Look at that list you wrote of all the things you’ve done. Now pick up a pencil and see if you can remember anything that interested you, even for a very short period of time, and add it to your list. Then ask yourself these two questions about everything on the list.
- What was the most exciting or interesting part of the experience?
- Why did you stop when you did?
Go back and rethink the moment you stopped being absorbed in the project, when you began to lose interest or started having doubts.
What had gone away?
When the magnet that originally attracted you starts diminishing in power, you’ve done what you set out to do. Your purpose for being there is gone. That’s why you lose interest. Not because you’re flawed or lazy or unable to focus, but because you’re finished. It seems obvious, but it never occurs to most of us.
Now, start another column beside your list and title it Rewards. Next to each activity or interest you entered, write down the Rewards you got from that activity.
…
When you’re getting your Reward from any activity, you always feel happy, absorbed, energetic. And when you are satisfied, or the reward diminishes, you get bored. It’s as natural as sitting down to eat when you’re hungry and leaving when you’re full.
Add your answers to this exercise right beside your "What Have I Done So Far?" list in your Scanner Daybook. In a new comment on this page, tell us about your experience with this exercise. Share your most frequent Rewards if you feel comfortable doing so. Then read the rest of the comments and see if you would like to reply to any of them. We can learn so much from each other.
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Use the Next link (up above the title) to continue on to What I Learned from Chapter 2, What’s Wrong with Me? after you are done with your comments.
The common threads are the challenges that the following bring: learning or doing something new, creating something/a creative outlet, and improving upon something. I also like being able to help others by doing these things.
However, when the goal (pollen reward, even though I may not be aware of it) is met, I struggle to remain interested.
Another “aha” moment to explain the above was this quote from the book ~ makes PERFECT sense for me:
“When you’re getting your Reward from any activity, you always feel happy, absorbed, energetic. And when you are satisfied, or the reward diminishes, you get bored. It’s as natural as sitting down to eat when you’re hungry and leaving when you’re full.”
The dinner analogy is spot on! I wish I could thank Barbara personally, though I am most thankful that her mentees are carrying on her work. 🙂
Awe Nan, that is so sweet, and if I may so I think Barbara hears us and as spirit (depending upon your beautiful cosmology) she is basking in the gratitude in your heart 🙂
My rewards were to gain a larger sense of independence and an ability to count on myself as opposed to needing to get it outside (such as sourdough for example. I make my own! Haven’t bought bread for more than half a year at this point). I also find that a sense of accomplishment is a large driver, and also to feel integral to a larger group, either creating community or sharing information with others. And a main driver of mine is testing my competency by trying something new. For example, I learned I don’t like making floorplans from the last course! And I’ve also taken an ArcGIS course in university, which I sadly failed out! It’s always a little sad to know I’m not good at something, but then I remind myself that I’ve done very well in so many ways.
Your homemade sour dough sounds wonderful…and practical!
Kudos to sourdough making. I started over a month ago and that is a rabbit hole for sure~ so many ways to make it, then the discard, etc. A lot of fun if you like to bake. I just like the bread. Enjoy!
I was reminded that I take pleasure in doing something that not a lot of others do, or at least a lot of others around me. For example, when I was much younger I learned to play the Appalachian lap dulcimer. There weren’t a many people around me who even knew that the instrument existed. I immersed myself in this for about a year and then lost interest. I didn’t have any desire to master the instrument, I just wanted to learn more about it than most people. I’ve repeated this with quite a few things on my list. Consequently, I know more about linguistics than most people ever know, but didn’t bother to write a doctoral dissertation. I learned to speak Japanese fluently and learned enough about reading the language to handle simple narratives without a dictionary. However, I didn’t have the desire to learn enough to read a non-fiction text without the aid of a dictionary.
I enjoy the challenge AND enjoy it when people around me recognize that I’ve learned something different and then show interest in it.
Fascinating, I understand that full immersive wanting to learn something to a great depth but not feel the need to make it a life’s work.
I relate to this! I like to learn languages to the point of being able to converse with others. But to actually read a novel in that particular language does not attract me at all. I’d rather know 5 languages to a basic conversational level than one language to the level of PhD.
You also seem to like really challenging things. Those interests are definitely more challenging than just learning an instrument or a language. Good for you.
My rewards include the thrill of exploring and experiencing things that I’ve studied in depth or otherwise read about extensively, e.g. travelling to a place that I’ve learnt about. Also, the satisfaction of achieving something difficult that will have a practical, positive impact on others. Then there’s the thrill of creating an experience for others, e.g. working on a performance. Then there’s the warm feeling of helping other people out. Lastly, the thrill of learning something that feels like I’m extending myself and that just feels good to me, full stop.
“That’s a wonderful list of goals and rewards. It’s such a blessing to be able to fully experience all aspects of a subject. Thank you for sharing. I think I’ll revisit my list to see if there’s anything I can add to my Day Book to add to any of my past desires. Who knows, it might reignite some of them.”
In a lot of my experience, the reward was knowledge or money (which is now gone anyway, so was it really a reward?) The best thing about Scanners seems to be that we don’t get bored (until we do) and we do many things just to see what will happen when we do it. It’s a good thing I never desired to stick a fork in a light socket, though I remember a 6th grade teacher chiding me not to stick a paperclip in one. I wasn’t going to, anyway! Just like I wasn’t going to do the homework she assigned. 6th grade was the year I got perfect attendance in detention, either for recess fights or realizing homework was nonsense. Though, I do enjoy these exercises. Paradox.
🙂 when I think about it deeply, everything seems to come back to Parasox !
*Paradox!
For me the most exciting, rewarding things about what I have done has been learning something new and the challenge. The harder the challenge the better. If someone says, I can’t do something, I want to try it.
Changing from being an actress to a counsellor came about when I realsied I wanted to understand the human condition even more than an actor can. I loved the challenge of setting up a business and learning how to get clients. Now, I have learned that, I have itchy feet again.
I feel there is a new challenge on the horizon, I feel fear about taking steps to make something happen but this excerise has helped me see, I actually thrive on the slightly scary and unpredictable. I am someone who, when I’m at my best, will jump off a cliff and expect my wings to open.
Beautiful Zibby! I love that you expect your wings to open…you have that knowing✨
Two of the top reasons I do what I do:
Sensation
Doing what others can’t
Sensation was a big surprise to me
Another thing I notice, at least based on an initial list: activities where I enjoy a human sensation – I’m not sure I ever get bored of those hobbies. Whereas doing what others can’t: those activities seem more temporal. The Reward subsides eventually and I move on.
Hi Nate, yes I agree with you, doing what other might find scary is something that I’m drawn to.