144 thoughts on “Contact Barbara”

1. I signed up for a second year of HO, but I can’t see any posts after “Day 365”.

   • Year Two begins exactly one week after Year One ends. Expect emails this Monday and Thursday, Elaine. And thanks for renewing! We would all miss you dreadfully if you went away.

2. Hi Barbara heard you on youtube so I was just wondering if you can help me find and live my dreams. I have no idea what it is and how to make it come true or even if it can come true so please help if you can. You seem really geniune thanks!!!

   • What *do* you know about what you enjoy doing most, Kev? That’s where you start.

3. hi barbara, it’s been fun hanging out with you this past year. i’m retiring now so i lost about 80% of my income. do you have deals for us retired seniors? apparently obama wants to reduce social security also. anyhow i’ve got most of your great books, so i won’t be completely out of your hair.you’ve been a wonderful inspiration. thank you.

4. As a long time follower of Barbara, I never tire of this reminder…in recent years (following working through all B Sher books) We have visited – UK,Ireland, India, Brunei, Singapore, Malaysia (10 times), Fiji, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos… I have jumped out of a plan (actually a misnomer – you really just fall out attached to someone who knows what they are doing)… i have been the only “Anglo” and only male in auditions for a Bollywood dance reality show.. I have taught training skills across Australia… i have worked with International students (teaching business studies) and been greatly enriched in learning even more about other cultures (great job for an always curious scanner)… i have worked with Assylum seekers in helping them find work… i have done a course in community radio broadcasting… and currently studying Anthropology …. i have …….but I am not trying to sound like an “I am” ..I just want everyone who might doubt to understand that this message is an absolute truth !!.. Thank you more than I can express Barbara

   • is anyone out there?

     • Out where? Hi Peter!

5. Hello Barbara,

   I’m the guy who asked you a question regarding “going for recognition” after your workshop on Saturday. 🙂

   I would like to thank you again for your advice. It helped me so much and combined with everything else that I have learned from you, I feel like I finally arrived home after years of searching. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

   I’m not a big fan of superlatives but it’s true: From all the people I have met in my life, you are the person who inspired me most and I admire you for influencing so many people in such an important way.

   If I can assist you in any way, please let me know. 🙂

   See you soon!

   Best wishes,
   Alex Krobbach

   • Thank you, Alex. I’m getting to know you since Berlin, and I think you have a very fine future. I think you can do a lot of good in this world, as well, and I know you want to.

6. Hello Barbara, what can I say, huge fan 🙂 found your book about scanners and it seems all fell to places… at last I know whats “wrong” with me 🙂 would want to attend your workshops, are you going to come to Dublin ever or London? and your events in Germany are they in english or german? was looking at the event this weekend in Berlin, but all info in german…

   • Thanks for this really nice note, Evelina. I love to know when a Scanner first finds out there’s nothing wrong with her or him.

     Re my workshops: they’re in English (that’s the only language in which I can say more than two sentences), and an interpreter puts them into German for those in the audience who aren’t fluent in English. I’m sorry to hear all the info is in German. I didn’t know that. But copy and paste it into google translator – that’s what I do. The Translations are usually pretty weird but you can figure them out usually. (If not, head over to Bing translator and try again.)

     I usually go to towns where I’ve been invited. If there’s an organization in London or Dublin that you can recommend, a place that brings in speakers like me, let me know and I’ll contact them.

     Glad to have you on board. Welcome, Evalina.

     • thank you so much, for reply 🙂 i started rereading your book today for not sure which time… my head is going all directions, need to get it sorted 🙂 i know some people who invites lectors like yourself, need to speak to some friends, and maybe together make a new project – Bring Barbara to Dublin! wow that would be exiting! I am lithuanian myself, have you met any lithuanian scanners? was so glad your book was translated into lithuanian 🙂

       • Labas Evelina, malonu susipazinti su jumis! My grandmother and grandfather were both from Lithuania (a long time ago they came to the US), and I love to visit LT, especially Vilnius. I joined Hanging Out a week ago and noticed your post about how you were Lithuanian. I have been reading Barbara Sher’s books for many years and her encouragement has saved me a lot of frustration when I realized I am a scanner. I have always had “too many” interests but have come to appreciate that about myself.
         Ata,
         Marina

         • G’day Marina
           I also have many interests and I have found the ideal book to help. It is called “The Renaissance Soul”. It teaches how to balance your many interests. The website is: http://www.renaissancesouls.com

           Cheers
           Danni (in Australia)

         • Yes, I know that book, Danni. It’s very helpful. It was written by someone who had been to my Scanner workshops and loves the concept. Her book came out shortly after my book on this subject (which I happen to think is the *ideal* book on the subject, but to each her own 🙂 ) Refuse to Choose, (The title of my book in Australia is, What Do I Do When I Want To Do Everything?)

         • Helllo Marina, nice to meet you, yes I know there are a lot Lithuanian encestors in USA, even my own so so many… all of my greatgrandfather siblings left for USA in late 1890… but he didnt for what ever reason, so I was born in Lithuania 🙂 and glad. you should definetely visit Vilnius and other places, you will enjoy it 🙂

         • I agree with Barbara about that other book… I even compared the dates, when I found out about the other book, dont really like copycats… Barbara you discovered us, and there for I will be forever gratefull 🙂

         • G’day Barbara
           i hadn’t heard of your book, although I do have ‘Wishcraft”. I just may take a look at it even though I have the other one.

           Cheers
           Danni

         • The two books are very different, (except for a couple of things borrowed from Wishcraft like Backwards Planning, and some other things, for which the author apologized not giving credits. It was a long time ago and I don’t remember the details now).

           Renaissance Soul is very helpful to its audience. It seems more involved with those who are trying to figure out how to move in the corporate world (at least, that’s my impression).

           It’s hard for me to define how Refuse to Choose is different. The best thing to do is go to amazon.com and read the reviews.

           In any case, you won’t find much overlap. If you’ve read Renaissance Soul, you’ll still find Refuse to Choose a completely different viewpoint with a different set of tools to help you.

       • Thanks, Evelina. I think I *did* discover you. In any event, I had never heard of this type of person anywhere in my reading. But I knew many of them, worked with them, and am one!

         So I mentioned people with multiple interests – and said they shouldn’t change! – as long ago as Wishcraft, which was published in 1979, and which was based on workshops I’d been running since 1976, when I had developed many of the exercises you find in Refuse To Choose.

         That’s because in the many years I was doing individual and group sessions as a lifestyle and career coach (before the word ‘coach’ was in common usage) I often worked with individuals who had ‘too many interests.’ I didn’t find that odd, since I’m one of those people myself, and I worked with them in whatever way they needed, just as I did with everyone. I did notice that they were often told there was something wrong with them, and it was an early mission of mine to make them realize that this was not the case at all. Far from it! They’re usually multi-talented, and often have high IQs. (When Refuse To Choose was almost ready to send to the publisher, I discovered on the Internet, the literature about Gifted Adults, and was quite surprised to see how many characteristics they had in common with Scanners.)

         I was often told that I should create workshops and books specifically for Scanners by friends and family more than once, and planned to do it when I had time. 🙂 (Of course, Scanners never have time.)

         I came up with the name ‘Scanners’ when I was writing “I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was,” in 1993 and 1994, and devoted a whole chapter to them. (I called them ‘Scanners’ to oppose them to ‘Divers,’ people who were very single-minded.)

         That chapter had such a huge response that I started running Scanner workshops all over the U.S. and after writing two more books (Live the Life You Love and It’s Only Too Late if You Don’t Start Now) I was persuaded (by persistant Scanners and publishers) to write Refuse to Choose and started interviewing Scanners in 2003 and 2004. Refuse to Choose was first published in 2005.

         • Thanks Barbara for the “back story” on your Scanners work (In spite of any obstacles you continue to get back up and crank stuff out — how do you do it?); Thanks Danni for the support; and thanks Evelina for the note, I have fun projects planned for Lithuanian-Americans and travelers. Well, after I’ve set up quarterly projects!

         • Forgive my ignorance but what’s a scanner?
           ” It’s Only Too Late if You Don’t Start Now” I always find this quote encouraging because I turned 60 this year and for the first time in my life I finally have the opportunity to live a life of my choosing. Your book ‘Wishcraft’ opened my eyes to a lot of what kept me imprisoned. I am sure that your book ‘Refuse to Choose’ will help even more, however I can only afford to buy books one at a time (which is bad for someone addicted to books lol) so it will have to wait a little while.

         • Get it used at abebooks.com If you have the time to read, grab it.

         • Do you think that ‘Refuse to Choose’ can apply to such things as a persons sleep patterns as well? My doctor kept at me to establish a ‘correct’ sleep pattern of 8 hours a night but I think it is making me more tired. If I let my body dictate, after 3 days of ‘normal’ sleep I am simply not tired the fourth night and end up being up all night. I mostly follow my doctors advice but where sleep is concerned I just can’t do what is considered normal. I have always burnt the candle at both ends and feel more invigorated for it. If I’m tire just 30-60 minutes down time can keep me going for another 12 hours.

7. Hi Barbara,
   I am 19 and I think that I put myself in the most complicated career situation. I know I need help from someone and I have a feeling that you could be the one to help me.

   I f you are interested,, please contact me ASAP.

8. Hi Barbara,
   I’ve discovered your books and love them. I’m wondering if you still do any individual career counseling? I am a 21st century textbook case! In my late 20s I left grad school (initial career desire–academia) and parlayed my skills into a very successful career in user experience design on the web. It is in demand, I have built a great network, pays well, and…well…after over a decade of blood, sweat and tears in a series of high pressure, demanding jobs where I have gained weight, gotten depressed and get sick every few months, I am thoroughly burned out. I got laid off last year, did some freelance work for awhile, but the prospect of going back to what I did before makes me want to punch myself in the face. I have interest in about 50 other jobs, none of which I’m qualified for, but the thought of starting over is overwhelming. I can’t pinpoint one thing and abandoning a successful career seems like lunacy. You seem to know great ways to get people to reframe their dilemmas and are so insightful. I need help!

   Best,
   Jennifer

9. Hi Barbara, I’m a club member and a Hanging Out member too. I received an email from you recently about a workshop in France and I deleted it accidentally. How can I get that information again?
   Thank you,
   Jennifer

   • Hi Jennifer

     That would have been about the Scanner Retreat in France, May 17-22. There’s only one space left (I think – haven’t gone through my latest emails). I’ll put the whole thing up here for you, just for your information:
     ……………………………………………………………..
     Here are the details of the Scanner Retreat you requested:

     It takes place in France, at a restored medieval 3 star inn in a lovely village in the rolling hills of the countryside north of the Pyrenees. http://www.ancienne-auberge.com/ We start at around 6pm Friday evening, May 17, and say goodbye after breakfast on Wednesday morning, May 22.

     The retreat is limited to 10 people, and the cost, $3000, includes your shared room (or small additional supplement for a single) and 2 gourmet meals each day. This fee does not include travel to Toulouse or shared taxi to the village and back at the end of the retreat.

     The retreat begins on a Friday evening, before, during and after dinner, to allow for late arrivals. We meet in the morning and afternoon for 3-hr sessions on Saturday and Sunday, with leisurely breaks in between sessions. Monday is a free day to tour the area or read and sleep all day or just walk the country roads. I often have an informal session that evening after dinner. On Tuesday we have two more 3-hour sessions and usually hang out together in the bistro by the fireplace, tying up loose ends for those who must leave early in the morning. We say goodbye after breakfast on Wednesday.

     What do we do there? We find out what you want, and we work on how you can get it. In between those two points, everything is tailored to the individual. There’s usually lots of work on Resistance (you already know that none of it includes Positive Thinking). Attention is paid to any and all Scanner issues as they come up. Not everyone at a retreat is a Scanner, so we’ll take any direction that seems best. While a few exercises are planned in advance, every retreat seems to be completely different from every other in theme.

     Just about everyone loves retreats. In the last two days I’ve received a number of inquiries from graduates of earlier retreats. That’s been a very pleasant surprise. Still, the remaining spaces will soon be gone so I hope you’ll contact me if you’re sure you want to be there. There are only **8 spaces left at this time. I’ll hold your space with a 50% deposit at http://www.paypal.com and sent to my email address: bsherny@earthlink.net

     That’s all I can think of. Let me know if you have any further questions.

     Best regards,

     Barbara

     PS: **As of 9am ET in the U.S., January 11, 2013, there’s only 1 space left.

10. I think you should call the ‘Resistance’ book, ‘Resist-dance’.
    Because my resistance to doing the small first steps for a project I want to do,actually becomes like a dance.

    • lol. I got a picture of you stepping in big footprints that were painted on your floor (like they used to do as a way to teach dance steps) around your workspace. And that’s a great name: you can learn the Fox Trot, the waltz, or the Resist-Dance!

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