Idea Party


How Does the Online Idea Party Work?

You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)

The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.

Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:

Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital

I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store

Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!

And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.

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2,317 thoughts on “Idea Party

  1. I am an amazing artist,with all the available academic fin arts education, in addition bodytherapist, dancer, teacher, lecturer, coach, healer and curator. IU do exactly what I want. My obstacle just is, that I do not earn enough money with even one of the skills and beloved actions. Sometimes I “go back” and teach at highschool art in order to survive, but I hate it. I am also sure, that my art will be ebtter understood in the US. How can I be also financiual successful and free an move or work in the US? Who could connect me with “art-people there?”

    • Hi There

      I am taking Alexis Fedor’s Business course for the same reason. Maybe thats for you. Tell her I recommended her if you want. She also has some podcasts on Youtube you can check out if thats for you

      Helena <3

  2. I have a game project to share with my adult human family to help us learn to listen, to see, to feel, and to share… with respect, gratitude, playfulness and generosity. I need a warehouse with electricity and water to work (and and maybe live in… thereby saving time and resources) so I can complete the work. Preferably in a natural organic environment. (not in a city) near Grants Pass Oregon would be cool, but not a must. I am guessing this will take approximately a year I have the whole project laid out in zones to accomplish the work in an orderly and timely manner. I am a graphic designer, a writer, a photographer, an artist and an adult child who still loves to laugh and play. So I have a game to share that is fun and beneficial to all of us. Whats holding me back? Rent free because I will be spending all my time and overtime working on this project so I won’t have time to earn a wage.

    • Gratefuldeb, it would be wonderful if someone were to hand you the warehouse and electricity and water and housing so you can spend a year creating your business to see if it will succeed, but waiting for that seems like a way to keep your dream at bay and indefinitely postpone living a life you love.

      Could you do a small version in a retail space that’s only being used seasonally now? That would tell you more about what works and how to promote it while paying your bills.

      Could you find a few tenants to join you in your warehouse, giving them just a one-year lease or getting a big enough place to invite vendors who complement your plans and would want to stay around? Their payments to you can help pay for the warehouse and help begin drawing people to the location regularly.

      Could you run a different business on a shoestring for the same audience as your big plans, so you’ll have income now and eager, paying customers as soon as you open? Photography classes? Art classes? Hiking guide in that natural organic environment? Leader of playful events at other peoples’ spas? Designer of playful bedrooms and entertainment rooms for adults?

      Could you give yourself two years to open and work half time to rent a room in someone’s home?

      • Hi, all –

        I can’t fund an entire venture, but I write pretty good references, and I know people in more than one area of the country who’re closer to Oregon – and I’d certainly pay fees for a photography mentor who wouldn’t make me feel stupid for asking what might be basic questions (especially since I shot a book cover – and got paid for it – using a camera that wasn’t full-frame) or just shrug and tell me to buy another lens for $10,ooo and not even tell me what problems I might run into trying to use it with my camera. (And I know I’m not the only photographer / photography student who thinks that.)

        Apologies also to Patty for not sharing about the book cover in our reading group – the release party for the book is coming up and I’m trying to prepare for that at the same time as I’m doing my best to keep up with a column in a national environment where the news never stops breaking and related extended family issues really do never stop happening (if you were raised in a small town, sometimes there are people who think the intrusive ICE & CBP nightmare “can never happen here”, but Sinclair Lewis really did tell us a long time ago #ItCanHappenHere (though I’m also fairly fully aware not everybody actually went to history class).
        I did actually post a photo of the cardstock announcement that the book cover’s on in, I think, the Scanners & Renaissance Souls space, but I know that’s a closed group.

        (Patty – I also just wished Happy Birthday to a friend who’s a professor at your alma mater. I remember your notice that you were going to send an email out to those of us who hadn’t been systematically participating in group; I’ll send a note.)

  3. Hi everyone

    My wish is to fly first class to London stay in a nice hotel for 10 days, have some spending money then fly home. Currently I am broke, living with my parents again which includes a very negative mother and I just want a break from all the hurt and heartache I have put up with in the last few years. I haven’t been on holidays in forever and I just want a chance to breath again. I have always wanted to go to London and I could really use the break now.

    Thank-you for any suggestions.


    • Sia,

      This is an interesting and heartfelt wish, I can tell. You have taken the first step by writing it down and it sounds like getting past that first step may be hard for you right now given your current situation. It sounds like you are stuck and needing a break? I think there are two, maybe three things you can do to get past the original wish based on your need for a break, and to make your London wish happen:

      1) Can you start a wishing journal and re-write your wish in only positive terms? it sounds silly, but putting positive energy into the desire can be very powerful. Write the wish down as if it has already happened and start with something like “I am so grateful and thankful NOW that I am in London, taking a break and enjoying…………..” The present tense is important because you want to hardwire your brain to believe this is already happening. Try to visualize how your wish feels and smells and tastes and sounds, etc, and put all of those details in your description after the “I’m thankful” part. Make it as long and complete as necessary. Then your brain can start working on making it true even when you’re not thinking about it!

      I could write an entire book about how this formula really works. I do it whenever I really want something and it has ALWAYS worked; down to the finest detail. One time I was envisioning where I would live next and I included, “There will be family living nearby that I can hang out with”, even though that seemed very very impossible given where my parents and children lived. What I discovered after moving here was that I had a whole part of our extended family tree that lived within 60 miles!!! Including children, which was another detail I had specified: “There will be grandkids who visit and we hang out and do fun stuff together.” The crazy thing is that there are children in my extended family who visit and call me Grandma even though I am an auntie about 4 times removed!

      2) Along the wishing journal lines, read a book called, “Write it Down, Make it Happen” and implement anything that makes sense from the book. You will find that the simple steps in the book will increase your ability to get to your final wish. It’s out of print, but easy to find on Amazon and the used copies are really cheap.

      3) If we read between the lines, there is more going on than you just needing a break. I think I hear from your wish that you are having difficulties in life right now, being in a situation that isn’t necessarily healthy for you. It might be a good exercise to take a break for an hour or two and be really honest with yourself and try to find a few, more deeply hidden, wishes. If you look more deeply at what is bothering you, you might find that the wish you truly desire is to get away from the negativity always. Or to get a cool, new job. Or even for a few hours each day without another person? I also hear that just taking a deep breath would be good? I’m stretching here because you are the only one who knows those hidden desires. The better you are at finding those hidden desires, the easier it is for your brain to help you reach your dreams.

      It sounds like this is a bump in the road for you and you’ll be right back on track soon, and I’m envisioning you on a plane in first class taking a trip to London!

      Warm regards,

  4. Hi all!

    I have been struggling for years to do my dream job. I have studied many things (have 3 MA degrees and finishing a PhD), but they are all only semi-related.

    What I truly want is to start working in policy research/investigative journalism on economic issues (or assistance with research for documentaries)/any sort of research that deals with inequality. I would say I have the backgroud for it, and I certainly have the passion. I’ve got so much passion it’s burning me with the wish to roll up my sleeves and go.

    My obstacle (list) is the following:
    – I cannot seem to find a job that would give me a chance, even as a junior researcher.
    – I do have some minor research experience within academia, and altogether about a year of interning, but that never seems to be enough. (I am frustrated because if I had gotten the 1st researching job I applied to, I would have had 7+ years of experience by now)
    – Because I have had to work, I have been accepting odd jobs here and there, and have gotten quite high up the ladder in campaigning. Because of this, EVERY single research job I have applied to in the last year recommended me to wait and apply for a campaigning position instead when it opens up. I can’t emphasize enough that I do not want to continue with a career as a campaign coordinator/manager.
    – I usually get quite far in the interview process, but never get the offer. Twice I was among the last 3 candidates of 2000+. Still no job.
    – I am based in the EU, so US employers won’t take me, not even for the remote positions. (There are very few starting positions available in the EU) I am willing to relocate to almost anywhere in the world to be able to do this (I speak 4 languages fluently, additional 5 passively), but it doesn’t help me much.

    I am 32 and I am starting to question every decision I have ever made. I know I am wildly successful at nearly everything I do, but the problem is I never get the chance to do what I truly want to do and contribute to the society how I always imagined I would.

    I really appreciate all of you being here and reading this. If there are any ideas out there to help me get on the right track, please feel free to share.
    Thank you!

    • I’m sorry I’m not familiar with your field so I can’t address it specifically, but I do wonder a couple things:
      1) In the cases where you were in the final round of picks, did you get feedback on what eliminated you from that final selection? If you did not, were any of them recent enough that you’d be comfortable asking for feedback?
      2) It sounds, based on what you have explained, that you are past the internship stage technically, but ARE there any ways to do pro bono work that would give you some additional experience?
      3) How different in skillset is what you do now as opposed to what you want to do? You mentioned that when people see your resume, they only look at the campaign stuff. I’m sure part of that is the unfortunate tunnel vision we all tend to have when reviewing resumes, but even though you have to list your campaign experience as that is the primary experience, is there a way to emphasis in a different manner the skills relevant to what you want to do?
      4) I’m not familiar with what types of companies would have positions for the type of work you want to do. But apart from the actual job hunting, are there ways for you to network in this field to establish relationships?

      Sorry. No answers, only more questions. But maybe they’ll trigger something for you.

      • Dear Brenda,

        thank you so much for taking the time and not only reading through my struggle, but also thinking about it and responding! I am truly humbled by the experience.

        1. Yes, the feedback is simple – that they liked me, but liked another person slightly more for the position. (My whole life I have always taken the silver medal, or so it seems : )). Twice the feedback came with the recommendation that I apply for the jobs in the future where I can do campaigning instead. One of these carried an instant offer for a campaigning position – I declined.

        2. I am doing things here and there, as much as my time allows me, but the problem with the nature of this work is that the tasks are usually quite profound – not really somehting you do on the side, but it takes weeks or months to execute. Alas, I cannot afford a full time (unpaid) internship at this point.

        3. I think my skillset it suitable for a junior position. I am starting to think I should simply erase all the other stuff, just so that I won’t appear over qualified and get recommendations to do work I do not enjoy. (A side note: I do excel at it, though. I simply cannot do something half way)

        4. I am trying to network as best as I can, and I do believe I actually have a substantial network. For some reason, it doesn’t seem to be working for me.

        I hope this gives a bit more background. Thank you again so much! I am not lost, I am just searching for a line of transport to get to my goal!

        • UGH! Resume reviewer tunnel vision is soooo frustrating! I have no new suggestions but I concur with re-doing/eliminating some of your resume content to give yourself a better shot and help get people focused on where YOU want to go, not want they want to slot you in. Somewhere out there is a hiring manager who knows how to think outside the box, but they can be hard to find.

        • Aralara,

          This is another Brenda, but I happened to be on here, answering another question, and caught something in your answer above:

          Have you thought about trying to find two interim steps, paid positions both, to get from Point A to Point D? In other words, you want to get to D, but there’s not a direct link from A. You can find two intermediate steps, C and D, no matter who you are and what you currently do, and what you want to do.

          For example, let’s say I’m an airplane pilot “A”, but I really want to be an environmental activist “D”, and no-one will hire me because I’m an airplane pilot. I picked the pilot to illustrate that you, aralara, are super skilled already just not exactly in the field you want to be in. But those skills can be used to leverage you into the next step and then the next and then you’ll be where you want to be.

          Draw four boxes in a row, left to right, fill the left one in with what you do now, your title, and all of your many current skills. Then fill the fourth box with where you ultimately want to be, including the title, what that position entails and what your skills would be, there in that fourth box.

          Then become the airline pilot and fill in your second “B” box. Only do it with your skillset and your interim ideas, rather than the pilot. The pilot’s second box would be something like flying for someone who is not a typical commercial operation. Maybe it’s an NGO doing medical missions, or maybe an environmental company doing mapping of loss of rain forest. The trick is to find something not far from your current job but enough of a stretch that it will be educational and you will gain more skills.

          Now fill in your third “C” box with your next step, something that will take you further from being a pilot and closer to an environmental activist. Maybe it’s a new and different NGO and now you’re doing mapping only for their environmental research project. Maybe it’s your same NGO and they’ve seen your keen interest and have added to your job title to include some environmental research, etc. Maybe it’s the medical mission and you are their new liaison in an environmentally impacted country. It’s hard to define, but you get my drift.

          The step from the third box to the fourth can happen at any time as long as you keep that fourth box in mind whenever you make a career decision. In other words, “Does this new position serve my desire to be in Box “D”?”, etc

          Which brings me to your answer above and what caught my eye: You might be a heck of a good campaigner and it may only take you a short time in the campaigning job for your employer to start adding to your job description to keep you. And pretty soon you may be doing more research than campaigning. And you just might find out you like campaigning more than you originally thought. Someone in the job world thought you’d be great at it. You can use that fact to leverage a higher starting salary as a campaigner so when they add researching to your list of duties they have to give you a raise!

          I hope this helps. The four boxes is not my original idea, I think it came from the “What color is your parachute” books. But, I used the four boxes to make a life-changing career switch from owning a land surveying company and being a land surveyor, to being a general manager for an international renewable energy company. The four boxes took me 8 years to complete so this is not an earth shattering, quick-fix solution and it takes some courage to keep switching jobs even when they are secure, but it does work.

          My 4 boxes were:
          A) Land surveyor, owns the business.
          B) Land surveyor for oil and gas (blech). Don’t own the business. This was still heavy in land surveying, but now at least I was working in the energy industry.
          C) Project manager for oil and gas (still blech). Now very light duties in land surveying, mostly the expert stuff, and much heavier in energy and all things energy related. (I also wore the hat of permitting manager as an additional duty.)
          D) General Manager in renewable energy. (My goal was anything in renewables and I hit the jackpot by continually adding to my skillset each step of the way. Every skill I have developed is useful in my current role.)

          You also mentioned that you’ve considered deleting from your resume. That is often a great idea. Fix your resume to fit the job, never the other way around. Recruiters are looking for a distinct skillset, so make your resume almost exactly fit the job description. And delete the other stuff that is in no way related to the new job. If I was the pilot after that last final job, I might include it as a hobby. It’s hard to delete skills from your resume because they were hard-won! But it’s a smart move if you want to get hired.

          Keep us posted! And if you do the 4 boxes, share them and we can help you reach the next box.

          Warm regards and good luck,

          • Hi Brenda,

            thank you so much for your elaborate advice! Sorry to be getting back to you rather late, but I have not really been following this board the past few weeks.

            In my case, this does not necessarily apply, because I have been doing exactly that my whole life. I literally only need a job to do it. My previous jobs I accepted exactly because I felt they are going to bring me a step closer to the goal. I gained valuable (in my case research) skills as a campaigner and even on the job I often heard that there is a lack of people who understand both sides of the stoty so that would be a huge advantage of mine.

            All in all, I just need to get a job in researching. I know how to do it, I know what it is used for (hence, what the purpose of a good research should be) and how to disseminate it to different audiences.

            But still, I find your advice incredibly helpful and I am convinced you just helped someone tremendoudly.

            All the best to you too!

    • Hsve you tbought anout listing your research services on Get projects, boost your experience and who knows you may stay a freelance researcher!

      • Dear Marianne,

        thank you for reading and for your piece of advice. I have thought about freelancing like that, but in the line of work I would like to be doing, I was advised against that. I would like to secure experience at government agencies or NGOs so that I could eventually transfer into the UN bodies. I hope this makes sense.

        Thank you for thinking about solutions though, I really appreciate it!

    • Have you googled: online, freelance, remote research jobs, you will find many freelance platforms? Eg on one job on income inequality is posted or Hope this helps!

    • Hi Aralara

      I worked in policy and research for 10 years in a well respected research institute and also helped with recruitment from time to time. My grab bag of suggestions below might be super annoying to someone as already busy and super well qualified as you, but I will share them anyway on the off chance they help spark an idea or inspire you in some way. I really feel for you because I know it’s frustrating to feel like the thing you long to work on is just out of reach.

      * You are still YOUNG!!!! Don’t give up hope. I just did a major career change at age 39 so you have plenty of time to get into this ‘next’ career for you. Find examples of other people who have made career changes/ shifts and stop believing that its not possible.

      * Overall if you want to get into RESEARCH plus ECONOMICS then that is what you absolutely must emphasise in your CV. Tailor everything to highlight research skills, and economics relevance and knowledge.

      * Tell a clear story about the change in direction – if you are making a shift acknowledge it and say why you want to apply your skills to a new area within the social services field. I have seen so many research scientists /technical engineers apply for research and policy roles without saying up front in their application ‘This is a change in direction for me but I am passionate about applying my skills (to issue X)’ – so we end up wondering if they just don’t realise their experience doesn’t match the job, or whether they are just desperate for a new job and applying for everything they see.

      * Do or help with research where you are now as part of your existing role, if at all possible. See if you can commission and get involved in research as part of your campaign role. e.g. who is evaluating the effectiveness of the campaign efforts? Could you get involved in the design or implementation of research like that in your organisation? Or what measures is your current organisation using to assess outputs vs impacts? Can you help out the person who does the annual reporting and looks after KPIs, and do some background research into the economics metrics being used and compare them to best practice in your field?? Sometimes it is easier to help out on an internal project as a staff member in your organisation (where people already know, trust and respect your work) than to get a separate part time volunteering to to gain new skills or experience.

      * Can you write some short research based articles for a magazine / blog/ newsletter? A summary of current issues in topic X, or recent trends in topic Y? Publications about economics and based on research will be helpful. AND they are little mini research projects that you can initiate and use to grow your experience without needing someone else to hire you. See if you can find topics that are also relevant to your current role, they wont hurt at performance review time.

      * Contact the New Economics Foundation and see if you can volunteer on one of their projects ( – but make sure you’re across what they work on first so you can talk their talk

      * Inner stuff – you may be wildly successful at everything you do now but sometimes it is easier to be successful at the things we don’t care about so much. If policy / research is your big dream, there might be fear sitting there as well. If you haven’t already dig around to figure out what working in research and policy ‘means’ to you – there might be fear of standing out, fear of outstripping your parents, fear of disrupting the family pattern, fear of success, fear of failure… see what old messages might be playing inside your head that makes this seem unattainable. (ignore by all means if you feel this doesn’t apply).

      * Tell your closest friends and colleagues that you are looking to make a shift in the next few years towards more research work and have them keep their eyes open for you.

      *Start doing it! Whether you can find the perfect full time job in it or not!! Maybe for now your campaign job can be your ‘good enough job’ (and maybe you scale back from 110% standards to just 80-90% in the role so you have some spare energy for a side hustle), and it just pays you too live while you start pursuing some projects you are passionate about. Even helping with ONE juicy project in the area you want to work will make you so much more employable in this area, not least because you will SHINE when you are doing what you love. And that will come across in interviews and applications. Could you:
      – advertise on documentary Facebook groups that you are available to do 20 hours of research for someone?
      – Go to meetup groups of documentary makers and when you find a person or project that fascinates you offer to help out?
      – Go to economics and disadvantage themed forums or seminars and write about key emerging issues, for relevant newsletters or journals in the field?
      – Offer to do 1 day a month research on an ongoing basis for a local charity that works on issues you care about, and do it on a saturday / take an annual leave day to do it?
      – find great investigative articles you love and tweet the authors to thanks and connect with them

      Immerse yourself in what you love whether you can get a full time job in it right away our not. The experience and learning you gain by doing this will be immense, and your passion will be super attractive to future employers.

      Best of luck! You can do it!

      • Dear jade,

        thank you so much for your in depth perspective and tips! I really appreciate all of it!

        While I have been busy with a lot of what you suggest, there are also some fresh ideas there that sound amazingly helpful.

        Best of luck to you, too and I hope your career shift is your next big thing!

  5. My BIG dream: get a piece of land in the area of Berlin and an autonomous house (get, renovate or build it, with local, natural materials) and be able to distribute organic seeds and food to as much people as possible in the next decades. If I get free from paying a rent, after some time, I´ll be able to provide for my family´s needs and others, so, I can keep doing my job as a therapist, independently of how much people can pay. I want to organize events at my home when I want, like a free university, to give my knowledge further on self sufficiency, on sharing as a way to live, and on all the knowledge I gathered and want to spread. And this, again, independently of the usual costs.
    So, the big idea is getting a place for permaculture and living, and distribute seeds and food, sharing knowledge and offering counseling, therapy, attention and support on donation basis.
    I dream I can have my parents at home when they´re old (if they want) and be able to have also my brother and sister living with us when they get to tired for the hamster wheel. I want us to have a home and be able to live normally.
    I´m SO ready for that! That´s how I want to live! I just need the basis: the land and the house.
    My BIG obstacles: I can´t pay a rent every month and buy a piece of land and house. It´s just unaffordable here. We have attachments here (husband´s job, Kids school, communities).

  6. My wish is to write satirically humorous stories and essays about our world today. But money-enough to stay alive has become extremely difficult. My primary wish now is to have a job in the Northwest, preferably Montana, as soon as possible so that I can fund my life, and Write stories. I put my wish of Writing stories on this site two years ago. The dream stays mostly on the back burner because finding work has taken most of my time. I have done handyman carpentry, electrical, etc. for years, including maintenance at motels, but I’m open to other pursuits.
    Any ideas will be appreciated.

    • I’m not sure what part of Montana you are focused on but places like the areas around Glacier National National Park have heavy tourist seasons in summer (Kalispell, etc.). I just recently read that Glacier gets a MILLION visitors a month in the summer. Might this be a way to get a foot in the door?

      With regard to writing–if Montana is your destination, are there pieces (satirical or otherwise) that you can write and submit to Montana specific entities for publication? It may not be a living wage but it’s a way to both jump start your writing and begin getting your foot in the door of the place you want to live.

      Is there more than one interest you can combine with writing that might also generate some extra income? Photography, art, etc?

    • Hey Mark,

      Here are some suggestions I had. Start a blog and write the kind of articles that you want to write. This will keep your writing going while you do your other paying jobs. Then when you submit to companies looking for writing opportunities, you can send them to your blog to see your “writing samples”.

      Here is a list of publishers that pay for humor writing:

      Good luck!

  7. I guess my obstacle is a lack of self confidence but more so a very terrific violinist I stuidied with who would make me practice three octave scales through our entire hour and 15 minute time if I didn’t nail them perfectly. It felt cruel and mean. Had a started out and he said this was his requirement I wouldn’t have cared and just wouldn’t have studied with him to start. As much as I get onto it again I don’t feel the will to practice. I worked hard, I work 50 hours a week and would carbe out 15 hours to practice and wake up at 4:30 to warm up for lessons. I need to let go and find a better coach. I can be my own coach if I have a group. To play the violin well is one of my dreams. And sing and share with others.

    • Marian, your description of the nightmare practice sessions instantly reminded me of a horrid math teacher who made you handwrite the multiplication tables hundreds of times if you missed even one problem. That method may work for SOME students, but it just scarred me for life. I couldn’t fire him, because he was an inflexible public school teacher, but you have options with the violin instructor.

      I concur with Necie–if you feel you can, talk with the instructor, share that his approach doesn’t work for you. If you are not comfortable with that, find another coach if possible.

      You’ve stated your main obstacle is self-confidence, but it also sounds like you are driving yourself hard with work hours and practice hours? You need to work. You need to practice. But might you be lacking in a bit of re-charge time? I don’t know if musicians see music as a form of creativity–I would–and creativity needs some free-flow time as well as structure and regimen.

      Finally, I know I find in-person music lessons work better, but might there be online learning resources to tide you over until you establish with a teacher who is a good fit for you?

  8. I want to get down to playing the violin and singing again without all this fear, and drawing and learning to throw some pots.

    • How about doing the following.

      A. If the coach is no longer meeting your needs fire him and find someone else.
      B. Talk to the coach and share your concerns or simply cut all ties and more forward. This is your life and career and take control of the reigns.
      C. Record yourself playing as often as needed using your phone,
      and or tablet. Challenge yourself lovingly each day and set small goals.

      Greatness is in you. Don’t allow this negative experience to keep you from achieving your goal.

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