Hanging Out Registration Re-Opens in April 2025
Hanging Out will be the jewel in the crown of Barbara’s Club. To be honest, I think it’s going to be the jewel in the crown of my lifetime’s work. That’s what it feels like. —Barbara Sher, 2012
Barbara called this members-only program Hanging Out, because she wanted it to be like those wonderful moments just hanging out together at her retreats and weekend workshops. Patty Newbold will be your guide now that Barbara is no longer with us.
Registration Re-Opens April 3, 2025
$197 for a full year
Barbara put together her most beloved ideas and stories and wrote her best stuff ever for Hanging Out. This was bigger than writing another book. It was a huge job, but every minute was a labor of love for her. And with this program she gives you videos from her retreats and workshops, loads of audio, new interactive stuff and other amazing things we can’t describe here or we’ll go on forever. All this in addition to the exercises that made a big difference to you in the past.
After almost a year HO is still my favourite thing on the internet and in my inbox. So many things I could just read over and over and find something each time. The world didn’t change but I’m different in it. -JD
I’m excited about this exercise. I’ve printed it out to work on over the weekend. Barbara, I look forward to working it through and circling back. You’re a gemstone! -A Hanging Out member in Week 38
Once you’re a member, the rest will be easy. Every week, three times a week, via email, I’ll send you some very special things to read, watch and do. They’re not what you expect, I’m pretty sure of that. As much as you may like my books, what you’re going to find in Hanging Out is very new and very different. You’ll want to make comments, compare notes and talk to the other members of Hanging Out, and that’s exactly what happens here. It changes the whole experience into something entirely new, something most of us are missing and need as much as vitamins and sunshine. The effect on most members has been profound.
Registration Re-Opens April 3, 2025
$197 for a full year
You can’t get Hanging Out all at once like a book that ends up on that pile of books you plan to read, and you can’t stick it back on your bookshelf and forget what your life is supposed to be. Barbara learned too much about what’s important for us humans to take that kind of chance.
You’ll receive emails from Barbara every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a year, announcing the day’s video, audio message, Identity Exercise, Reality Series success story or Brain Candy she prepared for you. Barbara’s Director of Sher Success Teams and WriteSpeak Coach, Patty Newbold, will be reading and responding to your online comments. You’ll also be able to read Barbara’s replies to comments from our first eight years of Hanging Out.
Hanging out has really developed clarity in my life. One thing that I love about you Barbara is that you never tell anyone to just try harder and you don’t shame in any way. You support and encourage which is so very rare. You make sense of the non-sense. This group has provided something wonderful for me. Even the subtle messages are always very powerful. —Michelle
So what is it?
It’s easier to say what it’s not. Hanging Out is not a how-to course or a motivation program. I sometimes think it’s designed for people who have worked too hard and forgot what it’s like to wake up in a goal-free world full of fresh, stimulating ideas, fun and camaraderie.
I’ll always have courses for you on Barbara’s Club so you can find your dreams and achieve your goals, but Hanging Out is not about goal achievement. Instead, it’s more like what one member called “a profound and delicious form of Identity Rehab.”
I absolutely love the idea of Barbara’s Club being integrated into the everyday world—nothing to leave behind—and a consistent source of inspiration. Thank you! —Victoria, by email
If you join us here, Barbara’s emails and online messages will be popping into your life briefly, happily and relentlessly, over and over, waking up your senses, making you laugh and go exploring and, most important of all, helping you remember who you are and how good life is supposed to be.
You’ll receive emails from Barbara every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a year, announcing the day’s video, audio message, Identity Exercise, Reality Series success story or Brain Candy she prepared for you. Barbara’s Director of Sher Success Teams and WriteSpeak Coach, Patty Newbold, will be reading and responding to your online comments. You’ll also be able to read Barbara’s replies to comments from our first eight years of Hanging Out, before she passed away.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for creating Hanging Out with Barbara. There have been so many “favorite” posts. One that stands out is your description of how you decorated your apartment with all the glorious references to color. I wanted to sink into one of your armchairs and absorb it all. Finding our originality. Yes. Discovering ways to express it. Yes. Realizing that time is short and excuses long. Yes. Boxing up all our should, would and could and relaxing into today, into now, into this moment. Yes. Finding that joy is the reward for allowing oneself to just be who you are. Yes. So many wonderful lessons I have learned, relearned, and unlearned this year…What I have learned this year has changed my life. For that I am eternally grateful. – A Hanging Out Member at the end of the year
No risk – full refund if you cancel your subscription within the first 30 days
$197 for a full year
OR pay by the month – $24 per month
Contact webmaster@barbarasclub.com if you encounter any problems with payment or if you don’t receive a “Thank You! And Welcome to Hanging Out” email within an hour after paying.
Registration Re-Opens on April 3, 2025
Purchase a gift certificate
$197 for a full year membership gift certificate
Gift certificate mailed within 48 hours. Contact webmaster@barbarasclub.com if you do not receive yours.
Barbara came to my attention in the late 80s. I have followed her for nearly 15 years. Between attending her live seminars, reading her books and hanging out…I have had the Barbara doctrine imprinted on my brain: “Isolation is the dram killer.” YOU have made the right decision by joining a fine group of people. I was where you are now. I have arrived at the other end of the spectrum at age 70, calm, cool, collected and feel enriched with each word that Barbara ever wrote. YOU will get there, you will find peace, I know this because you have already made the right decision to “hang out!” Best of luck to you.
Metha Sizemore
Sizemore Seminars
Beautifully said, Martha!
Karin
How do I get a discount coupon?
You could become a Success Teams leader. They get $50 off. http://shersuccessteams.com
Dear Barbara,
I very, very, very much want to join and Hang Out with You and others!!! In fact, I seriously need to do just that! Similarly, as a member of your two book clubs (ICDA) and now R2C, I want to move forward in my R2C readings, exercises, and contributions. Yet, we are now in week 7 and I am starting week 4 only–I am going thru turmoil of all sorts and I am disorganized. Bottomline: I am overwhelmed, utterly so. In the midst of “retiring” from a 34-year job where I gained loads of varied experience in different areas—ALMOST a scanner’s dream—I want very much now to finally find my passion/s as I turn 55 years old next month. So, yes, I want to join and I know by doing so I can help myself…I just feel overwhelmed mostly in my life generally. You are my Hope for climbing out of the bottom of the pit that I am in. Thank you.
Sincerely and with my last remnants of Hope, Maria.
Maria, Hanging Out is once again accepting registrations, for the group who will begin on November 17th. If you are especially busy right now, just introduce yourself and catch up later. http://barbarasclub.com/hangingout/
Hello,
I signed up, paid up, and ready to hang out! Still utterly overwhelmed, don’t know where to begin or end, but at least my computer is up and running again. Most importantly, HOPE I have now that I am signed up with y’all and Barbara, Patty et al!
Thank you,
Maria
Don’t worry, Maria. Ignore the book clubs for now and wait for Hanging Out. It doesn’t start until Nov 17th, and it makes no demands. It’s designed for people who feel burned-out so, though I almost never use this word, it’s ‘healing.’ (Although I *never* say “Reeelaaax.” I never ask you to do meditation or to love yourself. Or any of those other things that don’t work for me.) It is kind and funny and easy. But it works on you. it builds strength from the ground up, slowly, without you noticing. It’s clear and simple but perfect for anyone who’s overwhelmed. Just go easy on yourself right now, and wait for the 17th.
Dear Barbara!
Thank you so! Every day brings me closer to “retirement” and, soon, I will be able to chill and relax to the max! I hope–I need to find a “detox” place where I can be with good people and exercise, rest, eat well, and explore new things. At the same time, I will want to “Hang Out,” naturally, with all the great people here! Any suggestions? Esalen? They do not have wifi. Ghost Ranch? Also no wifi, I think…I would really love, love, love to have time to do the above-mentioned chilling, the Hanging Out, AND the R2C book club exercises. Any suggestions, thoughts?
Your devoted Fan,
Maria
P.S.: Great news today from you: you are ten years younger than I thought. How delightful!
Ooops, sorry, I am a bit “frech”…I hope you don’t mind my age comment. Honestly, I am just glad that I miscalculated!
Help! I am in high-anxiety mode today/tonight! I leave for canine hydrotherapy course two early in the morning….Just realized I messed up the flight back home….thought I was coming home noon, but somehow missed that it is 12:25 am!!!! Is going to mess up travel plans with rental car with the woman returning with me….plus, I have been working on homework for presentation all day, and dont think I can possibly be done to go to bed on time. Procrastinated because I did not feel I knew what I was doing…..Anyone have ideas? I am freaking out!!!!!
Didn’t see this in time, Karla! Don’t worry about the plane after the training is over. You should be able to fix that. I hope you felt better once you headed out for your class.
(And remember, if you react too much to minor problems that means something else might be scaring you.)
I wonder if I do this, too. I react to problems. I’m not sure if hating to be lost in strange hotels is minor. I know I get easily dizzy and turned around. I can’t afford a guide assistant. So I often pretend I’m okay when I’m really not. Likewise, street crossings even with audible traffic signals.
I react with anxiety a lot. Ended up being a great adventure for me though. Being lost in strange hotels would be hard
Yes, it is hard especially when I have friends who enjoy it. It’s their idea of fun. One friend was rude to several volunteers. Sometimes, maybe it’s called for. I might be too diplomatic. But I just don’t have the energy to cope with being lost and all.
You are gonna love the solution my instructor came up with, Barbara! I left the car for my classmate . We each had three hour long sessions with brand new clients that day. I paid for two of mine to be photographed by a professional. Mine ended at 7 pm, and guess who I paid to drive.me the two hours to the airport……yep, Charlie the photographer! It was fun! When I get the photos, I will send you some through email. The course was amazing!!!!!!!
All’s well that ends well, Karla. I’m glad you had a great time. I can’t wait to see your latest photos with those sweet (and lucky) dogs.
I just found this post.
Three cheers Karla. I’m so glad you got your second.
I also get scared about traveling and things like missing planes and getting stranded somewhere. It might just be because I don’t do it very often, so it’s always something new. Don’t know if that rings true for you as well.
Anyway, I’m glad you had your adventure, and that it was fun and exciting.
Hi Karla, I’m fascinated by the concept of canine hydrotherapy. Can you tell me about it?
I don’t see a button that says “Want to recieve the Year one emails again?” If I did, I would sign up for year 3, getting the first year’s emails again for $12. Am I just missing something?
Thanks for reporting the problem, G.G. I believe it is fixed. Would you please refresh the page and check for a notice about Year 3 just below the list of links? [Note to everyone else: this appears only when you are logged in and nearing the end of Year 2 or have completed Year 1 without renewing for Year 2.]
I just signed up for a full year’s subscription earlier this year. What is this all about?
Whew! Have been bounced around all over the place by this ***@@!!! cantankerous computer. Now I hope this goes through without any more trouble! Well, I love HO, and am glad to be able to be sitting here typing. That’s just simply all I have to say right now.
Hello,
I just want to share that a couple of weeks ago I was in the tube and saw a girl reading “Refuse to Choose”…so when she looked up I smiled and said “Are you a scanner??” (couldn’t help it) she looked a bit surprised – she’s probably British after all – and then smiled back. So I said, check out Barbara’s Club!.
So funny to see someone reading Refuse to Choose! I hope I didn’t sound like I was from a sect or something…
🙂
That must have been fun, Alicia!
Dear Alicia,
How do you know this isn’t a Sect? (Heh heh! Just kidding!)
Haha yeah and Barbara our power hungry leader, luckily no chants or anything so far…I think we should be fine 🙂
This is England – you just don’t speak to strangers on the tube!. That’s why she was surprised..when I went to America I noticed how people are more friendly and talk to you as if they know you. But not here!
Dear Barbara and all others out there,
I hope you are all well.
I reached out to Barbara to connect with you as I have emergency in my life.
I was wondering if you please can brainstorm with me what can I do in my life right now as I have emergency.
Something happened in my life last year and I am alone and heart broken. I take whole responsibility for my situation as I made wrong choices and now I have the consequence. Luckily I am healthy and dear Barbara connects me with you.
I can not find a work since 3 months. My savings are gone. I moved out of house as I can not pay a rent and live in my car. Winter starts and I need a dry warm home. I learned many life lessons and somehow I feel broken and not functioning. Therefore I was wondering if we can have idea party and help me to land on my feet.
Yesterday someone told me ‘go and top up the shelves at coles’ I started cry and my whole body been shaken. I thanked to the person and walk away. Thinking I have to connect with bright people as I have precious resources and gifts I can provide. Right now I don’t know what I can do everything is too dark but deep down in my heart I know I’ve a meaningful life purpose and I am asking for help.
If you can brainstorm with me I ‘d be extremely grateful.
I am sure one day I’ll be able to help you too. Maybe even now who knows.
Thank you
Have a lovely day
Lucie
BARBARA — or whoever is in charge at Hanging Out. Can you be serious?? I can’t believe you posted this message. The language is virtually identical to many of the Internet scam emails I’ve received lately, except for substituting the request for and idea party and brainstorming instead of an urgent demand for money. I suspect that anyone who replies and gets into a dialogue with “Lucie” will soon find themselves the victim of a scam. On behalf of your loyal and legitimate customers, please beware and be wary of such tactics.
Hi, Linda. It’s not a scam. The comment was submitted in response to a very kind email from Barbara to the poster. It would probably be better placed on the Idea Party page, as I believe she is looking for ideas, but it is legit.
And thanks for the alert, because we really appreciate your help in keeping scammers off this website. We catch thousands of them a week.
If this does happen to be a legitimate request from an actual member, then I apologize. The lack of ANY specifics about her emergency and the deliberate attempt to prey upon the reader’s emotions make me suspicious, not to mention the resemblance to similar scam emails that appear from time to time.
Hi Lucie,
It’s hard to help without specifics. Does the mistake have something to do with addication? Because if it is, then there are groups that can help specifically with your addiction. Did the mistake involve stealing? If it did, and it is related to addiction, I think the best thing to do is find an addiction recovery group. There are also various grants such as pell grants and student loans that could help you get more education , and this could improve your chances for employment. God Bless, Victoria
Hi Linda & Victoria,
I am not a scam. And I do understand your perspectives. Since I am not a scam the comments are hash.
I asked Barbara to connect me with people in Sydney to have a brainstorm or idea party what I can do to get back on my feet. As I read her books and her work resonates with me.
Victoria I do not have any addiction as you mentioned. To be honest to read your comment made me feel hurt for the reason how people can be judgmental without educated information. Please to express something like this without any information is not wise.
Patty thank you very much to clarify it I appreciate it.
I did not express more details about my situation as this is very private and this is the first time I am in this kind of situation. In addition I am now online and have no idea how this all works.
Kindly
Lucie
My apologies, Lucie, for my seemingly harsh comments. As Patty said, they catch THOUSANDS of scammers every week. Those of us with only individual email may have dozens in a week. It’s a legitimate concern, especially given the way your message was worded — and you would not be aware of this if you are new to the online world. Best of luck in resolving your issues quickly and harmoniously. <3 Linda
Hi Linda
Thank you for your kind reply. As mentioned I do understand your perspective. I learned my first online lesson. Kindly Lucie
Dear Lucie,
I have a lifetime of mountaineering experience, and I have been unlucky enough to have been in your situation before. Here’s what I think you might be able to still do. And I apologize that this comment comes so late, but I have been in the hospital, and fighting to recover since.
Since I understand that you still have your car, I sincerely hope that you still have a bit of money left. If at this point, you still don’t have an address of sorts, even a “borrowed” one, I would go and rent a post office box right away, and feel glad when you have. Because now, you have your very own address, which no one can take away from you, and a way for people to reach you. Then, I would load up a food box in the back of the car with some basics in it, and if you don’t already have one, get a mechanical can-opener that doesn’t depend on power.
Now then: Here are what we mountaineering types call the Ten Essentials, and they are regarded as essential for survival in the outdoors.
Besides 1. Extra food, you should try to obtain, unless you already have: 2. Enough extra clothing, including rain gear, to keep dry and warm. 3. Matches, the long stick type, that you keep in a tightly closed jar or tin. (mine are kept in an old tin spice can). 4. Fire starter of some sort, or candle stub, for the same purpose. 5. Pocket knife, with sharp main blade and various other blades for various purposes. 6. Sunglasses. 7. First aid kit. 8. Flaslight, with extra batteries. 9 and 10 are more for mountaineers than city folks, because they would be navigating cross-country, but these would be a map and compass. A street map and possibly a provincial map might come in handy. And what I have always referred to as the 11th essential: toilet paper! Also go to a hardware store or some likely place like that, and get yourself a 10 foot by 12 foot piece of plastic, 4 mils thick. If you have trouble knowing which plastic is that thick, ask for help from a store clerk. Once you have this, you have a tarp which you can pitch in a variety of configurations for shelter. When you eat something from, say, a pint size bean can, save the can for eating and drinking from. Thrift stores have sleeping bags very cheap–I just bought one there for $9.00. Gotta go, the computer is timing out!
Dear Lucie,
Further information: When I was in your situation, I rented a P.O. box immediately. The next thing I did, within the hour, was to go answer an ad for someone wanted to clean cabins at a resort. Never mind that I’m professionally trained and never mind that I’d never cleaned professionally before in my life. I just went to the interview and got hired on the spot. Then, within the next hour, I reported to another interview for a prep cook trainee, and got hired on the spot, and never mind the fact that I had never cooked professionally before! So, I then knew that I would have enough $$$ to feed myself, and to start saving up for the deposit for an apartment. I had the aforementioned camping gear, and a tent, instead of a tarp, along with me. It was not long before I could find a safe place to put the tent! My life kept on improving! Later, I had a chance to house sit, and make a new friend, as I continued to work these jobs. Within 5 months, I had the thousand dollars saved for a deposit on my apartment. And later, I was able to find a roommate and move to a much better place, at half the rent. I was very grateful for everything I got. After I got into a place, I worked all kinds of jobs in order to keep a roof over my head–and almost always more than one part time job at a time. I cooked professionally. Cleaned 2 restaurants and a bakery. Worked in a pet store. Cleaned at a Bed and Breakfast. Worked at a used bookstore. Started my own cleaning business. It became the most profitable. I have also cared for the elderly and been a dishwasher in a restaurant. I call these things survival jobs. They’ll pay the rent and bills, with not much left over. If you don’t have work yet, maybe it would be possible to consider a part-time job as a prep cook, or find a maid service willing to take you on, and go clean houses for a living. It’s hard work, but not bad pay sometimes. Those are my suggestions, based on my own experience. Best of luck!
Great advice, Mary Ann. And below as well. Between you and An8el, we’re getting the kind of valuable information I’ve never seen anywhere else. It all makes perfect sense. Thank you!!
Dear Victoria,
Pell grants only work for undergraduates who are in the U.S., and this person is in Australia. And to immediately think that this person is probably a drug addict which is why they’re homeless is being very harsh, as well as jumping to “confusions,” I would say. An8el has some good advice, and a good perspective. The immediate things a homeless person really needs are an address and a way of being contacted, and WORK, not an education. Homelessness with winter coming on in the southern hemisphere is definitely an emergency! Priorities are places to be as warm and dry as possible, and getting any kind of work right away.
We don’t scold people here, Mary Ann (except when they scold others, so I’m doing it to you right now.)
At first I also thought Lucie’s email might be a scam. There are lots of them around and they get more clever every day. We shouldn’t be too shocked when people jump to protect us.
Hi Lucie,
I don’t know where you are, but here is a list of Twin Cities, MN and non-location-specific Resources for Socially-Conscious People with Low or No Income that I made years ago. I hope this helps. I’ll be praying for you. http://www.holisticvoicecoach.com/SCResources.pdf
Lucie, here’s some ideas to find a way out of your situation because I have been there too. First, find a gym or another place to take a shower and get clean. In the USA, public pools are often free and some have hot showers. (I don’t know what the situation is in AU. But I know that nobody will hire a stinky person.) If you are clean, you’ll be welcome if you need to hang out in libraries, laundrymats and coffeeshops, etc. to stay warm.
If you can afford it, make it a priority to get a pre-paid phone (Triple minute phones exist in the USA. You can call up to check VM from another phone so you do not need to deplete your minutes to get messages.) Once when I was homeless, someone I knew allowed me to install a landline phone at their house and to keep an answer machine under their deck and use my cordless phone in my car without bothering them. As a last resort, arrange to use someone’s phone for messages, (because you must have a way for someone to contact you if they want to offer you work.)
Now that you can clean up and have a way to be contacted, think about getting a part-time job rather than a “real job.” Recover to getting your own apartment in stages. When you get a little money coming in, rent a very small storage place with electricity, (big enough to stand in as well as keep your stuff.) Now you won’t look “homeless” because the stuff is out of your car. Then you will have a place to charge batteries and turn on a light at night, as well as a heater if you really need it.
Next job is to get an address. There has to be somewhere for someone to pay you by sending you mail. Maybe if you still have friends by this point, see if you can negotiate the use of a porch or garage for a price to pay rent you can afford. Or they might let you use their address to get mail without paying rent…but choose another person different from who is
“hosting” your phone; only ask for one favor from each person.)
Anyway, I have more suggestions but I hope this will get your started. Hang in there!!
Also, check out Barbara’s forum on ideas about how to make money immediately and find something suitable that you can do now for yourself…
http://boards.barbarasher.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=6327&start=345
What a great list of ideas, An8el. Anyone can find themselves homeless. Your suggestions make it clear they don’t need to find themselves hopeless, too.
My friend Becky Blanton spoke about being homeless at TEDGlobal:
http://www.ted.com/talks/becky_blanton_the_year_i_was_homeless
An8el, have you thought about writing a small book / a brochure with your experience to give tips and hope to homeless people (I am thinking “Hopeless but not homeless”)?, I think this would be very helpful for people in this situation to read.
MY exboyfriend worked volunteered in a homeless shelter, he taught them how to make videos, that gave them hope and a dream so they got motivated to start looking for a job, because hopelessness is a killer. You have a unique experience and sharing it could help many people.
Sorry I meant “homeless but not hopeless”…I think quicker than i type…
Well, yeah, I’ve thought about writing about how to be homeless and not get stuck there. But the people who need the info would probably not get it if it was an e-book, LOL! When you’re homeless, you only have an hour per day on a library computer at most, and that can’t be spent reading… So I guess I’d have to publish the thing too. just so I could hand it to people who are begging on the street.
An8el, Walmart would be the perfect corporate sponsor for such a book. They could distribute it for free in their stores, perhaps at the entrance to the restrooms. So many homeless people with cars or campers end up in their parking lots.
Following on what Patty says (below) it doesn’t even have to be a long book – more like a brochure with a positive messages and a clear step-by-step what to do if you find yourself in this situation…I don’t know what things are like in the States but in the UK you could look for local / goverment sponsorship. It’s worth a try imagine how many people you could help. And after that you’d write your memories and there will be a biopic too :).
Check out John Bird for inspiration:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Bird_%28entrepreneur%29
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Some-Luck-John-Bird/dp/0241141583
Webmaster,
Hey, girlie. I have not been able to figure out how to pay the twelve dollars to get the emails about year three. I know I can access them without paying, but I really want to pay and sign up …….any suggestions as to what I am doing wrong? I would like to be getting emails along with the original group that signed up and has been going along together…you know, Eileen, Elaine, Mary Ann, Yvonne, Jennifer…oh, I could go on and on… 🙂
I upgraded both pieces of software that run this site on Monday. Still trying to figure out why no one is seeing the form on their Hanging Out page. I am emailing you a link.
LOL! You’re *funny*, Karla. (big grin on my face)