Idea Party

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How Does the Online Idea Party Work?

You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)

The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.

Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:

Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital

I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store

Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!

And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.

(Your first comment below has to be approved, so it may not display instantly depending on the time of the day. Once your email address is approved you can post instantly. If you want your own profile photo to show up beside your comments, instead of the cute little design, upload your photo on Gravatar.com and give them an hour or so to make it happen.)

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2,101 thoughts on “Idea Party

  1. Sarah, if anyone’s entitled to feeling overwhelmed, you are. Do not be embarrassed for telling us what’s going on!

    We’ve got the (truly awful) background now. Tell us what the first thing is that you need and what the obstacles seem to be. Maybe we can start helping in some way. When you’re in a position like yours, it’s hard to do even small things like find a location to move to, put your house on the market, etc.

    • Ooh, thank you so much Barbara – that’s so kind of you.
      I think why I’ve been stuck for so long is that I’ve thought no-one can help me and/or I’ve asked the wrong people on the few occasions that I have asked for help.
      I need sleep – I am an insomniac, that is probably top of my list of things that I need but I don’t know if you can help me with that.
      I need to get my house finished … I have actually paid some people for this but it hasn’t gone well, they’ve either made a mess or ran off with my money, so I’ve had to get somebody else, altogether and with added damage caused with a badly fitted new kitchen which was to put right problems with the old one it really just makes me want to run away – if I could run.
      I’m too close to it … maybe I should just cut my losses and go instead of sticking it out and trying not to be defeated. There are a lot of general jobs that need doing now basically to get the house ready to sell to move on with my new life, but I am really wary of who I have through the door now.

      I have little energy and I am not feeling very well so it has all got on top of me a bit. That’s all the practical stuff that is stopping me at the moment then onto addressing things that are actually an obstacle to me doing what I actually want to do in life, I still have to tackle the health issues and the throat issues as my voice is essential to me for my work in, well, voice work … acting … singing and voiceovers. I want to make a documentary and films as well. It is all a bit soul destroying at the moment with struggling to even muster up the energy to wash up a cup. I have smashed so many now though, not in rage but in, I don’t know what I’d call it … a mixture of bad timing and poor proprioception skills I guess, that I haven’t got many left so I have to wash them up, at least I don’t get a big build up I suppose looking on the bright side. Oh dear, this is looking a bit grim isn’t it. But it is how it is. I did manage to sort through a few clothes today and get a few things off the floor. I need Konmari to finish the job there 😉

      I want to tell you though what a relief it has been to come across you and your work and to feel that I am normal, and that is alright. It’s such a relief, it’s like a huge weight has been lifted from me.
      Thank you 🙂

  2. I want to be a actor, specifically screen and especially film playing leading roles. I also want to sing … astonishingly well.

    I had a muscle disease and I have recovered somewhat but it has left me with swollen throat and voice issues/inflamed vocal cords which I can’t seem to overcome. I have tried the best I can with my resources including some voice & speech therapy and self help techniques including everything from vocal exercises to dietary charges but my finances have pretty much dried up now … I have been left pretty isolated and depressed as it is my passion and I can’t see what else I can do – I need some help to move forward.

    • One way to move forward is to first move forward on the things that don’t immediately put a strain on your voice. Like being an extra in movies so you can be around the industry and start appearing. You can also join an online acting course and meet some other people with the same dreams. Spending time in the world where you want to be can give you new energy – and also new ideas.
      Something from Barbara’s books that I’ve found very useful is to ask myself which part of the dream is the most important to me and then to see where else I can find it too.

      • Thank you Doret.

        I am sorry, I didn’t see your reply until just now. I am having a problem with signing in, and passwords, and finding things. I am not very technical – something that isn’t helping me with marketing myself.

        Which part of the dream … I like it. I will try a little but more. I thought I had tried a lot but there is obviously a lot more I am missing but I just can’t see it. I feel a big failure at the moment. So, maybe I just have to accept though I thought it was my passion but maybe I was wrong all these years. I just don’t understand how I could have been so wrong though. I am probably confused and not feeling good enough because I am depressed and isolated, and I need people, which isn’t helping. I need to move house and I haven’t got the energy to pack and broke my shoulder so can’t even finish the decorating so that isn’t helping. I am missing fun. I wish I could help somebody else but I don’t seem to fulfil anybody’s criteria of what they need either. Ever felt a bit useless??! Thanks again.

        • I think the idea of decorating or packing up to move your house with a broken shoulder is very unrealistic.

          If you can help someone else with advice or insights, that might help you pull out of that dark corner, but if you can’t, you can’t.

          Have you seen a doctor for depression? I see that you realize you have it, and it makes everything else much worse, and it makes everything seem impossible. I don’t see how you can take the steps you need to take you make your life better if depression is holding you down, Sarah.

          • Ooh Barbara,

            Thank you. Sorry, I’m not navigating this site well, it seems. I didn’t get notifications about the replies and I have only just seen your reply, so I’m sorry about the delay in reply. I’ve realised, there is a big time difference as well, as I’m in the UK. I really appreciate everything you say. It makes sense I know. It is like a vicious circle everything at the moment. I feel so depressed and my doctor isn’t even helping me with the physical health issues, never mind the depression. It is the sheer length of tome that it has gone on for that has made me deteriorate. I had to go privately for my health issues in the end, I just kept going to my gp and she was ignoring all the letters from the consultants. I had a private neck scan in the end. I had an urgent referral to see a specialist thyroid endocrinologist (before last Christmas) which I did, because of feeling so lowsy and the extent of the swelling on my neck. I have seven growths there and one is pressing a lot of my vocal cords so causing the inflammation. The professor said I had Hashimotos Thyroiditis caused by the myositis which is all going untreated. I need to get out of here – hence I need the money from my house sale to move somewhere more safe and with better healthcare and to pay for the rest of my private healthcare costs. I was attacked in my own home as well just over a year ago. I have no friends here anymore. I looked after my father until he died, then my mother moved to my sister and my daughter is in London. My partner is in Spain … it is all a bit complicated. I know when I do the work that I love it brings me energy, that flow state when you are really connected, everything else just seems to melt away, I need to be better but I don’t need to be perfect which is something you’ve helped me realise, after all these years. I need medical help, that is my priority, it should be free here but it doesn’t always work like that in reality. I took six months to get my x-ray on the NHS to show my broken shoulder and the “urgent” MRI scan, requested in May (25th) I get the results on Thursday 3rd. The long waits just destroy you. I can’t live like this any more. I need a life. I’m really sorry to go on. It’s because I haven’t got anybody else to talk to. I know I’ll feel even more embarrassed about it afterwards. I was looking at professional organisers I’ll see if I can barter something or if they can accept payment on the proceeds of the house but I need someone at home to help me with all the crap! I can’t lift it all. Sorry. And thanks. Overwhelm, it’s definitely what this is.

  3. Hello,
    My wish is to start a consulting business that would allow me to be financially independent, chose my own schedule, travel, create art and work together with my partner instead of competing with his schedule. My idea is to harness his business savvy and free time and basically employ him as the main consultant in my firm.

    Obstacles: my first business (selling my art) failed miserably so my confidence is extremely low; I do not have experience, credibility or contacts in the business field; I do not know where to start and how to find our first clients; I have zero knowledge in the technical & engineering fields that my partner is specialised in (which would be the logical niche to start consulting in).

    • Maybe you could consult in something that your partner’s clients don’t know enough about, that way you offer a supplementary service. Random example: the one partner makes websites for people and the other one consults on images and content.

  4. Hi 🙂
    I am a scanner. I care a lot about people, knowledge and the world. I also have a huge list of goals, but I’ve narrowed them down to one singular concept. I’m just now trying to work with myself instead of against myself by doing things the way my brain wants tells me I should. But my goal seems so far and so improbable. I’ve never lacked work ethic but its always been difficult for me to connect to other people. People is what I lack.

    WISH: To guide humanity from having a parasitic relationship to the world up to having a commensal symbiosis with the world and with each other.

    DESIRED METHODS: (each a goal in itself that leads in some way to the above goal) 1. Communicating Through Art and Invention: writing, acting, comic art, electrical engineering, programming
    2. Understanding/Teaching about the World: neuroscience, psychology, physics, mathematics, statistics, nutrition, sleep technology, martial arts
    3. Understanding Society: philosophy, history of religious and spiritual practice, economics
    4. Communicating with People: negotiation, debate, public speaking

    So… Lots of crazy things. Most of these this, except the ones that require a lot of time in education, I already have somewhat competitive skills in. But…

    OBSTACLES:
    1. Money for formal education (the main reason being to meet people who my ideas mean something to and would be willing to help me.) And money in general. I opened a Curiosity shop so a good bit of my money goes there and I don’t make much to begin with.
    2. The big one: I can’t find people who appreciate or can even keep up with my ideas, most of the time. People just give me a blank confused stare or criticism. It makes me feel like all my hard work and skills are completely useless. That they will never go anywhere because no one can hear me and those who can won’t listen.
    There’s no way to say this without sounding like an asshole but with Aspergers, being a scanner and a handful of neuroses as the major downsides, it really isn’t some great thing that I would wish on anyone. I have an IQ of 141. It makes me feel extremely isolated. I know there are plenty out there who are even smarter than me and I can only imagine how terrible their isolation must be. At that number (which is superficial I think, but still represents a statistic) I have a chance to meet only 3 in 1000 people at that level. I don’t think I’ve ever met a thousand people. I can communicate well with people but no one, and I unfortunately reeally mean no one, seems to care about the stuff I think about and am able to do.
    For instance, I made a nutrition concoction that contains all daily nutrients in 500 calories and almost entirely whole foods. I was really excited after spending months of dawn till dusk research and told some people. They said why don’t you just eat vegetables? You shouldn’t do diets or you’re being vain… etc. It’s always dismissive, my entire life I’ve been called stupid, whether I am or not, people treat me that way.
    I’m 26 and a girl and comfortable being goofy me so I suppose people just don’t take me seriously.

    Sorry so long, I have no idea how to sort out the huge mess of my life.
    very sad me :'(

    • Have you come across any like-minded souls in Barbara’s Scanner groups on Facebook like “Scanners and Renaissance souls”? A less well-known group is “Why I love doing this thing”, I’ve come across some amazing people there.
      I think with a long list of obstacles like that it can help to take them one at a time and finding your people first can make some of the others easier.
      Also, finding smart people who are interested in one aspect of what you’re interested in can already give you a nice push forward. Like lets say someone can’t find people who with the same interests in literature, but manages to find a group that at least share the poetry side of it.
      That’s like putting a bit of fuel on a struggling flame to get it a bit bigger before attempting the next thing.

      • Dear Georgia,
        I was happy to read your reply. I am also 26 years old, leaving in Moscow, Russia and also am a scanner. In school I studied 4 languages, apart from biochemistry, programming, playing guitar and half dozen other things. Right now I am teaching yoga and will start my PhD course in the altered states of consciousness in November.
        First of all you are not alone.
        Second – yes, I get everything you are saying about humanity
        Third – I will be happy to hear more about your nutrition program. May be can help with some advise.
        Fourth – there are people out there like you – young, inspired and full of ideas of changes. Let’s connect. Here is my facebook account: https://www.facebook.com/inventrix.gf
        You are very welcome to chat, skype and be connected.
        Hope you’ll feel the support.
        Best wishes,
        Lidia

      • Dear friends,
        My name is Lidia, I am living in Moscow, Russia, 26 y.o. I am scanner with a 100 list things that I would like to learn and do. Each time when I am getting back to Barbara’s book “Refuse to choose” I get back to the idea about a Meet-up group/club for Scanners in Moscow.

        Wish: organise an event for scanners in Moscow, Russia (it could be a little meeting just for 20 people or a big conference – depends on how it goes). I have experience in organising events for at least 5 years and can do almost everything – from finding a venue to finding people who will attend with a direct communication with each of them, also I am professional simultaneous interpreter, so it is possible to make Russian-English translation for speakers/attendees.

        Obstacle: how to start? How to connect with Barbara’s managers to receive a permission. What will be the requirements?

        So, I picked up a very simple idea at least as it seems now. (compare to 10 other things that I got only this week).
        I am very grateful to Barbara and her team and wish to help and support.

        • First, you have my complete permission, Lidia. I would love to see you gather a group of Scanners of any size together to support and help each other.

          Let me know what I can do to help.

          • Dear Barbara,
            Many thanks for your answer. I can formulate all my questions into a list and send to you, but not sure which way of a communication will be the best.

    • Doret: I didn’t even know about those groups! I will check them out, thank you! I like the fuel analogy, makes me think about how so often we just want connections to work out but connection has its own baby steps and just takes time to grow.
      Lidia: Altered states of consciousness is the focus of my sleep studies! I’m actually in the process of building a float tank in my house with EEGs, to see if I can induce all sleep conscious states and possibly higher hz of meditative states. And I’d be happy to connect and send you the recipe for the nutrition supplement. It tastes really bad but its whole nutrition lol.

  5. Hello!!.
    I have some big dreams but I think the real first one is: to be financially independent, move away to Porto City (Portugal) at a specific building and apartment in “Paso Alegre at Foz” vin front of a very nice park and 200 meters from the sea …. also and find a companion.
    Obstacles:
    1- I live in a very small village 30kms away.
    2- I will get unemployed in october, I got the announcement on last April and today received the confirmation.
    3- Divorced for 10 years now and still depend on ex-husband means to have a good reasonable life.
    4- I don’t have clue what I will be doing for a professional activity and get income to even pay my expenses where I’m actually neither to pay expenses at For in Porto.
    5- I am a foreigner for 22 years now, which means my family and all my friends are in Mèxico.

    Huge Impossible Dream, huh!??.
    At least now it is written 🙂

    • Do you live in Portugal now? If you don’t, sometimes countries will offer incentives for you to move there, especially if you’re interested in an education. I don’t know about Portugal but some counties offer free college to foreign students or work programs if you just want enough money to live there.

    • Maybe you can take it from a different angle: find out what kind of skills shortages there are in that city and see if there’s any of those jobs you could do. Maybe commute for a while and then move.
      And break it up into steps: get a job there, move there and then take on the next part: moving to the perfect place inside that city with a partner.

  6. Wish: I would love help redesigning my blog to look more like an author website. I’ve got several ideas but am not very artistic visually.

    Obstacle: 1) I can’t afford a professional. I’m willing to do some sort of trade, though I’m not entirely sure what to offer (I’m open to suggestions). 2) I’ve posted this in the Facebook group and have had three people volunteer and flake out. I would really appreciate someone who can actually commit to what they say they will do.

    • Do you already have a domain? Or is it on a blog site with followers that you just want to spruce up?
      Weebly is useful, easy to use and you can update it anytime. You just drag and drop icons or whatever anywhere you want. And you can just sign and change or update it anytime. You can attach a domain if you have one and it looks really modern and sharp.
      Here’s one I did and I have no idea how to program:
      abcarchive.weebly.com
      Unless, like I said, if you already have a website and are just trying to redesign it.

  7. Hello- I want to be on a Soap Opera, it looks like so much fun and I think I could be really good at it.
    Obstacle- Im 52, not gorgeous and raising a young man/boy who needs lots of extra help to get through school

    • You could get a few friends together and make your own soap opera with weekly or even monthly episodes on youtube or a podcast. Who knows, you might know someone who has a secret dream of script writing.
      Or you could try be an extra on a soap opera and take it from there.
      Another idea (impractical if you can’t travel but might spark a random idea) is to check out soap operas in other countries. In South Africa, for example, the soap operas tend to have a lot of “real-looking” people of all kinds of shapes and ages in it.

    • Would your son be interested in doing a short film with you? As a fun break from schoolwork? Depends on your relationship with him but it never hurts to have some fun.
      Like Doret said, there are probably people in your community who do theatre or college students who are looking for actors for short film projects. I got together a group of local people who love film that I met through those kind of groups. We did a few short films together so putting yourself out there does work eventually.

  8. Hello all.
    My dream is to be financially stable, take care of myself and my children through success in my businesses.

    My obstacles: survival… I’m recently divorced and live in Cheyenne WY which is a smallish town. It isn’t alot of help here unless you mostly don’t need help. I’ve spent all my small post divorce savings on survival (rent, utilities, internet, food and gas) and some startup business expenses. I’ve put in as much effort as I can possiblly muster into my businesses, but they require more time and money. I have run out of both. I’ve let my phone go to keep the internet on (my businesses are online so very necessary). I am looking at an eviction in the next several days and I’m not sure what to do. I don’t have family here… well my ex-husband but that’s not even an option. I don’t have any friends really… I had a friend that lives here but upon moving here our relationship changed dramatically. She’s very religious and I am not anymore. I think we were always only really long time associates.

    • Is there a better place for you to live, Tonisha? That doesn’t sound like your town. Where are you from? Where are your friends? Where did you ever live that suited you better?

      There don’t seem to be many resources there, and even worse, you have no emotional support, no friends.

      If it’s impossible to leave yet is there a university or college there where you can get a job? You might meet some interesting people. Is there a bookstore you can work at so you find some people with similar interests?

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