Hi! Tammy here. So glad you have joined us. Our book clubs, including the 2018 through 2023 Refuse to Choose! book clubs I led, have been so wonderful, and I am glad to join you for the 2024 club. Great people, great insights, plenty of sharing and encouragement. I am really looking forward to reading Refuse to Choose! with you. We will do the exercises in the first part of the book, then try out the Life Design Models, Scanner Careers and Scanner Tools in the second part to find the best ones for each of us.
Also in the second part, we have a real treat: some brand new exercises and a quiz created by Barbara just for our book club!
Refuse to Choose! is all about doing everything that you love, and that is just what I have been doing with my life. I was so excited when Barbara wrote this guide to the Scanner life and let us see we are not all alike, and we need our own custom-tailored approaches to enjoying life as a Scanner. I used ideas in this book to raise the extra money I needed to join Barbara for her first-ever Scanner Retreat in Corfu, Greece.
The book: You will need a copy of Refuse to Choose! for all 16 weeks. If you don’t already have one, try Abe Books, Powell Books, Amazon, or Barnes & Noble. Any version, hard cover, paperback, Kindle, Nook, new or used or borrowed, is fine.
Our agenda: Each of our 16 weeks will begin on a Thursday with an announcement posted online, giving the week’s reading assignment and exercises. We begin on July 25 and end on November 13. The comments and your ability to reply to them will remain available for a full year, through July 24, 2025.
| Week Beginning | Section |
|---|---|
| July 25, 2024 | Are You a Scanner?, Prologue, Chapter 1 |
| Aug 1, 2024 | Chapter 2 |
| Aug 8, 2024 | Chapter 3 |
| Aug 15, 2024 | Chapters 4 and 5 |
| Aug 22, 2024 | Chapters 6 and 7 |
| Aug 29, 2024 | Chapter 8 |
| September 5, 2024 | What Kind of Scanner are You?, Chapters 9 and 10 |
| September 12, 2024 | Chapter 11 |
| September 19, 2024 | Chapter 12 |
| September 26, 2024 | Chapters 13 and 14 |
| October 3, 2024 | Chapter 15 |
| October 10, 2024 | Chapter 16 |
| October 17, 2024 | Chapter 17 |
| October 24, 2024 | Chapter 18 |
| October 31, 2024 | Chapter 19 |
| November 7, 2024 | Epilogue, Appendix, and Pulling It All Together |
The weekly announcement emails: The online announcements on each of the pages linked above are also sent to you by email if you clicked the confirmation link in the email sent within an hour after you signed up. If you opt out of the weekly announcements, be sure you bookmark this page. If you would like to start receiving emails, let me know at webmaster@barbarasclub.com.
To change the email address at which you receive these emails, use the link at the bottom of any of the emails.
Each week: You will check the assignment, read the pages, and do the exercises on your own. As you finish each exercise, come share with us a little about your experience with the exercise. Read what others had to say about their experiences and offer encouragement, answer their questions, share what you know that might help them. After you finish each chapter and the exercises in it, share a little with us about what you learned from the chapter.
Because we will all be online at different times, it is important that you make an effort to read and reply to some of your fellow book club members’ comments by Wednesday evening. You can subscribe to email notices of the comments they post, or you can make it a habit to check back during the week.
Comment subscription emails: See the Reply form down below? It lets you subscribe or not each time you add your reply. The subscription is for comments posted on a particular page, like this one. Please note that some email providers block comment emails because they suspect us of spamming you. If you are not getting the comment notices, be sure to check back, or try a different email address when you post comments. Our weekly announcement emails, with links to each page, come through a different email server and almost always reach people.
Finding others’ comments: To find others’ comments, you can use the link to each comment that’s included in the comment notices, or you can use the links to the exercise and chapter pages in the week’s announcement email, the welcome page, or your Member Profile.
That’s a lot of information, I know. Don’t worry. I’ll include reminders in your emails and on each web page. And I’ll give you a link to the Book Club Help Page every week.
Now, let’s get started. Use a Leave a Reply box below to introduce yourself. Where are you from? What is one fun or rewarding thing you have done at least once in your lifetime? And if we ever want to send you something to cheer you up, what should it be?
Feel free to use the Reply button under anyone else’s introduction to say hi, too.
Hello! Wood turning is something I saw artisan do once when on holiday. It was miraculous to watch the bowl form. I can understand why you’d love that as a hobby.
This random comment is supposed to be a reply to Art. Admin can delete it. People will think I’m unraveling
Hi, Caroline!
Seeing how the block of wood transforms and what it reveals in the turning is magical. Some of the magic for me lies in how I’m not left with any feelings of stress after a session of hyper-focused turning; unlike what I experience from hyper-focused periods at my corporate job. Do you have any similar hobbies.
Hi Art, it sounds like you get into a state of ‘flow’ when doing your woodwork. Flow is a magical state, but I find it a bit elusive. II know I’m doing something I love when I feel it, though. I think it’s a good sign for you.
No and I wish I did. Writing might be the closest thing for me, but I am hating being on my laptop these days. Gardening is quite fun if I have the energy. I bought a clarinet, I’m hoping that’ll give me something that is absorbing and uplifting.
Hello ! I’m joining you from a tiny village called Magaliesburg in South Africa.
I ran into Barbara’s books a number of years ago. I was delighted to find this book club just as I was deciding to revisit the books. I’m realising I’m not getting younger, this journey is a fixed term contract. I’m getting to grips with my self-diagnosed ADHD and I am surprised to find myself living on a farm in the middle of nowhere , which leaves me with time and space to explore this frenetic whirlwind that is my existence.
I’m excited to finally work through this book properly. And I’m looking forward to getting to know all of you..
Hi Caroline!
So happy you get to “finally work through this book properly”….I love that! Welcome to the Book Club 🙂
Hello from Northern Michigan! I’ve had the book “Refuse to Choose” for over a decade. I’ve always found it helpful, but would like to take a deeper dive. I’m often frustrated with myself because I rarely begin and even more rarely finish my ideas/projects. I have many ideas on “repeat“ but can easily get distracted.
One rewarding thing that I have done is to volunteer for Minneapolis “heart of the beast” puppet theater for their Mayday Parade – they have the community come in and make masks… I was there to assist and it was a blast. On my list to get back to maskmaking, Puppets, and to have a fun community participation event in a local parade. … Apologies for bad grammar and typos… Dictating this on my phone (the wonders of technology!) Looking forward to book club!
Hello! I’m also frustrated with my playlists of interests and projects that are in a endless replay loop. I keep a book of ideas so that I can remember them all. I’m not sure that’s helping ::D
But wow, puppets! That’s a new one for me! It sounds just amazing. I’m envious of your parade, I love festivals and street parties. But I’m in a farming community now, to farmers Co-op store is the closest thing we have to a communal gathering place LOL
I’m relieved that someone else has a “playlist on endless loop”. . Actually, since moving to a small town in Michigan, one of my dreams is to put together a little puppet & mask corps that can march in parades or be at community events. It’s such a fun way for kids and adults to be in an activity together. Looking forward to hearing more about the projects on your playlist as the book club gets underway. Happy summer!!
Hi Monica! I had to laugh when I read what you wrote about technology because my phone speaks a totally different language than me when I dictate :0) Welcome!
Hi there- I have great fun arranging flowers although Ive had no special training and I also love to hike. Because I was living in Florida and tired of the increasing heat and felt burned out on owning a big house as a single woman, I decided to move to a beautiful area that boasts peonies , roses and daffodils in the spring- Tennessee! I’m 68 and this has been a huge move for me for many reasons and particularly because I don’t know anyone here- but I am working on that!
I have curiosity about many things and I am in this club to learn how to encourage and support myself and others as scanners.
Kudos and moving to Tennessee, Elizabeth! I’m 60 and fairly new to Michigan myself. I’m impressed with your chutzpah!! It definitely is a challenge and takes work to create a new community… I’m working on that also also. Looking forward to being in book club with you!!
Welcome to Tennessee, Elizabeth. We have been here for almost 5 years. We are in the Nashville area, where did you land?
Hi Elizabeth. I love that you moved to a place with flowers!
I have a fascination for raptors. Three years ago I moved to live on a farm and it turns out there are A LOT of raptors here. Well a lot of all sorts of birds. I’ve logged 92 species so far! It’s amazing to walk outside and be met with such abundance.
Hi Elizabeth! Welcome to the Book Club. Way to go on the big move….what an adventure!
Hi everybody! I live on the coast in Delaware. Moved here six years ago from a small town in Md. I’m a grandmother, open hearted spirit and frustrated creator. I have made things my entire life. I’ve also been diagnosed with ADD, and no medication has worked. So, I am a scanner….except when I’m in hyper focus mode. It’s hard AND fascinating to watch myself with it!
I’m here hoping to get a book finished that I have been sporadically working on for over 20 years. I also want to enjoy painting and develop a less intense mindset to all of my creative endeavors.
All I do is an expression of what I value. I’m very happy when I create and when I connect with others in that way. Kind of a soul to soul connect.
I’m hoping to get support and to learn from this experience. I yearn to feel greater satisfaction and less frustration.
Thanks to all for being here!
Mary Ann
Hi Mary Ann- I completely “get” the pressured feeling… one of my goals is to acquire illustration skills, but I get such a pressure in my chest… Perfectionism? Nervousness? I don’t know, but I wish I could create in a more relaxed manner.
I’m excited to see in what creative directions you go!
Hi MaryAnn!
I’m self diagnosed ADHD, everyone in my family is diagnosed and they all agree with my self diagnosis 😀
I hear you about the hyper focus issue. It’s the only way I get things finished but it’s exhausting and a bit worrying I can focus on one thing for more than 12 hours without a break. New interests can cancel out all adulting for weeks. I’m trying to regulate that with external prompts. So I find I am hesitant to get started on a deep dive. I have books I want to write, three as of tonight, I just formulated another one just now. But I know that I’ll cancel my entire life if I start them in earnest, so they sit in various states of incompleteness! Focusing on work needs to get all my energy right now.
I’m hoping this book club will help with that a bit.
Hi MaryAnn,
I love your statement: ‘All I do is an expression of what I value’. That’s a great way to live. I hope you get to feel more satisfaction from your endeavours in future.
Thank you Christine! I really appreciate it!
I’m really looking forward to this process and your comment is a wonderful initiation!
Have you participated before, or read any of Barbara’s books? I read one of her first books(title isn’t coming to mind!) and it got me on track to get Christmas ornament designs published in a national arts & crafts magazine. That was thrilling! Things didn’t build into a business like I’d hoped, but it WAS an interesting and great learning experience!
Let me know what you hope to “get” from being here!
Mary Ann
Wow – that is an impressive outcome, even if it didn’t lead to an ongoing business!
I’ve never read any of Barbara’s books cover to cover (II’ve leafed through many in the past), but I came across her TED talk ‘Isolation is the dream-killer’ a few years ago. I have watched it and re-watched it many times over. Everything Barbara said in that talk made so much sense to me. This is the first time I’m really engaging with her work.
I’m hoping to bring my many interests together in a meaningful way and stop feeling so stuck all the time!
Hi Mary Ann! Welcome to the Book Club 🙂
Hi, I am Sabine from Germany. It is my first time in a bookclub and I am curious how it will be. I am not sure if I already read the book “refuse to choose “ because I am not sure how it is titled in german. But anyway, I will it read in English now to avoid translation problems.
I am happy to be here in the community.
With my last name of “Schultz”, it’s exciting to have you in the group. . I hope you easily find a copy of the book
Hi Monica, so good that you mentioned your last name. I changed my name when I married. But before that my name was “Schulz” (without “t”). Glad to meet you here.
In German, it’s Du musst dich nicht entscheiden, wenn du tausend Träume hast, Sabine.
Thank you Patty. I thought I read it years ago. But yesterday I bought the English edition and had a first look at it and it feels to me totally new. So I’m very happy to read it in the original language and work through it the next couple of months.
Ich spreche Deutsch, aber nicht sehr gut.
Me and an old friend took German for four years, through high school in 1994. But, being in the U.S. I haven’t had much opportunity to exercise the skill. It’s mostly gone after 30 years, unfortunately.
German is difficult. My respect that you still can speak german after so long time. Schoen, dich hier kennenzulernen.
Hi Sabine! This is my first book club too. I’m in South Africa.
Hi Caroline, nice to meet you.
Hi Sabine!
Book Clubs (especially Barbara’s!) are the best! Welcome 🙂
Hi my name is Karen. Shortly before the beginning of high school, my parents paid for Aptitude tests for me to find out what I might like to do in the rest of my life. I do find that the things I like to do follow a certain “pattern” and always involves also more learning in complex fields, such as medicine, nutrition, psychology, and now botany and aromatherapy. In addition, computers and phones always change. More learning. This can be sometimes fun and sometimes frustrating. I look forward to reading other’s comments. Thank you.
Hi Karen. You remind me of my brother in law, his book shelf was filled with university level textbooks on every topic under the sun! I find that very impressive. Especially if they’ve actually been read, I tend to just look at them believing I’ll read them one day..I did a correspondence university degree in my 40’s after taking 20 gap years . It was a fantastic course, Communication Sciences. You can add that to your list of you haven’t explored that yet! What’s the most interesting topic you’ve delved into so far?
Hi Karen!
Welcome! So glad to see everyone here 🙂
Craig here from north of Toronto Canada. I read Refuse to Choose many years ago and was very happy to discover that there is a name for what I am and it’s not “crazy”. I have sort of acted like a Scanner by default through 36 years of IT work, but now I want to really focus on becoming a truly fulfilled Scanner.
I really enjoyed taking a river cruise in Europe in 2019 with my wife.
You can make my day by referring me to an interesting non-fiction book that you have come across (I love history, geography, and unusual topics).
Hi Craig, the last nonfiction book I read that was interesting to me was The Elephant Whisperer by Lawrence Anthony. I learned a LOT about elephants, and the mysterious and intelligent ways that they work.
Hi Craig! Thank you for joining and welcome 🙂
Greetings, everyone! I am happy to be here with fellow Scanners. One of the biggest “aha” moments for me was discovering I am a Scanner. I currently live in my 8th state in the US and am married to a (now retired) Navy guy, which is one of the reasons we moved so much. Learning that I am a Scanner also explains why I didn’t fret about moving around so much over the years like some of my military friends. However, I will say that as I get older, moving is becoming a bit more challenging, and I would rather travel a bit more than actually move all of my stuff with me.
This is my second book club, and even though I didn’t finish the first one, I am determined to finish this one. I hope to gain a lot from it. Tammy was our gracious leader in the last club, and I look forward to working with her again and learning from her as well.
Hi there! I also move a lot but for no good reason. My most recent move was 3 years ago from metropolitan Cape Town city to a family owned farm in the north of SA . The change has been interesting!
I understand what you mean about not wanting to move as much as you get older!
I’ve always wondered what it would be like to live on a farm. I know that it is a lot of work. Hope you are also getting some enjoyment from it too.
Hi Nan!
So happy to see you again! I am catching up as I had a computer glitch and am a late arrival….yikes! So happy to be here and welcome 🙂
Hello! Art Bingham here, writing in from DeKalb, Illinois, USA.
One fun thing I’ve done is learn to turn pens on a lathe. I’ve been doing that mow for about 5 years and have recently begun learning to turn bowls as well.
If you ever want to send me something to cheer me up, remind me that I now belong to a community of like-minded people who are available for support if I reach out.
Hello Art,
Welcome to this group of like minded people.
Wooohooo! A woodturner is here! Welcome to a group of like-minded people! I don’t do wood crafting,, but would like to work on illustrations.
Hello! Wood turning is something I saw artisan do once when on holiday. It was miraculous to watch the bowl form. I can understand why you’d love that as a hobby.
Hi Art! Welcome to the Book Club 🙂
Hi Art! Welcome to the Book Club 🙂