How Does the Online Idea Party Work?
You have a dream or a wish, and an obstacle to getting there. (If you don’t think you know your wish, work through my kick-starter and read this post. To learn why you must put logic aside to find your dream, read the following.)
The online Idea Party is here to help you – and the other fellow party goers – with your wishes and obstacles.
Voices from Success Teams and Idea Parties:
Having a team to report to and hearing what everybody did each week is very exciting. It’s kept me moving all year. In the past I made some good starts on my own, but found, every time, when the energy ran out, I ran out. Now it doesn’t run out.
Jade G.
Children’s Playroom Therapist, New York Hospital
I would do a painting a year, a sketch a year. If it was only me I know I would never do it. Having to tell you makes all the difference. It’s crazy why I didn’t do this years ago, it’s so easy all of a sudden.
Caroline R. Personnel Executive, Macy’s Dept Store
Post Your Wish and Your Obstacle Here!
And help your team mates out when you can. Use the Reply link to help, the form below the comments to add your own Wish and Obstacle.
(Your first comment below has to be approved, so it may not display instantly depending on the time of the day. Once your email address is approved you can post instantly. If you want your own profile photo to show up beside your comments, instead of the cute little design, upload your photo on Gravatar.com and give them an hour or so to make it happen.)
I am just reading the following book published in 2014 –
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
by Bessel van der Kolk MD.
It’s fascinating how childhood trauma affects the brain, the body’s physiology and our experiences as adults.
The author has been on the forefront of studying and researching over many decades, thousands of people who have experienced trauma as a child. The correlation between childhood abuse, abandonment and neglect and a lifetime of pain and disconnection is mind-blowing. I never felt that my diagnosis of ADD was accurate. Yes I am a scanner and have textbook symptoms of ADD but I always knew there was more to the puzzle of my painful life. Dr. Van der Kolk’s exhaustive research, subsequent explanations, definitions and solutions have been very validating. I would like to know if anyone here has read this book and what your thoughts are on if and how this leading edge information has helped you. I have a suspicion that many of us on this blog have experienced neglect, abandonment, non-nurturing and/or abuse as children. I’m looking forward to combining Dr Van der Kolk’s solutions with Barbara’s work and welcome your thoughts.
Hi Adele. I have not read this book, but I have read quite a bit on this subject. I may check this one out. If you are looking for more resources on this, I have a blog called livingwithdidblogspot.com
The main content may not be pertinent to you, but on the left sidebar I’ve put a list of books I’ve found very helpful in recovering from child abuse. Alice Miller in particular writes in her books about the mind/body link.
Hello Adele,
I read The Body Keeps the Score after discovering I have complex PTSD from childhood trauma. It has been incredibly helpful to me especially since I had unexplained physical symptoms that I now believe to be caused by trauma. I have also read books by Peter Levine about Somatic Experiencing and I have been using Trauma Release Exercises this past year to help me release the trauma from my body. It has been the single most effective treatment I have found so far. I really hope that the world comes to accept the role the body has to play in mental illness because I think the information in the books I have mentioned above has the potential to change society as well as individual lives.
I am thrilled that this forum exists for us. The book is mostly finished…I am social media challenged but I need to pre-sell in order to publish. I am terrified not knowing what/how to. But am also terrified to turn back without trying. Would greatly appreciate help here. Love listening to mini video series now with Barbara…Many Thanks
PS this guy is an incredible mover and shaker in this field based in the USA – try reading some ofd his work / finding case studies of his projects / organising a coffee meeting to pitch the idea to him (but read some of his stuff first) and ask for his feedback 🙂
http://www.deliberative-democracy.net/index.php/about/staff
Hi Jade, sorry I did see this earlier but just realized it was directed at me for my Peace Summit plan. Apologies. I have been checking him out, I think it was there I found this term “social entrepreneur”. Fascinating! I’ve started wondering if down the road I could work out some kind of job that fits with my disabilities to do from home tying in with this, using my “crazy ideas” like this peace summit to get involved and gain experience. You give the best links!
Hi,
My main obstacle is that I’m confused about to to even start using a planner, or a schedule. 🙁
I’m devouring “refuse to choose” and talks a lot about the Importance of a calendar, but calendars are scary and I don’t know what to put there.
I do have a weekly planner but it is mainly to ensure I do what I truly need to get done like errands and phone calls.
So, let’s say I want a 15 month calendar… What to I write? If I have 5 interests, I list the, all on each minth? I know I’ll figure it out, but kids lost right now. Thank you!
When you get to the part about Rewards and Durations, let your Durations drive your calendar choices. You might need 4 Quarterly Creative Projects a year. You might need to prove to yourself you can fit in 6 different interests every week by scheduling them on your calendar.
You may be a Cyclical Scanner like me who panics about the interest you’re not pursuing whenever you intensely pursue a different one, and just putting the one you set aside on the calendar will be reassuring. Or you may be so busy at work that you just need to schedule spontaneous Scanner time, time for short Duration interests you won’t choose until the day gets here.
If you’re overwhelmed by 6 big, complex interests (climb Mount Everest, learn to play the didgeridoo, visits all the capitals of Europe, win a writing award, find the love of your life, and build a bicycle), you may not start any of them until you see all of them fit just fine on a 10-year calendar.
For now, put on your calendar “Read some more of Refuse to Choose.” And enjoy!
Paula,
To keep track of what’s important and who I love, I write only one word or name with a black felt pen on bright sticky note and stick it on my wall. I can then move them around as I please. At first they were in no particular order. But as I would pass by, I would rearrange per how I felt at the time and they are actually in some kind of categories now; and I still move them around. I have words written like Bike, Hike, Yoga, World Relief ( a place I volunteer) Virginia, Lauren (friends’ names) etc. If I don’t write down what I love, what I would love to do, who I want to help, my friend’s names and even my family’s names, I forget who and what’s important and then I and they, get lost in the shuffle. Keeping it this simple works for me. Hope this helps
I’ve unsubscribed several times already but keep getting posts from this site, so I guess I’ll tell you why I’m unsubscribing (again!)
You claim to want to help people but it’s obvious that people need to have a lot of money and already be successful in order to join your so-called “success” teams. Your “success team” leaders care more about money than people and aren’t knowledgeable about current events and the current job market. Furthermore, they don’t follow what Barbara Sher wrote in her book. Barbara claims you don’t need money in order to be successful while turning around and telling people they can’t join her “success” teams or get help from her organization unless they have money to pay. This is disingenuous, to say the least.
All so-called “career coaches” do this–Tony Robbins, et al. They claim they can help anyone achieve their dreams and if you haven’t achieved them you just aren’t doing all the right things. But then when you approach them and ask them for help they want your money.
It’s too bad. I really needed help. Unfortunately, I spent money on the Refuse to Choose book club and it was a waste of money. I’d like to get a refund but I’m sure that won’t happen. It is now too late for me as my health problems have gotten worse and, consequently, so have my finances.
So I’m unsubscribing AGAIN. Please unsubscribe me! I’m not wealthy, so not one of your desired customers anyway. Frankly, if you have the money to pay for Barbara’s workshops you don’t need her. Just go out and do what you want to do and stop giving people who claim to be “experts” your money.
Why don’t you just unsubscribe peacefully instead of spewing out these incredibly insulting comments.
I paid $6 for one of Barbara’s books – and got an incredible treasure trove of fabulous tips, methods, and practices NONE of which cost me any money. Barbara also has FREE FB Idea parties where one can post their goal and problems reaching it, and people are lining up to give comments and suggestions – also for FREE and most if not all of the people posting ideas to help are life coaches who charge $ for a living.
In the first place why should anyone do this stuff for free. And again note, other than the $6 – all of it was free.
I suggest you take a good look at your attitude before accusing someone like that.
It sounds like your negativity has gotten you nowhere, not the inability to take high paying workshops.
Meri, I have just unsubscribed you from all Barbara’s Club pages. I am so sorry that your attempts to unsubscribe were unsuccessful.
Running Success Teams is a micro-business in a kit, a way for people to earn part of their living. And it’s a lot of work. They meet with a small group of members for 16 hours. Often, they include extra hours for the group’s Idea Party. Always, they spend extra hours prepping the materials, rehearsing their role, and getting the word out to prospective members. And all have spent 20 hours or more, unpaid, learning to run teams.
A few with outside sources of income generously do it for free, as mentioned in the http://shersuccessteams.com/findateam.htm directory, but most need the income. And unlike employment, this income comes with no benefits and twice the Social Security and Medicare taxes. I believe Barbara’s Success Teams leaders all deserve a lot more than any of them charge.
But this does not mean there is nothing for people with low incomes. All of Barbara’s incredibly helpful books are available free in almost every library in the country or for a few dollars used. Her Sher Boards are free. You can find them at http://boards.barbarasher.com.
And her first book, Wishcraft, the best one for anyone looking for an income, is free to read at http://wishcraft.com. This Idea Party is free. The articles in the Free Stuff section are free. Her How to Get What You Really Want ebook (http://barbarasclub.com/how-to-get-what-you-really-want/) is free.
And if you’re looking for an income, you may be able to get a Success Teams leader to agree to defer your fee until you land the job. But consider offering them extra for taking a chance on you, because you are cutting into their current income. And by all means, don’t be one of those jerks who forgets to pay after your Success Teams leader actually gives you the lead that lands you the not-yet-advertised job that exactly matches your dream job description.
You are correct about the Refuse to Choose book club, Meri. We do offer 100% refunds, but you are no longer eligible for one more than a year after you joined the 16-week club.
And comparing the low rates Barbara charges to those of folks like Tony Robbins rankles me. My share of your Book Club membership fee paid for fewer than 10 days of the internet access I needed to be online with that club for 112 days (not to mention the time online to set it up and keep checking in over the 8 months since then — or any actual income to live on). Barbara’s share might have paid to feed her family of three for a day. Barbara and I work hard to keep the price of her programs low.
You are now unsubscribed from comments on Barbara’s Club, Meri. If you reply here, please be sure to choose “Don’t Subscribe” in the Leave a Reply box drop-down before you click on the Post Comment button, because it is definitely not our intention to aggravate anyone.
You are right: success team’s leaders are not saints (at least the one writing this lines isn’t). We don’t live on air. Unfortunately my landlord doesn’t seem to be a saint either, or the supermarket owner etc.
I also don’t remember where Barbara says that you can get everything without money! I think she says that you should try to find ways around money first before you decide that you cannot get what you want without the money. She also says that you can think about ways to get at least the most important parts of what you want without having to change much in your life. It is written all in wishcraft (for free at http://www.wishcraft.com). She doesn’t say that her people will work gratis.
But Barbara and her community also give a lot away for free (see Patty’s comment!).
In any case: farewell and good luck!
Have you checked out “High Speed Indecisive” in Barbara’s book, Refuse to Chose?
Also, as an introvert you need time to recharge your batteries away from people and noise!
I am both of these things and I’m learning how to work in ways that support me, instead of being put down for these traits(wonderful at that!)
Also, if you love being near your parents, how about thinking in terms of “income streams”, and one of those could be as a paid part-time caregiver.
Make your “umbrella job’ something you can leave at work and that pays well. My umbrella income is looking like pet-sitting currently. It’s work, but it’s in the pet-care, and people-pet relationships field, and I think it’s important to be in a field, vs the non-pet work I’ve been pushed into in the past.
Besides, there is a great need for pet-sitters of every type it seems! THAT is very satisfying, to be needed and to help animals live comfortably instead of stressed!
I’m glad you found out who you are and what to do to take care of yourself. I wear Selenite when I go to family parties, smudge the house, and clear my crystals in the moonlight. It’s good to know you’re not alone as being highly sensitive/introvert or some would call us Empaths.
Hi Guys,
I have this wish (and I am being complety open with you so I do apologise for coming across big headed or selfish but I just want to get it off my chest) I do have a good enough job at the moment which doesn’t stress me out, people are nice, pays good money, has really good benefits so the only downside is that is tremendously boring and not fulfilling. However, I do love to paint portraits and I love to speak english (i’m polish by the way) and one day I want to be fluent in french which I’m learning now. I have this enourmous love for Paris and cultrue, probably because so many great artists lived in there that I can relate to. Chopin -polish composer, Edith Piaf , Alexei Harlamoff -great russian painter..etc, so here comes my fantasy and wish…I would love to be one of the famous portrait artist in the world where people would admire my paintings, somehow this combined with using my languages and my aspiration is to speak as well as native speakers and opportunity to travel to Paris and be surrounded by creative, artistic people…I can’t find any careers that would allow me to fulfill this fantasy..well I’m searching for one but hopefully you guys will help..I hope you do know what I mean and perhaps some of you can relate to this…
Desperatley Seeking Answers:-) Joanna X
This sounds so amazing Joanna. I see you working at your present job, making money to take you on these trips to Paris, … Painting in Les Champs Elises, … Building a portfolio online or even home parties. YOu can even take them to work & show your colleagues. One thing leads to another and maybe one day you can afford to live in one of your favorite countries painting and selling your art in an atelier. Unless you feel your job is dishonest and cruel, I would feel blessed to have the $, the insurance benefits, … You could invest in a condo here or around the world. You work to pay the bills and live the life of your dreams in the evenings and weekends. Pretty soon you’ll be vacationing here & there & buying condos everywhere LOL it rhymed. Good luck to you Joanna
Dear Josette!
Thank you so much for your reply:-) when I was reading it I could actually picture myself doing all those things that you suggested! I already have my own website and I am trying to build up my portfolio and I often encouter ‘resistance’ that Barbara often talks about:-) but after reading ‘refuse to choose’ I know i just have to make a schedule for myself and stick with it:-) Thank you again for your comments which have put smile on my face
oh I forgot to add that I work for a pharma company and it’s a very ethical company and they do care about the patients!
You are very welcome Joanna. Always available for you. Just give me a shout. Glad I made you smile, makes me smile 😀
You are very welcome Joanna. Always available for you. Just give me a shout. Glad I made you smile, makes me smile 😀 – Sound’s like a great place to work, helping others 😀
After putting this off for years in favor of chronic fantasizing, distraction, and detachment from the “real world” (which I continue to struggle against as I try to write this), here’s this mid-twenties adulthood-fearing girl’s attempt at just getting thoughts out so I can finally ask for help here after discovering Barbara Sher’s work years ago.
Wish: To somehow balance or harmonize my obsessions with passive activities like reading/listening/watching/reblogging/sharing links to things related to theatre (mostly musicals) and performing arts (especially new musical theatre and shows with a contemporary/experimental bent that challenge perspectives/raise consciousness) – and occasionally mindfulness/personal development-related material – with activities that are active and constructive: an education/career path, some actual skill or value that I can contribute, meeting like-minded people, etc. Basically I want to break out of my excessive hermit tendencies and get out into the world, develop practical, valuable skills that can generate a sustainable income, form meaningful connections with people, and become an independent adult (currently dependent on my parents but I love having them around), but in a way that isn’t draining to my shy, reclusive nature.
Obstacle: I don’t know what I want to do or where I fit. I lack skills because I’m only broadly interested in things and I seem to lack the focus/motivation to acquire the necessary skills/knowledge (presumably a combination of having ADD and being a Scanner that I can’t seem to work around). I’ve gotten help from therapists and coaches, but I still struggle with attention, low energy/motivation, and isolation. I had to take a leave of absence from college because these issues made it too difficult to keep up with my schoolwork, and I haven’t been back in years, so the idea of resuming education has been even more intimidating as a result. I’ve been told by my employer and others that I’m good at proofreading, computers, and helping people find things on the internet, and I like collecting and sharing information from other sources, but I feel like activities that require me to produce my own output, whether it’s writing, speaking, math, or pretty much anything I can think of, just drain my energy as I struggle to slog through my sluggish mental processing (if I even have any coherent thoughts to offer).
I feel like I could use additional support and/or resources, but I can’t seem to find a Success Team or something similar in the Philadelphia area, and starting one feels intimidating with a lack of resources (social savvy, network, space, etc.). I’ve tried looking into local Meetup groups and other organizations to try to connect with like-minded people and those with mutual interests, but again, I can’t seem to figure out where I fit. I currently work as an administrative assistant and I’m looking into arts administration, theatre production, and theatre archiving, but I can’t escape the feeling that I’m grasping at straws because it’s hard to picture myself performing these roles or acquiring the necessary skills to do so, or even to get a sense of whether I actually want to do any of these things. I am currently working on reaching out to people in these fields to learn more about these kinds of work, but I also wonder if there may be any other approaches or career avenues that might work for me. Maybe I should stop before I ramble any longer; I’ve just been tired of holding myself back for so long because of not knowing how to write this. Thank you for reading and for all that you do for this community.
One more thing: I realize it’s possible that I may just need what Barbara calls a “Good Enough Job” that supports my interests, instead of trying to turn my interests into a career. Still, it seems hard to find one I can do that doesn’t drain energy from my introverted and shy nature to some extent, and my time spent outside of work trying to pursue interests feels mostly lethargic and aimless (though maybe it’s just my own mentality that needs to change and I’d feel like this in any case).
Hi luftmensch, I really enjoyed reading your comments above. I read allot about young/not so young people that are confused today about what they want to do and feel they need to do. Many wonder about their life purpose, what blocks them from have a good paying job, why they feel different than the norm… YOu mention you’re in your mid-twenties, I guess that means you were born around 1990? You mention having ADD which is considered by some as a dis-ease but that I would call a character trait for an Indigo. Of course you want do work that is satisfying, something that will make a difference in this world, something that you can do that makes you happy every day. If not in your daily work, then at least part time weekly. Just because we are not like the norm does not make us, not good enough, not smart enough, not enough for others. It takes different types of people to do different types of work. Indigos have a difficult mission but they are able to change the world, whereas, Lightworkers, people born from the 60s generally don’t have that power but have a mission to help the younger generation to attain their gold to change what isn’t working in the world. – Before I go on and I have gone way beyond what I should, let me know if you would like to discuss more and if this resonates with you.
Hi Josette! Thank you so much for your supportive reply! I had heard a bit about the Indigo type back when I was more of a spiritual seeker years ago, and I appreciate that you discussed the perspective of character strengths as opposed to disease, which has always resonated with me in some ways throughout years of trying to navigate what this ADD label I’ve been given means for me. At the same time, because the mental and physical imbalances I feel seem to affect almost everything I do, regardless of interest or difficulty, I’ve currently found myself inclined to consider possible health causes (I’ve already tried various nutritional, conventional, and alternative treatment approaches, but I’m planning to get some tests done just to see what happens).
Still, even after writing this, I’ve just come across the following words in Wishcraft that also strongly resonated with me:
“If you are low on energy, if you need a lot of sleep and feel like you’re always dragging yourself around at half throttle, it may not be because you need vitamins or have low blood sugar. It may be because you have not found your purpose in life. You will recognize your own path when you come upon it, because you will suddenly have all the energy and imagination you will ever need.”
In fact, one of the questions my physician actually asked during my physical was, “What excites you?” and encouraged me to pursue it.
I’m never sure what to make of all this, but in any case, I have indeed longed for the ability to contribute to something creative and transformative, even if it’s something relatively small (after all, I tend to prefer being out of the spotlight and the pressure it creates, though I do find myself fantasizing about performing? I used to sing in school choirs and I do miss that, though I also feel a pull to help create something.) I would gratefully love to talk with you if you have any thoughts on how I might break out of my isolated shell and channel this desire into something constructive without getting burned out by practical responsibilities or the focus and energy needed to move forward (as I seem to struggle with and postpone even expressing myself here).
Well Luftmensch, I would love to talk. You can reach me easily on FB. Each one of us has a personal life purpose and life mission. I would be glad to talk with you.
Ooh, I would love to chat with both of you! (I am also Indigo).
Luftmench I think what you are setting out to do is very laudable and I’m sure you’ll find plenty of good advice here. I am a scanner in my late twenties with many interests. I also have a severe dissociative disorder that makes it very difficult for me to focus on anything for a given time. Because of this I hesitate to join a success team because I can’t predictably keep up with interactions or timetables. However if you would like a “success/ motivator/ mutual cheering section pen pal”, perhaps while you continue to search for a team in your area, I’d be happy to. I love coming up with ideas to challenges, especially when they don’t have the stress of being my own ;). If you’re interested just let me know.
Hello Indigo Annette, great to meet you. I’m a Lightworker, here to help you Indigo’s change the world. Would be glad to connect. Just sent me a shout. I’m easy to find.
Josette –
I’ve been following this conversation for awhile & have read about the Indigo concept (as well as, of course, all Barbara’s books from Wishcraft to Refuse to Choose). I’ve just reached out to you as well (I think).
(J’espère que c’est vrai …. :-))
Hello M,
J’espere que c’est vrai? – We need to talk. I’m so easy to find on fb – not allowed to promote here.
I also know a woman who graduated in theatre and also does music, who is now teaching at a college I believe. She’s late twenties also, just starting so she may have some great advice and connections for you. If you want I can connect you with her.
Thank you so much for your offers of support, Annette! I, too, have difficulties keeping up with things like interactions and timetables, and I honestly don’t quite know what kind of help I need, but I would be very grateful to connect with you and your contact in theatre. I feel like isolating myself due to not knowing how to reach out or what to ask has held me back long enough, and any ideas or resources you may have to share would be greatly appreciated.
Great! I realize now I have no idea how to privately share my contact info with you. Maybe someone here knows? Let me scratch my head for a minute and get back to you.
can’t you just write your contact info here Annette? josette.leblanc@hotmail.com http://www.crystals-angels.com
This works, Josette, but it leaves your email address out in plain sight for “scrapers” to add to annoying mailing lists. If it’s a public email address already on your website, for example, you’re probably used to the spam, but for others, it’s an issue. Say the word, and I’ll delete yours. And for everyone — if you want someone on Barbara’s Club to have your email address, send it to webmaster@barbarasclub.com (there’s an example of a completely non-private address on everyone’s list) and tell us who to forward it to.
That probably works best Patty, thanks. I appreciate the offer Josette, but I’m not entirely comfortable putting my email on a public space. Luftmensch, I will try to send my email to you.
Email hopefully sent. Let me know if it doesn’t reach you.
I don’t think I received the email, and my subscription to these comments doesn’t seem to be working either. In any case, if it helps, I’ve decided to create a separate email account for Barbara Sher community-related communications. Feel free to contact me at c l o u d w a l k e r w o r l d @ g m a i l . c o m (sorry for the spacing; hoping this helps avoid the scrapers). Thanks so much!
Got it. 🙂
Luftmensch,
My first thought after reading your Post is to Start. Some ADDers have great great difficulty starting. Then life passes by. Make a commitment to yourself that you will Start, meaning take action on ONE thing for a certain amount of time- even one minute, everyday. You can use this site to commit and we will support you. Inability to Start feels like quicksand – stuck. With one step at a time, baby steps, it’s amazing how much better one can feel. The confusion will begin to clear. ADDers need structure. Commitment is structure. Action is structure. We also need support. We can wither on the vine going it alone. I like the following phrase to bring me back to the moment keeping me grounded and focused: first step second step I am home.
Thank you, Adele! Starting is indeed the ultimate struggle for me, but it seems that even with the support I have, my follow-through is too often nonexistent. I do want to try reaching out to people here and on the message boards though…if I can get myself to start!
Thank you for the reminder of the value of even the tiniest steps; they do add up slowly but surely as long as I can keep going. I finally met with someone recently to learn about internship opportunities…I still don’t know what I’m doing but I guess that’s a step.
Congratulations, yes every step counts as long as your goal is clear. This is why I offer a mentoring program to help people stay focused and accountable to themselves. You can check it out or email me at http://www.crystals-angels.com or josette.leblanc@hotmail.com –
Hi Luftmensch
You said “obsession with passive activities like reading/listening/watching/reblogging/sharing links to things”
These all sound to me like the activities involved in curation, which isn’t passive but an important and value-creating active process. You probably know that word better in relation to museums, where curators select which items to put together in exhibitions, decide how to display them, and add information to give extra value for visitors. But information online can also be curated, and it’s a big thing on the internet now.
“I’ve been told by my employer and others that I’m good at proofreading, computers, and helping people find things on the internet, and I like collecting and sharing information from other sources,” This shows me that as well as liking information curating activities, you are also highly skilled at doing them. It’s just that they come so naturally to you that you don’t recognise them as skills.
So how to put them to use? Well, since your employer recognises your skills, could you suggest that you put together a regular email newsletter or blog about the sector his company or organisation works in? You could gather together relevant and interesting articles, posts, videos etc, select the best bits, add some commentary. It could make you a very valuable employee. Maybe do one as an example to show him before you make the suggestion.
Here are a couple of posts about content curation for business purposes http://blog.hootsuite.com/beginners-guide-to-content-curation
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stefan-deeran/what-is-social-media-cont_b_3383706.html
But you could also do this for your interests outside work. Theatre and performing arts is an obvious one. Start with a free blog at Blogger or WordPress.com or use Pinterest or Twitter or a Facebook page, or a combination of them. You’ll gradually build up a network of readers and commentors with similar interests, which will help to break your isolation. It’s also a way of showing off your skills and knowledge, which could lead to interesting opportunities in the future.
Here’s one of my favourite curated websites as an example, https://www.brainpickings.org
Skannie, What a loving and helpful response to Luftmensch. And so creative! It felt so good to read what you wrote!
Thanks Adele! 🙂 It was rather a late response, so I hope she comes back and reads it. If she does she might also like this interview with Barbara about shy people and introverts https://youtu.be/Wbsq1WMbAgc
Skannie, thank you so much for your thoughtful response! I’ve been busy lately and haven’t really had the energy to be active here for a while; I’m sorry for the late reply.
I agree with you about the value of curation, and though I am currently trying to make plans to leave my job (I’ve gained useful office experience but it’s become tiring working overtime and still not keeping up, the type of work doesn’t seem to fit me well, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to balance it with my classes and other pursuits), I do have a very informal blog of sorts mostly focused on musical theatre, which is really just a random collection of stuff I like, I guess sort of like a Pinterest or collage or something. Once in a quite a while I’ll chat with people in the blogging community or write my own thoughts, but it seems to take a lot of time, energy and focus for me to get the words out, so it’s easier for me to just be on the sidelines and reblog other people’s stuff, even though I want to meet and talk or exchange messages with people.
I also struggle with feeling like I dabble so lightly in my interests that I don’t know enough to contribute enough value, but it seems that whenever I try to learn things in more detail, I lose interest. This may be a Scanner thing but I feel like I don’t know how to make it work for me because my interests are so vague that I feel like I can’t do much with them. I often don’t know what to think or say about a topic, but I also don’t know what skills or knowledge I want to develop.
Thank you all so much for reading and responding to all my rambling! I hope that at some point I can find a way be of help to you instead of just asking for it.
Also, thank you for sharing Barbara’s video about shy people and introverts! I had seen it before but watched it again and it was a nice reminder 🙂
I posted this on the wishes page, I hope it’s all right to post here too. I read it’s a good idea to post in both to get more ideas. I am very new, so I was waiting to post (I’m a scanner with lots of ideas), but this one I’m trying to put together as fast as I can.
I want to propose an idea to the United States Institute of Peace. I want to propose that they host a summit at their Academy for International Conflict Managent, inviting high ranking members of the NRA, state representatives, possibly NAMI (national alliance on mental illness) and families of the victims of mass shootings for respectful, small group discussions mediated by the most expert high risk conflict resolution professionals in the nation (or world). Everyone given the reassurance that they will be respected and heard in a space safe to vocalize their concerns without being attacked, and that everone will be listened to. Each small group represented by each faction and mediated by a high risk conflict resolution expert would meet for a set time (days or weeks), and come up with what they believe to be the best solution. The end results would be presented to Congress to consider as they weigh on gun control issues.
My problem is I don’t know the proper way to organize and present this idea, or who to present it to. It seems like a bad idea for just me to call them directly. Do I organize a petition? Call my state representative? Gather support of some kind? Who? Where? There must be proper channels for this sort of thing.
I want to propose an idea to the United States Institute of Peace. I want to propose that they host a summit at their Academy for International Conflict Managent, inviting high ranking members of the NRA, state representatives, possibly NAMI (national alliance on mental illness) and families of the victims of mass shootings for respectful, small group discussions mediated by the most expert high risk conflict resolution professionals in the nation (or world). Everyone given the reassurance that they will be respected and heard in a space safe to vocalize their concerns without being attacked, and that everone will be listened to. Each small group represented by each faction and mediated by a high risk conflict resolution expert would meet for a set time (days or weeks), and come up with what they believe to be the best solution. The end results would be presented to Congress to consider as they weigh on gun control issues.
My problem is I don’t know the proper way to organize and present this idea, or who to present it to. It seems like a bad idea for just me to call them directly. Do I organize a petition? Call my state representative? Gather support of some kind? Who? Where? There must be proper channels for this sort of thing.
Hi Annette. That sounds like a great idea. Certainly someone needs to do something about the problem, and why not you? There probably isn’t one proper way to do it. I think you could tackle it in several different ways at once and see which works.
I’d suggest first a thorough reading of all sections of the USIP website, if you haven’t done that already. So you can find out exactly how they work. They also provide educational materials that might be helpful to you.
http://www.usip.org/
Then in particular check out the “Our people” section which includes sub-sections for Experts, Key Contacts and Program Staff http://www.usip.org/our-people
They also have a Facebook page which you can “Like” and it looks as if you can post topics for discussion there. https://www.facebook.com/usinstituteofpeace
You can find the institute and some of its employees on LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/company/united-states-institute-of-peace?trk=top_nav_home
Gathering support is a very good plan. I think the best way to gather support nowadays is through social media, especially the big three of Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. You can also start a free blog on Blogger or wordpress.com and put links to your posts on the other sites.
Facebook is probably the best place to start. A lot of activists are organising through it these days. One way is to search for pages and groups where these issues are already being discussed, and contribute your ideas to the discussion. Another way is to start your own “Page” and/or Group about your idea. Note that a FB Page is not the same as a personal profile. It’s what used to be called a fan page and people can “like” it. But you have to have a personal profile first (where people can “friend” you) so that you can set up and manage a Page from it.
These are good sites for starting a petition, but you would need to promote it through Facebook, Twitter etc.
http://www.avaaz.org
http://www.change.org
Thank you! I talked to the head of USIP. He said they are strictly international, but he gave me some advice and pointed me toward a different organization that could do it if it was a federal event. Right now I’m reaching out to groups that would be involved to see what the interest level is. If there is enough interest I will go ahead and talk to state and legislative representatives to ask for their advice and the best way to move forward. It’s looking like the best plan is a very large, well organized petition to the government to host and fund the summit. I can’t believe I’m doing this! But it is amazing seeing that little old me could actually pull this together. I know in my gut it can be done I’m just not sure about having the nerve to go through with it!
I get such a huge kick out of “little old me” folks rocking the world. Go, Annette! We needs lots more people like you.
Thanks Patty!
What an amazing list, Scannie. How is it you so often do that?
🙂
Hi Annette
I love your idea andnot has firm foundations in other successful approaches used for bridging differences and developing creative solutions worldwide. I’m not sure if you are somone who likes reading and research, but you might be interested to look into the restorative justice movement and some of the work that happened post apartheid in South African, which focused on dialogue across strongly held view points.
Even more relevant may be the concept and practice of ‘deliberative democracy’. I have worked and written in this field for a while. Checkout the (American) National Colaitition of Dialogue and Deliberation for access to case studies, tools and networks of trained facilitators. Deliberation is a practice of bringing people together (either experts or lay citizens or both) to learn and respectfully consider and discuss big issues with a view to coming to a decision (consensus usually), to inform decision makers.
Good luck!
Jade
Thanks Jade! I was needing some encouragement. I have reached out to some of the groups I would want to attend the summit, to see how they feel before I take it any further. None of them responded, so I’m feeling a bit deflated, although I’m learning that being ignored and rejected is pretty common and I need to get used to it if I want to get this up and running.
I will definitely look into those sources, thank you! I think if the involved parties are willing, this could really happen with enough support and organization. If it reaches that point, would you be interested in being involved in some way?
“None of them responded, so I’m feeling a bit deflated, although I’m learning that being ignored and rejected is pretty common and I need to get used to it if I want to get this up and running.”
Fall down seven times, get up eight.
Isn’t that the way that saying goes?
When I’m bombarded with a stream of those kind of non-response thingies, I try to think “They haven’t responded YET.” 🙂
Also, I don’t know if you emailed or called, but if you did reach out by email, sometimes the first email from a new address (even if it’s the mighty gmail) has a notorious habit of going straight to the Spam folder. I’m wondering if there’s a possibility of following up with a short call to the organizations to whom you’ve already reached out to see if they’ve even seen what they sent you …?
If it’s a big list, and/or if the prospect of The Phone Call is OMGDaunting … I can’t imagine there aren’t folks here getting their Virtual Assistant gigs going who mightn’t be able to help you out. Wouldn’t want to see something like this with potential to be so tremendous stopped short because of the dreaded Perceived Logistical Obstacle (or, my other favorite, the Technical Boo-Boo Glitch).
Best of luck!
Absolutely – you’ll need to persist. Maybe make a ‘one pager’ that outlines your idea and has the ‘who’, ‘how’ ‘why’, ‘when’ etc explained plainly to help you explain your concept to busy people with diverse backgrounds. Include weblinks to examples of similar things that it might be based on / influenced by. Later as organisations formally support your idea you could ask their permission to get their logo on the one pager and / or a quote by them saying what a good idea they rink the project is. this will help convince others.
You could also focus on being very clear about what you are looking for when you approach people: e.g.. a venue for free? volunteer facilitators? Someone experienced to help design the process (this takes time and skill)? An organisation to manage the recruitment of participants (also takes time, skill and preferably experience). Are you looking for one overarching organisation to host it, fund it and ‘own’ it – or are you hoping a few organisations will come together to run it (in my experience a nice idea but harder and more time consuming to do). being very clear about your ‘ask’ is critical when approaching organisations out of the blue – people are so busy you can’t leave them guessing what in participalr you want from them.
Hint – start with academics to get ‘in principle support’ or see if you can get someone who would donate a grad student to research the program’s effectiveness – someone who works in political economy/ democracy etc would be great. To have the formal support and interest of a university can help give it creed – but you need to make clear to other stakeholders that its primarily an education /policy/ social change project not primarily a research project.
Or start with small not for profits who would endorse the concept and volunteer some time (‘in-kind’ support not money support), or find a kind philanthropist who will cough up some seed funding to fund the design and engagement of stakeholders…
I can’t help more than that sorry – I’m starting in a new field and need al my time to set up my business 🙂 Best wishes and good luck!
That is very helpful thank you everyone! I’m sure I will be coming back to what many of you said after I process it. Yesterday I got a phone message from NAMI, and even though it was a referral that they responded and seemed open minded and encouraging left me with a huge grin on my face. (Phone conversations ARE very daunting, I worry everyone will want to speak via phone).
But right now I’m trying to figure out the best way to propose the idea to families of shooting victims, survivors of shootings, and shooters families. Without their interest I don’t think the idea can work. I’m not sure how to reach them, and how to tactfully present my idea without being insensitive. Do they have representatives? Maybe write the schools where shootings happened? Maybe someone high profile like Ms. Giffords who would be behind it to help ask them?
I’ve written to the National Coalition for Dialogue and Deliberation. I’ve been browsing through their site, and I just want to say WOW! This is so cool!
Still going with this, slowly.