Barbara Sher’s Idea Party

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How Does the Online Idea Party Work?

You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)

The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.

Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:

Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital

I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store

Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!

And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.

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4,260 thoughts on “Barbara Sher’s Idea Party

  1. I’m struggling with places to post my unique hand-made items for sale online. I have looked at FB Marketplace, Etsy, and Instagram. Are there any others? How do I make a positive choice? I am wanting to sell one-of-a-kind live edge epoxy tables and micro-crochet earrings and pendants. Also I am interested in suggestions on how to price these items so they will sell and cover my costs and time investment. Thanks so much for your help!

    • There are numerous Facebook groups you can join to check out their pricing.

      There are numerous marketplaces such as Shopify, Zazzle, Amazon, Ebay and Zalondo. You can even have your own Facebook store and sale on Instagram.

      Check out Etsy and Zazzle marketplace to see what others are charging for similar goods.

  2. I wish for a new job that aligns either with my temperament or my talents (artistic) or both, and that doesn’t impose upon my health freedom.

    • I’d like to add…
      Obstacle: I don’t feel advanced enough to create the job I want. All I know is that I want my independence, own business.

      My talents are:
      photography (amateur)
      basic graphic design
      painting (learning watercolor right now and love it but not practicing enough)
      admin and organizational skills (this has paid the bills for decades)
      intuitive abilities and a deep connection to animals (studying now animal communication).

      • Dear Deborah,
        Thanks for sharing your whish and your talents. These are great talents and abilities that perfectly fit together! I have a few ideas that might help you::
        – there is a fb group of female photographers called “sheClicks”. Here you can get inspiration and advice to share and improve your photography skills and get connections to other photographers (https://www.facebook.com/groups/sheclicksnet/permalink/1204061283450231/). In this group last year a woman shared some cute photos of animals she made for an animal shelter as christmas cards to help them get the pets adopted. So this is one idea: to cooperate with animal shelters or other animal related organisations to present their animals in a very esthetic way and you can use all your talents and interests. (Or may be your local zoo might be interested having you making postcards or other items with photos or paintings of their animals to sell in their tourist shop)
        – you could also offer your skills as photographer or as painter for pet holders to portrait their beloved pets. I am sure, that there are many pet lovers who would very much like to have a portrait of their animal (or themselves together with their pet) and would also like to pay for it (think of all these english portraits of horses… – think big! There are way more animals to portrait than just cats and dogs, Farmers could whish to have a portrait of their beloved cow, in the Arab Emirates people love falcons, camels and even hold lions , tigers, panthers in their homes (and they will pay you very well when you are good and present yourself in an approriate way)
        – you can sell your paintings and photographs by yourself online (and think of all the related items like cups or t shirts or bed linen… – you will be astonished what pet lovers are willing to pay for) Make a Website for all your different offerings and look what works
        Be confident! You are enough. Your deep intuitive connection with animals is your greatest asset. You can make yourself an outstanding expert in animal painting / photography.. Your skills will improve by doing it.

        • Deborah,
          When I was taking courses in canine hydrotherapy, we were given the option of hiring a local photographer to take pics of us and the dogs in the water. This gave us the opportunity to have pictures for our websites and brochures when ready to start our services! Animal massage schools might also be interested. Where are you located? Best of luck!

        • Wow your words are so inspiring and even make sense to my doubtful mind. I’m not sure how to put all of that together but will let the soup simmer. Thank you!

          • Deborah,
            You are not going to believe this, but one of the courses I took was on Vancouver Island, and a photographer was not available during that course. I am hoping the Greyfriar’s school comes back there this coming August, and if you are interested in taking pics of us in the water working with dogs, I could contact them for you!! Best of luck!!!!

      • If you can resist the urge to leap from one career to another, if you can just take small steps in the direction of whatever pleases you, you can join the many, many people who found their surprising routes to a business they love without ever risking living in their car or being forced to take a toxic job just to stay alive.

    • Hi, Amaka,
      I also want to know, what is the obstacle? (or obstacles?)
      I don’t know where you’re living. In other countries, things might be way different. All I can speak to is about what little I know, and from here in the U.S.
      There are various ways of getting a book published. You can self-publish on line, and create an e-book. Or do print on demand, through Amazon. But, if you want the really best distribution, and want your book out there in major bookstores, you’ll need a publishing company, and therefore, an agent. Unless you plan to create your own small press and your own bookstore, as some very enterprising friends of mine did.
      I, too, have a book manuscript ready to go to press. And I am looking for an agent. Publishers won’t accept manuscripts directly, especially from unknown authors–at least not usually. I was on the editorial board of a major Northwest publisher that published outdoor books, and they did review and publish manuscripts from unknown authors, but this is a rare exception. So you’ll need an agent, whose job it is to sell your manuscript to a publisher. At least in the U.S., there’s the Guide to Literary Agents. This is published every year, and is available from major bookstores. In addition to having lots and lots of listings of literary agents, by subject and by what they’re interested in and willing to accept, you’ll find really important essays in there about the publishing process. These days, an agent is going to want to know what kind of mailing list you already have, and what kinds of social media platforms you already have–in short, how able are you to promote your own book. This can be intimidating for the beginning author. They didn’t publish an edition in 2021–I have no idea why. So if you can, get the 2022 edition, and go through it with a fine tooth comb, making lists of agents to approach. And then, you’ll have to be able to know how to write a good synopsis of your book, for the agent, and you’ll know how to pitch it to an agent. There are right and wrong ways to do this. As I say, this is all based on what little I know and is based on the U.S.

  3. Have a hard time finding a flexible job that allows me to work remotely in any country and successfully.
    Obstacle: not having enough skill and interest to learn a new computer skill

    • Hi TK,
      It sounds like you are maybe dealing in abstractions. I am a somatic coach and know, at least for myself and some clients, that visioning in the abstract is harder to really engage with and to get motivated into concrete action. The more palpable the vision, the greater the motivation to overcome obstacles.

      Perhaps the motivation would be more present if you actually started fleshing out the dream of where you’d live, what activities you’d be doing, as well as what kinds of jobs might be of interest/accessible with a little more training.

      LIFE VISIONING:
      1. To help you solidify the *feeling* of being connected to the vision. Help your body/mind get really jazzed about a specific vision.
      -perhaps you might consider creating a vision board of the kinds of places you like to live/travel…
      -or maybe even look up specific rentals in one of those areas that you’d love to live in!
      -Or create a budget of what it might cost to live somewhere you’re excited about so you know what kind of financial reality to create.

      2. Another exercise is to sit with a friend and have them ask you “what sounds like fun?” over and over and have them or you record it. You can also do this as a writing or mind mapping exercise.

      3. Do a “future now” visioning with yourself or out loud with a friend. Imagine you are on the other side of having secured a job, learned the skills and are living wherever the heck you want, sipping cocktails on the beach or hiking by a beautiful waterfall…or….whatever the dream is. Talk about what it looks like around you, where you are living, what it feels like in your body, what activities you are doing, what food you are eating, what the temperature and landscape are like. Talk about what it took for you to get here and what obstacles you overcame. Think about what advice you would give yourself 1 year(?) ago before you started on the process of making this a reality. Really get into the FEELING of being on the other side of making your dream come true so that you believe and can touch the reality of it.

      JOB VISIONING:
      Once you’re excited, then you might figuring out *exactly* what kind of jobs and computer skill would help make that possible (not just the general idea of needing to gain computer skills).

      Then dream up the most enjoyable way to learn the required skills…maybe take a class with some friends who are also looking to expand their skill set, or get a coach/friend to help with accountability, or give yourself rewards for learning something new? What worked for you in the past when you engaged with learning something that was challenging to motivate yourself for? How did you feel afterwards once you accomplished it? What was made possible in your life once you conquered the challenge?

      Info on creating a vision board
      https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/online-vision-board

      Here’s a list of specific jobs that can be done remotely, including some entry-level ones (just a place to start thinking on it)
      https://careersidekick.com/jobs-done-remotely/

      Job listings
      https://www.indeed.com/jobs?l=&q=Remote&forceLocation=0
      https://remote.co/remote-jobs/
      https://www.ziprecruiter.com/Jobs/Remote

      Here are some great places to look up free or inexpensive online courses of all types:
      http://www.Coursera.com
      https://www.udemy.com/

      Best wishes!
      Danya

  4. i have difficulty desiring something badly enough to fight over it. Or i never really allowed myself to love something or deserve something enough to fight for it. I really believe if i had one thing that i truly wanted i would fight to get it. I am not sure where i am disconnected here however there are things i like and desires :these are the list..and i do want to create other sources of income beyond massage therapy now.
    1-I am like a lab rat trying to make something out of natural products no chemicals
    2- I am uniquely skilled to heal bodies and know how minds work (maybe except my own ) and i love to heal minds
    3-I now love to observe pet and monkeys behave i am so humbles
    4-at the rate that i solve problems daily, i would probably be good solver
    5-I love beautiful things such as textile and clothing
    6-the only thing that interests me now that i am aware of as side hustles are:
    natural bread with proteins and or fruits and painting comfortable clothes
    7-the big dream is to create affordable multi apartment housing coops
    8-the big dream is a healing clinic near nature and animals and farm
    9-the big dream is to create new products out of discarded items/ upcycling
    10-the big dream is learn how to communicate to touch people and small talk…this really touches me right now ..i never had this as a child.
    and relearn how to heal from trauma and learn fast to sort mind out
    11-the big dream to live in costa rica or open minded culture/not oppressive and offer a treatment that is needed and not treated by doctors.
    12-find a way for dreamers to work with others and manifest

    • Hi Joanna,
      I wonder if trying to initiate something like this in isolation, or thinking you have to create it alone is partly at the source of staying stagnant in your creative process? I wonder if you are mostly just engaging in your own head (other than this post) and not in the physical world where opportunities are created. If you’re “out there” in the world engaging, the negative self talk/lack of self love, etc, is less relevant because you’re not waiting to feel a certain way to start taking action. And then the real world provides feedback that opens doors.

      I’m curious what would happen if you pick just one thing off the list to start (and removing any need for it to be “the thing” or for it to go anywhere in particular). Choose it by scanning the list with your finger and noticing when your body lights up with excitement.

      Then, I’d suggest looking online for people/organization that are ALREADY working on something like this and initiate a dialogue with one or two people/orgs. Let them know you are really interested in helping what they are working on….maybe in a paid or unpaid way, for now. Or just ask if they’d be willing to talk with you on the phone/zoom, or if they have any volunteer or job opportunities available.

      Separating engaging with this thing from the need for immediate compensation can also liberate you to follow your heart’s calling without so much restriction. Maybe it turns into a livelihood, maybe not. But you will almost definitely feel more alive just by getting into action in the meantime.

      Best wishes!

      Danya

      • I’ll add to that, I am hearing you that you feel disconnected, so maybe things don’t “light up with excitement”, but maybe there is just a tingle of something interesting in your body when you look at one of these more than others.

        Anyhow, the basic idea is to actually *skip over* the story and sensations of disconnection and take physical action and create connections with other humans on the specific things you’re interested in.

        I am a life coach, intuitive and Somatic Experiencing trauma expert. There are certainly lots of layers one can explore and heal to feel more alive, but sometimes getting into dialogue with others can jumpstart someone right through some of those heavy feelings and thoughts. The simplest, low-hanging action can get things in motion.

        I sometimes think about the Newton’s Law of Inertia:
        Objects at rest stay at rest, Objects in motion stay in motion, until something changes its motion. Things continue doing what they are doing unless a force is applied to it. … The more massive the object (more inertia) the harder it is to start or stop.

        Meaning once you get in motion, it is easier to stay in motion, to acceleration, change direction, etc. The exercise I mentioned is like a jumpstart to get the psychological and physiological engine in motion. 🙂

        • I wish I were able to edit my responses! I was just re-reading your post and thinking some of what I shared may land as mis-attuned. Anyhow, sorry for that. I’ll try to clarify here.

          I’m curious about the language you have used for needing to desire “something badly enough to fight for it.” I sense an implication that engaging with some of the things you are interested in require struggle and fight by necessity. Is that how it occurs to you?

          I wonder if there might be a gentler context/conceptual framework you could set up that might remove some of the barriers to exploring some of the things you mentioned…make it all more approachable.

          Maybe you don’t need to want anything that badly. Maybe all you need is a mild curiosity and willingness to do a Google search and write an email or have a conversation and see where it goes… or join a FB group of people with similar interests. Or go to an event or read a book related to the topic. Or….

          Maybe all that’s needed is to completely let go of the end result and just take a single step in that direction and see where it goes…just for the sake of being more engaged in life and getting into a new flow.

          You might even take steps on a number of the items on your list to get a few lines in the water.

          What would it be like if you just focused on what is an easy next thing to do…coming from a playful, exploratory energy? “Just follow your nose!” Let go of it needing to “go anywhere” or produce any particular outcome or to “be successful” at it.

          The energy of being in action/motion and engagement with other people can’t help but stimulate more movement and energy…the next steps will reveal themselves. Enthusiasm can build from there.

          I know for myself, I am much better at responding to opportunities than coming up with things I want to do out of thin air. I’m not all that ambitious and have a hard time getting myself motivated to do much outside of my private practice and relationship and few close friendships.

          But working from home, and especially not being too social the last two years, I don’t have much to respond to in my environment, and I get a little creatively dead. So…given that that is how I am (maybe you are, too), I have to get *just enough* motivation to ignite conversations with others, or offer something on social media, or… so that responses and opportunities to engage start showing up. And then I get energized and motivated to respond and the momentum continues from there.

          Anyhow, hopefully some of this is helpful and please disregard if not!

          Wishing you all the best!

  5. i have difficulty desiring something badly enough to fight over it. Or i never really allowed myself to love something or deserve something enough to fight for it. I really believe if i had one thing that i truly wanted i would fight to get it. I am not sure where i am disconnected here however there are things i like and desires :these are the list..and i do want to create other sources of income beyond massage therapy now.
    1-I am like a lab rat trying to make something out of natural products no chemicals
    2- I am uniquely skilled to heal bodies and know how minds work (maybe except my own ) and i love to heal minds
    3-I now love to observe pet and monkeys behave i am so humbles
    4-at the rate that i solve problems daily, i would probably be good solver
    5-I love beautiful things such as textile and clothing
    6-the only thing that interests me now that i am aware of as side hustles are:
    natural bread with proteins and or fruits and painting comfortable clothes
    7-the big dream is to create affordable multi apartment housing coops
    8-the big dream is a healing clinic near nature and animals and farm
    9-the big dream is to create new products out of discarded items/upcycling
    10-the big dream is learn how to communicate to touch people and small talk…this really touches me right now ..i never had this as a child.
    and relearn how to heal from trauma and learn fast to sort mind out
    11-the big dream to live in costa rica or open minded culture/not opressive and offer a treatment that is needed and not treated by doctors.
    12-find a way for dreamers to work with others and manifest

  6. my biggest dream is living on a horse ranch and make my money with writing. I have almost zero experience with horses and not written anything of interest yet. So my second biggest dream is getting into working with horses, but I am now in my 30s and have now idea how to enter this a bit intimidating scene. I doubt by cleaning stables I will progress to taking care of actual horses. I can understand people with precious horses do not want to let some rookie handle them. I have no idea how to get a foot in the door. After reading one of Barbara’s books, I even thought of applying to Cowboy college in the USA, but I’m from Europe and a woman, so I think my chances are pretty slim.

    • Find a woman in her 60s or 70s who boards or raises horses and offer help. You will almost certainly need to muck stalls and mend fences, but by helping someone else continue doing what she loves, you should find many, many opportunities to learn all that it takes to care for horses, ride them, and show them. My aunt had to let all her horses go a few years ago, when she could no longer do all the work herself to care for enough animals to pay her bills. She would have loved an assistant to take over instead.

    • Hi, what do you love most at the idea of living on a horse ranch?
      try “vacation on a farm” or “vacation against helping hand” to test how it feels.
      Go to riding tournaments and trade fairs to get in touch with people with horses, Check out Special interest blogs and journals.

      What is your obstacle to start writing?

      Love
      Astrid

    • Well, I don’t know how it is in Europe, but here in the U.S. a few years ago, I worked on a horse ranch with zero experience with horses. The thing is, I was a psychotherapist first. I was born and raised in Seattle, Washington, and growing up in the city, I didn’t get to be around horses the way my parents were. It didn’t matter that I had no experience. My job was to deliver equine therapy to a population of developmentally disabled people, and then later, youth at risk as well.
      And here’s the part of this that may prove useful for you: It was their job to clean out the horse stalls and to clean out the riding arena. Then the barn needed to be swept. Then, it was time to go out and select a horse or two or 3 or 4 from the herd of 18 horses, and bring it into the barn to be groomed. The people sure knew what they were doing when it came to getting the horses from the field into the barn. And I knew nothing! So on the first day, I explained to one of the students that I had grown up in Seattle and knew nothing about horses, and that she was going to have to show me how to groom the horse. Wow! To Teach the Teacher???? You should have seen her blossom! And I was learning some of the first things about how to care for a horse. It’s a lot of work! There were two people around who were running the project who were experienced horse handlers. My method of working with the people was to work along side of them, and to praise anything that they did that was right. And gain their cooperation in doing the tasks. That was mainly it. And we all learned a lot and grew together. Each horse had a distinct personality, and they are very intuitive animals. They can tell what you’re thinking and feeling. I’m not kidding. And this can be very touching and amusing at times. I was taking care of horses from day 1. And helping the developmentally disabled people to clean stables too, which is a first step in taking care of a horse. Every day, they need a clean stall, and their water buckets need to be clean, and they need clean water, and good grooming, and, like anyone, TLC.
      I have already peeked ahead to Patty’s comments, and I think she’s right. I think if you volunteered at a horse ranch, you’d be welcomed.
      Part of volunteering can also be asking to do certain tasks, so if you are just cleaning stables, ask to see about the grooming aspect. Horses need this often! They tend to get calmer as they are groomed. They like it because it helps remove the itchy places and they tend to think it’s like being petted.

  7. someone study virology related helps me answer this question by credible evidence,explanation.
    Can small amounts of rabies virus hide in our body even with proper vaccination ,and activate when immunity are low?
    This makes me worried , it stop me from my goals …Effecting my mental physical well-being :((

  8. I saw Barbara’s YouTube Ted talk. I wish I I could find and encounter group like they had in the 70’s/80’s. That we can bring our true selves to-warts and all. Be honest, but kind. I truly believe I could accomplish so much more in this world and feel less defeated with just a little bit support and encouragement. And I’m happy to do that for others. Do you guys meet on Zoom?

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