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    211 thoughts on “Login”

    1. I really enjoyed last night’s Resistance Workshop and would like to be able to find the recording.
      The bit about stubborness causing resistance hadn’t occurred to me before but totally makes sense.
      I wonder if ‘shame’ is the fifth emotion?
      It wouldn’t let me log in my Skype so I phoned from the Uk and worry about how much it was costing made me hang up before the end so I’d like access to the recording please.

      • That’s a great question, Jennifer. (about shame being the 5th feeling). When I was learning, we used to push it as big as we could it was a lot like guilt and disgust in that it turned into anger. Rage, actually. That was a process something like the primal scream where an unidentified feeling was encouraged by everyone saying “Louder!” to the person until the feeling became spontaneous and volcanic. Shame and guilt often moved through what we jokingly called ‘the primal Blech!’ and then into pure roars of anger. And when people were done, they did not feel shame or guilt anymore. The empty, clean feeling lasted a long time, but the shame or guilt could be triggered again if someone was even a little creepy to them. And then the ‘primal yuck’ flew out and quickly turned to anger. And people didn’t let anyone do anything Yucky to them again without feeling nice, clean anger. Shame is like someone throwing mud on you, and then you’re ashamed that you’re muddy. But when you get down to the core of what you feel it’s always ‘How Effing Dare You Throw Mud On Me!’ A nice, healthy response to someone offending you. (What was the guilt about? Often that one responded slightly and felt there was something wrong with them as a result. They soon realized that they had been tricked, and just felt anger.)

        • Of course! Anger! Because feeling shame started, way back, with someone shaming us. I love the line, it’s like someone throwing mud at you and then being ashamed that you’re muddy. Makes me think my stubborness could be a result of being shamed. I do remember being shamed for being stubborn too as my Dad was stubbon but disowned and projected it. Interesting!

    3. Hi Barbara, I’m in my early 50s, wanting to write a book/novel for 20 years AND I’ve wanted to have my own business since I had my own failed (retail) business 20 years agos. Working in corporate america for the last 3 decades, I do know that I want my own business again and I want a “laptop” lifestyle (where I can work anywhere anytime). After tons of research and self analysES, I thought that I could pursue writing non-fiction books/guides that could provide supplemental income that maybe, eventually could exceed my salary so I could leave the corporate life forever. However, I’m a great story teller (I’ve been told) and have many fiction stories I could write, but statistically, the chances of making a living are higher in non-fiction than fiction. Since I work 10 hours a day, I feel like have to make a choice: do I start writing non-fiction books to try to earn $ to get away from a company job OR do I write my fiction stories and try, which is harder, to sell them. Did I mention that I’ve had this conflict for a long time and I’m afraid of failure (and probably) success as well? Warmest regards, CJ

    4. True to Scanner form, I’m on board at the last moment. Because of that, I need login details too – I just emailed webmaster Patty…(or whoever is running the show these days.)
      My resistance issues: My lifestyle has changed recently and I’m having some troubles aligning what I’m doing with someone who’s got a huge amount on his plate that I can’t really help with much. (He’s stalled on a mostly-built house and we’re camped on his property together, with some practical hurdles like a generator for electricity that ruins laptop batteries. I’m afraid if I get into helping him that my own projects will quickly pale in comparison. But I’d like to help him in some limited ways, which I do, but I’d like more ideas about that boundary thing if there are others who must work out time allotment of shared projects with their sweeties.)

      I do have two writing projects right now. I seem to have no problem writing regularly for long periods of time – it’s the “finishing” stuff: learning the specs of what is correct for e-book layout, (I had that info on my Kindle that died!) ;( …Getting the pictures, the front and back matter together, the 150 word description, marketing strategies, etc. I’ve looked for someone else who’d be a “buddy” on doing this who might also be learning about doing e-books, but have not found them yet, or maybe I just did, not sure.
      So… my current brilliant strategy is to try to finish something that’s smaller than my “real book.” (in this case, 16 blog posts on a subject I know about) and turn it into an e-book so I can get over the hump of not knowing how to finish the e-book Barbara has been hoping I could complete – (the book about experiences of how to locate mentors and teachers through personal relationships rather than paying for an endless scannerhood education.)

      I’ve got the first book done, now I’ve been productively procrastinating – meaning, I’ve been putting other projects in front of it so it doesn’t get actually turned into an e-book. (House sit for three weeks in Oct. next to where I’ve got junk stored that I’m paying for means I can sell it easily and downsize, for instance.) I’ve got a speaking gig on the subject I think some time in October, so the deadline to having it done is looming. Maybe the answer is to reschedule the speaking gig and give myself more time…but I don’t usually respond well to giving myself more time. It’s a deadline that makes me jump.
      Anyway – I’m looking forward to this resistance class.

      • I was surprised that you told me I should get help to do those things I’m resisting. But you’re completely right in that asking for help is something that I never really considered. Because I’m a scanner, everything that I’ve always wanted to do I’ve used all my interests as an opportunity to learn to do it. If it’s a money requirement, I’ve always been able to overcome money issues one way or another through trading skills.

        What appealed the most to me that you mentioned was for me to trade projects with someone else. A person I recently met has popped into my mind who, when she handed me her business card, said she listed e-books on her card, but she didn’t really know how to do them yet. Maybe we can each work on each others project? When I’m “helping” someone else, I’m much more responsible and responsive and on-task than when I’m doing it for myself…but you probably know that paradox well… And getting help is a powerful motivator to hold up your end of the deal if you need to scrape things together so the other person can help you.
        Some other things you said as well really struck a chord with me too…and will be resulting in my looking up some ESL volunteering. (Probably I’ve been hiding out isolated too long, and my current sweetie is a REAL hermit!)

    5. Curiosity question. Why go through all other forms of resistance before doing the jet exercise? Why not start there?

    7. I didn’t think to check your site until today, Barbara. So happy to see that you had nothing to do with the mess on July 20th or the lack of refund after my repeated requests. Sorry that you got stiffed by them. Looking forward to finally hearing what you have to say on the subject of resistance on Sept. 22nd.

    8. Per my personal resistance:
      It seems I encounter the most resistance when moving towards the end of a task; or just finishing. Let’s say its a writing project. I’m pretty good at generating sound ideas & thought. Gathering the research is a delight. I get a clear picture in my head, & occasionally outline of where I want togo, what I want to say.

      Often I start out like gangbusters and am pleased as punch with the first 3/4 of the task. Finishing the project, bringing all that good work to an end… well its awful & anxious. How di we deal with this?

      Thanks, michael

      • I’ll call on you after 2pm your time, Michael. It’s something that will help everyone to hear. (And if you’re not home yet at 2 I’ll try 230, and if that doesn’t do the trick, I’ll answer you right here after the seminar is over.

        • Wish I could have heard about this – what Micheal does sounds quite a bit just like what I do to myself. Only instead of becoming anxious, I just go to sleep and hide from everyone who expects me to deliver after I’ve announced and teased them into wanting what I haven’t gotten done yet.

    10. Dear Barbara,
      I’m ready and excited for your resistance workshop (Aug. 31st). I have read some of your books, watched you on Youtube, etc. I have asked myself if I am a scanner, which I think I am. I have done so many interesting things in my life, well now I can say they are interested… before knowing about you, I used to think I was an inconsistent, unstable, irrational person who needed to grow up…. I studied Math & Computer Science in college. I became a business operating consultant. Then I became a tour operator, fun, got to travel and meet people! I studied Acupuncture and was certified as a TCM practitioner, met a lot of people who needed help and then saw them healed. I owned a book distributor, fun too, got to read all these books…. Now I own a home service company, we offer home and window cleaning, handyman service, etc. It has been fun too to see how this business has grown. And now I want to become a coach. I’m studying coaches books, their techniques. I feel frozen. I’m afraid I won’t be able to really accomplish this. I think this involves more money for me and more freedom to be anywhere in the world and it just seems like an illusion.
      Anyway, I’m happy I can write to you, I know you understand what I’m writing you about… it has been a long journey and I’m glad I made it through so many obstacles. I’m looking forward to Saturday at 10:00am PT. Kindly, Ana H.

      • I’m sorry to see I didn’t answer your email, Ana. Did I get to talk to you on the phone? I hope you’ll be notified of this reply I’m sending and come back on to talk some more.

        Perhaps it would be better to continue over at barbarasclub.com/resistance831 – I’ll go over there and check. Come too if you can.

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