the house but in something different than what I do with the company I am employed with.
Will this forum be giving ideas, ways, support to develop and implement ? What will some of those tools be? Can you give me some examples that may relate to what I would like to get out of the forum? Hopefully I gave you enough information on what I am interested in.
Thank you very much for your time and help,
Debbie
Tried to sign up the same way I signed up for Refuse to Choose. I signed up for Refuse by using a Visa gift card. It worked. So-went out to buy a gift card in order to sign up for Hanging Out-but it looks like your website won’t accept it-for monthly payments-$29.
How can I pay? Do you accept money orders? I don’t want to sign up for paypal now-will need to sign up later -for a project I am organizing -and I don’t want to commit to my present address. I hear there are problems in setup and changing the address.
If money orders are ok-what address do I use?
Thanks. Love Refuse to Choose and am looking forward to joining members of that group in the Hanging Out group. And-I want ongoing contact to follow through on all those great flowchart ideas that I am developing in the group.
Just don’t have the money to pay all at once.
Thanks again.
Wen Daniels
PayPal is tied to email addresses, Wen. I have two PayPal accounts with two different email addresses (for my two businesses) and one physical address. You’ll be able to set up another when you get your new address. We don’t have enough staff to keep track of monthly payments by money order.
You can also sign up with PayPal Credit. It’s a sweet offer — no particular payment plan and no interest as long as you pay it off in six months. $29 a month comes to a lot more than $226 in 6 months, but we have to charge that much because of the work involved in processing monthly payments.
Patty-Oh-got it! If I can get 2 accounts-that would be ok. I will try sign up today.
Looking forward to meeting the group.
If I sign up on the monthly payment method, will I be required to continue paying for the whole year even if I decide to stop participating before then? I’m not sure if ‘Hanging Out’ is the right thing for me but I’m interested and would appreciate getting to try joining in for a while. I know there’s a 30-day money-back period, but what happens if I want to stop after three months, for example? Can I just stop the monthly payments at that point?
Yes. If you cancel by December 16th, you’ll get a 100% refund and lose your access to Hanging Out. If you cancel later, we’ll end your subscription at the end of the last 30-day period you’ve paid for, and you will still be able to re-visit those sections and discuss them with other members. PayPal will collect payments every 30 days, starting on the day you sign up.
Barbara and admins, have you considered connecting to a message board? It would make topics so much easier to navigate. I used to use Website Toolbox for my forums (I had an online art class site). It’s inexpensive and people can get private log ins. Just a thought.
Thanks, Lisa. We did consider it, and Barbara has had the Sher Boards for years. I think once you get started in Hanging Out, you’ll see why we chose this structure. We don’t actually host the Hanging Out discussions on this page.
Patty, where are the discussions hosted? Or are they not yet in progress? I’m just wondering if I’m missing anything, lol. I do find this format a little hard to figure out – is this where all the conversation happens, just in this big long list? Or is there somewhere else that things are organised into topics? I used to participate in the Barbara Sher boards but it seems like all the people commenting are doing it here – yet this is much harder for me to follow. Would love some advice on how people keep up with what’s going on – do you read everything on this page, or select individual comments to subscribe to and then keep up with them as the emails come in? Thanks for any thoughts. 🙂
Im with Riss, Patty please advise as to where to see the discussion? It does not seem very clear.
My first time here too, is there an introduction which lays out where to find everything? Maybe I missed something?
Thank you for your assistance!
appreciate you.
The Hanging Out scene is private, (we comment below Barbara’s posts as they show up a few times a week.) It’s the privacy of membership that makes Hanging Out different from the Sher forums, which are public and at: http://boards.barbarasher.com/
I guess Hanging Out could start a section over there for us to comment in public, couldn’t we? (I’m An8el over there…)
Riss — and all other new Hanging Out members — you should be receiving emails now from Barbara every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. These include links to her messages here. We discuss each message separately, on a page very much like this one.
If the page where this comment appears does not welcome you as a member and show you a list of links to the messages (which would be just one today, two tomorrow, three this Friday), you are not logged in yet. Use the login form in the right-hand column. Then come discuss the first message from Barbara.
I live in Munich, Germany.
Did I get it right that in the Hanging around with Barbara Sher I get emails from you and it does not mean to be online on special times like in a webinar?
Thank you! Franziska
That’s right. You write whenever you like. And I answer whenever I can, like right now. I think they call it ‘asynchronous.’ (I know they call it that, but I’m not sure how they spell it!) 🙂
I really want to do this, but my concern is that I will not have enough time to devote to it. Is there any sort of estimate on how much time per day or week I will need to devote? Thank you!!
Jessica, Hanging Out brings you three emails a week. Each email links to a new online message from Barbara that will take you 3 to 10 minutes (occasionally maybe a bit longer, but not often) to read, watch, or listen. You will probably find yourself thinking about many of them for hours or days after, but this is certainly not required. Neither is reading and replying to the comments, although you may find yourself drawn into this, because Barbara is part of the conversation. And there are links in some of them to websites you could get absorbed in for days, but you can bookmark them for a day off from work or parenting if they interest you.
All the messages remain available to you online if you don’t have time to get to them right away, too. It’s nice to read them every other day, but sometimes you just have to save them all up and find a day to catch up later.
Don’t let lack of time keep you from experiencing Hanging Out. It’s really different from reading one of Barbara’s books or doing the 8 week Success Team workshop, but at least as valuable.